Thinking about memoir, p.7
Thinking About Memoir,
p.7
—Write two pages about an untrainable animal.
—Write two pages about making the bed.
—Write two pages about giving a dog a bath.
—Write two pages, the last line of which is, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”
—Write two pages about scolding a child.
—Write two pages of something that doesn’t get better.
—Write two pages that end, “But she came back.”
—Write two pages in which you were unmasked.
—Write two pages about sitting in someone’s lap.
—Write two pages of being too cold.
—Write two pages of being too hot.
—Write two pages of something vanished.
—Write two pages in which you do something wrong that you do not regret.
—Write two pages of taking your time.
—Write two pages of an irritating sound you can’t locate the source of.
—Write two pages that begin, “That’s enough of that.”
—Write two pages that end, “That’s enough of that.”
—Write two pages in which someone fell down.
—Write two pages that begin, “That’s not yours.”
—Write two pages of fighting about food.
—Write two pages in which someone fails to move something too heavy.
—Write two pages of making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
—Write two pages of something you expected to turn out differently.
—Write two pages in which someone throws her weight around.
—Write two pages that begin, “There are many things I miss.”
—Write two pages in which you are suddenly not afraid.
—Write two pages of a man crying in another room.
—Write two pages of instructions on how to kill flies.
—Write two pages the second sentence of which is, “It’s not funny.”
—Write two pages in which a child comforts an adult.
—Write two pages in which someone kills something by accident.
—Write two pages about looking for a lost animal.
—Write two pages that take place in a waiting room.
—Write two pages that end, “And that’s the story.”
—Write two pages of something you vowed never to forget that you forgot.
—Write two pages in which someone runs out of matches.
—Write two pages of Notes to Self.
—Write two pages in which someone throws and misses.
—Write two pages that end, “I could go on and on.”
A Note About the Series
Thinking About Memoir is the first volume in an ongoing series on the arts of living that AARP Books will publish over the next few years. The series is intended to provoke thinking about some of the personal and public disciplines and graces that have fallen into disuse in our recent history: such virtues as civility, conversation, listening, courage, loyalty, remembering, patience, and love.
Now that we all expect to live twenty years or more beyond the traditional “retirement age,” we’re going to have to do some work on ourselves. It takes more than sound finances, an exercise plan, and a pleasant climate (useful as these are) to face down the chronic conditions of old age. We need to make ourselves emotionally and intellectually fit for the voyage. To survive, as individuals and as a culture, we’re going to have to learn the arts of living.
Living is said to be an art, and like any art it must be practiced with diligence (to paraphrase Dr. Johnson) before it can be done with ease. There is nothing we do in our everyday lives that could not be done with greater understanding. Our practice is in every case a twofold benefit—for ourselves and for the public weal.
Very few learned this while still young. Most of us spent the first half or more of our lives trying to provide for our families and ourselves. It’s only in the later, latter half that the questions come: What must I do, how shall I live, what difference will my life have meant when I have come to its end?
All of the arts of living depend on learning to pay disciplined attention to some aspect of the world. These books address the notion of excellence—the idea, oddly lacking in our time, that one can set out to perfect oneself at any age. The greatest and most indispensable of all human enterprises, the “examined life,” can be attended to at any moment. The books in our series aim to provide a point of entry to that singular adventure. More is at stake than our individual happiness, for each person is also a cell in the larger body politic; our enduring as a culture, even as a species, may be in question.
Index
C
Calming effect, of writing, 8
Control, loss of, 94–95
D
Death, 96–98
Details
controlling, 76–78
keeping track of, 62–63
paying attention to, 2
specific, using, 61
Diary
avoiding word “journal” for, 12–13
buying supplies for, 12
as fact checker, 17–18
mysterious old entry, 18–19
notes from, 14–16
pen for, 12
rules for, 14
self-honesty with, shopping obsession example, 19–29
writing exercises. See Writing exercise topics
Differences, noticing, 59–60
Dream, loss of, 87–89
E
Exercises. See Writing exercise topics
G
Getting started. See Starting writing; Writing exercise topics
H
Habit of writing, vii-viii, 11–29
avoiding perfection, 13
diary for. See Diary
good habits, 11–13
Heaven and hell, loss of definition, 92
Hell, going through, 66
Honesty
diary for self-honesty, 19–29
importance of, 9
Humor, loss of, 94
I
Ideal day, 73–76
Identity, losing, 82, 85
