Figuring out how to fix it, though, was the problem.

  “You look lost,” Gunner said as he and Willa walked up to me.

  I shrugged. I was, but that wasn’t something I could talk to him about. “Didn’t get much sleep.”

  Gunner nodded like he understood. He assumed it was the game. And part of it was. Just not the main part.

  “I’ve got to get to class early and go over my study guide for the test. Y’all can talk football,” Willa said and kissed Gunner’s cheek before leaving us there. Gunner watched her go like he would never see her again, and I figured that had all ended up the way it was supposed to.

  The two of them fit in a way we didn’t. Besides, I think it had been Gunner for her since we were kids.

  “All good in paradise?” I asked him.

  He finally glanced back at me. “Yeah. Life isn’t shit when she’s around.”

  Gunner had some serious family issues. Willa had been there with him through it all, more so than I could have been.

  “I’m glad she came back when she did,” I told him honestly.

  “Me too,” he agreed and turned his head to see her disappear around the corner. “Wish she’d never left.”

  I wondered if he and Willa would have become a thing earlier if she had stayed here. Maybe he would never have dated Riley, and she’d never have been raped by his brother. Life might have been drastically different for all of them.

  “I’m sure she does too,” I added.

  Gunner shrugged. “Don’t know. She made a life for herself there, and although there was a tragic end to it, I don’t think she regrets knowing her friend. Even if she had to lose her.”

  Willa’s story wasn’t easy either. She’d been through something I hadn’t experienced. Having a best friend commit suicide had to have been terrible. But she’d found happiness again.

  “West is coming to view the game clips tonight. You in for another round?” I asked him, changing the subject.

  “Is your mom making cookies again?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then I’ll be there.”

  I Can See You’re Both as Charming as I Remember

  CHAPTER 15

  RILEY

  With a grocery list in one hand and Bryony’s hand in the other, I walked into the store to pick up all the things we needed. Bryony had wanted to go to the park today, but it had rained most of the afternoon, so it was going to be muddy. I’d promised her animal cookies if she was a good girl at the grocery store.

  It was a compromise, not a bribe. Or at least I liked to tell myself that.

  “Riley Young.” I recognized the voice. The way my last name was said as if it were distasteful on her tongue made me tense. I hadn’t come into contact with Serena since I’d returned. I’d hoped I never would. Apparently my luck had just run out.

  I held Bryony close to my side as if they could hurt her, which was silly, but I did it anyway. Turning, I faced not only Serena but Kimmie as well. They looked like older versions of the girls I remembered. Still trying to outdo each other.

  “Hello, Serena. Kimmie,” I replied with a forced smile.

  “You’ve got a kid. What happened, you didn’t use protection?” Kimmie said with a snicker.

  I could take them attacking me. But they weren’t going to bring Bryony into this.

  “I can see you’re both as charming as I remember. If you’ll excuse me, I have groceries to buy,” I replied, wanting to set a good example for my daughter. She was young, but I was still sure she understood things like this. Or they at least made impressions on her.

  I walked past them and put Bryony in a buggy.

  “Don’t forget to grab some condoms. Hate for that to happen again,” Serena said with a sweet tone.

  I only had so much restraint.

  “You’re the one who needs to remember her condoms. You wouldn’t want to spread around the STDs you’ve got from years of screwing anyone who would look your way.”

  With that, I walked off. Maybe it wasn’t my finest hour as a mom, but damn, it felt good. They could stew on that and bitch about me for the next week.

  “Cookies?” Bryony asked me, and I could see the concerned frown on her face. She hadn’t understood what happened, but she was smart enough to know I was rattled.

  “Yes, baby girl, we are going to get you cookies,” I assured her.

  My emotions were too raw from last night’s confrontation with Brady. I was being a complete brat about it, but it couldn’t be helped. I had trusted him enough to say yes to his offer, then he’d taken it back. I understood his reasons, but it still hurt. That wasn’t getting any better.

  My life here was for a short time anyway. I would graduate soon, and then I was going to find a job and save up to get me and Bryony a place of our own. I didn’t have time for boys and friends. I had a life to build. My teen years were over. They had been since the night I asked Rhett to give me a ride home. Before that night I’d been smarter. I had trusted Brady, who had once been a good friend. Someone I could rely on.

  Two years ago . . .

  Gunner was drinking again. Being invited to these field parties early had been our ultimate goal since we were in elementary school. Thanks to Gunner’s older brother and the fact that Gunner was expected to be a future star on the football team, we, along with Brady and West, got to go this summer.

  At first, Gunner hadn’t drunk with the others. Brady never drank, but West had started sampling the beer. Then Gunner. Now it was a full-on drunk fest. Brady was the only one who remained sober. He was also the one everyone else wanted to talk to. He had started drawing attention from the high school coach two years ago, when he was just in eighth grade. His accuracy with the ball made him important around here.

  I sat on an old tractor tire near the fire, where Gunner had been earlier. He’d left me for more to drink and was now laughing with some juniors loudly and annoyingly. I’d liked getting to come to the parties at first, but I wasn’t so sure I liked it now. Getting home tonight would be tricky. I couldn’t call my mom to come get me because Gunner was hammered. She’d see that.

