“Oh boy,” Cindy muttered, “here he comes”.

  “He doesn’t act dangerous,” Nina opined.

  “Yeah,” her friend replied. “Just don’t let him sniff you.”

  Before Nina could respond and Wanda could snark, the visitor was standing too close to ignore, brushing grass off the now seriously stained jogging suit.

  “Have any of you seen Jen?” he asked politely.

  That prompted a double take among the assembled women. Weirdness they expected, but not something so straightforward. Wanda looked the stranger up and down.

  “You know Jen?”

  Nina was studying him more closely. Thanks to Wanda’s query she was now able to confirm what she had suspected when he had first appeared.

  “He must,” she murmured. “He’s wearing her clothes.”

  “Everyone owned that kind of jump suit,” Cindy commented, adding, “Maybe not always in pink.”

  Lowering her eyes, Wanda gazed at her friend. “Who are you?”

  They were interrupted by the sudden arrival of another, much smaller quadruped. Running up to Stuart, Freddy raced twice around his ankles before taking off, leaving a trail of sonic squirbling noises in his wake. Raising an arm, Stuart pointed at the retreating squirrel.

  “You! Freddy! Your days are numbered!”

  Bolting after the rodent, Stuart puffed and wheezed as he chased the squirrel around the park. For some reason, he couldn’t catch his breath. Normally, he could have run like this for an hour. But then, he reminded himself as he ran, things were not normal. As he pursued the squirrel, which occasionally glanced back at him to launch an insulting squeak, Stuart realized how much he missed running on all fours. Hands were nice and all and certainly had their uses, but running on two legs was a fool’s mission. Or a human’s.

  Watching a grown man chase a squirrel around the park did nothing to improve the women’s opinion of the stranger. Their dogs, however, were beside themselves with excitement.

  “Get ‘em, Stuart!” Marley whooped.

  Next to him, Gizmo could hardly refrain from turning rapid circles. “Andale, andale, amigo! Looking for squirrel fajitas, with peppers and onions!

  “And avocado?” Cupcake inquired.

  Gizmo halted his spinning long enough to reply. “Sin avocado. No bueno for Señorita Pooch.”

  “Who’s ‘Senorita Pooch’?” Cupcake was visibly puzzled.

  “Horacio’s girlfriend.” As he peered down at her there was a hint of sadness in Marley’s voice. “Sometimes I wonder about you, girl.”

  She took no umbrage at the mild reproach. “I’m a Pomeranian, not a brain surgeon.”

  Having recovered from their initial shock, the three women were now enjoying the spectacle.

  “Wow, look at ‘em go!” Wanda slapped a hand down on the table. “Damn, this dude belongs in the NFL chasing running backs. I’ve never seen a man run that fast before.”

  “Only when I ask my husband for money,” Cindy observed. “Do they draft mental cases in the NFL?”

  “Do they draft anyone else?” Nina said.

  They were so busy trading bon mots they failed to remark on the collective sigh their dogs issued as the squirrel rocketed up a tree trunk and out of his pursuer’s reach. Though not bent over from exhaustion, Stuart was breathing hard. But then, so was Freddy. As all squirrels knew, near death experiences, especially those involving pursuing dogs, was exhilarating. It was something fixed in the DNA of both species.

  Cindy’s attention had been drawn away from the last of the chase by the ringtone on her phone. It was Jen, who was looking for the three of them.

  “We’re here at the park,” Cindy informed her friend.

  “I see ya,” came the reply. “I’m here, too. Walking over your way now.”

  Cindy frowned at the phone. “You sound upset. What’s wrong?”

  “You won’t believe what happened.” Jen sounded out of breath. What was it with everyone running to exhaustion today?

  “You’re engaged?” Cindy asked her.

  “No, worse,” came the reply. “Stuart is missing.”

  Putting up her phone, Cindy shielded her eyes, looking to the north toward the parking lot. It took her a moment to spot Jen. At the same time, the realtor zeroed in on her friends and broke into a jog. She arrived at the table out of breath.

  “Jen!” Cindy looked askance at her friend. “What’ve you been doing? You look like you ran all the way from Long Beach. What happened?”

