‘I …’ I began. ‘You …’ I continued. ‘Doggie … are you counselling me?’

  He gave me a gentle smile. ‘Do you feel like you need counselling, Wanda? If so, I would be only too happy to oblige. I’m qualified in many therapeutic fields.’

  ‘Of course you are,’ I drawled. ‘I mean, why wouldn’t you be? But let’s lay my many psychological issues aside just for the moment, shall we? Because while I might be stressed and confused, the main reason for that stress and confusion is you, Doggie. What are you doing here? Why do you know my name? Why were you trying to get me to play follow the leader earlier on?’

  ‘That’s a lot of questions,’ he replied. ‘And before I get to them, might I just request that you call me Russ? If you’re comfortable with that, of course.’

  ‘Fine. Russ it is. So Russ – why are you here?’

  ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I could begin with the official reason for why I’m here, which is to ask you why my witch was so intent on contacting you before he was murdered. But in the interest of emotional honesty, I ought to admit that I’m almost happy to be here with you now, Wanda the Wayfarer – if only because it provides a temporary distraction from my absolute and utter grief.’

  I slid onto a garden bench, staring at him while I wondered which part of that made the least sense. All of it, I thought – it all made the least sense.

  Eventually I managed to find my words, and I said, ‘Okay, well … here’s the thing, Doggie – I mean, Russ. You’re in Riddler’s Cove. There are no murders in Riddler’s Cove. Not since my fiancé became Minister for Magical Law. And Wanda the Wayfarer? I’m Wanda Wayfair. Maybe you’re at the wrong address?’

  He gave me what I have to say was the most patronising smile I had ever received from a dog. ‘That would be easier, wouldn’t it, Wanda? If that were true, then you could carry on as normal, with no need for change. Because nobody likes change, do they? But sometimes, Wanda, change is exactly what we need. It needn’t be frightening, if only we learn to embrace it.’

  I felt my fingernails digging into the wood of the bench. If I were the sort of girl who cared about my nails, I might be worried about what state they’d be in afterwards. Right now, though, all I was worried about was this dog’s sanity.

  ‘Okay, let’s just forget the mumbo jumbo and focus on facts,’ I told him. ‘You say your witch was murdered, which cannot be a fact. Not only because murders just don’t happen here, but also because if your witch died, you would also be dead. Familiars always die with their witch, or very soon after.’

  ‘Ah.’ He rocked back onto his haunches. ‘You have me there, Wanda, I must admit. I’m just as confused about my lively state as you are. But given the fact that I felt an undeniable urge to get in touch with you, I think you might know a little more about that than I do, Wayfarer.’

  I felt my face wrinkle up. ‘You’re saying that weird word again. I told you, my coven name is Wayfair, not Wayfarer. And I have no idea why you’re here, so if you don’t either, well then … we might as well call it a night.’ I stood up. ‘You’re welcome to come inside if you have nowhere else to go. The cats might give you a hard time, mind you.’

  I rushed back into the kitchen, not really sure why I was rushing. A few minutes ago I’d felt the sort of excitement that made me believe I could handle this – but that was before I actually knew what this was. And this … well, this was feeling like it had already raced way past weird and was on its way to impossible.

  Russ padded behind, shaking his head and saying, ‘If they do, then I shall talk them through their issues, explain that there’s really no need for the cat-hates-dog dynamic. It might take one or two mental exercises, but they’ll soon see that I’m not their enemy. But Wanda, I can see by the size of your pupils and the shaking of your limbs that you are far from ready to sleep. You’re in a hyper-state, and if you’d just let me talk you through some breathing exercises, then–’

  He finally stopped talking, but only because Mischief, Queenie and Princess had blocked his path, and were sending some loud and warning hisses in Russ’s direction.

  ‘This dog annoying you, Wanda?’ said Mischief, lifting a paw as though he were about to throw a punch at Russ. ‘Just say the word and we’ll send him packing.’

  Oh, dear goddess. The coven cats could be quite the little gangsters when they wanted to be. ‘No,’ I replied with a sigh. ‘He’s … well … he’s not totally bothering me. And if he is, it’s kind of my own fault, seeing as I’ve invited him in. So let’s all just try and make him feel welcome, okay? No matter how annoying he gets.’

