“Don’t worry, Karma paid me back by spewing what smelled like raw sewage all over me. The first time I watched, anyway.” Joe kissed her neck before biting it gently like the lover in that story. That fucking story that had made her want to combust.

  “I was wondering what you were doing in the yard naked.” She heard the rumble of the old truck, and Joe practically carried her over and quickly pressed money into the valet’s hand. They caught every red light back to the house, but Joe took the opportunities to kiss her. It made her want to start unbuttoning things before they were anywhere near her place. “Right now I’m interested in a closer view of that one glimpse I got.”

  “Thank God the hose wasn’t full of gunk too.” Joe walked her to the door but didn’t come inside. “And I’m interested in seeing what’s under those sweats.”

  “Please tell me you’re not having second thoughts.” She clung to Joe, not caring how she perceived it.

  “I’m not, but let me run and get my work clothes and lock up, now that the guys are gone. Tomorrow, I don’t want them to see me in the same clothes and say shit about you.” Joe squeezed her ass as she gave her one last kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

  She watched Joe practically sprint across the yard, clearing the low fence like a hurdler. Joe was worried about people talking about her, which was a good sign. “She’s perfect.” Joe was that, and she left her door unlocked as she went in and put their chocolate cake in the refrigerator. They could have it as a snack later.

  The nightgown she’d taken out just in case was upstairs, and she hurried up to put it on but stopped when she heard a commotion outside. This was New Orleans, the city that could throw a parade for anything from insurance conventions to someone getting married, but this was different. She opened the front door, and her mouth literally dropped open.

  “What the hell?”

  Chapter Twenty-four

  The night had been perfect so far, so all she had to do was release DJ and whoever had stayed. Why they wouldn’t just accept a key and come and go like they did in the beginning was mind-boggling, but her supposed giant snake might’ve influenced that change. Now, except for DJ, they did stuff outside until she came downstairs or waited for her to come home before leaving. DJ and two of his guys had started to tile the shower upstairs when she’d left, so hopefully they were close to done.

  “Hey, Joe,” DJ said as he stacked up his tools. “Have a nice time?”

  “I did, so thanks for the recommendation. You guys finished?” She took a second to admire the work, although in that moment they could’ve used the hideous green they just ripped out, trimmed it in purple, and she wouldn’t have cared.

  “Just cleaning up for tomorrow. We’ll be ready for grout by then.”

  There was some noise coming from outside, and Wyatt tried to remember if there was some sort of field or park around. It sounded like cheering for a kids’ soccer game or something like that. It was kind of late for a kids’ activity, though, but right now, she didn’t care. She was interested in getting to Hayley, and that was it. But when she heard DJ’s crew saying, “What the shit?” she went downstairs. She wanted to make sure Hayley was okay.

  Once she was on the porch, she surmised it wasn’t a Little League game or any kind of festive event, but she couldn’t quite figure out what she was looking at. There were people, a lot of people, gathered outside her house with picket signs and torches. Not that the picket signs made any sense, but torches in a place where everything for miles was made from old wood seemed insane. And what she thought was cheering was actually booing and hissing. Who the hell knew that happened outside of children’s books?

  “Is this the antisnake brigade?” she asked DJ when he and the guys joined her outside.

  “No, that would be the militant wing of the historical society who are trying to get accredited like the Vieux Carré Commission.” DJ took his cap off and scratched his head, appearing as confused as her. “Something’s got them in a twist because they sure are pissed.”

  She glanced at the crowd and their signs and banners, and it dawned on her what the problem was. “Do the people in this neighborhood have any idea what a troublemaker Maybelle is? The woman’s a pain in my ass.”

  Most of the signs had to do with miniature golf and how it must be eradicated from the civilized world.

  DOWN WITH PUTT-PUTT! PUTT-PUTT IS OF THE DEVIL! YOU CAN’T RUIN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, FOREIGNER!