  Leaning on the table, Jen fought to compose herself. Emotionally she was a mess, and she wasn’t in such great shape physically, either, after searching for Stuart all morning.

  “Short version? I came home after work—which went well, by the way—and the front door was open. I could’ve sworn I shut it. Anyway, I went inside and looked everywhere.”

  “Burglary?” was Wanda’s first thought.

  Jen shook her head and droplets of sweat went flying. “Nothing was taken. Everything was where it belonged and it didn’t look like anything had been disturbed. Except—Stuart was gone. Also, a neighbor saw a naked man peeing on my lawn.” Her cheeks bulged. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

  “There’s a strange guy here been asking for you, Jen. Maybe he knows something about Stuart’s whereabouts. I get the feeling he knows you.” She pointed. “You know him?”

  Squinting into the park, the anxious realtor saw a bearded man approaching. His appearance was unfamiliar. As opposed to the grass-stained track suit he was wearing, which was very familiar indeed. She gaped at the stranger.

  “Is he wearing my…?”

  “Track suit!” Nina finished triumphantly. “Ha! I said that was yours.”

  The eyes of the oncoming figure widened as they caught sight of Jen standing beside the table and he broke into a run. Jen’s eyes widened even more as the man leaped and wrapped her in a bear hug. Both expressions were matched by those of her friends as the pair tumbled to the ground and the man began licking their friend’s face.

  “Jen!” Stuart’s joy was boundless. “I’m so glad I found you!”

  Pushing and shoving, she struggled beneath him. “Hey! Get off of me, you freak! And why are you wearing my track suit?”

  Rising from around the table to go to the aid of their besieged friend, the three women did not hear Stuart’s sincere reply.

  “It’s the only thing that fit. Everything else was too small. And too clean.” He smiled happily and plucked at the top of the jumpsuit. “This one smells like you!”

  “Oh my God, you are a freak!” Realization hit and she gaped at him. “Are you the naked man who peed on my lawn?” As her friends gathered around, wondering how best to help, she began hitting him. “Oh my God, you took Stuart! Where is my dog? You better not have hurt him! I’ll make you wish you were dead!”

  With the women striking at him, albeit rather ineffectually, the hapless Stuart curled into a ball. This allowed Wanda to jump in and pull Jen away from him. Cindy took one of Jen’s arms.

  “Okay, okay, let’s all calm down. Nobody knows anything about anything—yet.”

  Nina stepped between the berserking Jen and her target. “Jen! Calmate!”

  Meanwhile, Cindy had let go of Jen and was waving toward a familiar figure in the distance. “There’s Ramos!” Waving and jumping up and down failed to get the officer’s attention.

  Breaking free from her friends’ grasp, Jen started walking as fast as she was able in the policeman’s direction. Left alone for a moment, Stuart sprang to his feet and hurried after her. Looking back and seeing him in pursuit, a panicky Jen accelerated.

  “Help! Officer!”

  Behind her, Stuart was pleading desperately. “Jen, it’s me, Stuart! I don’t know what happened. I don’t know how it happened. I—I don’t even know for sure what I am. But I do know one thing: I’m me. You have to believe me.” He tapped his chest with both open palms, Tarzan-like. “It’s me. Stuart Louis!” He accelerated toward her again.

  She kept backing away, again. Holding out both arms to maintain some distance between them lest he start licking her face anew. At the same time she did her best to sound threatening. She wasn’t very good at it.

  “Look, buddy, I dunno who you are, but you’re gonna go to jail. You stole my dog and my clothes and nobody asked you to fertilize my lawn. I’m pretty sure all three of those things are illegal, even in LA. My dog… he better be okay!”

  Finding the byplay between their friend and the insistent, obviously deranged stranger far more interesting than anything they had seen in weeks, Jen’s friends looked on in silent fascination. Had they taken a moment to look down, they would have noticed that their respective dogs sat side by side, perfectly still and equally entranced.

  “He’s okay,” the most peculiar man insisted. For a second time he danced the Tarzan patter on his chest. “Stuart is here.” There was unmistakable sadness in his voice. He hit himself harder. “He’s in here,” he all but whimpered.

