“I’d like to get married for sure. I really only date if I think marriage is on the table. I’m not the fling kind of girl at all.”

  “I’m not sure I’d want to get married again. Breaking up a marriage is hard.”

  “Just because you get married doesn’t mean it’ll end.”

  Elle sent June a sidelong look. “That’s what I thought the first time. A second? I’m not sure I could handle that.”

  June turned on her side, her hip digging into the mattress as she propped herself up and rested a hand on Elle’s arm. “You’re stronger than you think, and you’re far more resilient than you think too.”

  “That remains to be seen.”

  “I know it.” June gave her a flash of a smile.

  “I’m not opposed to kids, you know. It was just kind of a dream I had given up on, like I gave up on a lot of other dreams.”

  “Yeah? Like what?”

  Smirking a little, Elle blushed. “Like skydiving. I always wanted to try it at least once. Or getting a tattoo.”

  “You don’t have a tattoo? I figured you’d have three or four hidden away,” June teased.

  “Not one. Do you?”

  “Yeah,” June said, sheepishly. “I’ve got almost my whole back done up. Couple calf tats and one on my ribs.”

  “Are you serious?” Elle wasn’t quite sure whether to believe her or not. In some ways, it seemed way far out of character, but at the same time, it didn’t.

  June nodded. “Yeah, here.”

  Sitting up, June pulled her pant leg up to show off three separate tattoos on her right calf and one on her left. Elle reached out and traced the words letter by letter. Faith is like a mustard seed.

  “This is gorgeous,” Elle whispered.

  “Wait until you see this one!” June tugged down her pant legs only to lift up the back of her shirt.

  Elle was left speechless. Her throat constricted as she tried to make out words. The curve of June’s back, her skin beautifully painted with black ink, was bare before her. She pressed her hands to June’s hot skin, her heart racing and regretting the decision to touch instantly.

  Wings. Angel wings were beautifully laid out before her. She traced a few feathers before dipping her fingers lower and reading, “Luke 4:10. What’s that?”

  “‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully.’”

  “That’s you.”

  June pulled away, lowering her shirt down slowly. “It’s not me. I’m protected by angels.”

  “Yeah, but it’s also you.” Elle turned June by the shoulder so she could look her direct in the eye. “That’s what you do. You protect people. You bring them back to Christ. You—in essence—are an angel for them.”

  June blushed. She shook her head but didn’t verbally disagree this time. Elle leaned in, wanting to kiss her, wanting to feel that connection. She caught herself and pulled back immediately. Curbing her desire and the temptation, she put even more space between them and shifted to sit cross-legged on the bed.

  “Did you always want to live here? In rural America?” Elle asked.

  “Yeah,” June answered. “I like smaller towns. They have a homey feel to them. I mean, I don’t want to live where there isn’t a movie theatre or a liquor store, but you get the point. I don’t have to be in New York City. You?”

  “Maybe not the town, but I wanted to be able to do my job and not just pass everyone off to the next specialist. I wanted to be able to practice medicine. It’s hard to do that in bigger cities these days.”

  “You wanted to work.”

  “Exactly. I don’t like being the middleman.”

  June nodded. “I can understand that. It takes a lot of grit to go after what you want and to not stop when the going gets tough.”

  “The very same could be said about you, Chaplain.” Elle winked and relaxed. She was finding their rhythm again, the pattern of teasing, flirting, and conversation the two of them had almost from the very start. If she could focus on that, focus on their friendship, then perhaps her heart would settle down. She might be in love with June, but that didn’t mean they had to be together. June was her own independent person who was just starting to figure out the single life again. Elle didn’t want to be the rebound, and she certainly didn’t want to pressure June into any kind of relationship she may not want.

  “When Kevin comes back to work, you’ll have less on-call shifts, right?”

  June hummed and nodded. “Why?”

  “I know you struggle with them, but I do enjoy seeing you roaming my halls.”

  “Your halls?” June raised a singular eyebrow. “I don’t think they’re your halls.”

  “Sure they are. When I’m the attending on shift, they’re my halls. I’m the boss.”

  “Yeah. Okay. You can think that.” June grinned.

  Elle wrinkled her nose. “They are.”

  “Okay.” She still had a tone of disbelief.

  Shaking her head, Elle rested on her pillows and closed her eyes. It felt nice to be able to enjoy their time spent together. While a coffee date was always welcome, something about this simple banter back and forth in the confines of the house was better. It felt more natural. It felt more like a relationship.

  At the thought, her heart clenched again. She took a shuddering breath and put her hand to her chest where it ached. Elle was not generally a patient person, but when it came to June, she knew she was going to have to be. June still needed to heal from the dissolution of her last relationship. That took precedence to starting a new one.

  Turning her head, she looked down at a curious June. She smiled and tapped the pillow next to her, silently inviting June to join her. June lay down next to her, and immediately, their conversation started up again. Together they stayed awake the rest of the day until Elle begged for sleep before she collapsed. June gladly left her alone so she could catch up on some rest before her day off.