  That was the gist of most of the signs, but how anyone could think miniature golf was something evil from Satan needed more explanation on another sign, or they needed to share what they were smoking.

  An old woman with a bullhorn called out, chant-like, “If you think you can bring your weird ways here, we say…”

  “No way,” the mob screamed at the prompt before they went back to booing and hissing. A majority of these people had never been picked to be on the team in school, and it showed.

  “Fucking great,” she said, knowing there was no way to get back to Hayley now. Torches didn’t enhance intimacy. At least, not attached to people wanting to burn you with them.

  “No, not fucking great, buddy.” DJ shook his head as he watched the crowd with wary eyes. “You gotta know these people. They’re zealots who are in no way reasonable when someone puts a turd in their shorts.”

  She laughed despite the major inconvenience. DJ had a way with words she wanted to write down at times, so she could use them in a book. And it couldn’t be denied the situation was funny. Or it would be, another day. And because of that, and because she had a true penchant for messing with people who liked stirring the pot, she wouldn’t disabuse them of the story they’d been told.

  “How charming can you be?” DJ asked.

  “Offering to rip their balls off isn’t going to work this time, huh?” The guys behind them laughed.

  “Not unless you want this to be a permanent thing.” He pointed to a bullhorn lady who seemed to be in charge. “That there is their leader, Roberta Sue Walton, and I’ve always gotten the impression she thinks she’s related to the television family of the same name. She’s nuttier than a squirrel stash, but that’s her posse, and they never get tired of picketing when they think it’s warranted. You got to wonder if they have jobs. Who the hell wants to be complaining about shit all the time?”

  “Like I said, fucking great.” She glanced next door and saw Hayley on her porch with her phone in her hand. Wyatt guessed it had to do with the torches, and she couldn’t blame her for appearing concerned.

  “The thing about this is it don’t make a lick of sense,” DJ said. “They got some major problems with putt-putt golf, but what the hell does that have to do with you?”

  “I may have been messing with Maybelle.” She walked down to her rickety picket fence in the front of the house and waved to the old lady with the bullhorn. “Can I help you?”

  “We’re here to lay down the law.” Roberta Sue spoke in a tone of righteous indignation that was hard to miss, considering she was using the bullhorn even though she was three feet away from her.

  “What law are you talking about? What exactly do you think I’m doing wrong? I can tell you I’ve gotten permits for everything I’ve done.” If she could overcome her fear of snakes, especially big ones, she was seriously thinking of getting one, especially if she could let it loose in the yard. She had to research if Burmese pythons were trainable, right after the rickets search.

  “When you break the laws of the historical society, you’re breaking all laws.” Roberta Sue had probably become a vigilante historical society member only for the use of the bullhorn. Wyatt had no doubts about that. “You need to stop, fall in line, or give the house back to Gator Fuller.”

  “Gator Fuller accepted a check for this place, so that’s not happening.” The crowd hissed at that, and it sounded rather creepy when it was done en masse. “How about you show me the written rules for this section of town, which have been ratified by the city council. Once I see that and know I am, in fact, out of compliance, I’ll rectify things.” She looked at Hayley again and gave her a thumbs-up. This was a major inconvenience, but she didn’t have to ruin their evening. “Can you do that?”

  “We don’t have to write anything down. The rules are the rules, and that’s how it is. You’re dim if you don’t know that.”

  Everyone applauded Roberta Sue like she’d said something as worthy as the Gettysburg Address instead of the complete craziness she’d shared with half the city because of the damn bullhorn. The man next to her waved his devil and putt-putt golf plaque, coming close to clocking Wyatt with it.

  “Okay, so there are no written rules is what you’re saying?”

  They all quieted to hear her question, then yelled a loud “Yeah” back.

  “Then I need you not to block my driveway and stay out of my yard, and I won’t tell the police to charge you for trespassing. If you decide to ignore that, all bets are off.” She spoke loud enough to be heard by everyone. “And for God’s sake, put out the torches before you burn the neighborhood down. This isn’t a Frankenstein movie.”

