He handed her Ben, who fought the move for a second, but settled down as she walked over to the bed and handed him Turtle. He pouted while he curled up with his stuffed animal and scooted up to one of the pillows.

  “Why can’t I just read for myself what he wrote? I read most of the texts, so I have a pretty good idea what it’s going to say.”

  Doug opened the paper up again and looked at it. There were a number of emotions swirling in his eyes, but they seemed to be fueled mostly by anger. “How close were you and that other nurse?”

  “What nurse?” Lizzie was confused why they were talking about her old job.

  “The one who liked kinky sex. I don’t know if I ever got her name, but she walked me out.”

  “Maddie? I wouldn’t say we were too close, but we usually worked the same shifts.”

  Doug folded the paper back up and tucked it into one of the back pockets of his shorts. Walking slowly over to the bed, he sat down next to Lizzie and sighed.

  “I guess it’s good you weren’t close, but that probably won’t make this any easier. The paper is actually a picture with words written across it.”

  Lizzie felt sick, because she knew what was coming next. He wouldn’t ask about Maddie if the picture didn’t have to do with her, and it clearly involved Tommy.

  “Is she dead?” Lizzie asked when Doug didn’t immediately finish what he was saying.

  “I’m not medically inclined, but there’s a lot of blood.” Doug emphasized the lot. “And the cuts I can make out look deep. I know Dylan lived through Steph stabbing him, but I think this is different.”

  Lizzie sensed there was something else about the picture that left little doubt in his mind. She wasn’t sure how to feel about the news. She’d been shelled out when she found out Tommy was around, and she didn’t know if there was anything left in her to deal with devastating news. It felt like she should cry, but the part of her brain in charge of her tear ducts seemed empty.

  “What did it say?” Lizzie didn’t want to know, but she had to.

  “It basically just threatened there was more to come. The police will find him and stop him, though, so don’t worry.”

  At least Doug wasn’t rushing to her cell phone to call Tommy out. He’d taken the situation seriously by not letting her leave the house, but a dead body turning up underscored how dangerous Tommy was.

  “But until they do, basically everyone I know is in danger. Including everyone leaving your house.”

  “I’m sure Casey will take care of filling everyone in on the basics. She’s good about teaching others to be aware of their surroundings and the best ways to fend off a knife-wielding lunatic.”

  That didn’t make Lizzie feel any better. At the very least, everyone she’d met had become an acquaintance, and she could see people like Annie and Casey maybe becoming friends. Putting a target on them for a killer wasn’t exactly the best way to start a friendship.

  “How long do you think it will be before we can leave?” Lizzie was scared to leave the house, but the police needed to see the picture. There was a chance something about it would lead them to Tommy. At least that was what Lizzie hoped, since she hadn’t seen the photo herself.

  “We can probably go now. I wish he hadn’t fallen asleep, but we should get this over with.”

  Lizzie followed Doug’s gaze to Ben, who had no clue about the turmoil going on in his mother’s head. She was happy he was so young. If he’d been a few years older, he’d feel the tension and have all sorts of questions.

  “We should put his car seat in your car, unless you want to drive mine.” When Doug had retrieved her phone, he also took her keys and pulled her car into the garage. She wouldn’t have thought about switching if they had to spend a lot of time out in the open.

  “I’d prefer that. If you carry him, I’ll make the change.” Doug looked back at her and she hated to see the concern in his eyes. “I’m worried about you. I expected a little more reaction when I told you one of your coworkers was dead. I didn’t think it’d be like after you started getting texts, but I thought there’d be something.”

  “So did I. I think I’m compartmentalizing things right now. Eventually it’s going to hit me, but right now I need to keep my wits.” It was the only thing that made sense to Lizzie.

  “Okay, just try not to bottle up too much. I’m here to take some of the burden so things don’t get too overwhelming.”

