Swotting up, p.13

  Swotting Up, p.13

   part  #9 of  Wayfair Witches' Cozy Mystery Series

Swotting Up
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  I grinned. ‘I really do. But first … Christine, I need to know your opinion on Erik Shannon.’

  ≈

  We sat on her bed, sharing her wine and chocolate, while she told me all about Erik, back when he was in our coven. Speaking about him made her eyes light up. I wondered if I looked that way when I spoke about Will.

  ‘He was wild,’ she said. ‘Wild and unpredictable. When you add that to his amazing hair, I suppose it’s no wonder that every woman in the coven had a thing for him. Well.’ She smiled. ‘Everyone except your mother. Bea only ever had eyes for Aengus.’

  ‘But how come he even was a Wayfair?’ I wondered. ‘Why did he leave the Shannon coven for you guys?’

  Christine tossed back her auburn hair, shrugging. ‘He always said it was because the Shannons never did anything, but I’m not sure I believed him. He told us he was bored with their coven. They had one Wayfarer, many moons ago, and they were going to dine out on that story until the day they died. He even thought they ought to hand over the Sword of Sylvia to us instead of keeping it in that vault.’ She winced. ‘I suppose if they had, it wouldn’t have been stolen. Have you heard about that?’

  I nodded. ‘Sylvia Berry told me. Although I get the feeling she’d rather go back to being called Sylvia Shannon.’

  Christine smiled. ‘She was always far too good for the Berry coven. Erik thought so, too. They were close. Cousins, I think. But they never agreed when it came to that sword. Erik was convinced it was once owned by the original Wanda. That’s why he wanted it with us.’

  I took a sip of wine. ‘It was belong to the original Wanda,’ I said. ‘It was called the Elemental Sword. That one same sword really did the rounds – it’s even the one that the Wayfarer Gretel was said to carry. The Queen told me about it. But that stays between us, okay?’

  Christine rolled her eyes. ‘It will definitely stay between us. I almost wish I didn’t know it myself. The thought of Erik being right really annoys me, y’know. He doesn’t need to get any smugger than he already is.’

  Boy, was she right about that. ‘But you’ve only told me why he was a Wayfair instead of a Shannon back then,’ I pointed out. ‘It doesn’t tell me why he left you guys. Or why he’s so irritatingly obnoxious whenever our coven is mentioned.’

  ‘Well, that’s because of me, actually.’ She banged her head against the headboard. ‘Or at least that’s the way Erik sees it. I suppose I might as well admit it after all these years. Yes, I was in love with him. Crazy in love. Working with him was … it was like a dance. If we were battling a wayward witch together, we always knew what move the other would make. We were perfect partners. We almost always made our arrest. But my goodness, he was difficult to even like let alone love.’

  She went quiet for a moment, lost in her memories. It was a good few minutes before she spoke again. ‘As if stirring up trouble between us and the Shannons over that sword wasn’t bad enough,’ she said. ‘But he had this irritating wanderlust as well. That was a Shannon trait. He and Sylvia were always off travelling around the world, looking for artefacts and OAPs and whatnot. Sylvia collected them the same way every other Shannon collected them – locked them up in a vault. But Erik … he was always looking for a better weapon. A better form of magic. A better way to fight the bad guys. The goddess knows, there have always been more than enough bad guys to go around.’

  I thought about Erik’s many weapons. The Knives of Intent, the other knives and wands tucked into his boots, and that simple, wooden wand he always used … it couldn’t be the wand, could it?

  ‘His wand,’ I said. ‘Why does he use it? Was it one of those weapons he went off to discover?’

  ‘Oh no.’ Christine reddened. ‘That wand was mine, actually. He got his power late, you see. I gave it to him when we were still at school. When he did become empowered, he still used it. He said it was because it was like having me by his side all the time, in every battle he fought.’ She hid her face behind her hair. ‘But that was the problem. The wand was by his side more often than I was, as the years went on. He would just take off without telling me he was leaving, and he’d expect that I’d still be waiting when he returned.’

  She reached for another tissue and wiped her eyes. ‘And one time, I wasn’t. I met Melissa’s dad. He was human. Not prone to gallivanting. Safe. Erik had been gone two years when I accepted Melissa’s dad’s proposal. By the time Erik came back, I was married and pregnant.’

