‘Really? No idea what that could have been about. I mean … you know how it is, don’t you? I never remember much of it.’ His head cocked to the side, as though he’d heard something, and he rushed out of the room and into the front bedroom. ‘Hey, Rover is here,’ he said. ‘Have to go. Catch up with you later?’

  I started to follow him, but he moved so fast and was out of the door, slamming it behind him, before I’d even made it halfway down the stairs. I raced down behind him and wrenched the front door open again, staring out at a car in the driveway.

  It was a huge pick-up, and Rover was sitting in the driver’s seat, while Max sat next to him. Before I could get out to the car, Rover had backed it out of the driveway with a harried wave in my direction, and was already speeding away.

  3. Murder Most Murderous

  I stared after the pick-up, just as I’d stared after Tizzy. This wasn’t as weird as that, though. Was it? Rover and Max could simply be rushing off to the rescue centre they ran together, to check up on a sick dog, or to meet a new arrival. Or they could have eaten something funny the night before, and now they needed to rush off to the healer, or to a pharmacy so they could buy something to ease their queasy stomachs.

  Yeah, that had to be it. And all those people who’d called in to say that the weredogs hadn’t been eating out of bins the night before, well … they didn’t mean Max. Max ate terrible things when he turned, and almost always out of bins. It was one of the reasons why, for the rest of the month, he stuck to a strict vegan diet. It was also one of the reasons why I knew that love is blind, and also strategically forgetful, because I always put any images of what he did at full moon to the back of my mind, never to be thought of again.

  At least until now.

  But there was nothing to worry about, really there wasn’t. And, even on the very small, doesn’t bear thinking about chance that there was … well, I would have to postpone that worry for a later time. For now, I had a Defensive Magic class to get to, and I couldn’t be late.

  ≈

  Strange though it sounds, my one on one sessions with Professor Erik Shannon were far easier than the classes I had to attend with others. Sure, he tended to torture me during our private lessons – he locked me up in towers, coffins, and trapped me in seemingly inescapable spells, he chucked mystical weapons at me without warning, made me walk through brick walls, stripped me of my magic to see how long it was before I got it back … Oh, and also, he was kind of grumpy.

  But at least while Erik was putting me through my paces I knew that he was doing it from a place of caring. Yes, he needed to work on the way he showed his affection, but I knew that he was just trying to prepare me for the worst.

  The classes I shared with other students, though? They were a different sort of torture, and that was because, even after all this time at Crooked College, I’d made more enemies than friends. I know, I know – I don’t understand my lack of popularity, either. But it didn’t much matter to me why they’d joined the I Hate Wanda club. I didn’t care that they disliked me – I just wished they’d keep their dislike to themselves.

  The meanest of the lot was a student called Jessica Berry, and on that Monday morning, she was meaner than ever. She managed to call me fat, insult my clothing, and when we had to pair off for combat practice, she tried to kill me with a death spell. Sure, the idea of the class was to learn to defend against villainy and murder, but we didn’t use actual death spells. Apart from the danger aspect, I doubted that the college’s insurance would cover it.

  After blocking Jessica’s spell, I was feeling incredibly irritated. I’d had a bad night, a strange morning, and I was about to spend the afternoon searching for a doppel-Dizzy. The last thing I needed was Jessica taking her angst out on me.

  I almost wanted to stay late, just so I could watch Erik telling her off – he was ever so good at it – but I had other things to do. My mother had messaged me to tell me that everyone was meeting for lunch at Wayfarers’ Rest, so I headed to the library to meet Will, and tell him we’d had a change of plans.

  ≈

  The Longest Library was relatively quiet when I arrived. I couldn’t hear much except the sounds of Adeline Albright’s quill scratching across paper, as she worked in her office, and the rustle of pages as the Bookworms read. If Adeline knew there were so many here today, she wouldn’t be happy. She considered Bookworms to be an infestation. And sure, they left crumbs in books, sometimes the odd chocolate stain, and they did have a habit of dog-earing the pages instead of using book marks to hold their place. But they were also incredibly adorable.

