I scooped a spoonful of my tear soup and slurped a bite. Faith and Melissa looked at each other.

  “Say what now?” Melissa looked at me sideways. “Kira Covington is back from her European cougar fling?”

  I nodded. Melissa certainly had a way with words. She groaned and flopped into the kitchen chair; her elbow jauntily thrown over the back. “What difference does that make? She left almost a year ago now. She can’t just come back and take what’s yours.”

  That’s where Melissa was wrong.

  I took another bite of soup. It tasted terrible and I could feel my hands puffing up from the sodium, but it seemed to be giving me the energy to function at a very basic level.

  “Kira is pregnant.”

  Melissa hooted. “You’ve got to be kidding me. And she expects to get back together with Coach. The woman is delusional.”

  She slapped my thigh. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  I picked up the bowl and drank directly from it. When I set it down, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

  “The baby is Dean’s.”

  Twenty-Three

  Dean

  “She’s not answering her phone.” I set my phone down on Andy’s kitchen table.

  “Try it again,” Andy ordered.

  I dialed. “Straight to voicemail. Either she’s avoiding me, or her phone is off.”

  Andy picked up his phone. “Let me try.”

  The fire crackled in the background as we listened to the sound of Amber’s phone ringing and ringing. She was avoiding my calls and not answering Andy’s.

  “How can the baby be yours?” Andy asked.

  I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “I’ve been asking myself that question all day long. We had sex once. One time in the last two years.”

  Andy rolled his eyes. “Your ex was banging a twenty-five-year-old hockey player in Europe for the past nine months. Dude, that baby isn’t yours.”

  “I have my doubts, but the timing. I mean, it could be. But, she doesn’t want to risk the baby by doing a paternity test this late in her pregnancy. And, I guess I have to respect that. Even though I don’t want to.”

  Andy grabbed a couple of beers from his fridge and handed one to me. I pushed it away. I’m fine.

  He pushed it back to me. “I think you might need it.” He was right. After Amber left, Kira had set down her bag and tried to hug me as if nothing had happened.

  “Where is Kira now?” Andy asked.

  “At a hotel.” I popped off the cap and took a sip of the beer. Andy was right, I did need it. “She wanted to take Chloe to her skating practice, but I wouldn’t let her.”

  “Poor Chloe.” Andy shook his head. “That Kira is a psycho.”

  I took another sip of beer. “Everything was perfect. Now…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. “I have to talk to Amber.” I knocked the table with my legs as I stood up and the bottles wobbled but didn’t fall.

  “What are you going say?” Andy asked. “Amber is a cool woman, she’s the perfect woman for you, actually.”

  He was right. Amber was the perfect woman for me.

  “But…” he drew it out. “I don’t know how any woman would want to be with all the drama that comes with you.”

  “Thanks,” I muttered, but I knew he was right.

  We drank in silence. The only sound in Andy’s cabin was the crackle of the fireplace and the classical guitar music Andy always seemed to have on in the background.

  I pushed the beer away from me. I needed a clear head. “I have to find Amber. I have to talk to her.”

  Andy turned his palms up in exasperation. “She obviously doesn’t want to be found.”

  I strode to the doorway. “It’s a small town. She’s driving my vehicle. Do I have to look for her on my own?”

  Andy chugged the rest of his beer and then finished mine. “Fine. But you’re driving.”

  Hours later we had lapped Butternut Street three times, but there was no sign that anyone had been at Amber’s house. The parking lots of all the hotels had been scoured, the downtown streets of Laketown had been cruised. We had even driven out to Pine Hill to see if she was still at her photoshoot.

  “Where could she be?”

  “Think like a woman,” Andy laughed. I knew that he was trying to make a traumatic situation funny, but it wasn’t working. “Who’s her best friend?”

  Me. I wanted to say. “She’s close with Faith, her assistant, and that’s really all.”

  “Let’s check the design place then. I know where that is,” Andy suggested, but when we pulled into the parking lot of Mel D. Designs the place was locked up tight.

