‘Hi,’ I said cagily. ‘Can I em … can I help you?’

  ‘Are you Katy?’ she asked. ‘I mean this Katy.’ She pointed to the door, and I struggled to withhold yet another gasp. Just like the Scary Door, this one said:

  Katy Kramer, PI – Solving all of the crimes you’d prefer to keep on the down low, no matter how weird or how wild.

  ‘Why do you look so surprised to see your own door?’ the woman asked.

  ‘I … I wasn’t sure the sign-writer had finished with it yet.’ I looked questioningly at Hamish. He was the one who’d magicked the lettering onto the Scary Door, but judging by the look of bafflement in his eyes, he’d had nothing to do with this.

  ‘Your dog is wearing a hat,’ said the woman.

  ‘He … he … my little cousin put it on him,’ I lied. Until I knew whether or not she was supernatural – and how the heck she’d managed to knock at a door I hadn’t known existed until a few seconds ago – I was going to play it safe.

  ‘Look, can I come in?’ she said, shifting her weight and holding up the mirror. ‘This thing is heavy.’

  ‘Of course.’ I stood aside, staring back at the shelf-door that led into Ned’s shop. Luckily, it was closed. As I watched, I saw a small latch fall into place. A latch which hadn’t been there before, but which now meant Ned couldn’t wander innocently into our meeting.

  I glanced at Hamish. His buckle was shining, and he nodded briefly, letting me know that he’d been the one to lock the adjoining door.

  ‘Good thinking, Hamish,’ I mouthed, leading the woman to my desk.

  ‘Um, take a seat,’ I told her. ‘Can I get you some tea or coffee?’

  She shook her head in frustration. ‘I don’t want anything. I just want you to find out what you can about this mirror.’ She slid it across the desk, and my hands went to my ears.

  ‘Is that … is that incredibly loud sobbing that I can hear?’ asked Hamish.

  The woman snapped her head. ‘What’s wrong with your dog? He’s making strange noises.’

  My eyes widened. Strange noises? So she hadn’t heard him talking, then? That was surprising. Hamish wasn’t a familiar. He was merely a wizard, turned into a dog. Even a human ought to be able to understand him when he spoke.

  ‘He … that little cousin of mine gave him some crisps,’ I said quickly. ‘I think one got caught in his throat.’

  The woman sniffed. ‘Children are monsters. Anyway, about this mirror. You see, it’s been screaming and crying at me. It only happens between midnight and three in the morning. It’s driving me round the bend. My lodger says he can’t hear it, and I’m terrified to ask anyone else in case I get sent to the loony bin.’

  ‘Did you em … did you hear it sobbing just now?’

  She sat forward, her eyes shining. ‘You heard that too. Oh, thank goodness! It’s unusual for it to make noise at this time, but I’m rather glad it did, seeing as you were able to hear it. The antique dealer was right about you.’

  ‘Antique dealer?’

  ‘The man in the shop that yours is behind. He had a look at it but couldn’t find anything unusual. He said I ought to bring it to you. He mentioned that you often investigate things of a paranormal nature.’

  ‘There’s no antique dealer behind us,’ said Hamish. ‘There’s one at the Hanging Green, and one on Knot Corner, but there’s definitely none on the main street of the enclave. Anyway, the only business we’re behind is Ned’s.’

  The woman stared at Hamish. ‘He’s making that noise again. You really ought to get him some water.’

  I patted Hamish’s head. ‘You know where your bowl is, don’t you? Go on and take a drink like a good little doggy. And don’t strain your throat again.’

  He walked over to his bowl, glaring at me as he lapped up what looked like water, but what I knew to be his afternoon bowl of gin and tonic.

  ‘Isn’t that amazing?’ the woman enthused. ‘He seems to understand everything you say.’

  ‘Yes, he’s very clever. But his farts would gag a maggot. Now, I just need to know a few details. Your name and address, that sort of thing. For our records. And then you can fill me in a bit more about this mirror, and what you want us to do with it.’

  ‘I’m Gail O’Loughlin,’ she said. ‘Miss. Never been a missus – men are idiots, the lot of them. I live in Stoneybatter.’ As she listed off her house number and street address, I quickly scribbled them down. It was definitely a human area, but plenty of supernaturals chose to live outside of the witch-run enclaves. I needed to be sure.