  “You can’t tell us what to do.” Roberta Sue wasn’t one to give up easily. DJ was right about that. The mob agreed with another yeah. That was the only acceptable answer to everything Roberta Sue said through her megaphone, loud and proud.

  “Ma’am, I’m not telling you not to march. I’m actually a big fan of freedom of expression. What I’m telling you is to keep it on the sidewalk. I’m sure the police will explain it to you when they get here. You might not have written rules, but I’m sure the city has some on open flames. If you’re civil, I think we can work something out. If you think differently, then pack a toothbrush so you’ll have something to make a shiv out of when you have to protect yourself in prison.” She turned and walked back to the porch as she spoke to 911. The threat of police seemed to be the catalyst for Roberta Sue’s mob to calm down and head in the direction of the diner and the town crier, Maybelle.

  Roberta Sue and her boyfriend with the gigantic sign were another story. They stayed on the sidewalk, walking from one end of her property to the other in their own personal protest, and they weren’t going anywhere. Wyatt was just glad the rest of them had left peacefully. What was pissing her off was that she couldn’t take a chance and head to Hayley’s until all this was resolved. She had no proof but could guess Roberta Sue and Maybelle were the same kind of person. Their talent for gossip led to stuff like this, and Hayley didn’t deserve to have that brought to her door.

  “How did you do that? I’m impressed.” DJ slapped her on the back as he and his guys watched the crowd head down the street.

  “I love being the neighborhood entertainment to a point, and I explained that. I was kidding about the miniature golf thing, but now not so much, if only because it will keep their panties in a twist.”

  “Really?” one of the guys said. “I love that shit. We could build a bar in the back, and it’d be awesome.”

  “I called the police and told them about the unruly mob, and I promised them I’d have them arrested if they trespassed, and yes really. Your bar idea might be something to think about.” She answered both their questions, but DJ’s smile was wary and it worried her. “What?”

  “The police are going to send over our neighborhood patrolman, Sergeant Walton.” DJ pointed to the crazy lady with the bullhorn. “That would be Roberta Sue’s grandson, who thinks he’s the chief of police. He’s also very protective of his grandmother. He’s her only grandson, so officially he’s her favorite.”

  “I’m sure they’ve never considered the semantics of the whole situation and how that would make his sisters feel, and again, fucking great. I guess my golf course is going to be a no, if only so I don’t have to get in the middle of their family squabbles. I’ll need to think of something equally obnoxious to put in the yard that will pass muster with the made-up historical society.” This totally sucked. “You guys get going, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Are you sure? Roberta Sue can summon another crowd in nothing flat.” DJ appeared hesitant to go. “You might need witnesses.”

  “If you get here tomorrow and I’m strung up in a tree with a Down with putt-putt sign stapled to my head, make sure you tell the chief it was the Waltons. They should be the top suspects at least, and there’s going to be some shit these people can’t fathom if someone burns my house down. I’m easygoing until someone fucks with me.” She shook hands with all three of them and watched them drive off, all the while keeping an eye on Roberta Sue.

  She took her phone out and called Hayley. “The universe hates me.”

  “Not as much as Roberta Sue hates miniature golf,” Hayley said, laughing. “Good Lord, what is all that about?”

  She watched Hayley on her porch, and it made her almost not care that these idiots could burn the place down. The explanation she gave made Hayley laugh some more. “It was a joke for the love of putt-putt and messing with an old gossip.”

  “Telling Maybelle that was like poking a hornets’ nest, honey. Maybelle and Roberta Sue are rebels looking for a cause. This week it’s you and your somewhat warped sense of humor. You can still come over, though.”

  “I called the police, and now I have to wait.” She was truly stuck now.