  “I don’t know where Faith lives.” I put my head on the steering wheel.

  “Are you talking about Leo’s Faith?” Andy asked.

  I thought about it for a minute. “Yes, I have seen Leo and Faith together.” I knew what Andy was thinking and I pulled out my phone and called my star right-winger.

  Armed with an address, we headed to the other side of town. Unless -- my stomach sank -- she had high-tailed it the hell out of Laketown.

  And, truthfully, I wouldn’t have blamed her.

  Twenty-Four

  Amber

  “What day is it?” I asked Melissa as I padded into her kitchen. I was wearing a pair of Faith’s sweatpants and one of her college t-shirts.

  “Shower day,” Melissa replied. She put a cup of coffee on the table in front of me. “I can only keep him away for so long.”

  My phone had been off for days, I think it had been three, and Dean had stopped by Melissa’s house twice a day, for the past three-ish days. I think. They were all starting to melt into one.

  Faith and I had accepted the Yates’ Christmas job. It was a total last-minute gig but provided there weren’t any major snowstorms, all of the orders I’d placed from the comfort of Mel D’s table would arrive with a week to spare. I promised Faith that I’d be ready to function when it came time to execute the design.

  Melissa had kind eyes, but I knew that the tough love was coming. “Thank you for keeping him away. I’m just not ready to talk to him yet.”

  Faith walked into the kitchen. “The man tracked you down, has been coming here every day, so what if his ex is having his baby? He clearly loves you.”

  “Honey. This is one complicated situation. Let Amber work it out.” Melissa shoved a coaster at me, and I slipped it under my coffee mug.

  “You didn’t see the way Chloe got so excited.” The way I’d so quickly returned to being ‘the neighbor’ to Chloe had replayed on a continuous loop.

  Faith rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t mean that Coach is excited.”

  Melissa poured a cup of coffee into a travel mug. “I’m heading to the post office. You two and your orders of very fragile Christmas balls have made Mel D. Seasonal Designs a very unpopular name at the mail service.

  “Bye, Mom.” Faith waved, ignoring her comment. “Thanks for doing the pickup run.”

  “What are you up to today?” I had opened my laptop and was checking the tracking numbers on the thousands of twinkle lights I had ordered.

  “I’m going back out to the Yates compound to take some more measurements.”

  Faith sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and pulled her big baggy sweatshirt over her knees. “Amber, I know you’re upset, but I really don’t get the big deal.”

  I knew that she wouldn’t. And I wasn’t ready to discuss my lack of fertility with a woman whose biological clock had not yet started ticking.

  “I’ll be in my room.” I shuffled into the guest room; my laptop cradled in my arm. Melissa had been kind enough to let me stay at her house as long as I needed to. Although after this morning, I think she was dropping hints that it was time to go back to my own house. I just couldn’t stomach pulling into my driveway and seeing that black-haired devil woman.

  “Wait,” Faith shouted. “The delivery van is here; I need some help.”

  I sighed. “Give me a second.” The laptop was tossed on my bed and I shoved my feet into my winter boots. The mirror in the spare room reflected someone I didn’t recognize. My hair was a matted mess, I was obviously bra-less, and the sweatpants were bunched up at the top of the boots like hammer pants. And I didn’t care.

  “Coming,” I shouted and jogged to the front door.

  Faith opened it and I froze by the kitchen table. It was not the UPS driver.

  I shot Faith the dirtiest look I could muster. It was too late to turn back or hide, and Melissa wasn’t here to send him away.

  Dean was at the door. And I looked homeless.

  “I’ll leave you two alone.” Faith didn’t look back as she left the house.

  Dean literally had his hat in his hands. “Can we talk?” His voice sounded low and weak.

  I nodded and pointed to the table. Dean took a seat.

  “Would you like a cup of coffee?” I held up the pot.

  “Sure. I mean if you’re having one.”

  Two cups of steaming coffee sat on the table between us, but neither of us moved to drink them.