  ‘Miss O’Loughlin, this mirror is definitely unusual,’ I said. ‘And I’d love to investigate it further. Is this em … is this your first brush with anything that might be considered paranormal?’

  ‘Well, of course it is!’ She looked highly offended. ‘Do I look like some sort of weirdo to you? I don’t believe in all that nonsense. Ghosts and faeries and whatnot.’

  ‘But … you hear the mirror screaming, don’t you?’

  She pulled at the collar of her blouse. ‘Yes, well … it must be some sort of trick. I thought maybe it was a circus mirror, or something owned by a magician. Or from a film set, maybe. But the antique shop owner disagreed. He said there’s no mechanical component whatsoever, and that I ought to come to you.’

  Hamish looked up from his gin and tonic. ‘You know, I’m beginning to get very curious about this man.’

  ‘He’s coughing again. Maybe his water is dusty.’

  I fixed a smile on my face. ‘I’ll freshen it up in a minute. Miss O’Loughlin, I’d love to examine the mirror, if that’s all right with you. I’ll keep it here for a little while and see if I can turn up anything.’

  She bit her lip and leaned forward. ‘If it is … you know … a little bit weird … will you be able to do anything about it? Maybe perform an exorcism or whatever it is you do? It’s a beautiful mirror, you see. I’d hate to have to smash it to pieces.’

  I glanced at Hamish, who gave a shrug.

  ‘Em … we’ll do our best,’ I said, growing aware of the time and standing up. ‘Leave it with us, Miss O’Loughlin. We’ll get in touch with you as soon as we know anything more.’

  9. Sexy Vampires and Lager Louts

  ‘She couldn’t hear you?’ I asked as soon as Gail left the building.

  Hamish didn’t look remotely surprised. ‘No, well … I did a spell a while back, you see. I made sure that anyone human can’t hear me. Not unless I do another spell to make it so. I once caused a human man to have a heart attack when I spoke to him, so I thought it for the best.’

  ‘Oh.’ I sank into my chair. ‘That’s … that’s really interesting.’ And really confusing, too. If I could hear him, then what did that make me? I mean, I was a witch hunter, for goodness sake. My family chased down the supernatural. We weren’t supernatural ourselves. Were we?

  I recalled Agent Müd telling me that years of use of supernatural objects had turned my father into a wizard. According to the agent, hunters were proving to be quite the unknown quantity. It seemed he was right, because I hadn’t been using supernatural objects for years, and yet I’d been able to hear Hamish speak on my very first day of meeting him.

  While I was mulling over this, Hamish moved to the latched shelf-door which led to Ned’s shop. He undid the latch and peeked through.

  I could see three customers in the shop, one of them talking quietly to Ned while the other two browsed. I could also see Cleo, lounging on a shelf and regarding me with one open eye.

  Hamish grinned back at me. ‘Well, we’re still in the same spot. It’s only the Other Door that’s an oddity.’

  ‘The Other Door? We’re naming it the Other Door? I like it.’

  ‘Good. And speaking of the Other Door – do not go out there until I get back. I know what you’re like – rushing into things without thinking. If you’re going to get lost in Narnia, I’d like to be with you.’

  ‘What? Where are you going? Don’t you want to find out who sent Gail our way?’

  ‘Of course I do. But maybe that’s exactly what someone nefarious wants us to do. We should play this cool, Katy.’

  Unfortunately, cool was a word that had never been used to describe me. Impetuous, yes. Rash, most definitely. But cool?

  ‘Anyway,’ he continued. ‘I told you that I have to go to Sol’s place before it closes. And I need to head to my storage unit as well – I have some equipment there that we can use to test the mirror for magical traces. I think making sure it isn’t going to harm us is a priority right now. Speaking of …’

  His hat-buckle lit up as he mumbled some words over the mirror. ‘Okay, I’ve sealed it, so it shouldn’t cause any problems while I’m gone. In the meantime, don’t you have paperwork to do?’

  I crossed my arms and scowled. ‘You’re no fun, do you know that?’