Interest, writing things of, 98–100
J
Journal. See Diary
Jumbled organization, 66
K
Killing time, 68–71
L
Loss
of control, 94–95
death as, 96–98
of definition of heaven and hell, 92
of desire to be with loved creature, 85–86
of dream, 87–89
of humor, 94
of identity, 82, 85
making something out of, 81–82
of regime, 95–96
of self-respect, 89–90
of serenity, 94
of sleep, 84
of strength, 93
of things, 82–83, 87
of time, 83
use it or lose it and, 98
for words, 90–91
M
Manners, 70, 71–73
Memoir
description of, vii, viii, 1–2
getting started. See Starting writing; Writing exercise topics
motive for, 67–68
reasons for writing, 1–2, 8–9, 67–68, 100
types of, 53–54
Memory(ies)
childhood, 47
conflicting, 34–35
of holidays, 44–46
imperfection of, 31–33
lack of, 46
lamenting lack of, 48–49
in the making, 35–39
metaphor and, 51–52
no longer needed, 49–51
physical (textures), 40–43
total recall, 39–40
useless, 43–44
Metaphor, memory and, 51–52
Motive, for memoir. See Reasons for memoir
N
Need for story, 64–65
P
Pen, for diary, 12
Perfection, avoiding, 13, 39
Physical memories, 40–43
R
Reasons for memoir, 1–2, 8–9, 67–68, 100
Regime, loss of, 95–96
S
Self-respect, loss of, 89–90
Serenity, loss of, 94
Series, about, 109–110
Shapes and sounds, 66
Sleep, loss of, 84
Starting writing exercises for. See Writing exercise topics
finding jumping-off place, 2–3
value of assignments for, 4–5
writing things of interest and, 98–100
Strength, loss of, 93
Structure, 53–79
development experience of author, 54–56
flexibility of, 56
jumbled organization, 66
keeping track of things noticed, 62–63
need for story and, 64–65
shapes, sounds and, 66
types of memoir and, 53–54
using specific details, 61
varying voices, 78–79
writing your will and, 56–58
T
Things, loss of, 82–83, 87
Time
killing, 68–71
loss of, 83
Topics for exercises.See Writing exercise topics
Truth, telling, 9
U
Use it or lose it, 98
V
Voice, varying, 78–79
W
Will, writing, 56–58
Words, loss for, 90–91
Writing exercise topics, 101–108
about: value of assignments and, 4–5
additional topics, 101–108
apologizing for something you didn’t do, 18
bad news, 91
baiting a trap, 95
beginning with “Get me out of here,” 66
being able to fly, 47
being born, 17
being caught in trap, 95
being cold, 61
being sick in bed, 47
blaming injured party, 87
childhood memories, 47
downside of loved one/object, 86
dreams you miss, 89
ending with “Ha ha,” 71
ending with “That’s typical,” 58
ending with “You can’t get away from it,” 52
fading memory, 34–35
failure to rise to occasion, 68
family superstitions, 73
feeling homesick, 60
feet, 56
filing something away for future reference, 50
flashlight, 52
getting wrong reaction from hoped-for admirer, 42–43
gift given but not appreciated, 46
guilt, 70
holidays, 44–46
how did I get here? (and facial expressions), 29
how you keep/kept warm, 61
how you spent allowance, 25
humiliating exposure, 22
ideal day, 73–76
inappropriate dress, 4
insomniac thoughts, 84
“It’s not funny” as second sentence, 14
jumbled topics, 66
keeping temper in check, 5–6
laugh-inducing thing, 52
lies, 90
loss of humor, 94
loss of mobility, 93
lost abilities, 51
lost memories, 46, 48–49
loved one holding non-loved object, 86
manners that make no sense, 73
memories of chocolate, 60
mistake you failed to correct, 85
mistaking something for something else, 35–39
moment you knew something was over, 50
no fun at all, 51
noticing differences, 60
obsessing over something meaningless, 7–8
occurrence in water, 17
ode to body parts, 56
overreactions, 86
perfect room for perfect activity (or lack thereof), 89
persistent snobbism, 44
physical characteistic proud of, 16
pretending to like food, 73
putting off relief, 75
question you wish you’d asked, 63
relationship to Sundays or Saturdays, 83
reluctance to go home, 78
requirement for losing identity, 82
responsibility you’d rather have ducked, 75
restraint, 29
scuffle with yourself, 59
selfish fear, 84
shopping list of single woman, 78
skill had and no longer needed, 51
softest thing, 41–42
something you cannot deny, 18
something you regret revealing, 65
something you wish you didn’t know, 65
something you wrote/did and do not understand, 19
“Source of My Strength,” 93
strange person, 63–64
sudden silence, 74
“sweets to the sweet,” 19
taking extreme measures, 84
things overlooked or not, 71–72
three-word sentence bios, 3
treasures and possessions, 57–58
trip preparations, 60
unexpected compassion, 16
uninspiring diary entries, 13
unnatural objects of your bounty, 57
unnoticed revenge, 63
unshakable belief, 49
unwelcome assistance, 64
useless memories (sentences), 43–44
versions of hell, 92
vices no longer have, 96
waning enthusiasm, 73
wave signifying hello and good-bye, 92
what comes next and how you like it, 94
what got left behind, 26
what waits in ambush, 98
what you can’t take with you, 58
what you didn’t plan to do, 96
what you don’t collect, 26
what you don’t need, 59, 83
what you don’t want to hear, 98
what you have to have, 21
what you have too much of, 23
what you wanted to be, 41
when you knew you were in trouble, 27
will contents, 56–58
wrong comfort, 91
Abigail Thomas, Thinking About Memoir