  They were about the size of a small cat, and just like a cat, they loved to curl up on a warm lap. Unlike a cat, they didn’t dig their claws in; instead, they enjoyed reading with their witch, preferably by a crackling fire.

  They had arms, too – which, according to the Bookworms who frequented the Longest Library, had evolved because of their love of reading and their need to quickly turn pages. It was said that their big round eyes, with exceptionally good eyesight, had evolved for the same reasons. But despite their perfect vision, most Bookworms wore glasses. They said that they liked the look of a nice pair of spectacles, even if they didn’t need them – some Bookworms took that style choice one step further, and wore a monocle. They also enjoyed wearing little jackets with elbow patches, and many of them smoked pipes (which they preferred to fill with bubbles rather than tobacco, so I’m not sure that it technically counts as smoking). Almost every Bookworm I knew travelled with a flask of hot chocolate and a lunchbox filled with marshmallows.

  Right now Dee Dee, one of my favourite Bookworms, was sitting by the fire and drinking a hot chocolate that was about ninety-percent marshmallow. She was also eating a custard cream, getting crumbs everywhere as she read a book called Murder Most Murderous, from the Mrs Magely series of detective novels.

  As she continued to read, she laughed, gasped, chewed and slurped with relish.

  ‘Good book?’ I asked, taking a seat on the other side of the fireplace.

  ‘Wanda!’ She looked up at me, a little dazed. ‘Sorry, I didn’t see you come in. I was so caught up in this book that I’m reading. Mrs Magely is investigating an incredibly murderous murder at a wizarding college,’ she told me, in between slurps of hot chocolate. ‘You know the kind of murder I mean. A really, really horrible one, carried out by the most fiendish of fiends.’

  I nodded. ‘I do, Dee Dee. I really, really do.’

  She squinted at me. ‘Oh yes, you would do, wouldn’t you? Is being a detective as exciting as it is in novels, Wanda?’

  I winced. ‘I don’t know if I’d call it exciting. But … I do get a bit of a buzz when there’s a mystery afoot. Speaking of mysteries …’ I glanced at my watch. ‘I’ve got a couple of minutes before Will gets here. I’m going to go and take a look in the Magical Animals section. Last night I met a bat who looked exactly like Dizzy.’

  ‘Really?’ Dee Dee appeared impressed. ‘I always thought there was only one Lesser-Known Mango Bat in the entire world. Ooh, but there is a book about them, in the Magical Animals section, third shelf down on the left wall.’

  I gave her a smile of thanks, told her, ‘You’re a star, Dee Dee,’ and headed to the section, quickly finding a book called The Lesser-Known Mango Bat exactly where she said it would be. It was extremely thin, and I opened it to find only five pages inside – three of those pages were filled with illustrations.

  Withholding a groan of frustration, I read the opening page:

  The Lesser-Known Mango Bat is an extremely rare magical variety of bat. So far, this author has heard of only one in existence, a witch’s familiar known as Dizzy Wayfair. The Lesser-Known Mango Bat is brownish-black (or blackish-brown) in colour, and eats a diet made up of only mangoes.

  The bat has extremely dextrous fingers and sharp teeth, and is renowned for its glossy coat and bright smile. It is–

  I closed the book, rolling my eyes. ‘Of course it’s about Dizzy,’ I mumbled. ‘Because he really is one of a kind. And by the sounds of it, he’s had some input into the text.’

  A giggle echoed in the room behind me, and I turned to look at Dee Dee. She was pointing to the main door of the library. ‘I hear your boyfriend Will out there, right on time for your lunch date,’ she teased.

  I shook my head and wagged a finger. ‘You know perfectly well that he’s not my date, you little minx,’ I said, putting the book back and heading towards the door to meet Will.

  He was standing in the hallway just outside the library, with his not-girlfriend Sandra beside him, and Sandra’s crush, Bill, standing a few feet away, waiting patiently while Sandra and Will said their goodbyes.

  Sandra gave me a jealous glare, pressed a lunchbox into Will’s hands and said, ‘I’ll see you for dinner, darling,’ before stalking away with Bill by her side.