  She tried to smile, but it didn’t work. She wanted to fill the police in on the newest threat, and then come back to Doug’s so he could hold her in his arms. She felt safe there, and whether they got a protective detail or not, she needed him to reassure her with his touch. Tommy had taken things to another level, but there had to still be some reluctance on his part if he hadn’t stormed in to take on Doug.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Not surprisingly, the police were interested to hear what they had to say about their active crime scene. They had to spend an hour at the station, as they continued to grill both Doug and Lizzie about Tommy’s whereabouts. It seemed they were being a little rough on Lizzie. Doug understood they were trying to solve a murder, which they had verified, but he had to repeatedly tell the detectives that Lizzie was a victim too.

  After they were able to escape the questioning, they’d made it back to his house and he held Lizzie close to him the rest of the night. She never broke down, but he was there for anything she needed. It was hard for him to sleep, and even though they remained quiet for most of the night, he doubted she got much sleep either.

  Ben had started stirring before Lizzie found anything she felt needed to be discussed. She made a few false starts before she was able to get the words out.

  “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’ve been thinking I should get a will made and I need to name a guardian for Ben. It’s Sunday, so we probably won’t get anywhere today, but I’d feel a lot better if you had some rights to him if anything happens to me.”

  Doug was rendered speechless. If his arms weren’t wrapped snugly around Lizzie’s torso, he would’ve tried to pinch himself, because he had to be dreaming.

  “Like I said, I know it’s a lot to ask, especially of a single guy, but part of me is afraid Tommy would somehow get custody. I know he’ll more than likely be in jail, but I have to try to cover my bases. I just feel like you’d be able to protect him better than my parents.” She was rambling, so Doug knew he needed to come up with something to say.

  Lizzie had explained that she’d cut ties with her parents when she ran from Tommy. It sounded like they were gone from her life before that, since they hadn’t attended her wedding. She also explained that they were doctors who didn’t have much of a home base, choosing to travel to other countries with a group of other doctors.

  “It’s not that it’s a lot to ask.” Doug rested his head on top of hers and took a deep breath. “I already told you I’d do anything for you. I just thought that we’d eventually talk about whether you’d be okay with me adopting him after we got married. That sounds like wishful thinking on my part, but it’s something that crossed my mind.”

  During his babysitting stints, Doug had a lot of time to think about what it would be like to have a son. A little guy to teach all the various things he’d learned over his twenty-six years. How to tie shoes. What movies were worth watching. The right way to treat a woman. Maybe even how to play hockey.

  He saw a future of doing all those things with Ben, but he also saw Lizzie there with them, contradicting him when she didn’t understand what it was like to be a guy. She was asking him to be there for Ben, but in her scenario she wasn’t there.

  “You’ve already thought about us getting married?”

  If she thought that was confusing, which her tone clearly indicated, she needed to spend a little time in Doug’s head. Before, there had been notions of the life he eventually wanted. It was never really the white picket fence kind of thing, just generalizations about sharing space with another person.

  One of the reasons he knew Lizzie was “the one” was because a picture of their life together had worked its way into his head. He could see them having food fights in the kitchen, obviously started by him. He saw them taking strolls through the botanical gardens a mile away from his house, because she loved flowers. Most cliché out of everything playing out in his head, he saw them sitting on a front porch in rocking chairs.

  “Scary, huh? After what you’ve been through, I imagine you don’t want to get married again.”

  Lizzie was quiet. Her breathing remained steady, so Doug wasn’t worried about her having a panic attack. There was a chance if he said something really stupid, everything would overwhelm her. She was the one who’d brought up the topic of naming him Ben’s guardian, so she couldn’t shy away from his thoughts on the subject.

  While he waited, his gaze wandered over to Ben, who was sprawled out on Doug’s usual side of the bed. His left hand was balled in a fist as it rubbed his eyes. It was almost eight o’clock, so he’d slept for over twelve hours. He’d woken up for a little bit while they were dealing with the police, but it was only to go to the bathroom and have a pudding cup.

  “Mommy.” His eyes weren’t open yet, but the hand not rubbing his face reached out for Lizzie.

  “I’m here, sweetie. Do you need to go potty?”

  If Ben didn’t have to go, he had the bladder the size of an oil drum. Doug loosened his hold, so Lizzie could get up and see to the toddler. She didn’t move at first, but eventually Ben groaned a response and she reached over to pick him up.