  I sat back, silent. I’d always assumed Melissa’s dad divorced Christine because he couldn’t handle living with a witch. But maybe it was because he couldn’t handle living with someone who was in love with someone else. Because Christine was, clearly. She’d been happy with Kevin Caulfield, but other than when she accidentally took that love potion, I’d never seen her speak about him the way she spoke about Erik. My whole life long, in fact, I’d never seen her light up quite this much.

  ‘Erik was his typical over-reactive self,’ she went on. ‘He acted like I’d betrayed him, when in reality I’d waited years. He argued with every member of the coven, saying they’d all helped me betray him. As though we’d been keeping some sordid secret behind his back. We weren’t keeping a secret. I wasn’t sneaking around, and neither was anyone else. We didn’t know where he’d been all that time, or if he’d ever come back.’

  She balled her fists and took a deep sniff. ‘He left the coven after that. And, childish idiot that he is, he’s barely spoken to me since. But I’ll tell you one thing, Wanda. I would do it all again, exactly the same. No matter how Erik reacted. No matter how much I loved him. I’d marry Melissa’s dad all over again. Because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have Melissa. And she is, by far, the best thing in my life.’

  20. Contained

  When I woke up the next morning, Wolfie had one leg across me, and his great big hairy face was resting on my shoulder. Above me, Dizzy hung from a beam, chewing on (big surprise) a slice of mango. A sticky globule from his breakfast dripped down onto my forehead, and I rubbed my skin and sat up.

  ‘Why are you up so early?’ I asked my little bat. ‘Or did you just get in?’

  ‘Just got back,’ he replied, talking with a full mouth – something I couldn’t exactly chide him about, seeing as I did it myself. ‘Your mam was baking you another apple tart before she headed off to her office at the Wyrd Court, so she gave me my breakfast.’

  Oh, I loved my mother. One of these days I was going to get up at the crack of dawn so I could make her a sweet treat. ‘I’m going to go down and give her a big thank you hug,’ I said, moving Wolfie’s enormous leg and easing my way out of the bed.

  ‘She’s just gone,’ said a voice on the window-seat. ‘She gave me some chocolate spread on toast for my breakfast before she left, though. She also made me swear I’d eat some fruit today, so maybe I’ll have some of your apple tart.’

  Ah. It was Terrence. I hadn’t noticed him because of the fact that there was an enormous book covering his face. A book called A Guide for Familiars: How to Make Sure the Wayfarer Solves Your Witch’s Murder ASAP.

  My eyes went all a-goggle. ‘That can not be a real book. And where did you get it from, anyway?’

  ‘I ordered it online from Bish Bash Bosh Books. You know that online store run by wizards? “Bish bash bosh, and your book will arrive.”? Anyway, it arrived in under three minutes, so I’m definitely going to order more from them. You were drooling into your pillow at the time. Oh, and it’s most definitely a real book,’ he assured me. ‘It’s doing very well, too. Number three in the non-fiction charts at the moment.’

  ‘Hmm. Maybe I should give it a read myself,’ I mumbled, grabbing my robe and shuffling my way to the bathroom. ‘Because I can use all the help I can get.’

  ≈

  When I arrived at the lab, Ronnie was pulling out an old, heavy black pot that looked like it was around when the world began.

  ‘Hi.’ I placed the labelled bags of hair on her desk and held up a cup of coffee and a bag of pastries. ‘Sorry to drag you out of bed at the crack of dawn.

  ‘Give over,’ she said. ‘It’s Max. He’s one of ours, Wanda. I’d do anything for him. Now help me heave this over to the old hearth. It’s feeling moody this morning, and it’s insisting on being lifted rather than moved with a spell.’

  I looked down at the heavy cauldron. It did have a somewhat moody air. I lifted it from the bottom, while Ronnie grabbed the top, and together we huffed and puffed our way to the old hearth in the corner of the room.

  ‘I’ve attempted to test hair samples of Eau de Wolf users before,’ she explained. ‘But it’s proved impossible. They’re protected.’

  ‘Protected?’