  ‘I see she’s still pretending to hate me, then,’ I drawled. ‘Have to say, for someone who’s just pretending, she does a really good job.’

  Will walked into the library and set the lunchbox on a nearby table. ‘Tell me about it. I actually called her up this morning and told her I don’t want to be her pretend boyfriend anymore. I said she should just be straight with Bill, and tell him she was only trying to make him jealous by being with me, and that it’s him she really loves. I thought she took it all in, but then she turned up here, just as I was on my way to meet you. I took her aside and had yet another word with her, but she just ignored everything I said and carried on as normal. How do you dump someone you’re not actually going out with?’ He groaned. ‘Anyway, did you find out anything else about that Dizzy lookalike?’

  ‘No. But my coven are working on it. I’m heading over to Wayfarers’ Rest now, actually. Do you want to come along? It’s got to be better than reading yet more Bad, Bad Books in the hopes of figuring out your dad’s latest dastardly plan. And maybe they have some idea about the weird magic in the air last night. Hopefully they’ve had some look finding Tizzy, too, because I know they were working on it while I was in class.’

  ‘Sounds good. First, though, Wanda … I was thinking about it all night. Well, in between snatches of sleep. Did you happen to notice that Tizzy looked particularly scared of me? I mean, he was scared about the whole scenario, I thought. But there was something about the way he looked at me. I dunno. I felt like I terrified him, for some reason.’

  ‘Yeah. Yeah, I thought that too, I must admit. We’ll figure it out, though.’ I glanced at the door as Finn Plimpton barged into the library, looking flustered and smelling of coffee.

  ‘Hey, boss.’ I frowned. ‘Why are you here? I thought you were meeting up with the rest of us for lunch.’

  ‘I was,’ he said. ‘And I was really looking forward to it, too. Christine said she’s made moussaka.’

  I gave my mouth a pre-emptive wipe. Christine’s moussaka was very tasty.

  ‘But instead,’ Finn continued, ‘I’ve got to go and give a press conference about all of the weird stuff that happened last night. I mean, people are worried. We’re not the only ones who felt like it was big magic, and people want some assurance that we’re investigating it.’ He paused, looking me up and down. ‘You look awful. Didn’t you get any sleep?’

  ‘I did,’ I said, smoothing my hair down defensively. ‘Plenty.’

  ‘Where, a warzone?’

  ‘The couch in your office, actually.’

  ‘Ah. That’s why it looked all messed up when I got in this morning.’

  ‘By messed up, are you referring to the fact that I threw the rubbish that was on your couch into the bin?’

  He cleared his throat. ‘Anyway. While I waste my time telling people that we’re doing our jobs, I need you to do some proper work. Because excessive amounts of werewolf pee and over-zealous chanting aren’t the only things we have to worry about. There was a murder this morning, Wanda. And you know those gut feelings you sometimes get? Well, I’m getting one right now. I have this sinking certainty that this murder is connected to all of that strange magic in the air. The rest of the team are on their way to the crime scene right now.’

  I glanced at Will. ‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘Lunch’ll have to wait, unless you want to head to Wayfarers’ Rest without me.’ Turning back to Finn, I asked, ‘So where is it?’

  ‘Wentforth’s College.’

  Over by the fireplace, Dee Dee sat up and gasped. ‘A murder at a wizarding college? It’s just like in my book!’

  4. The Not-So-Super Mop

  I met Gretel on the steps of Wentforth’s College for Wizards. She was yawning, drinking from a takeaway cup, and holding a bag of pastries.

  ‘Want one?’ She held the bag out. ‘There’s at least a dozen in here.’

  I peeked into the bag. There were croissants, cinnamon rolls, some custard slices and some doughnuts. ‘I guess you felt as in need of sugar as I do this morning,’ I said, pulling out a doughnut.

  She yawned again. ‘Well, yeah, but I didn’t buy all of this. My brother dropped it off for me at the station.’

  ‘Really?’ I finished off the doughnut and licked the sugar from my fingers. ‘I have never seen him do that before. Although I didn’t even know he existed until recently, so that could be the reason.’