  ≈

  Hamish was right. I had a lot of paperwork to do before getting ready for the musical, but instead I found myself pacing the office, thinking about the Other Door, and why this mysterious antique shop owner had sent Gail O’Loughlin our way.

  My hunter instincts had pricked up when I was faced with the mirror, it was true. But when it came to discovering who owned the antique shop, I was nothing but curious.

  And curiosity did not kill Katys. It only killed cats. Right?

  With a deep breath, I pushed open the Other Door, and headed down yet another rabbit hole. I followed the route Gail had taken, rushing along the alleyway, finding myself peeping out onto the quays. When I got to the quays, I took a turn down onto Capel Street.

  I was very much in the human part of the city, that was for sure. Now, all I needed to do was find this antique store.

  I walked along until I arrived at a corner. On one side of the road there was a shop called Times of Yore, and on the other, a café called Let’s Go Round the Bend.

  This was a corner, though, that turned onto a road which only a witch (or someone who was lucky enough to be wearing privilege jewellery like my blue-stoned necklace) could see. I knew that without my necklace, it would look as though Times of Yore and Let’s Go Round the Bend were next-door neighbours. With my necklace, however, these two businesses stood on either side of the entrance to the enclave known as Eile Street.

  Although my PI business was on the other side of the city, I’d had to visit Eile Street a few times since learning of the supernatural world – mostly because Agent Müd lived in the enclave.

  I walked past Times of Yore, onto Eile Street, and saw that there was another entrance to the alley on this side. This, though, was an entrance that Gail wouldn’t have seen.

  I wandered back around to Times of Yore. I’d never paid much attention to it before. I knew supernaturals frequented the café on the other side of the road, but I hadn’t heard anything about the antique shop. On the door, it said, Jay Jones, Proprietor.

  I pushed, but the door was locked. There was an old-fashioned doorbell, and I pressed it, jumping back in shock as it played the tune to I’m Going Slightly Mad.

  As the door was pulled open, I stared at the man on the other side. He had shoulder-length fair hair and lovely blue eyes. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a white shirt, open at the neck. On his feet he wore sandals. Never before had I been attracted to a man wearing sandals, but this guy … this guy had an energy about him that I was instantly drawn towards.

  ‘So. You’re Katy Kramer,’ he said. ‘And you feel like you’re going slightly mad. Can’t say I blame you.’ He opened the door wide, ushering me into a chock-a-block antique shop.

  ‘How do you know who I am?’

  ‘Oh, you’ve been the subject of many a conversation lately. The girl with the auburn curls and the Disgruntled Admitaz.’ He nodded to my necklace. ‘You know, I have a long list of customers who’d pay a pretty penny for that.’

  ‘You’re a supernatural, then?’

  He gave me a friendly smile. ‘Yes. I’m a vampire. And you, Miss Kramer, are a mystery. I wonder what tune my doorbell will play next time you call – which I hope you will.’

  I sank into a wingback chair, and plumes of dust came off it, making me cough. ‘Your doorbell …?’

  ‘You’ve never met a psychic doorbell before? In that case, you’ve been making friends with all the wrong people.’ He laughed softly. ‘Lots of vampires have psychic doorbells. They play your favourite song – or the one currently foremost on your mind. I take it you’re here about Gail O’Loughlin.’

  ‘Yes, of course I am. Why did you send her to me?’

  ‘Well …’

  As he hesitated, another voice popped up. It was an English accent, and it was coming from … a lizard?

  I looked in shock at the lizard. ‘Tell her the truth,’ he said. ‘You’ve been eyeballing her every time she walks down Eile Street, and you’ve been thinking up excuses to meet her.’

  Jay rolled his eyes. ‘Meet Baz, my flatmate’s familiar.’

  ‘Ah.’ I grinned at the lizard. ‘Yet another familiar who goes out of their way to make themselves heard. Just can’t keep all that smartarsery inside in case you explode? Right?’

  The lizard laughed, then lay back under his sun lamp. ‘Yeah, I can see why you fancy her,’ he said.

  Jay gritted his teeth. ‘The other reason I sent Gail to you was because I don’t see magic. But I do pick up on things. And I’m picking up a lot of sorrow from that mirror. I feel like there’s a sad story there. And seeing as you’re the current queen of mystery, I figured you might be able to help.’

