Before he closes the door, he stops and stares at me for a moment with a small amount of disbelief in his eyes. When his gaze drifts down my body, though, his expression turns dark and heavy with fury. He closes the door without a word.

  His reaction hits me harder than it should, causing an aching pain deep within my chest. I can barely hold in the scream that wants to escape me, pained by how much I hate myself for what I did. I know Silas isn’t angry with me. His animosity and rage are directed solely toward Xavier and his men for taking us hostage in our own home and forcing this horrific nightmare upon us.

  That doesn’t make me hate myself any less, though. I could have chosen another way to distract Xavier. I could have waited, thought all of this through, and planned his demise better, but instead I rushed it and chose a path that could impact the rest of our lives if my defective womb suddenly decides to cooperate with my desire to have a baby.

  I shiver at the thought of Xavier’s seed possibly working to create life within me at the same moment that Silas opens the door at the driver’s side. He tosses two rifles in between the front seats before climbing in and getting settled behind the wheel. I feel weight entering the bed of the truck before turning around to confirm that Joseph and Jake have jumped inside, ready for battle with rifles slung over their shoulders.

  Silas’ eyes narrow with focus as he fishes through two sets of keys in his hands to find the right one for this truck. Once he locates it, he slides it into the ignition and cranks the engine.

  After throwing the truck into gear, he accelerates faster than he should, causing an audible thump behind us in the truck bed. I turn around, fearing that Joseph or Jake has fallen out of the back onto the driveway in Silas’ haste. They are both still there, though holding on to the side of the truck bed for dear life now as Silas accelerates up the driveway even faster.

  “Silas,” I say softly, my voice laced with panic.

  He turns to me with fiery determination in his eyes. After quickly gauging my expression, he returns his attention forward to the twisting driveway but continues driving just as rapidly. I’m about to reach my hand out to him, to bring him back down from his height of pain and anger through my touch, but he finally lets up on the gas and decelerates the truck until we’re moving at a more reasonable speed.

  When the upper half of the house finally comes into view, anxiety surges through me. It’s hard to look at the windows to the second floor and not think of the grisly scene hidden behind them. The memories of what happened within those walls, out on the patio, and down by the pond are all so vivid in my mind. They are Xavier’s method of tormenting me even after his death.

  They will haunt me for the rest of my life.

  Silas stops the truck at the last bend in the driveway, leaving some distance between us and the house. He cuts the engine, enveloping us both in the thick silence of the cab for just a moment before he gathers the two rifles from between the front seats. I expect him to hand me one of the weapons, but instead, he avoids my gaze and quickly opens his door to jump outside.

  Even after we’re all out of the truck and ready to move, Silas still doesn’t hand me a rifle. I feel naked without one as we quietly run through the woods up to the clearing just before the tall wooden fence.

  In the moment it takes me to realize that we don’t have an easy way in, Joseph and Jake have already readied themselves to propel Silas to the top of the fence. They push him up by his feet and legs while his hands scale up the side of the fence until he’s high enough to throw his leg up over the top and balance his body there.

  I watch him quickly scan the area between us and the house before his head turns back and his eyes settle on mine. A flash of renewed determination crosses his face in the moment of our connection, and without a word, he drops down out of sight on the other side of the fence.

  “Silas!” Joseph whispers with urgency through the fence. “You were supposed to help pull us over.”

  “Stay here,” Silas replies in a low voice. “I’ve got this.”

  Joseph and Jake share a concerned glance as Silas’ rapid steps fade away from us to press forward in the battle on his own.

  “I’ll lift you,” Jake suddenly says to Joseph at the same time that he bends down with his palms open and fingers intertwined to create a stepping point.

  Joseph appears unsure what to do for a moment, but finally places his foot on Jake’s hands. He is about to press up to the fence, but something stops him.

  We all turn in the direction of the garage when the first gunshot is fired. A rapid succession of shots follows amidst the sounds of men yelling and more shots being fired from the backyard. The seconds tick by like hours as I listen in shock to the gun battle taking place somewhere on the other side of the fence.

  After a few minutes, it’s all over. The last echoes of gunfire fade away into the forest. I hear nothing beyond the rapid thumping of my heart within my chest.

  I look between Joseph and Jake, their eyes just as wide as mine as we listen carefully to the silence, desperately waiting for the next sound to fill it.

  I suck in a breath when the driveway gate begins to open. Jake dashes over to me, pulling me with him the short distance across the clearing until we’re safely behind a large tree. Joseph runs in behind us, positioning himself with his rifle trained toward the driveway gate just around the side of the tree trunk.

  His hardened features suddenly soften, and when he relaxes his shoulders and lowers his rifle, I know that the threat has passed.

  I know who opened the driveway gate.

  I know that we have our home back.

  “Silas,” I whisper to myself to prevent the sob from wanting to escape me when I emerge from behind the tree and see him slowly walking out of the opening at the gate. His skin is still covered in dirt, but there’s no fresh blood. He appears to be in one piece.

  My feet carry me quickly across the grass and into Silas’ waiting arms. While I’m reacquainting my body with his again, I hear two sets of footsteps run up behind us.