  “You called the police?” Hayley’s voice carried enough that she didn’t need the phone. “Are you mad? You’re never getting rid of Roberta Sue now.”

  “Can we just call her Roberta?” Why people needed to go by more than one name was time-consumingly baffling to her.

  “Only if you want Roberta Sue to mace you.” Hayley sighed and said something under her breath. “Okay, wait for the police and then get over here wearing as little clothing as you can get away with.”

  “Believe me, if I have to wait until tomorrow, I’m going to rupture something important. I’ll text you when I’m done in case you’re sleeping. I know you have to work tomorrow. I have the crew coming back to finish tiling the upstairs bathroom and put up more siding.” She waved when Hayley did before she disappeared into the house. The police had obviously deemed her call a nonemergency, so she went in as well, wanting to be comfortable while she waited.

  “Can’t you do anything about this?” she asked her parents. “I think you would’ve found the lightning bolt closet by now if only to visit Blanche.”

  “Are you kidding? This is better than reality television,” her mother said. “I love you to pieces, but not everyone gets your sense of humor, sweetie.”

  “You’re falling down on your guardian angel jobs.” She sat in the front room so she could watch for the police and tried to find a comfortable spot on the rocker since she was still hard from Hayley’s roaming hands and kisses. “There’s only one thing that’ll get my mind off all that.”

  She ran up for the next journal. It was time to find what Sam had been hiding.

  June 1913

  “You deserve the truth, Lydia,” Sam said, taking his hands back. “First off, I love you. Don’t ever doubt that even if you end up hating me.” He stood and walked to the sink and leaned over it as if he might be sick. He appeared to have picked up a boulder he was having trouble carrying. “All I ask is that you give me at least a day before you tell your father.”

  “Sam…honey, you’re scaring me. I’ve been trying to get you going, not turn you over to the law.” Lydia stood and placed her hands on his back. “I wouldn’t be doing that if I didn’t care about you.”

  Sam was stiff but almost vibrating with tension, making Lydia think he’d rather set his hair on fire than tell her he cared and wanted a future with her. “What I said about my father is true. My mother died when I was seven, and it was just me and him after that. I skipped school often to help him in the fields, and we went on like that for years until I turned seventeen.”

  “And then he died?” Lydia asked softly, and he nodded. She led Sam back to the table and sat next to him. “You said you enlisted.”

  “I did, and they shipped me to a place in Georgia for training. The work was hard, but I was used to it, and not complaining about it got you promoted.” He spoke as if the answers were written on the tabletop and he couldn’t break his attention from it.

  She stood and put her arms around him from behind. Like before he leaned in to her, seeming to enjoy the feel of her. No matter what he told her, she doubted she’d give him up. “Tell me, sweetheart.”

  “Three years in one of the guys I served with wasn’t paying attention and dumped a pallet of boxes on me, and I ended up with this limp when my leg broke in a couple of places.” He put his arms around her when she sat on his lap, and he seemed to find the courage to finish when she pressed her hand to his cheek. “When I came here, Lester and his family took me in since it was his brother who helped me recover in the Army hospital.”

  “They’re a really nice family. Lester and his brother worked for Papa, making deliveries in the summers when we weren’t in school.”

  “They are, and I thought having an adopted family was all I’d have…until I saw you. If you believe I’ve been indifferent when it comes to you, that’s completely wrong. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, but you’re so much more.” The way Sam smiled at her made it impossible not to kiss him, so she did. “You’re strong, you aren’t afraid to stand your ground, and you’ve stolen my heart.”

  “Then why have you pushed me away? That really hurt.”

  “You don’t understand, Lydia. When my father died, had I stayed with my grandparents, they would’ve forced me into the first marriage they could’ve arranged. It’s what they tried to talk my father into from the minute I turned fifteen because they didn’t agree with how he was raising me.”

  “To be honorable and hardworking? What’s wrong with that?” All of this was so confusing, but rushing Sam might make him clam up again.