  It took me a moment to wrap my head around the part he hadn’t said. He’d made no effort to deny the lizard’s accusation. Did that mean he really fancied me, and had been looking for an excuse to meet me?

  But why would the most gorgeous vampire in the world want to meet me? Okay, so I hadn’t met a whole lot of vampires, but … I was fairly sure he was the hottest. He might even be more attractive than Cullen – which was an almighty relief, I can tell you. I was not happy that the most handsome man I’d met in my new life was also the most irritating. Now, finally, I’d met someone who was at least as good-looking and (so far) not at all annoying.

  ‘Yes, but … my office. I didn’t know it had a door that led to some alley at the back of your shop. I mean … I’m right on the other side of the city. It’s just …’

  ‘Slightly bonkers?’ He chuckled. ‘If it’s any consolation, I can assure you that the door’s been there quite a while. I believe the Púca who worked out of that space had it installed.’

  The Púca he mentioned was Guillermo Moriarty, Ned’s ex. Considering the masks he sold had caused the wearers to commit multiple murders, I wasn’t surprised that he might want to install an escape door – but I was surprised that he’d need one. Púca had incredibly powerful magic.

  ‘It’s less of a door, actually,’ Jay continued. ‘And more of a portal. I think it’s something he did so he wouldn’t leave any traceable magic behind whenever he used the portal. But … that’s just a guess. Púca magic is far beyond me.’

  ‘Well, all magic is beyond me,’ I admitted. ‘Including this mirror. Could you …’ I let my voice trail off, as my phone buzzed. ‘Sorry. I’m in the middle of a murder investigation, so I have to check this.’

  I turned away from him and checked my phone. I picked up the screen, and saw that it said:

  You have a match on AIL. Would you like to check them out?

  ‘AIL?’ I frowned, fiddling about with my screen. Before I could figure out what was going on, a large man appeared on the screen. He was wearing a white vest and underpants, and swigging from a can of lager. With a large burp, his eyes widened and he said, ‘Oh wow. You accepted my nudge. I mean, I figured you might be desperate, what with you being a ginger and all, but that was really quick.’

  I stared in horror at the creature on my screen. A ravenous hellhound would be more attractive to me than this guy.

  ‘I have no idea who you are or what you’re doing on my screen,’ I said.

  ‘Aw, come on. Are you getting moody because I called you a ginger? I mean, now that I see your hair, it’s actually nearly brown, isn’t it? You should change your profile from auburn, you know, because when I read auburn, I imagine a right ginger minger, but your hair’s not that bad. A bit curly, mind you.’ He guffawed (he did, I swear). ‘Do you em … do you want to send me a little piccy?’

  With a shiver of revulsion, I turned off my phone, then desperately flicked through my apps. Sure enough, there was one I most definitely didn’t download myself, called AIL.

  ‘That was interesting.’

  I turned at the sound of Jay’s voice. ‘Fluff! I forgot you were there. I’m not on a dating service. I have no idea how that man wound up contacting me.’

  He smiled in a way that made my legs turn to jelly. ‘Someone’s idea of a joke no doubt. Anyone with eyes in their head can see that you can do much better than some uncouth lager lout.’

  Gulp. I should not find a guy using the word ‘uncouth’ so arousing. But then again, I wasn’t sure there was very much he could do or say to make him less attractive.

  As I stared at him, my phone began to ring. This time, it was hard to tear my eyes away from Jay and drag them to the screen. Reluctantly though, I managed it, groaning inwardly when I saw who was calling. It was Uncle Faster.

  Killing the call, I said, ‘I think I might know who played the joke, actually. So I’d better head off now. You know, so I can kill him slowly, in cruel and unusual ways.’

  His smile widened and he laughed deeply, leading me back to the door. ‘I’m glad you called around, Katy. Would you em … would you like to go out to dinner sometime? You know, so you can keep me updated on the mysterious mirror. I’m very curious about it.’

  I looked up at him. He was truly gorgeous, there was no doubt about that. And his hair was ever so shiny. But life was a little bit hectic at the moment. Could I even find the time for coffee with him, let alone dinner?