‘Oh please! You’ve only known him five minutes. You might find you have lots in common. You both love art and stuff. Poor Tremaine was bullied by his dad and could never take up his dream. You could help him make some pots and shit.’

  ‘I don’t think making shit would be very pleasant,’ I offer, deadpan.

  ‘Stop hiding behind humour,’ Jas says, equally straight-faced, through her eyes are twinkling. ‘You know I’m right, but just can’t bring yourself to say so and go for it, can you?’

  I think of the cork on the ocean’s storm again. ‘Oh, I don’t know, Jas. It’s a big step, and I really am scared about getting hurt again.’ There’s a tremor in my voice and I wash it down with some wine.

  ‘Of course you are! Anything worth having isn’t easy.’ She sits forward, elbows on knees. ‘But you have to think of the present. Not the yesterday or the tomorrow. It’s no good to dwell on stuff – go forward with hope and you won’t go far wrong. Happiness is worth fighting for – Victoria said so. Or if she didn’t, that’s what she meant.’

  I look at her earnest little face surrounded by a tumble of red curls, her eyes beseeching, her smile tentative. And just like that, the barrier is gone. The cork is floating on calmer waters and the sun’s coming out. I nod and smile. ‘Okay, you got me.’

  She jumps up. ‘So, you’ll look for the glass and go to the ball?’

  ‘I’m not Cinderella.’

  ‘Answer the question.’

  I sigh. ‘Yep, okay.’

  Jasmine punches the air, bounds over like an excited puppy and launches herself at me. ‘Yes!! I am so pleased. You won’t regret it; I can feel it in my water.’

  I’m suffocated under a cloud of curls. I spit a few strands of her hair out and push her off. ‘Hey, that’s enough; you’re strangling me!’

  Jas laughs and does as I ask, flopping back down on the sofa, her face beaming like a harvest moon. Sometimes she infuriates me, because we are too alike, but I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s always there for me, whether I need her or not, and mostly I do. The relationship is reciprocal, both of us trying our best for the other. Talking about happiness, it’s about time she found her own, and as we sip our wine, I remember what the psychic Nancy Cornish said in the pub.

  ‘All this talk about finding your happiness and fighting for it malarkey? How about you?’ I say.

  ‘How about me what?’

  ‘How about you find yours? You had a similar experience with Carl as I had with Josh, and it’s time to let Rob make you happy.’ Expecting Jasmine to dismiss this as usual, I’m intrigued to see heat flare in her cheeks. She shuffles on the sofa, puts her glass down and then picks it up again, obviously flustered. ‘Something’s happened between you, hasn’t it?’ I say with glee, leaning forward, trying to perfect my own expression of inquisition.

  ‘Not yet. But he has asked me out,’ she says in a shy, non-Jasmine-like way.

  ‘Oh my God! And you said yes?’

  ‘Er … yeah.’

  It’s my turn to punch the air. ‘Whoop! Why the hell didn’t you tell me?’

  The shuffling again. ‘’Cos I wanted to keep it quiet until I knew it was going somewhere. There was no point in getting your hopes up if he turns out to be just a player.’

  ‘Nancy Cornish didn’t seem to think he is. She said he had strong feelings for you.’

  ‘Hm. That’s what made me say yes, to be honest. The whole thing makes me nervous.’

  ‘Why?’

  Jasmine starts to say something, then her eyes slide away from mine and she shrugs.

  I can tell she feels embarrassed to say what it is, so I prompt, ‘Because you have been hurt once recently and don’t want to get hurt again? Because you’re not sure if you have enough in common and that might come between you?’

  I get a half-death stare. ‘Okay, yes, touché.’

  ‘See! It’s not easy, is it?’

  ‘Never said it was.’ Jasmine lifts her chin and draws her lips into a tight pucker. ‘I think you’ll find that I actually said something like: nothing worth having is easy, and happiness is worth fighting for.’

  I bite back a giggle and say, ‘No. The fighting for happiness bit you are referring to, I think you’ll find, was Victoria.’

  She flings her arms up. ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, can we change the subject?’

  ‘No. I want to know how it all happened – him asking you out, I mean.’ I count my questions off on my fingers. ‘One, where were you when he asked you? Two, were you surprised and what did you say? Three, where are you going on the date? And four, did you find out why he’d been horrible to you in the past? Nancy said he’d done it to keep you at arm’s length for some reason.’