  Chapter Sixteen

  June pulled into the house, hitting the button on the garage door opener Elle had given her. Parking in a garage was a dream. She’d gotten so used to parking outside and having to dig her car out every morning when she left that she suddenly had an extra twenty minutes each day and didn’t know what to do with it.

  Instead of heading straight inside, June swung to the front door of the house and grabbed the mail. She flipped through, looking for anything with her name on it. After taking what was hers, she piled Elle’s things together and headed back inside. She closed the garage door behind her. As soon as she walked in, the house was warm, and the smell of dinner cooking hit her nostrils.

  In all their time together before June had moved into the house temporarily, Elle had never shared she could actually cook. Each night June came home from work and Elle had to leave for work, Elle made sure to have a meal ready and waiting so they could eat together. They had three short hours to spend in the same room before Elle had to leave, assuming June was able to leave on time, and often the dinner table was where they spent all their time together.

  They shared the highs and lows of June’s day along with Elle recalling stories from the night before. Mixed in there was more about their dreams for the future, often hurt feelings that randomly came up. Ultimately, it was a time of sharing, one June had come to cherish. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed simple companionship with someone else.

  Before Lydia, she had called her mom and talked to her as much as she could, but it was her mom. She couldn’t dream with her mom, and she certainly couldn’t share some intimate points of her life. Elle was completely different. They had gone from acquaintances to friends to best friends, and June couldn’t really imagine her world without Elle in it in some capacity.

  She plopped the mail down on the kitchen counter where Elle always left her keys and headed for the closet to take her jacket off and stash it. She called over her shoulder, “I grabbed the mail for you.”

  “Oh! Thanks.”

  Elle dug through the bills. She stopped short on one large manilla envelope. With a scared glance at June, Elle turned it over and ripped the back open. A rush of breath left her as she sat down on a stool and pulled papers from the envelope.

  “What is it?” June asked, the air and tension in the room rising instantaneously. She shoved her jacket in the closet and shut it behind her as she practically raced to check on Elle. “Elle?”

  “It’s my divorce decree.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she skimmed through each of the papers, not really reading them.

  June immediately moved next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing with reassuring comfort. She waited for Elle to speak, knowing there was nothing she could say that would make Elle feel any different.

  Glancing up, Elle had tears in her eyes. “I—I thought I felt single before, but now…it’s so real.”

  Cupping Elle’s cheek, June looked her straight in the eye. “It’s okay to feel happy and sad at the same time. A marriage ending isn’t something so trivial, and it isn’t something that’s going to have one feeling attached to it. Okay?”

  Elle nodded and stared at the paperwork. June’s heart went out to her. She wished she could make her feel better or even just know what Elle wanted to hear. Was it joy? Was it sitting with her in her pain? Choosing not to pick a side until Elle gave an indication of which one she wanted to be on herself, June sat next to her.

  “Hit harder than you thought it would?”

  “Yeah.” Elle swallowed and shook her head. “It’s stupid.”

  “It’s not. I promise you. Nothing about what we feel is stupid. It’s just what we feel.”

  Nodding, Elle shoved the papers in the envelope. “I guess I should store this where it belongs. In the back of a file somewhere for whenever I need it and where I don’t have to see it.”

  “Yeah. Or we could burn it in the fireplace and tell your lawyer you never got it so they have to send you another one, but you still get the satisfaction of burning it.”

  Elle snorted. “Thanks, but I think I’ll stick with filing it away.”

  “Your choice.” June put her hands up and shrugged. “What’d you cook because it smells amazing?”

  With one glance to the stove, Elle answered, “Teriyaki-marinated tilapia with some peppers and carrots in there to spice it up. There’s rice too.”

  “Mmmm.” June moved to the stove and made each of them a plate. When she turned back around, Elle was still staring at the full envelope in front of her. “Want me to file it for you?”

  “What?” Elle looked at June before she looked down. “Oh. No. I can do it.”

  June set their plates at the table and came over to where Elle sat at the kitchen counter. “Well, I’m here, if you want to talk. You know that.”

  “Yeah. Maybe. I just…I really thought it was over before now, but this really makes it so final.”

  “Elle, it is final.”

  “I know. It’s just—I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “Try me.”

  Taking a deep breath, Elle let it out slowly. “This makes it real in a way it wasn’t before.”

  “Ah. Yeah. I get that. You finally have it right in front of your face. There is no going back anymore. No miraculous chances everything will go back ten years and you’ll be happily married and newlyweds again.”

  “Yeah. That.”

  Rubbing a hand up and down Elle’s arm, June gave her a quaint smile. “You wanted this.”

  “I did. Doesn’t mean I liked it.”

  June nodded. “True.”

  “I’m officially, officially single now, I guess.”

  June’s heart fluttered, and she grinned. She nodded toward the table. “Come on. Let’s eat, so you’re up for work tonight, and you can tell me all about your new plans now you’re on the market.”

  The look of fear that crossed Elle’s face didn’t faze June. In some ways, she expected it. This was completely new territory for Elle, and she would have to figure out how to walk in new shoes for the first time ever. Not only was she newly single, but she was divorced. That carried a weight with it June couldn’t even imagine.