  Queenie looked the dog up and down. ‘He doesn’t seem to have any fleas, but that’s probably the only thing I can say in his favour. Are you sure about this, Wanda?’

  I patted the black cat’s head. ‘Yes, Queenie, I’m sure. He’s coming up to my room with me. I’ll keep him out of your way.’

  Russ shook his head. ‘But Wanda, no one needs to avoid one another. Not if we can learn to break through the toxic behavioural patterns. I’ve always been of the mindset that–’

  I took him gently by the collar and scratched him behind the ear. ‘I’ve always been of the mindset that, at three o’clock in the morning, my bedroom’s the only place to be. But look, you can even sit in the armchair while I lay out on my bed, if you like. Like it’s a proper therapy session.’

  He looked at me with renewed interest. ‘I know you’re being sarcastic, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea, you know. Could we maybe try it out? Play along, just for me?’

  ≈

  Five minutes later, I was playing along. I lay flat out on my bed, while Russ sat up in the room’s only armchair. He had insisted I place a notepad and pencil next to him on the chair, so I’d played along with that as well. I mean, it wasn’t as though he could actually write, was it?

  ‘Now Wanda,’ he began. ‘I am the familiar of Gareth Flowers, the man whose body you found at the tavern today. Do you accept that as reality?’

  ‘Yes, Russ,’ I said. ‘I accept that as reality.’ I didn’t, because it was impossible, but if this was what it took to get the dog to finally get to the point, then I was happy to lie.

  ‘You don’t,’ he said. ‘You’re quite clearly lying. But we have to get to the point eventually, so I’ll ignore that for now. Gareth was my witch. He was a healer, coming to work as an assistant for Old Ma Flowers.’

  I held up a hand. ‘Old Ma Flowers doesn’t even have enough work to keep her own healing practice going, not since my boyfriend created his Heal All and Age Well potions. So I’m not even going to bother pretending I believe that.’

  He picked the pencil up in his mouth, and scribbled something in the notebook. Wow. He really could write. ‘It’s interesting that you call him your boyfriend, when everyone knows that the Minister for Magical Law is in fact your fiancé. And yes, it’s true that Mr Berry has invented a Heal All and an Age Well potion, and that there’s very little call for healers as a result. Nevertheless, Gareth Flowers, my witch, was posted here.’

  I looked carefully at him. ‘Just out of interest, what age was Gareth when he died? And did he happen to have a penchant for glamour spells or the like?’

  The dog quirked a brow. ‘You’re still trying to make this fit into what you consider an acceptable narrative, Wanda. You’re hoping that Gareth was an old witch, using spells to keep him young, because if that were true then you could convince yourself he died of natural causes.’ He shook his head. ‘He was twenty-eight, Wanda. And in excellent health – just like everyone is, thanks to our talented Minister. But let’s move along, shall we? Gareth and I arrived at lunchtime today, and we were going to go for a bite at Three Witches Brew before we headed over to Lavender Cottage. Old Ma Flowers wasn’t going to be there until tomorrow, but she’d left a room prepared for him. He was her nephew, as it happens.’

  I shifted on the bed. His story was proving to be a little too believable for my liking. There had to be a flaw, somewhere. Something – anything – that meant my life could carry on as normal.

  ‘Just before my witch died,’ the dog continued, ‘he came over all funny and said, “I have to call Wanda Wayfair and tell her what’s happening here. She’s the Wayfarer. If anyone can sort this mess out, it’s her.” Now, tell me that that is something you don’t believe.’

  I looked him in the eye. ‘You’re using that Wayfarer word again. I have no idea what it means, and why Gareth thought it had anything to do with me.’

  The dog began to scribble some notes again, then placed the pencil down and gave me another patronising smile. ‘I can see that you’re suffering from some sort of mental blockage here, Wanda. You display all the signs of denial. But you can’t deny that Gareth phoned you before he died. The call was never answered, but his phone records will prove that he did call. When you look at them tomorrow, you’ll see that I’m right.’