  I searched the crowd for Rhett, who normally gave Gunner and me a ride home. He drank some, but rarely did he get completely sloshed. I watched him and decided how safe riding with him would be. I’d gotten a ride with Brady’s mom more than once. Problem with that was, Brady stayed until late, and I wasn’t in the mood to stay late.

  Serena was trying hard to get Rhett’s attention when I found him across the field by his truck. He seemed more interested in one of the older girls there. Although Serena was here because of Rhett, I was sure. Definitely wouldn’t be asking him to take me home tonight. I guessed I’d have to suffer through until Brady left. He had a crowd around him, but I stood up and made my way over to him anyway. Gunner was going to be passed out soon, and I needed a ride home.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” someone called out with an obvious slur in his voice. I glanced over to see Ivan, one of Rhett’s friends, walking toward me. The red plastic cup in his hand held more than just beer, I’d bet. Ivan had been kicked off the team last year for partying too hard. He rarely showed up for class and was going to flunk out. No one seemed to care about any of this, though. He still hung with the same crowd, and they loved him.

  I turned my attention back to Brady’s group and hoped Ivan would trip over his drunk feet. “Your boy’s not able to handle his beer yet. He leave you all alone? That’s a shame. Come over here and we can talk.”

  Not in this lifetime.

  “No thanks,” I replied, still not looking at him.

  He laughed like that was hilarious. Before he could think of something else to say, I was close enough to Brady that he saw me headed his way. He stopped talking and stepped over toward me.

  “You good?” he asked, doing a quick check for Gunner, I assumed.

  “Yeah. Just need a ride. Is your mom coming?” I asked.

  He nodded, but there was a frown on his face. “Gunner drunk again?”

  “Yep.”

  He shook his head. “I’ve got to straighten him out. I’ll call Mom. We can leave in a few.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  You Need Rattling

  CHAPTER 16

  BRADY

  Ivy had decorated my locker and left brownies with icing on them inside. She was still acting like we were an item on game days. I didn’t want to say something to hurt her feelings, but she had to stop this. We didn’t talk the rest of the week. Her mom’s brownies were good and all, but they weren’t going to fix us. We’d never been right to begin with.

  I ate two brownies and drank a large glass of milk before going upstairs to get my bag. Mom would have washed my uniform and packed things up for me to take to the bus. Tonight was important. Vitally. If we didn’t win this game, we were out.

  The studying of game tapes and all the extra practice had made me feel ready. I thought the team was prepared. It wasn’t them that was weighing on my mind. Instead it was me. The center of the team. The quarterback. Who needed his head adjusted. I hadn’t been able to shake loose Riley’s visit the other night. It bothered me that she was hurt. That I had been the one to hurt her.

  This wasn’t new. I was the nice guy. Not because I was labeled with it but because it was simply who I was. Sometimes I seriously hated it.

  However, this Riley thing was different. I was worried about her more so than I’d ever worried about Ivy and her feelings. Ivy and I had been on again off again for almost two years, but I’d never felt as strongly for her as I did about Riley. The only reason that I could think of for this was the little girl. Riley had been handed a raw deal and made the best of it. I respected that.

  My bag was sitting on my bed like expected, all packed up for me. Mom wasn’t home from work yet, but she’d be at the game along with my dad. They would bring Maggie, and it would be the normal Friday night. Except today, my head was not just on the game the way it always is.

  Frustrated, I grabbed my bag and headed back downstairs. I had to deal with this now. We were supposed to be at the field house to load the bus in one hour. Before I went there, I was going to see Riley. If I didn’t talk to her and ease my mind, I wasn’t sure I could pull tonight off. The Panthers were also undefeated. We had a job on our hands, and I had to be 100 percent.

  “You leaving already?” Maggie asked as I passed her bedroom door.

  I paused and looked in the room. She was on her bed sitting with her legs crossed and a book open in her lap. The girl read more than anyone I knew.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  “West went home to take a nap before y’all have to meet to leave.”

  “I need to go do something,” I said, not giving her any more detail.

  “Well, good luck tonight.”

  “Thanks. I need it.”

  She tilted her head to one side and her dark brown hair fell over one shoulder. “Never heard you say that before.”

  Because I never felt that before. I had always been focused and confident. Not now.

  “I’ve got a lot on my mind is all.”

  “Riley Young,” Maggie replied. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I said, and started to walk off.

  “You’ve been off since she threw the rock at the window the other night. You made the wrong decision, and it’s haunting you.”

  This wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. I just needed to fix it. “You didn’t say anything to West, did you?”

  She shook her head. “Not my information to tell.”

  I really liked that about my cousin. She wasn’t a gossip. She kept to herself mostly. No drama or girly stuff to contend with. A lot like Riley, I guess.

  “I’m working out what the right thing is. Not just for me but for everyone involved.” I wasn’t making sense, but that was all I was willing to say.

  “I don’t know her. But I like her.”

  “Why?” I asked, curious.

  “No girl has ever rattled you like this. Not even Willa. Certainly not Ivy. You need rattling.”