  Tugging at Elle’s hand, she pulled until Elle reluctantly got up and headed for the table. They sat together, and June made sure to sit a little closer than normal in order to best support her friend. Digging in to her first bite, she moaned around the food. “This is amazing. In another life, I bet you’d be a chef.”

  Elle snorted. “My abuela would vastly disagree with you.”

  “Why’s that?” June asked around another bite.

  “I cannot cook to her standards at all, and no matter how many times I tried to make her recipes, I did not make them right.”

  “That’s just your grandma being picky, I think, because this is amazing.”

  “Well, thank you, but I’ll stick to doctoring.”

  “Suit yourself.” June took another bite.

  It wasn’t long before they were both finished and cleaning up together. Once the dishes were cleared and leftovers put away, Elle turned around and leaned against the sink, staring at the full envelope again. June brushed her hand up and down her arm to comfort her once more.

  “Like I said, it’s okay to be happy and sad at the same time, amongst a few other emotions too.”

  “Is it weird that I just feel satisfied?”

  June looked Elle full in the face, searching her eyes for any other type of emotion. Shaking her head slowly, she answered, “It’s not weird. You can feel however you feel about it. The important part is you’re feeling something.”

  “Okay. Okay, well, I’m going to go shove that thing in the dark recesses of my filing cabinet and forget it’s there.”

  “I hope you don’t totally forget it’s there, or what it is.”

  “Forget I’m officially a divorced woman? Nope. Don’t think I’ll forget that any time soon.” Elle pushed off the sink and grabbed the envelope.

  June watched her walk toward her office, the sway of her full hips, the slight movement of her dark curls as they cascaded down her back. Knowing all too well that Elle would tie them up in a bun as soon as she was ready to head out to work, June marveled in the sight. She licked her lips and blushed when Elle turned around to send her a heated look just before she entered her office.

  June’s heart skipped a beat. She held a hand to her chest as she remained against the sink, staring into the empty space Elle had just occupied. What was that? she wondered as she waited for Elle to return. Brushing the answer from her mind, June focused her gaze as Elle exited the office and sauntered in her direction.

  “There. It’s done.”

  “Good. Feel better?”

  “Not really. No.” Elle shook her head. “I, uh…I need to go into work early today, though. I’m going to go change and be on my way.”

  “Oh. Okay.” June held still, not sure what to do or say. Elle was already escaping before she had a chance to ask why there was a change, not that it was any of her business. She made her way to her own room and shut the door behind her. She relaxed on the bed and opened a book she’d started reading over a year before.

  ★

  Elle had spent all night in a haze. If someone asked her a week from then, there would be no way she’d be able to tell them what happened during her shift. Emotions swam around her like a firefly to light. They’d hit her randomly, then backed off, or they’d smack her straight in the face, and she struggled to gain her own ground.

  By the time her shift ended, she was beyond thankful to be heading home and away from the hospital. She needed time to be able to relax and really analyze all she was feeling and experiencing. She was single. Officially on the market again.

  Groaning, Elle rubbed her cheeks as she sat in her car in the parking lot. What did that even mean? She’d already been working on dating, but since her discovery of how she felt about June, she hadn’t really thought about dating—at least not anyone but June. She still got the sense June wasn’t entirely ready to be back in the dating pool. Not to mention she had no idea if she was even in the game for consideration when it came to what June was looking for in another woman.

  She put the car in reverse and backed out, weariness hitting her like a ton of bricks. She was tired. Not just from her ending marriage, but from dating Lydia, from hiding how she truly felt about June, from standing strong and pretending like none of it bothered her or affected her. June had helped her in many ways to open up and share, but she didn’t feel like she could share everything.

  Sighing, she turned out of the parking lot and headed for home. Elle put all her energy into focusing on driving. The roads were slick after a freezing rainfall somewhere around two in the morning that had yet to melt, and while the streets immediately to the hospital were salted, the rest were not. Her tires skidded on more than one occasion as she attempted to come to a stop. Several times, she had to roll through the light because there was no way she was going to be coming to a full stop.

  Finally pulling into her garage, she parked. Her fingers were sore from white-knuckling the steering wheel. Leaning back in her seat, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That had not been the most exciting drive she’d had home, but it certainly ranked up there in the top three. Winters were the worst, and they seemed to last forever.

  Elle shut the garage door and got out. She shivered as she entered the house. It was warm inside, but she wasn’t shivering because she was cold. She glanced at her watch and noted she was home earlier than expected. Her charting hadn’t taken her hours that night, luckily.

  Heading into the kitchen, she was surprised to find the coffee hadn’t been made yet. Glancing around the rest of the house, she realized June must still be asleep. Elle started the coffee herself and sat down to wait. After a few minutes, she stood up.

  Walking slowly and quietly up the stairs toward June’s room, she breathed heavily. As soon as she got to the door, she stopped. It was dark inside. June was typically always awake hours before her alarm went off. It was some sick habit Elle was jealous of. This time, however, the room was dead silent.