The last time I had seen her, she had been holding hands with a tall guy who was speaking Spanish because he was talking about the night before when they had been making out in the stockroom of her parents’ store and her younger brother caught them. The guy had tossed Ezmita’s bra over the boxes to hide it from her brother and they still hadn’t found it.

  Ezmita had been laughing up at him so hard that she was wiping tears from her eyes. Until she had turned and our eyes met. Her laugh faded, and then she had just smiled. She had greeted me and asked how I had been. Small talk that people who once knew each other did before going their own way again. She hadn’t known I was fluent in Spanish and I’d understood every word of their conversation. Nor did she know that my chest had felt as if someone had fucking kicked it. I drank a six-pack of beer by myself at the field that night.

  There was no sign of the guy with her now. I had returned to this town for closure. Ezmita was the biggest part of that closure. I needed to be able to put my past firmly behind me in this town so that I could decide which job to take with a clear head. Reaching for my wallet and the key card to the room, I headed for the door.

  Once I was outside the front of the hotel, I scanned the parking lot for Gran Lee’s Buick and found it pulling out onto the road. I turned my attention back to the parking area and found Ezmita just as she was about to walk back inside the grocery store side of the Stop and Shop. Someone called her name, and she paused and looked back to wave. It was then her gaze moved and she saw me walking across the road and in her direction.

  The bright sun made it difficult to see her expression so I could gauge how this was about to go, but I knew Ezmita well enough to know she’d wait for me to reach her. I saw her move toward me then, and as I walked under the shade of the awning I was able to see her smile. That damn smile still did things to me.

  “Asa Griffith,” she said, looking happy to see me. “I didn’t expect you to be in town, but then again, I didn’t know about the field dedication. Mrs. Lee just told me about it. She’s so proud of it and what the boys are doing. It sounds amazing.”

  Her voice was the same. She was the same. Just older and more appealing. Which wasn’t fair. God could have helped me out and let her age badly. Although my feelings for Ezmita went far beyond her appearance. It had been much deeper than that.

  “Yeah, it’s gonna be great,” I said realizing how much of an understatement that was. “I’m here for the dedication, and I’m doing two of the camps in July,” I added then.

  She still had to tilt her head back to look up at me. I always loved the way she did that. “You were the first one I thought of when Mrs. Lee told me who would be doing the coaching. I was hoping I would run into you. It’s been a couple years.”

  “Two,” I replied too quickly.

  Her smile, however, widened. “Yeah, I guess it has been. Time goes so fast now, doesn’t it? I mean compared to when we were younger. I feel like I blinked and college was over.”

  I nodded once. “Yeah, I know the feeling. Are you back here for a while, or do you live in Nashville now?”

  Her smile fell a little, and she didn’t have a quick response. I wondered if there was something important I was supposed to know. Had someone died and Nash not told me? Damn, I hope I didn’t ask the wrong thing.

  “Right now, I honestly don’t know,” she finally said.

  I let out a small relieved laugh. “You sound like me,” I replied.

  For a moment, five years hadn’t passed. We were still the same two people we had been that summer before college began. We had the world before us and so many plans, so many dreams. Then the door to the store opened and Mrs. Ramos called out, “Ezmita! I need you to get back to the register.”

  She glanced back at her mother and nodded. “Yes, Momma. Coming.” Then she turned back to me. “I better get back in there. It was good seeing you, Asa. Take care,” and she walked inside with one last wave. The illusion was gone.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  EZMITA

  Weren’t people supposed to stop growing when they hit puberty? Wasn’t that how it worked? Because holy crap, Asa was massive. He had not looked like that the last time I saw him. Just two years ago, he had been broader, maybe taller, but he had not been the huge brick wall that he was now. The very wide, muscular, towering, gorgeous, brick wall… ugh! I shook my head at my thoughts.

  I had told myself I would not think about Asa that way. Although it was hard not to think about him being gorgeous when he was absolutely just that. He was this big, huge man now, and crawling up that brick wall sounded way too appealing. STOP IT! I scolded myself.

  Asa was a former SEC football player. I had been surprised when he didn’t go into the NFL draft, as had been my brothers. Everyone in town had expected him to. He had settled on a career instead. I wondered if he had been hurt or if it was because of a girl. There had to be a female. A guy did not look like that and remain single.

  Tall, leggy models with long flowing hair and tiny waists that turned heads everywhere they went were what you found on the arms of a guy like Asa Griffith. There had to be one somewhere around here that belonged to him.

  I had made the right decision five years ago. I was not the kind of female that dated guys like Asa. Nothing about me was supermodel material. We were grown now, and the teenage years were over. All just fond memories to cherish.

  I shoved all thoughts of Asa aside and focused on talking to the customers as I rang up their groceries and bagged them. There were very few new faces. Most I had known all my life. They had been coming in here as long as I could remember. By the time we closed the doors that evening, I knew all the town gossip and updates. More information than I wanted to know.

  Taking off my apron, I tossed it into the dirty bin, then picked up the bin to take back to the laundry room.

  “What did the Griffith boy have to say?” my mother asked me as I walked into the house with the dirty basket from the store.