  My eyes flitted to the plush-toy bat. No way I was going to cuddle him while this dog was analysing me. It would just add more fuel to his Wanda-is-clearly-crazy fire. ‘I em … I already know he called here. But it can’t have been for me, Russ. It must have been for someone else in the coven. The Wayfairs did track down wayward witches and supernaturals for a long time until the Peacemakers took over. I mean, they were pretty useless at it by all accounts, but … that’s not the point. He could have been looking for anyone in this house. And by anyone, I obviously mean anyone but me.’

  ‘I can assure you, Wanda, Gareth mentioned you by name. Admittedly it’s the first time he’s ever mentioned you. And, like you, I had never heard of this Wayfarer word before either. As he first tried to make the call, he was having problems with telephone reception, so we walked around looking for a better signal.’

  I frowned. ‘There’s perfect phone reception everywhere in Riddler’s Cove.’

  The dog shrugged. ‘Not today there wasn’t. When we got to the back of the tavern, he finally got a few bars on his phone and dialled. He tried your house first, and the call rang out. He was about to call your mobile, but … well … he never made it that far. And surely the fact that Gareth was murdered directly after he tried to phone you can only lead to one conclusion. He was killed because of something he was going to tell you.’

  Pausing, he glanced down at his notes. ‘Are you really ignorant of this Wayfarer word, Wanda? Because if you’re hiding something – or even pushing something down through fear – then I can assure you that we’re in a safe space. You can tell me anything. I would even go so far as to say that you must tell me – anything and everything that you think might be pertinent to my witch’s death. It’s your duty as a Peacemaker to solve crimes, after all. And my witch’s murder is a crime.’

  Propping myself up on my elbow, I said, ‘Look, Gareth wasn’t murdered. He must have died of natural causes, even if he was young. And I know that sometimes death is hard to accept. That you’ll need someone to blame. But there is no one to blame, Russ. Once you begin to work through your grief, you’ll see that it’s you in denial and not me.’

  His eyes widened. ‘Are you trying to counsel a counsellor, Wanda? I know I’m grieving. And I know that the only thing stopping me from falling apart right now is being here, with you, trying to convince you that you can help solve my witch’s murder. Because it was a murder. I’m a familiar, Wanda. I know my witch. Knew my witch. Inside and out. I felt his death, and I felt that it was a violent, and sudden one. I heard his last words, too. He said, “Someone’s put a death spell on me!”’

  I blinked a little, casting my eyes away from his. Fine, those had sounded like pretty certain last words, but it didn’t make the whole thing any easier to understand. I looked at him again. ‘But Russ … if that were the case, then you’d have seen his killer.’

  The dog shook his head. ‘There was no one in sight, I assure you. I tried to encourage him to fight the death spell. We were close to the kitchen entrance of the tavern when it happened, and I told him that I’d go in for help. But …’ He swallowed. ‘Gareth told me he would go for help. Alone. He told me that whoever had set the death spell upon him could kill me too. He told me … he told me to run.’

  ‘Look, Russ … I’m so sorry about what happened today. But you have this all wrong. You must have it wrong. No one can do a death spell from a distance, can they? I mean …’ I trailed off, feeling another slight lurch in my stomach. I knew I was right. I knew that every single book ever written confirmed it: no one had the power to do a death spell from afar. So why was my stomach churning again?

  ‘I’ll say one more thing before we end our session for the night,’ said Russ. ‘I watched from a distance when you and the others discovered my witch’s body, and I’ll tell you this – I might not have heard of this Wayfarer word before lunchtime, but the moment I saw you, I knew that you were she.’

  6. The Most Important Meal of the Day

  I was absolutely convinced that I hadn’t slept a wink – so convinced, in fact, that when Russ licked my face the next morning, I maintained my story.

  ‘Wake up,’ said the dog. ‘You sound like the Riddler’s Express when you snore.’

  I jolted up with a sexy snort, rubbed some drool off my chin and said, ‘I was already awake, Russ. And even if I were to nod off for a minute or two here and there, my snores would not sound like a train.’