  Something, she was not sure what, made her stop. That same something caused her to peer deeply into the stranger’s eyes. What it was she could not have said. She knew only that at that one moment, at least, she was a little less afraid. But still no less angry.

  “Where? Where is he?” This time she managed to sound, if not threatening, a little intimidating.

  A note of exasperation was starting to creep into the stranger’s voice. Exasperation and frustration. “It’s me Stuart, Jen! Just put a piece of bacon on my nose so I can prove it.”

  She gaped at him. If nothing else, the guy was not your garden-variety nutcase. Considered as a bowl of Fruit Loops, he was definitely missing all the marshmallows.

  “Prove…what?”

  Exasperation finally overcame him. Honestly, humans could be so dense at times. Even Jen. “You have to put the turkey bacon on my nose,” he explained patiently, as if talking to a puppy, “so I can do the trick!”

  Unsurprisingly, she started backing away again. Had they been on the beach, she would have run into the ocean. A glance revealing that Officer Ramos and Ringo were now heading in their direction reassured her. She waved frantically at the cop. Finally seeing her, he picked up the pace, Ringo breaking into an eager trot and ready for action.

  “Officer Ramos!” She alternated her attention between the approaching cop and the stranger imploring before her.

  “Jen! Please!”

  Dropping to his knees, the stranger began—whimpering like a dog. Exactly like a dog. It was at once unsettling and touching. Remembering something important, he began to sing. He had a pleasant, mild tenor, not at all drug-addled.

  “’Stuart, you’re the one who brightens up my day. Stuart, you’re the wind that blows dark clouds away’.”

  She stopped waving at Ramos to stare at the man down on his knees. Not only was the way he was singing striking, so was the prayerful manner in which he held his hands out in front of him, the way his head was cocked to one side, the way…the way…

  Unconsciously, she found herself singing silently along with him, he mimicking the words of the song.

  “Only you can make my heart beat like a drum.” She whispered the lyrics along with him, the two of them perfectly in sync. When the song ended, she could scarcely speak.

  “Who—who are you? How do you know that song? How do you know that I know that song?” A light sea breeze had sprung up, ruffling her hair and his. She had a sudden unnatural urge to comb his dark locks back with her fingers.

  He stared unblinkingly back at her, his voice soft. “It’s me, Jen.”

  He rose. This time she didn’t back away. Just gaped at him. Among her friends there was an outburst of whispering. It was accompanied by unbroken stares and much hand-pointing.

  “Don’t you remember?” Hesitantly, he took a step toward her. “You got drunk last night because Arthur didn’t propose.”

  She could not have fled now had she wished to. In fact, she couldn’t move much at all. She could only stand and gawk. “Who are you? No way you could know that. No way anyone could know that.”

  Noting that the policeman and his dog were now less than a dozen yards away, Stuart continued hurriedly. “You even switched pictures in that locket you’re wearing, with mine.”

  She was shaking her head slowly, gradually being overwhelmed with disbelief. “What do you mean, ‘with yours’? Stuart’s picture is in here. Look, look for yourself.”

  It took her several tries to get a grip on the locket, several more fumbling with the latch to pop it open. Inside was a picture of man. Decent-looking, smiling, all but wagging an unseen tail. It was Stuart, all right.

  The same Stuart who was standing before her now; bipedal, beard, and all.

  Letting out a shriek, she collapsed forward, fainting in his arms. Reaching out, he caught her instinctively. Ramos and Ringo were very close now and he hadn’t a clue what to do next. Ringo was beginning to growl softly. At least Ramos didn’t have his service revolver out. Behind Stuart, Jen’s friends rose as one from their table. Cindy and Nina made no attempt to intervene, but Wanda started forward, gripping her drink cup tightly.

  Marley stepped directly in her path, causing her to nearly trip.

  “Hey! Watch it, dog. Get out of the way!”

  Every time she tried to go around him, Marley somehow managed to get in her path. She tried but was unable to avoid all that fast-moving fur.

  Bending toward the unconscious Jen, Stuart gave her face a long, tender lick in an attempt to rouse her. It was a technique that usually worked and it did not fail him now. Eyelids flickering, she came around to find herself blinking up through half-glazed eyes at—who?