  Jasmine sighs. ‘Any more questions before I begin?’

  I pretend to think. ‘Um, no. No, that’s it for now.’

  ‘Right. We were walking on the beach handing out flyers to surfers. Think I told you he was impressed by this idea – said it was inspired.’ Jasmine gives a proud smile. ‘Anyway, we got talking and he just asked me, out of the blue. To answer another of your questions, yes, I was bloody gobsmacked! Okay, I know what Nancy said, but sometimes psychics get things wrong, don’t they?’

  I shrug. ‘No clue about side-kicks.’

  ‘Oh, ha-ha.’ She smiles. ‘I said I didn’t know, as it was all a bit sudden, and I brought up the way he’d been with me until recently.’

  ‘Oooh. What exactly did you say?’ I pop in the kitchen to make a cuppa and she follows me in.

  ‘I don’t know exactly, but something like: “How come you couldn’t stand me all last year then? Whenever you came in the shop, you’d criticise me and snap at me when I asked questions. I could hardly believe it when I got the job and you were actually nice to me on the day of the interview.”’

  ‘Good. Best to get it all out in the open before you fall in love and get married.’

  One of Jasmine’s best withering looks come my way. If I’d been a plum, I’d now be a prune. ‘Anyway, Rob didn’t beat about the bush, he stopped at the top of the slope overlooking Fistral Beach and led me to a table at the café. We sat down, ordered coffee and then he told me exactly why he’d been the biggest shit in Cornwall – his words – with me over the past year.’

  ‘Well, at least he was honest, didn’t try to deny the way he’d acted.’ We go back to the living room with our drinks.

  ‘Yes. He does seem very honest.’ Jasmine smiles and I can tell by the warmth in her eyes that she already likes him, a lot. ‘Turns out he was in a relationship when he first met me. The girlfriend, Louise, was very controlling, apparently. He didn’t go into too much detail, but she was always checking up on him, demanding he call her four times a day. Stuff like that. Rob said she was killing any love he had for her, but he was scared of leaving her, as he was worried she might harm herself.’

  ‘Oh, no. Did she say she would?’

  ‘Think so. As I say, he didn’t elaborate.’ Jasmine takes a sip of tea and stares into space.

  ‘And?’

  ‘And he said he was very attracted to me from the first day we met but found out from general conversation that I was with someone. Then when he heard on the grapevine that Carl and I split up, he was going to pluck up courage and make a clean break with Louise, despite the worry, as everything was going from bad to worse with her. But a friend of his said it might be inappropriate for him to ask me out as he was my boss. The power relationship thing, you know? I might only say yes to him as I would feel under pressure.’

  ‘Honest and moral. You have a good one there.’

  Jasmine raises an eyebrow. ‘I’ll remind you that I don’t have him at all, yet. We haven’t even been out on a date.’

  ‘Yeah, but you will and it will all be wonderful,’ I say with a giggle and take a sip of tea. ‘Anyway, you haven’t said why he was horrible to you, or what happened with Louise.’

  She folds her arms. ‘That’s because you keep interrupting.’ Making herself more comfortable on the sofa, she continues. ‘Rob was horrible because he was pushing me away – keeping me at arm’s length. He didn’t set out to do it, it just happened. He reckons it was the only way he could stop himself from telling me how he felt. It made him totally miserable. But then out of the blue a few weeks back, Louise said it wasn’t working between them anymore and she’d met someone else!’

  ‘Excellent! And when you got the manager’s post, the last hurdle fell. There wouldn’t be the unequal power relationship there, so he pounced on you!’

  Jasmine laughs. ‘Hardly pounced, but yes.’

  ‘So where are you going on your date, and when?’

  ‘Out for a meal at the Golden Lion, and it’s tomorrow.’ Jasmine puffs her cheeks out and pretends to retch. ‘I’m SO nervous. I can’t decide what to wear, for a start.’

  ‘You’ll be fine. I’ll help you decide, and you can message me if you like in between courses when you pop to the loo. I’ll be there for moral support.’