  ‘See, the more we begin to investigate the potions and perfumes on the market, the cleverer the makers get. They’re using protections so that we can’t examine them. Blood and hair samples of users are coming up clean. For months I’ve been stumped about how to figure this out.’ She gave me a sad smile. ‘But it turns out, knowing that a guy as nice as Max might be in trouble is all the inspiration I needed. I fell asleep after Christine phoned me last night, and I dreamt of a recipe my granny used to use. She died when I was really little, and I’d forgotten everything I saw her do. Or so I thought. The recipe I dreamt of was a bit like our What’s My Poison except, well, better. And as for why I’m using this testy old cauldron, well … it belonged to my granny.’

  She pointed at the piled-up wood, making flames flare up before turning back to me. ‘You already know we’re trying to make Eau de Wolf illegal. Not just because it’s all kinds of wrong to try and force someone into being attracted to you. Think about it, Wanda. If that’s what Emily is using, then she’s not just giving Max a hefty dose of werewolf pheromones. She’s spraying it on herself, too. And she’s a lot closer to it than he is. It hasn’t been around long enough for us to study what happens during prolonged use but …by the sounds of it, Emily might be a very good case study.’

  I asked her, ‘What do you mean?’ But the truth was, I had a pretty good idea.

  ‘Think about it. She’s spraying werewolf hormones on herself, day after day. But she’s not a werewolf. Werewolves let off steam during the full moon. It evens them out, makes them calmer people. Without that outlet, they’d be wild. Possessive. Jealous. Angry. And did I say possessive? I know how important Max is to you, Wanda. We’ll figure out what’s going on, and how to fix him.’ She gave me a wry grin. ‘And I guess I’ll figure out how to fix Jasper, too, if I must. Now go, before Erik Shannon accuses me of making you late.’

  ≈

  As it turned out, I arrived five minutes early for my lesson with Erik, so thankfully he didn’t send any Knives of Intent my way. Instead, he was waiting at his desk with coffee and energy drinks.

  ‘You didn’t seem like a morning person,’ he said, passing one of each my way.

  I peeled off my many layers – gloves, hat, scarf, coat – and took a seat across from him, gawping around his office. There was a backpack in one corner, an open notebook on his desk and absolutely nothing else. Oh wait – there was also a potted plant, although it was made of plastic and covered in dust.

  ‘Don’t plan on sticking around?’ I commented as I took the energy drink and chugged it down. Sure, I’d already had two hefty doses of caffeine this morning, but who was counting?

  ‘Honestly, it’s a long while since anywhere has felt like home,’ he said. ‘And I doubt that this position is about to change that. So let’s get on with the lesson before I get itchy feet. Now, you know there are two sides to a Sliogán spell. The protection, and the explosion. We’ve established that you’ve got the explosion part down pat, Miss Wayfair. But can you do what matters? Can you protect yourself from a long-range attack?’

  ‘I’ll need to when Jessica finds out you’re giving me a private lesson. Why are you giving me this lesson, anyway?’

  He placed his hands behind his head and tilted back in his chair. ‘I never actually intended to teach Sliogán spells, Wanda. That was just a demonstration of what’s possible after many years of study. But imagine my surprise when I discovered that you don’t need years. Your magic is astounding – but then I shouldn’t have expected less, considering you’re rumoured to be the Wayfarer.’

  I drained the can he’d given me, and started on my coffee. Coupled with the apple tart I’d had for breakfast and the pastry I’d purloined from the bag I brought to Ronnie, this was not starting off as my healthiest day. ‘Yeah, it’s really awesome to be the Wayfarer,’ I said dryly. ‘Can’t you just tell how much my classmates admire me?’

  ‘Sure, your aptitude for magic is incredibly irritating to Jessica and the other students. But who cares what they think. It’s a good thing that you’re learning so quickly. Seeing as you don’t have much time to get the hang of this.’

  I narrowed my eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’

  He sipped at his coffee. ‘Doesn’t take a genius, Wanda. I know what part of the library Bess was murdered in, and I know what’s kept down in that vault. I make it my business to know these things. But that’s enough chatter, I think. You just stay exactly where you are and finish off your coffee, and I’ll start getting ready for the lesson.’