  “They’re all dead?” Joseph asks hurriedly. “Do we need to sweep the property? How do you—”

  “I got them,” Silas replies definitively, “every last one of them.”

  Joseph still appears skeptical. “You’re sure?”

  Silas pulls back to look down at me, gauging my face which is fixed in a broad smile. He demands my gaze as he says, “I memorized each of their faces. I know exactly how many men there were who tried to take everything from us.” He stops talking for a moment, but continues staring at me. “They’re all dead.”

  A sigh of relief releases next to us, though I’m not sure who it’s from. I’m too caught up in loving Silas with my eyes right now. I’m too busy learning what it’s like to be free again as the pieces of the reality that existed before Xavier’s arrival start to fall back into place.

  23

  It takes me a moment to determine where I am. Not just my physical location within the house, but also my state of being. Am I safe? Will eager fingers slither their way up my thighs to violate me? Am I awakening to find myself still bound by the invisible ropes that Xavier wound tightly all around my body and mind?

  When I first open my eyes and see Jake sitting in the armchair across from my position lying on the couch, I panic at the thought that I’ve just been dreaming and that Xavier is still somewhere in the house.

  “Relax,” Jake says calmly as he leans forward with his elbows on his knees. “Everything’s fine.”

  I breathe out a sigh of relief and settle back against the couch, letting it envelop and comfort me while I get my bearings. “We’re all here,” I say with just the slightest bit of uncertainty in my words. “I wasn’t just dreaming.”

  When Jake’s expression turns uneasy, I shoot up to a sitting position, my heart rate spiking as I experience sharp fear, afraid that my newfound happiness—the result of getting my family and my home back—might have been short lived.

  Jake sees my terror and immediately moves out of the chair and around the coffee table, kneeling down next to the couch so he can grab my shoulder. “We’re fine. Everyone’s fine. At least they should be.”

  His words fail to calm my soaring panic as I demand, “What the hell does that mean?”

  Jake starts to speak, making only the slightest sound of speech before his words fail him. He closes his eyes and glances away for just a moment before returning them to meet my gaze. “Silas isn’t here. He took the motorcycle out at dawn.”

  Nothing Jake says is making any sense. No matter how deeply asleep I was, I would have heard the roar of the motorcycle coming to life. “How did he not wake me up? I would have heard—”

  “He walked it down the driveway toward the road. He didn’t want to wake you.”

  “Why the fuck not?” I burst out in fury before realizing that Jake doesn’t deserve my ire.

  Silas does.

  I clear my throat and give Jake an apologetic glance. “What I mean to say is why did he leave without telling me? Where is he going?”

  Jake’s hand leaves my shoulder to find my bandaged left hand instead. He takes it gently between both of his hands, being careful not to disturb the gauze wrapped around my sore palm. “He’s looking for something. Something for you.”

  When Jake’s eyes lift from my hand up to my face and I see the full extent of his worry and pity, I instantly understand what this is about. Silas wants me to take a morning-after pill.

  My entire body shudders as my thoughts inevitably focus on my drastic measures to distract Xavier enough to take his life. “Silas is worried that I’m going to get pregnant,” I whisper before realizing just how unwarranted his worry really is. “We already know that I can’t have children, though. Why is he risking his life for this?”

  “The chance is small, but there’s still a chance,” Jake replies. “It’s a chance he’s not willing to take.”

  My throat clenches at Jake’s words. As much as I want to believe that it’s impossible for Xavier’s seed to impregnate me, I know that there’s still a chance.

  As much as I want a child, I don’t want to have Xavier’s child.

  I can’t even fathom it.

  Suddenly I feel sickened with myself, knowing that there are pieces of Xavier still inside me from yesterday. My free hand finds my lower abdomen, and when I glance down and remember all of the times that I imagined Silas’ baby growing inside me, fury ignites within me. My hand tightens into a fist, and I feel the sudden need to punch myself there to damage whatever fertile ground is left within my womb.

  “Hey,” Jake says with the slightest bit of demand lacing his otherwise calming tone. “He has to try. If he doesn’t, he’ll never forgive himself if—”

  My eyes dart to Jake’s, commanding him not to finish that sentence. He thinks better of it and closes his mouth before stepping back to sit in the nearby chair again.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologize immediately, letting my expression soften as I realize just how much I’m using Jake as my emotional punching bag right now when he’s only trying to help me understand. “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

  Jake look uneasy as he replies, “He said he’d be gone for as long as it takes.”

  His words do nothing to relieve my worry. All I can do is nod and hope that Silas will come back to me unharmed.

  I’m both comforted and terrified by the thought that he can’t be gone for that long. An imaginary timer started yesterday when I took Xavier’s release inside me. Whether Silas finds the pill he’s looking for out there or not, the chances of it giving him the peace of mind he needs decreases the longer it takes for him to find the pill and get it back to me.

  24

  I swing open the door of the tall freestanding cabinet in the kitchen, nearly smacking Joseph in the face with it in how close he is to me. My near-accidental physical retaliation has done nothing to stop his tirade, though.