  “Just to say hello,” I replied with a shrug.

  “He is a big man now.”

  I laughed then. “Yes, Momma, he is rather large,” I replied.

  When she said nothing more I started toward the laundry room with the basket.

  “Is he staying in Lawton?” she asked me.

  Stopping, I sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. We didn’t talk that much. I dated him briefly five years ago. I don’t know him anymore.” And that sad fact was one I wished I hadn’t verbalized. Knowing something and stating it aloud were two different things. The latter hurt more.

  I put the aprons and towels into the washer, then headed for the stairs. I knew dinner would be ready soon. I could smell the mole and knew we would be having chicken tonight. Teresa had been gone all afternoon to a senior picnic the school had hosted. She still wasn’t home, and I knew it had to do with either a boy or the fact she didn’t want to work in the store.

  Either way, I knew she would be home soon, because missing family dinner was not acceptable.

  I wanted a moment of peace in the room I was sharing with her before she returned and talked nonstop about her day. I would be happy to hear about it, but for just a few minutes I needed to talk myself back into a good mood. Somehow I had gotten into a funk, and I feared it was over Asa freaking Griffith.

  The fact I could so easily be put in a funk over a guy I dated one summer five years ago when I hadn’t shed a tear over a relationship that ended after four years said a lot. Too much. More than I needed to know about how much time I had wasted with Malecon. The worst part was he had loved me. He still did. He had told me at least once a week that he loved me for the past three years, and not one time had I been able to say it back.

  Yet he had stayed with me. He had stayed with me until he had given up on us. I had stayed with him because Malecon was my friend. He was comfortable and safe. I didn’t have to worry about a broken heart with him because I hadn’t given him mine to break. When I had first met him, I’d instantly disliked him.

  He had been working at our store as a stock boy, and I had been fixated on Asa. I had overlooked him or just been annoyed by him when he made it impossible to ignore him. That had been our way up until the day I had walked away from Asa Griffith. I had decided letting him go was the safest and smartest thing to do for myself.

  When I had walked into the store and gone directly to the back of the store to break apart and cry, it had been Malecon who came to sit beside me. For the first time he hadn’t talked and said stupid things. He had been quiet. He had let me cry, and when I was ready he had listened to me ramble on about all that had happened.

  Over the next year, he became my best friend.

  Then he became more than that. He had followed me to Nashville. We had just fallen into a relationship. It had seemed simple. Like it was expected. As if it had been what was supposed to happen. But deep down I had known I could never love him the way he wanted me to. I did try, though. I did.

  His final words to me had been “You didn’t completely walk away from Asa Griffith’s truck that day. You left part of yourself behind. I can’t keep waiting on you to get it back.”

  Until today I had thought those parting words were ridiculous. I had told myself Malecon had wanted to hurt me because my not being able to love him had hurt him. So he went after something in my past he remembered that had broken me, but I was over that. I was a grown woman now. I had even called him immature for bringing it up.

  Now, I wasn’t so sure if there wasn’t some very tiny bit of truth to his words. I did not think I left a significant part of myself behind with Asa. That would be insane. I had moved on, gotten a degree, made new friends, found a new life. I rarely thought of him. Well, maybe once or twice a week. But that was normal. He had been my first love and sadly my only love.

  The door swung open and banged against the wall as Teresa came rushing inside. “I need help! I need an excuse to get out of this house tonight. There is this guy…” She began to prattle on so quickly I only caught bits and pieces of what was said. My own problems continued to plague me while I tried to follow along with Teresa’s.

  I wasn’t sure, but by the time we went down to dinner I thought I might be a part of a plan to leave the house after dinner to go to the drive-in movie with her, although she wouldn’t really be watching it with me. I doubted our parents believed this, but then she seemed certain they would. I decided I would go along with it. Besides, who doesn’t like to go to the drive-in and watch a movie alone?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ASA

  Trying to get my mind off Ezmita I spent the rest of my day visiting some friends. It was just before eleven when I pulled back into the parking lot of the hotel. Nash had ended up inviting over several people to his house, and we had ordered Chinese food and sat in wooden Adirondack chairs in his backyard around a metal firepit drinking beer like middle-aged men. It had been nice.

  Ryker and Aurora had arrived in town last week to prepare for this weekend’s events. With Ryker now playing for the Cowboys, it made it harder for him to get back to Lawton regularly, but his plan wasn’t to stay in the NFL long. Just a few years, then he wanted to come back and settle down in Lawton. Aurora hadn’t come to Nash’s with Ryker. No one brought a girlfriend with them, and I wondered if that was because of Nash’s single status, but I didn’t ask.

  I was walking across the parking lot when I saw headlights pull into the Stop and Shop and then park around the back beside the house. It wasn’t my business who it was, and it was late. Ezmita had sisters who could drive by now. I kept telling myself that, among other things, but instead of continuing to walk toward the hotel entrance, I turned and walked across the street.

  The car lights were still on as I crossed the empty street, and I could see a definite female getting out of the driver’s side door. I made longer strides, and just when I reached within a few yards of the car, I heard voices and realized the driver wasn’t alone.