  Gretel gave me a wry smile. ‘I guess it must seem weird to you, that I don’t talk about my coven or bring you to meals at my house and stuff. You and your coven are so … healthy.’

  ‘I mean, maybe Christine and Melissa …’

  She laughed. ‘I didn’t mean physically. I mean mentally, emotionally. It wouldn’t even occur to you to keep your friends and your home life separate.’

  ‘Em, hello – I did escape my coven and live in the human world for years. And I definitely didn’t bring my friends from my accountancy course, or the supermarket I worked in, home to Wayfarers’ Rest.’

  She took a sip of her coffee, before saying, ‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. We all have our baggage. There’s really no big dark secret or anything about my coven, though. I’m not hiding anything. I just … I don’t feel quite like I belong. Y’know, because none of the rest of them trip over their own shadow. And my brother, well … he’s not so bad, even if he is annoyingly amazing at absolutely everything he tries his hand at. The poor thing goes all brotherly and attentive every now and then – like today, bringing me all of this lovely food. But no doubt he’ll get sick of my bad attitude soon enough and give up trying for a while. It’s like a cycle with us. I should definitely learn to be more grateful and not keep pushing him away so much, I suppose, because it’s not his fault he’s better at most things than I am. Anyway, let’s get in there.’ She moved towards the college’s double doors. ‘Shane and Paul are inside already. The dean’s not happy about it.’

  As we walked in together, I saw Dean Errol Armitage over on the other side of the foyer. I could see Shane and Paul standing with him, looking frustrated.

  The dean marched our way. He was wearing maroon coloured robes today, and a crooked wizard’s hat, covered in small circles that were either supposed to be full moons, or pancakes. It was hard to tell. His white beard was neatly shaven, and he had twinkling eyes and a lovely round stomach that always reminded me a little of Santa Claus.

  ‘Can you please tell your colleagues not to be so obvious about the m-u-r-d-e-r?’ the dean whispered. ‘They asked me very loudly, in front of at least a dozen students, where the body was.’

  ‘And seeing as it’s not in the foyer, but Shane and Paul are, then I’m guessing you didn’t actually tell them yet,’ I remarked.

  The dean ran a hand over his white beard. ‘Well, it’s not actually me who found it. And also, you know, I think we should just wait until later on, when all of the students have gone home. Katy Kramer can solve it. She’s an excellent detective – and as a student here, she can sneak around with no one ever having to know we’ve had yet another m-u-r-d-e-r at the college.’

  The dean might have known Katy Kramer was a detective, but he didn’t know she was also one of our detectives, working undercover for us. ‘This is a Wayfarer matter, Dean Armitage,’ I said. ‘Plus, seeing as Katy is one of your students, you should probably be aware that she’s on holiday right now, with her boyfriend. So can you take us to the murder scene, please?’

  He winced. ‘Can’t you just spell that word out? Someone will hear. We’ve had an awful lot of unfortunate incidents at this college – any more, and I’m afraid we’ll lose our funding.’

  Professor Eva Moon appeared at his side, sighing. Unlike the dean, the Professor of Practical Wizardry didn’t dress in robes or wear a wizard hat. She had long fair hair, bound into a loose knot at the back of her head – and her wand, sticking out of this knot, was the only outward sign that she was a wizard.

  ‘Errol, every single student already knows about it,’ she said. ‘I’ll take the Wayfarers down. It’s this way.’ She led us to the end of a nearby corridor. As she opened a door and began to lead us down a set of steps, her body grew tense.

  ‘It was me who discovered the body, as a matter of fact,’ she told us. ‘I was down there getting some materials for my lunchtime class. Obviously, the class has now been cancelled. I don’t think I could face my students today after what I’ve just seen.’

  ‘You do lunchtime classes?’ asked Gretel. ‘That’s unusual.’

  ‘Not for here,’ Eva replied. ‘We have a lot of part time students, so we’ve created classes to fit in with their schedules. We have early morning sessions, evening sessions, and even – once or twice a week – a short lunchtime class. More of a cram session, really, where we hash out what we’ve learned the week before.’ She looked my way. ‘You were a student here once, weren’t you?’