  “I’ve come by every day. Melissa said you’ve been working hard. She wouldn’t tell me where.”

  I nodded. “I have been working hard.” I didn’t tell him it had been from under the covers in my boss’s spare bedroom.

  “Kent Fitzgerald loves the Christmas decorations. I heard that you’re going to be in magazines.”

  “Dean.” I picked at the skin beside one of my nails with chipped polish. “Your ex is having your baby. Why don’t we cut the crap and get to the point.”

  He looked like he’d been slapped. “Amber. I don’t want to be with her. I want to be with you.”

  My heart hurt. “I want to be with you too, Dean. It’s just… I mean...” I was floundering. “It’s a lot.”

  “I know.” He looked down at the table as though studying the grain in the wood.

  “Do you know that it’s yours for sure?” I asked.

  He reached for the coffee mug and that’s when I noticed that his hand was shaking. “Kira says it is. The timing makes sense.”

  I didn’t want to cry and wiped angrily at the tears that managed to squeak out. “But you don’t know for sure.”

  “I don’t,” Dean said. “But if it is mine, it’s my duty to take care of it. I mean, him or her. I was thinking that maybe you might want that too.”

  The anger morphed into rage and I wanted to throw my mug at the wall. “Why don’t you get a paternity test, Dean?”

  He sighed. “She’s refusing. She says it’s not necessary and that it could hurt the baby..”

  I stood up so quickly the chair clattered to the floor behind me. “Get out.” I pointed to the door.

  He didn’t move.

  “Dean. I said—”

  “I heard you.” He met my eyes. “Amber, I love you. You have to know that I don’t want any of this to be happening to us.”

  “Me neither,” I shouted. “But you stuck your dick into your ex nine months ago and here we are.”

  The language coming out of my mouth surprised me. “And you have the nerve to come here, to ask me if I will raise your ex’s baby with you when you know I can’t have one of my own.”

  “I—” he tried to interject.

  “Hold on.” I held up my index finger. “And you don’t even have the balls to ask her to prove that it’s yours?” I pointed to the door again. “Get the hell out and don’t you ever come back.”

  Twenty-Five

  Amber

  Faith waited in Mel D’s pickup truck while I ran into the coffee shop to pick up our morning fix. Silent Night, the saddest of all the Christmas carols, in my opinion, was playing in the background.

  But the sound of plates clinking, the screeching of the milk frother, and just seeing people in general, was comforting after my week-long pity party. A poster for the Otters’ New Year’s Eve game hung in the window, and at least three people in the steamy coffee shop were wearing Otters’ paraphernalia.

  I couldn’t get away from it.

  The box of the pickup was piled high with cedar boughs. One of Mel D’s contractor friends had cleared a bush lot for a new house, and all the gorgeous cedar trees were up for grabs. We had taken them all. I set Faith’s caramel salted macchiato in the cupholder and blew on my black Americano.

  “I can’t get away from him,” I mused as two middle-aged men walked by the truck wearing Otters’ hats.

  “This town is hockey obsessed.” Faith gave a grim shrug. “Wait, not hockey obsessed.” She snickered to herself and then leaned to elbow me. “Ooooootterly obsessed.”

  “Oh, Faith. That’s bad. Even for you.” I shook my head, but couldn’t help but chuckle at the bad pun.

  “If you’re going to stay in Laketown…” she held up her index finger. “And you’d damn well better be staying here. You’re going to have to face the fact that it’s a small town. You’re going to see him. When you least expect it. The grocery store, the dentist, the park…”

  “Is this your way of telling me it’s time to go home?” Mel D’s log house was huge, and with Faith home for her co-op term, it felt like I was back in University, living with girlfriends. I was in no rush to go home to Butternut Street and see Dean pushing a stroller.

  “Mom and I talked about it.” Faith pulled the truck onto the road and headed towards Yates Drive. “You are welcome to stay as long as you’d like. We’d love to have you at our house for Christmas. Unless you’re heading out of town to your sister’s house.”