  He stood up and put on his long black coat. He checked the many weapons in his boots, and in the inside pockets of his coat, and I took note of each and every one. He gave most of them a cursory once over, but his eyes lingered on the wooden wand, and he swallowed before placing it back in his boot.

  When he was sure he was as deadly as he was ever going to be, he went to a filing cabinet, opened up a drawer, and pulled out a small, bronze device with a button on top. He hit the button, and wavering, almost transparent bars appeared around the desk – and around me. I stood up, walking towards the bars. As soon as I touched them, a jolt of something powerful and painful sent me flying back from the bars.

  ‘You’ve put me in some kind of cell!’ I cried. ‘What the heck is going on, Erik?’ As I asked that question, my mobile phone shot out of my pocket and into his waiting hand.

  21. The First Rule of Mage Monk Club

  He crossed his arms. ‘Yes, I’ve put you in a cell, but it’s not what you think. I haven’t disempowered you, Wanda. This is a cell that’s only meant to keep my magic out. In here, even the strongest witch’s power should not be allowed to penetrate. These magical bars are as strong as the bars in the Witchfield cells. No one should be able to do anything to you in here.’ He tossed my phone through the bars and then pulled up his lapels. ‘And yet, I managed to pilfer your phone. Hmm. How did I do that, I wonder?’

  ‘Probably by cheating,’ I grumbled, turning on my phone. It still had full coverage, thank the goddess. He didn’t appear to have done anything other than use it to show off.

  ‘No. Not by cheating. You and I are not cheaters, Wanda. And in a few minutes time, I’m going to achieve something far more difficult than simply stealing your phone through those anti-magic bars. I’m going to head over to the monstrosity on O’Connell Street and try to freeze you from there.’ He turned on a camera that was sitting on a nearby cabinet, pointing it at me. ‘You have five minutes to prepare. I’ll be filming what you do – or don’t do – to try to protect yourself.’

  He tossed the bronze device to me. ‘If I don’t manage to freeze you – but I think I will – then turn off the bars and follow me to O’Connell Street.’ He clicked his fingers and left the room.

  Huh. Well, this was an interesting lesson. I should be terrified right now, and yet all I felt was excitement. The sort of excitement I hadn’t felt since, well … since I was a full-on Wayfarer.

  Erik said he would be able to freeze me and, honestly, I didn’t care whether he was using reverse psychology or not. I was going to do my best to beat him, and once I did, I was going to ask him to tell me everything he knew about Mage Monks – because I had the feeling it was a lot.

  I knew he wouldn’t be satisfied if I used the sort of protective bubble I’d used the day the ex-Minister’s minions had tried to murder my friends and me. The object was for me to achieve something that could remain activated at all times. An undetectable protection that would repel any harm that came my way.

  There were things in the magical world that could protect the wearer from almost any harm. The most effective was Impervium, a stone that was usually encased within a locket or other jewellery. The only problem with that was that you had to preferably be a vampire in order to take part in the Protection Trials in Transylvania and win an Impervium locket.

  Even so, it might be an easier option than what Erik expected me to do. When I’d shielded myself in the past, the shield had been a tangible thing. The only other way I knew to protect myself was to attack, to fight like with like. When the last murderer I’d fought was going to hit me with a death spell, I had no choice but to counter her spell with a death spell of my own.

  Hmm. I couldn’t just outright counter him, could I? Freezing him before he could freeze me would hardly be playing fair, and it would defeat the purpose of what we were trying to do. But I could make it so that the second he tried to freeze me, his spell bounced back on him.

  I did a little bit of head scratching and toe tapping while I thought (nothing to do with all of the caffeine and sugar, honestly). Any sort of bounce-back spell was notoriously difficult. Spells like that required a lot of ingredients, or else some kind of poppet or talisman of a known enemy.

  Even if I did have the time and the ingredients, it wasn’t what Erik was looking for. He wanted something invisible. As invisible as a boundary spell.

  I blinked. Could it be possible? Insitu spells had always scared me. They’d been used to trap me in the past. They’d been used to make sure I couldn’t fight my way out of a burning building, and even used to make sure I couldn’t stop my power being drained …

 
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