  The confident Jasmine that is present the majority of the time has fled the room leaving a worried child in her place. ‘Oh God, Sen. What if it all goes wrong? I’ll still have to work with him and it will be so awkward … but I really like him already too.’

  ‘Look, just be yourself. Stop worrying about what you’re wearing, if it’s going to work and stuff, and remember what Nancy the side-kick said. So far, she’s been bang on.’ I finish my tea. ‘We’re in the same boat, aren’t we? You and Rob, me and Tremaine. Both got tons of baggage round our necks and fears of rejection. But let’s channel the spirit of Victoria and my gran, Morwenna, and we won’t go far wrong.’

  Jasmine nods. ‘Okay. And you’ll be there for me tomorrow on WhatsApp if I need you?’

  ‘I will. You must do the same for me on Saturday when I’m at this bloody party with loads of people I don’t know. Well, apart from Tremaine, and I don’t know him very well, do I?’ The thought of it makes my stomach turn over, and doubts start gnawing at the edges of my confidence.

  Jasmine’s looking thoughtful again and nods slowly a couple of times. ‘Unless Rob and I come with you? I could do with having a closer look at this Tremaine fellow. You’re my best and oldest friend and I need to know if his intentions are honourable.’

  This idea sends a rescue package of relief and comfort to my mind, and I say, ‘Yes! That would be the perfect solution. I’m sure Tremaine won’t mind, as it’s a party. It’s not as if there’ll be just the two of us. I’ll phone him tomorrow and ask.’

  Chapter Thirteen

  A seagull swoops down for the remains of my sandwich, and I send it away with a yell and a swipe. Cheeky bugger nearly took my finger with it. It sits on a rock and gulps down the mouthful of ham and mustard on rye it managed to steal, while I shove the crust that’s left back into my lunchbox. Having lived in Polzeath all my life, I should have known better than to sit on the beach with food on show. It’s a cold bright day and the tourists have long gone, taking their easy pickings with them. I would have known better if I’d not been stewing over the phone call with Tremaine I had earlier, and decided to eat my lunch on the beach to blow the cobwebs away. Or blow my frustrations away, more like.

  Stuffing the lunchbox into my rucksack I set off along the beach as fast as the deep sand will allow, determined to leave behind the memory of the lacklustre and, at times, rude response Tremaine had to my request. The memory tags along however, quickly overtakes me and slips into the forefront of my thoughts, just as I stop to get my breath and watch the waves on the sun-dappled ocean rolling to shore.

  Tremaine had been all sweetness and light when he’d first answered the phone, delighted that I’d called and he told me I’d been in his thoughts often. This encouraged me, so I’d told the truth and asked him if it was okay for Jasmine and Rob to tag along to the party as I was a bit nervous not knowing anyone. There was an awkward silence and then he’d said, ‘Of course. But there really isn’t anything to fear. My friends aren’t ogres, you know.’ That threw me. It wasn’t really what he said, but the tone of his voice could have kept a trawler’s catch fresh on a July day.

  I’d replied with something like, ‘Oh, I know. It’s just that I would feel less like a spare part.’

  ‘A spare part? You must think little of me if you’d think I would leave you on your own, for goodness’ sake.’ He’d tempered this short shrift with a little laugh, but it had sounded forced, reluctant.

  I suck in a big breath of salt air, shove my hands into the pockets of my parka and consider not going at all, for the umpteenth time. A breeze picks up a few waves and drops them with a splash at my feet, and as it passes by, it nips my cheeks with icy fingers. A laughing dog lollops into the sea without a care for the temperature, or the commands from its owner – a round lady splashing towards it in red wellies and bundled in a hat and scarf. I decide to move on before the dog includes me in an impromptu shower once it returns to shore.

  Frustration lands a few kicks at sand and pebbles as I march back up the beach. To go to the party or not? That’s the question. Tremaine and I had ended the call amicably enough, once I’d reassured him that I knew he wouldn’t leave me alone all evening, and if it were a problem, I’d tell Jas and Rob not to come. He’d waved that aside, told me he was very much looking forward to seeing me and changed the subject. Even so, there was an awkwardness underlying the conversation, unwelcome as a stone stuck in a shoe. If I go, I risk the whole thing being a disaster if his friends are a lot of entitled snobs who spend the evening looking down their snouts at me. Even if I have Jas and Robert to fall back on, I’m not a great actress, so won’t be able to pretend convincingly, and Tremaine will see through it.