  “You cannot leave this property,” he commands through clenched teeth. “Silas would never allow it.”

  “Well, he’s not here, is he?” I fire back while reviewing the pitiful remnants of our non-perishable food supply to select some kind of nourishment to bring with me that isn’t a fruit or vegetable. I settle on a protein bar tucked away on the back of a shelf and shove it in my pocket before slamming the cabinet door shut to face Joseph. “If you and Jake aren’t willing to go look for him, then I have no choice but to go by myself.”

  Joseph lets out a frustrated sigh. “It’s not that simple.”

  “It is,” I reply immediately, my voice wavering even in just those two short words from the thickness building in my throat. “It’s been three days since he left.” My throat tightens with my building emotions, and I can no longer speak. It takes a few breaths before I pull myself together enough to continue. “I just barely got him back. I can’t lose him all over again.”

  “I know,” Joseph replies softly. “But Silas can take care of himself. He’ll come back us. You just need to give him time.”

  I shake my head vehemently. “He’s had enough time. Too much time.” I can feel the burning tears building around my eyes even before I look down the length of my body to the parts of me that could be working to betray me at this moment. “It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. He just needs to come back to me.”

  A reluctant look of understanding forms on Joseph’s face. He steps forward and pulls me to his chest before I have the chance to move away.

  “He’ll be fine,” he assures me. “You’ll both be fine no matter what happens.”

  I resist Joseph’s attempt to comfort me at first, but I quickly give in to it, no longer able to bear this pain alone. My silent trickle of tears develops into an overwhelming gush of sobs. Joseph holds me and keeps me standing while I let the rush of emotion and pain flow out of me. Even when it’s over and I have no tears left to cry, he continues to hold me steady.

  The sound of the front door opening startles me, prompting me to pull away from Joseph. I step over toward the doorway to the dining room to see who has just come inside, and suddenly my eyes are flooded with tears again.

  Silas is standing there, looking dirty and exhausted but all in one piece. Jake is a few steps behind him with a relieved smile on his face.

  I’m in Silas’ arms before he can make it two steps farther into the house. I grip his back and cry against his shoulder with all of my happy tears this time.

  “I didn’t hear the motorcycle,” I finally manage to say through my tears.

  “Ran out of gas,” Jake says from behind Silas. “I saw him walking it up the driveway.”

  Silas doesn’t acknowledge what Jake says. He seems like he’s in his own world, holding me and comforting me with his love and support, but then something changes. He releases me only long enough to scoop me up in his arms and carry me with him down the hallway toward Joseph and Jake’s room.

  “What are you doing?” I ask with a hint of humor that is not reciprocated at all by the serious look on Silas’ face.

  “Shower,” he replies definitively as we move into the bathroom.

  He carefully sets me down on the counter of the vanity before turning on the light and shutting the door behind him.

  I open my mouth to speak, but my lips are met with Silas’ lips instead. He closes his mouth over mine and begins to devour me while settling his body between my legs. Our kissing is abruptly stopped by Silas pulling my shirt and bra over my head in one quick sweep of his hands up my torso.

  His mouth is on my breast now. His tongue finds my nipple and hardens it more with each flick across the sensitive skin. The tenderness with which he’s caressing my back and teasing my breast develops into unstoppable primal hunger, and soon my jeans and underwear are ripped off of me and he’s kneeling down between my open legs, devouring me at my core.

  I gasp out involuntarily with each movement of his tongue up the length of my pussy and over my clit. When he focuses his full attention on that most sensitive part of me, it takes all of the self-control that I have to prevent my orgasm, because I’m not ready to give in to it yet. I want to keep floating just on the edge of it with Silas’ warm tongue massaging me and tasting me like this.

  When Silas’ fingers enter me, though, I begin to lose the battle I’ve been waging against my body. He moves his fingers deep within me while continuing to pleasure me with his lips and tongue until I can’t hold back any longer. I cry out and come taut around his fingers, letting the warmth and overwhelming pleasure consume my entire body while he continues to feel me and lick me.

  I’m still coming down from the height of my orgasm while Silas slowly kisses his way up my stomach and chest until he is standing up and pressing his lips to mine again. I taste myself as our tongues intertwine. Just as before, though, the kissing ends with a shirt being removed—Silas’ this time—and the rest of his clothes quickly follow.

  He steps away from me only long enough to turn on the shower, giving me a brief but breathtaking look at his bare backside before he turns back toward me again. I hardly notice the dirt and grime painted across parts of his body when all I can focus on is his thick cock fully erect and pointing at me, inviting me to play.

  “I should have done this that night,” he whispers guiltily as he places his body between my open legs again and guides his hardened cock to my opening. “I couldn’t, though. I knew there were parts of him still inside you.”

  He pushes into me, his cock sliding perfectly inside until we’re fully connected. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my bare chest against his while he rocks himself back and forth inside me.

  “I thought I could find another way to fix this,” he says unsteadily, “but I failed you.”

  His soft movements inside me begin to deepen, and I can feel him becoming more desperate by the second. He grabs my ass and lifts me off of the counter, carrying me with him into the shower while we remain connected.