  “If we are caught, they can’t ground me. You realize that? This is all on you,” Ezmita said.

  “We were at a movie,” the other female voice replied.

  “No, I was at a movie. I don’t know what you were doing,” Ezmita said.

  She was with her sister, I realized. I didn’t know which one. I stepped under the security light so they could clearly see me before speaking. “I hope it was a good movie at least.”

  Both heads spun around and looked at me with wide eyes. Ezmita didn’t look scared, just surprised. She would have recognized my voice. Her sister, however, began to curse in Spanish, then asked Ezmita if I was there to see her.

  “Go inside, Teresa,” Ezmita replied to her sister. “And try not to get caught,” she added in Spanish this time.

  Teresa studied me closely a moment, then smiled as if she approved before doing as her sister told her. Before she went inside, she called out, “You need to make this one stay. He’s much better than the last one. He’s a brick wall of sexy!” She said it in Spanish.

  Ezmita rolled her eyes and waved a hand at her sister as if to shoo her off. Then she swung her gaze back to me. Those eyes hadn’t changed. The way she could look at me, and I felt like she knew me.

  “You’re out late,” she said once we were alone.

  “Just got back from Nash’s. How was your movie?”

  She shrugged. “Popcorn was the best part. They always put too much butter on it,” she replied.

  “I haven’t been to the drive-in since… well, since that summer,” I admitted.

  She smiled and shrugged. “Me either, until tonight. Seems my sister has a crush on the quarterback. Apparently the girls in this town can’t seem to stay away from the football players.”

  “You should warn her,” I said.

  “Oh, trust me, I tried,” Ezmita replied, then smirked at me.

  Damn, this was nice.

  It was also confusing as hell.

  “How long are you here for?” I asked her, needing some kind of closure or reason to stop thinking about her being a part of Lawton.

  She sighed, and her shoulders lifted and fell with the action. Her gaze went back to her house, then back to me. “I don’t know,” she finally said.

  That was not helpful. Not in the least. I didn’t need the temptation of Ezmita Ramos being in Lawton. I had a decision to make about my future. My career.

  “What about you? Are you leaving after this weekend?” she asked me.

  That was a loaded question. One I had hoped would be easier to answer. “I don’t know yet,” I replied.

  She grinned at me, then laughed softly. “How is it we are college graduates and this confused about our current situations? Shouldn’t we be settled down in jobs and know what we want by now?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah, you’d think so,” I replied, not wanting to admit that I had two job offers and it was me standing in the way of that settling down. My inability to decide.

  “I never expected to come back here, you know? I thought once I got out that I wouldn’t want to come back except to visit. But now that I’m here it feels like the most stability and comfort I’ve had in a while,” she said as she stared up at me, her eyes full of so many emotions. Several I understood.

  “I think there is a country song about that,” I teased.

  That got another laugh from her. “Probably several,” she replied, then glanced back at the store behind her. “I don’t want to work here. That’s not it. I just feel less lost being near my family, being in Lawton. I think I’ve been lost for a while now, and I didn’t even realize it.”

  When I had walked across the road to talk to Ezmita, this conversation was not one I had expected; however, I wasn’t against it. Perhaps having it would help both of us.

  “Lawton will always be your home. Your family is here. It makes sense for things to feel right here,” I told her.

  She gazed up at me silently for a few moments. “What about you? Is it your home?” We both knew what she was asking with the unspoken words. My home life here hadn’t been like hers. The only warm memories I had were made by a woman who was buried six feet under. My mom had given me what she could until she couldn’t any longer. Even those brief moments of happiness were jaded now with the truth of what she had endured by my father’s cruelty.

  “I don’t know,” I finally replied. Because there were times this was home. My friends were here, my childhood was here in this town, but was it enough to make this home?

  She nodded as if understanding.

  “I hope you find your home one day, Asa Griffith,” she said softly, then smiled up at me so sweetly, I felt it in my chest. Damn. I wish she didn’t have that ability still. “I need to get inside before Momma comes out here looking for me,” she said. “Good night.”

  I didn’t want this to end. For five years, she had been the one thing that stayed on my mind. The one girl I couldn’t forget. Seeing her again was not helping me. “Good night, Ezmita,” I replied, and I stood there and watched her until she was safely inside before heading back to the hotel.

  CHAPTER SIX

  EZMITA

  Going to sleep thinking about your first love when you’re twenty-three and waking up doing the same thing is rather pathetic. Perhaps it is normal, though. All part of coming home and facing the past. Getting the closure and living the new life you have made for yourself. I was going to tell myself that anyway.

  Waking up in the same bedroom as my sister was nice for a visit, but this wasn’t permanent. I couldn’t move back in with my parents. They would always meddle in my life. I was used to my privacy now, and I needed that. I looked down at my phone and read over the e-mail from the principal at Lawton High School one more time.

  When I had sent in my application I hadn’t truly thought I would get a response so quickly. I had figured I had time to think about moving back here or putting in my application at other places. It had been my sophomore year in college that I decided I wanted to be a teacher. It had taken me several more months to decide I wanted to teach history and I wanted to teach high school.