  “Stu—Stuart?” Her voice was weak, a not-uncommon condition among those who have recently suffered serious shock.

  “Yes, it’s me.” He held her firmly, finally finding himself in a situation where hands exceeded paws in efficacy. “Potato head.”

  Half-conscious, her lips trembling slightly, she could do nothing but stare up at the man. At the knowing smile, the bright eyes, the very slightly exposed tongue. He was panting a little and….

  “It is you. Oh my….”

  She fainted afresh. Or more properly, she re-fainted. Difficult to say. Finally finding a way around Marley because the dancing dog stepped on one of his own long braids, Wanda resumed her advance—only to back off as Hector Ramos and Ringo arrived. Ramos didn’t waste any time confronting the man in the oversized shades and pink track suit.

  “What’s going on here?” He jerked a thumb back the way he had come. “I saw Jen waving and came over.”

  “Not sure,” Stuart opined. Jen continued to lie limply in his arms. “I think she’s taking a nap.”

  “Is that a fact? Here, let me see.” Stepping forward, a wary Ramos removed Jen from the other man’s grasp and laid her gently on the ground. “Ms. Jensen? Jen?” Gently, he turned her head from side to side, then checked her pulse. Though everything seemed normal, it wasn’t.

  Using the back of his hand he tapped the unconscious woman first on one cheek, then the other while her friends looked on anxiously. Jen’s eyelids fluttered. With the officer using his right arm to support her, she started to sit up. She recognized Ramos immediately. She also recognized his K9 unit, Ringo. The ferocious police German shepherd was several yards behind his human partner, standing on his hind legs and shaking hands with the man who called himself, who possibly impossibly was, Stuart Louis. As her eyes tried to focus, Ringo gave the Stuart-man a playful lick on the right cheek. Stuart-man promptly licked the German shepherd right back.

  She fainted away for a third time.

  Ringo was whining softly and making happy dog noises. Stuart listened attentively.

  “Stuart, bro, I have never seen a deal like this. I take your explanation for what it’s worth, but himmel! If it happened to me, would I look like Schwarzenegger?”

  “Is he German?” Stuart inquired. “Or a shepherd?”

  “Austrian, if I remember correctly. Sheep not involved.”

  Stuart nodded thoughtfully. “Same thing then, I think. You’d be buff, just like you are now.”

  Dropping back down to all fours, the police dog gazed up at Stuart. “But I’d still bark, I think. Buff-bark, that’d be me. Power eater, power lifter. Don’t believe it’s going to happen, though.”

  “Being human isn’t all that you imagine.” Holding out his hands, Stuart rotated them back and forth at the wrist. “Try running with these things.”

  Jen having regained a semblance of consciousness, Ramos was helping her to her feet. “Fainting could be a sign of dehydration or pregnancy.” Aware that he might just have put his booted foot in it, he hurried to add, “Then again, maybe it’s….”

  She cut him off, excited. “Dehydration! That’s it. I had a few drinks last night (plus a whole additional bottle of wine, you fibber) and whew hoo! Should’ve have mixed it with some fizzy water or juice or something and made spritzers. No wonder I…” She eyed him uncertainly. “I passed out just now, didn’t I?”

  “Several times. Can you stand okay?”

  She nodded, chewed on her lower lip.

  “Then excuse me a minute.” Leaving her by herself, he walked over to where Ringo had the stranger cornered. Good dog, he thought. Doing his job. Although Ramos had seen Ringo herd disreputables before, and something wasn’t quite right this time. The dog seemed awfully relaxed to be on guard. Halting, Ramos looked the stranger up and down. He did not recognize him as someone he had encountered in the park area previously.

  “Fancy looking outfit you got there, cowboy.” Ramos took note of the grass stains. “Been playing some park football?”

  At this Ringo barked sharply. Not at the stranger. At his partner. It threw the officer off-stride and he forgot what he was going to say next.

  Jen came forward to stand beside him. “Uh, that’s—Stuart.” She hesitated. Parts of her brain were still declining to function properly. Hardly surprising, under the circumstances. “An old friend from—college.”

  Ramos frowned. “Stuart? Like your dog?”