  The dog licked me again and said, ‘Let’s set your many delusions aside for a moment, shall we? The sun is shining. The birds are twittering, and the bees …’ He cast a confused glance at my window, where a honeybee was bashing herself against the glass, over and over. ‘ … Well, the bees are a little dumber than usual, it must be said. But nevertheless. It does no good to wallow in bed, Wanda. Melissa is doing some yoga on the patio outside. Perhaps you should go and join her. Healthy body, healthy mind.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with my mind,’ I argued. ‘You’ve obviously been making yourself at home, then, seeing as you know Melissa’s name.’

  He nodded. ‘I’ve introduced myself to her, along with the rest of your coven. They all seem exceptionally bright to me. It surprises me that they made such a monumental cock-up of law enforcement before the Peacemakers took over.’

  ‘Huh.’ I found a spot of drool he’d missed and wiped it off my chin. ‘I suppose it surprises me too, now that I think about it. But it’s true, either way.’ I pushed off the covers and swung my feet to the floor. ‘I suppose they suggested we bring you to Will.’

  He jumped down and passed me my slippers, saying, ‘They think that might be best, yes. But they said they’d wait for you before firm decisions were made. Now, your father was about to make a veggie fry-up for breakfast, but as soon as I saw how much oil he was using to fry the mushrooms and sausages, I suggested you might prefer some porridge and fruit. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know – for your brain as well as your body. I’ll need you in tip-top form so we can figure this out, Wanda. No fry-ups allowed.’

  I narrowed my eyes. ‘But I like fry-ups.’

  ‘And I like the idea of living in a world where my witch wasn’t murdered. Life isn’t always fry-ups and lemonade, Wanda.’

  ‘Who would have lemonade with a fry-up?’ I shook my head as I pulled on my robe. ‘Y’know what? Never mind. I’m going to call Will.’ I picked up my phone. ‘He knows more about the supernatural world than the rest of us combined. If there’s any such thing as a Wayfarer, he’ll know. And he might be able to help figure out why you didn’t die when your witch did, too.’

  It really was a perfect solution, I thought with a breath of relief. So perfect that I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it last night. Of course Will would be the best person to deal with all of this. He was the best person to deal with everything.

  My relief didn’t last long, however, as Will’s phone went straight to message-minder. I hesitated for a moment, and then killed the call. Much as I wanted to palm Russ off on anyone but me, this didn’t seem like the kind of thing I should blurt out to Will’s answering service. ‘I’ll try him later,’ I muttered, before heading downstairs for the most important meal of the day.

  ≈

  By the time I made it downstairs, I expected the rest of my family to be just as irritated by Russ as I was. Instead, I found them happily eating porridge and fruit, and enthusiastically discussing whether or not Gareth had been killed with a death spell.

  ‘I mean, it’s not as though it’s outside the bounds of possibility, is it?’ said Christine. ‘Will’s brought about a golden age, it’s true. But the thing about golden ages is that there’s always someone who’s not as happy as they seem. That’s kind of the point about evil criminals, isn’t it? They can’t be happy until they’ve inflicted pain and misery on everyone else.’

  ‘Exactly!’ my mother enthused. ‘That’s just what I was saying to Wanda yesterday. I mean, we might be living in the best time any of us can remember, but think about it. Will’s Heal All Potion and his Age Well Elixir must have put a lot of other healers and potion-makers out of business. There isn’t even a Potions’ class at Crooked College this year.’ My mother stirred her porridge thoughtfully. ‘Come to think of it, I can’t remember who taught that class when they did have one.’

  I sat down and pulled a bowl towards me, ladling porridge in and piling it with strawberries. It actually looked delicious, now that I saw it all laid out. Sure, nothing could beat my dad’s fried mushrooms, but this seemed like a very close second.

  ‘You’re not actually saying you all believe what Russ is saying, are you? You really think Gareth Flowers was murdered?’ I glared at Russ. ‘You sure you’re not a hypnotist instead of a therapist?’

  The dog chuckled. ‘A sense of humour is a wonderful thing, Wanda. But not if you’re using jokes to mask your other feelings.’