  If I don’t go, I’m giving in to my insecurities, placed there in part by Josh dumping me. I have to admit that I’ve never been the most confident person in the world, and the little I did have has taken a knock. Then, as I leave the beach and set off along the street to the shop, Morwenna and Victoria appear in my mind’s eye and give me encouraging smiles. Two strong women who were unafraid to take risks to find happiness, who stood up to be counted. It’s time I took a leaf out of their books – Victoria’s quite literally. She and Callum were worlds apart, just as much as me and Tremaine. Maybe even more, given the time she was living in. Did it stop her? No. Was she determined to do what her heart told her to, and bugger the consequences? Yes. I sigh and start off up the beach again. I’m a bloody wimp who needs to grow a backbone. In that moment, I make a decision to go to the damned party, and nothing is going to change it.

  Why didn’t I ask Tremaine about dress code? I sit on the edge of my bed and look at the mountain of clothes and discarded tangle of hangers sticking out from under it, like the legs of an alien spider. I could ring and ask him now, but that would make me look incompetent. The taxi will be here in half an hour and I should be ready by now. Besides, he might laugh and say there is no dress code, then I’d feel stupid for asking. Damn it. I want to look nice, but not as if I’ve tried too hard. There’s no way I want to turn up in an evening dress only to find it’s smart-casual, or even just casual. How do I know what these city types wear to housewarming parties? The words ‘different worlds’ have been popping into my mind quite a lot lately when I’ve thought of this evening, and now they are in my head again.

  When I’d helped Jasmine chose her outfit for her first date with Robert the other night, she’d asked what I would be wearing this evening, and I’d been blasé and cool about it. I cringe now as I remember telling her that I’ll decide at the last minute and it is no biggie. She’d tried to hide a wry smile and a ‘yeah right’ expression. Jasmine knows me so well. At least her date went really well. They’d had a wonderful time and really hit it off, apparently. I’m over the moon for her, because it’s about time she had someone nice in her life. I’m also over the moon they will both be there tonight too because I’m not sure I’d cope on my own. I mean, look at me, I can’t even dress myself, for God’s sake.

  I release a long sigh, look at the mountain again and decapitate the summit by removing a sparkly navy top and a pair of black trousers. They will be a halfway house between evening dress and smart-casual. I’ll pair the trousers with my high-heeled red boots – it’s not as if I have to run for a bus, after all – and I’ll leave my hair loose for once. The plait it’s been in since I washed it this morning will have put some nice waves in it. Then I add some smoky eye-liner, pink lip-gloss, my favourite dangly turquoise earrings and I’m done.

  By the time the taxi crunches up the gravel drive at Nancarrow House and pulls up under the floodlights, my stomach is on fast spin. Excitement is outstripping anxiety at the moment, and I’m looking forward to seeing Tremaine. As the taxi pulls away, he appears in the doorway, and my excitement accelerates, along with my attraction to him. Dark trousers, an open-necked light blue shirt, his hair almost golden under the lights, and those eyes, turquoise as the ocean’s shallows on a summer’s day. A slow smile lights up his face and he hurries forward to greet me.

  ‘You look absolutely beautiful,’ he says as he kisses me on both cheeks. His cologne hints at bergamot and cinnamon and his eyes sweep my face in an appreciative gaze. I want him to try and kiss me again.

  ‘You look very handsome yourself, Tremaine.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He runs a hand gently down the waves in my hair. ‘Your hair out of its plait is incredible, and your eyes are –’ Tremaine strokes a finger down my cheek – ‘simply stunning.’

  My stomach is no longer on a spin cycle, but in a tight knot as heat floods through me. When his forearm brushes mine as he links arms with me, every hair stands on end and a wave of electric energy crackles along my skin. Tremaine leads me inside where a gaggle of guests are in the kitchen laughing and drinking. They all have very plummy accents and exude the kind of confidence associated with their class, but I notice a couple of women are in evening dress, though most are smart-casual like me, and I feel instantly better. He introduces me in passing, and they lift a hand in a wave, or nod and smile as we walk through into the living area. It’s empty in here and Tremaine closes the double doors behind him and leans his back against them.