  It had been one of my fight or flight plans. Hop on a plane to California and spend the holidays with my older sister Caroline, or head back to Florida and visit my super-bitch of a mom. But Caroline was heading to Hawaii for the holidays with her husband’s family, and my mother and I get along for a maximum of about five minutes.

  Faith looked like the Cheshire cat. “I shouldn’t say anything, but my mom already bought you a stocking.”

  Mel D was a little rough on the outside, but I’d never met someone with such a warm heart.

  “I guess it’s settled then.” I held onto my travel mug as Faith slowed for a giant pothole on the back road. “Unless that stocking already has coal in it.”

  The Yates cottage made Pine Hill look like a shack. The ‘cottage’ was thirty thousand square feet; the master bedroom’s closet was bigger than the entire second floor of my house. This was day three of the install and I felt like we had barely scratched the surface. We had two more days before the family arrived and if we kept going, we could get it done. The project had saved me. All I wanted to do was wallow in bed, but the hard and fast deadline of the arrival of the Yates’ forced me to get dressed – and even showered.

  Working was good. Working kept my hands and my mind occupied. Most of the time. As I wrapped the twinkle lights around the cedar boughs above the palatial fireplace in the Yates’ Bunkie my mind kept wondering the strangest things.

  We decided to keep working long after dark, and we managed to get most of the decorating completed. It would require some final touches, but it was good for us to learn how long the various tasks took us to complete. We needed to learn how to manage our schedule for next Christmas, which was already starting to book up.

  “Are you hungry?” Faith asked.

  We had packed up the truck and were heading back into the Laketown. My stomach growled. I hadn’t been eating much over the past few days, and I still didn’t feel hungry, but my stomach clearly had another thing to say about that.

  “I think so,” I replied. “But I’m not sure what I’m craving.”

  “I have a dirty little secret.” Faith stopped at the only stoplight in Laketown.

  “Really?” I was expecting to hear something about Leo. For two people who were supposedly best friends, they seemed more comfortable in the frenemy territory.

  Faith nodded and turned into the Fitzgerald Arena parking lot. “What are we doing here?” I eyed the parking lot, looking for a certain blue Jeep.

  “My dirty secret.” Faith hopped out of the car. “I’ll be right back.” She slammed the door and ran into the arena.

  With no sign of Dean’s Jeep, I relaxed into the seat, shutting my eyes and resting my head back. I was jolted back to reality when Faith returned to the truck. Her hands were full and she knocked at the door with her foot. I reached over and opened it.

  “Thanks.” She handed me a cardboard tray piled high with arena nachos.

  “This?” I pointed to the nuclear orange pump cheese. “This is your dirty secret?”

  Faith popped a nacho chip in her mouth. She closed her eyes and danced in her seat. “Mmmmmm. Sometimes I can’t help it.” She set her tray on her lap and as she started to drive away, I saw a familiar skate bag amongst a group of kids leaving the arena.

  I had been considering eating Faith’s dirty secret, but as soon as I saw Chloe, my stomach clenched. My appetite was gone.

  “Faith, can you stop?”

  I rolled down the window as Faith put the truck into park. “Chloe.” I smiled as I caught her eye.

  “Amber,” she grinned and ran to the truck. I wanted to get out and hug her, but somehow that didn’t seem appropriate or fair to do to her.

  “How was your test day?” In the heat of the worst day of my life, I had forgotten that it had been a very important day for Chloe.

  “I passed.” Excitement shone in her eyes.

  “Congratulations, sweethea…” I caught myself. “Congratulations, Chloe. You must be so proud of yourself.”

  “It was a lot of work, but I put the time in, and that’s the most important part… time.”

  I laughed. That was Dean speaking through his daughter. That quote could’ve come out of the mouth of any hockey player giving his post-game interview.

  “It was nice to see you, Chloe.” I wanted to ask her about her next level, the gold dances. Breaking up with Dean was hard enough, breaking up with his daughter was a different kind of agony.