  No, I needed to be levelheaded and ready to win this game. “I disagree.”

  Maggie picked her book back up like she was done with this conversation. Which was something I liked about her. She didn’t go on and on about a topic I was done discussing.

  “I’ve found that the things that rattle us the most are the ones worth making sacrifices for.” She said this without looking up at me.

  Damn. That struck a chord.

  “Did you make sacrifices for West?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  This time she looked up from her book. “I spoke, Brady. I braved the sound of my own voice.”

  The reason why that was a sacrifice didn’t need explaining. I understood. With a nod of my head, I left her there with her book. She had gained life again when she’d spoken to West. A large part of her that had been missing was filled with new reasons to be happy.

  I didn’t think I was missing anything. I had great parents, I had good friends, and I was going to play football at an SEC college next year. My life couldn’t get much better. Before I picked up Riley and Bryony in my truck the other day, I didn’t question any of this. I knew I was solid. I was ready for my future.

  Now I wondered if I was just living the easy life. Not facing challenges or really making a mark on anyone. Maggie had been West’s rock through a hell I never wanted to imagine. Even as broken as she was, she’d stood by him and become his center. She had done something with her life that meant more than just her happiness. She’d found happiness helping someone else.

  Was I happy? This life I had . . . Did it make me happy? Did playing football and being the star at Lawton High really make me happy?

  No. It didn’t. I wasn’t fulfilled.

  I was empty. Pointless. I was a vessel to win games at my high school. Girls liked me, and I had my pick if I wanted them. My truck wasn’t new, but it was nice and had been given to me without my having to work for it. There was nothing worth mentioning I had done for anyone.

  Tossing my bag into the passenger seat of my truck I decided that was over. I wasn’t focusing on Brady Higgens anymore. Someone needed me. She needed friendship, and she had come to me. Fuck my friends getting mad. They all needed to wake up and realize that was two years ago and we’d all been wrong. I was worried about winning a championship and there was a single mom who I had once considered a friend reaching out. I wasn’t ignoring that. Not for a damn game.

  You’ve Got a Championship to Win

  CHAPTER 17

  RILEY

  There were painted car windows, blue flags with lions on them, and of course large signs in every yard except ours with LIONS #1. My house wasn’t worried about the game. We were the only ones in town without some Lions sign in their yard, and in the next town meeting they could possibly vote to run us out of town . . . again . . . because we’ve failed to be football obsessed.

  Smiling at that thought, I shook my head. It wouldn’t happen, of course, but the way they all made over a football game you would think it was the presidential election. Bryony pointed at another car that passed us leaving town for the game. The painted windows and flags flying were fascinating to her. At least they were good for something.

  The next vehicle that passed wasn’t a painted car. It was Brady Higgens’s truck. My chest tightened at the sight, and I began walking faster. Getting home wasn’t going to make the reminder of the other night go away, but I could at least get busy with making Bryony a snack and cleaning my closet or something. Anything not to remember the fool I’d made of myself.

  Bryony clapped and waved at the next car that drove by. They had a stuffed lion’s head on the hood. Not sure how they were making that stay. But it sure made Bryony happy. She’d probably enjoy the games. All the fans cheering and guys running on the field. I’d never be able to take her, though. That was a part of my life that was over.

  I turned into my grandmamma’s drive just as Brady’s truck came to a rolling stop beside me. Bryony was waving at him as if he were her best friend. I had already been rude in front of my daughter once this week. I wasn’t going to do it again.

  “Don’t you have a game to get to?” I asked him. His window was down, and he looked like he was about to speak to me.

  “I have about forty-five minutes. Can you talk?”

  My response should have been Nope. I can’t. Bye.

  But Brady had a game, and he was here for some reason. To him, it had to be important. I looked over to see my dad’s car was also home. Fridays he often got off work early. The game probably had the entire town getting off work early. Leaving Bryony inside with my parents shouldn’t be an issue.

  “Let me take her inside,” I replied.

  I pushed the stroller to the front porch and bent down in front of her to unbuckle the safety harness. “Mommy is going to talk to our friend Brady, okay? I’ll be inside to fix you a snack in a few minutes.”

  She nodded as if this all made sense. I often wondered if it did, if she understood the things she responded to.

  Opening the door, I saw Dad on the sofa with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. “Hey, Dad,” I greeted him. “Brady Higgens is out here and wants to talk to me a minute. Can you keep an eye on Bryony for me? I won’t be long.”

  Dad frowned. “Brady? Doesn’t that boy have a game to be at?”

  My sentiments exactly. I nodded. “Yes, so this will be quick.”

  “Sure, I’ll watch her. Tell him I said good luck. I’m rooting for them.”

  I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure what to say. My parents were too enthusiastic about Brady. I was afraid they were about to be let down. I put Bryony down so she could run to see her pops, then closed the door behind me. My father wasn’t the nosy sort, but whatever this was about, I didn’t want anyone overhearing us.

  Brady had stepped out of his truck and was leaning against the passenger’s side, waiting on me. I walked back over to him. If he was going to apologize again, I just may have lost my temper. I didn’t want his apologies. I wanted to pretend I’d never gone over there.