  Doug watched as the two of them walked away from him. It was probably good that Ben had interrupted the conversation. If it went on any longer, Doug was going scare Lizzie away. Part of him thought that the only reason she was still with him was because she was scared to leave. He couldn’t blame her for that.

  “Good morning, Daddy,” Ben said as he ran out of the bathroom. He came up to the side of the bed and reached his arms up for Doug to pick him up.

  “Did you sleep good?” Doug asked as he swung him up onto his lap. He couldn’t help the smile that crawled across his face.

  “Yes.” Ben twisted around so he was on his knees facing Doug and kissed his cheek. “Did you sleep good?” He sounded out the words slowly as he repeated Doug’s words.

  “Let’s just say I’m probably going to take a nap today. Do you think I can borrow Turtle?”

  Ben looked over to his stuffed animal and nodded. “Turtle likes you.”

  “That’s good to hear, because I like him too. What’s your mommy doing?” Doug had kept an eye on the bathroom door, but Lizzie didn’t reappear.

  “She crying,” Ben whispered.

  It surprised Doug how much Ben picked up from the adults around him. He supposed the other two-year-olds he knew may be the same way, but he hadn’t heard any secrets from them that were more than silly whispers about their favorite toys.

  “That’s not good. Do you know why she’s crying?” Doug kept his voice quiet.

  Ben shook his head. “She sad.”

  “What do you think would make her happy?” Doug wanted to rush into the bathroom and try to comfort her, but she’d had all night to fall apart in his arms. She deserved to have a little space after he’d been smothering her.

  “Pancakes.” Ben sounded sure of himself.

  “Pancakes, huh? I bet we could make some of those, but you have to stir.”

  Ben mimicked a stirring motion as Doug picked him up and headed towards the kitchen. He made sure to step loud enough that Lizzie could hear them walking out of the room.

  “Is there anything else you can think of that would make her feel better?”

  Doug set Ben on the center island and motioned with his finger that he wanted him to stay put. Ben’s face was scrunched up as he thought about Doug’s question. He didn’t look like he was about to leap off the counter, so Doug started gathering the things they needed.

  Doug wasn’t about to make something from scratch. It wasn’t that he couldn’t look up a recipe and whip it up. He just preferred the mix you added water to, which is why he had a couple boxes in the cupboard. He pulled out the open box and found a bowl big enough for what he was sure would be some messy stirring.

  “Kisses?” Ben was a little less sure of the idea.

  Doug had started to focus on the pancakes and almost forgot what they were talking about. He put his haul on the center island so he could grab measuring cups and water.

  “I think she likes it when you give her kisses. Maybe we should try tickling her too. I know you’re ticklish, is she?”

  Doug poured two cups of water in the bowl and started to measure out the pancake mix. Ben had a whisk in his hand, ready for his part of the breakfast preparation.

  “Maybe. But you kiss. She like that.”

  “I think she likes yours more. Maybe we should sneak attack her and both kiss her.” Doug wiggled his eyebrows and Ben giggled.

  “Okay. Me stir?”

  The mix was soaking into the water as Ben waited for his cue. The kid had great control.

  “Yes, you can stir. Are you okay to do that while I get out the pan so we can get it warmed up?”

  Ben simply nodded as he went to work. Doug had been afraid he was too little to mix it, and he probably was, but he gave it his all. The tall-sided bowl was definitely needed. The center island was probably going to still need a scrub as Ben wasn’t big on keeping the whisk in the bowl.

  Doug chuckled to himself as he took out an electric skillet. It was big enough to make eight good-sized pancakes, which was necessary when half the team came over after morning practice for breakfast. The quicker you could crank out a hundred flapjacks the better when you had hungry hockey players around.

  After plugging it in, he rested his hands on the cool granite counter for a second and talked himself out of going to check on Lizzie. It was hard not to try to fix everything. He’d explained to her he did that with everyone, but it had to be awkward to go from having no one to having a person wanting to be everyone.

  His mind was rambling along as much as Lizzie had been when she tried to explain her request to name him Ben’s guardian. That’s what happened when he was left to imagine what was going on in the other room.

  “Ready,” Ben announced, holding the whisk up. Batter dripped down onto him and the counter beneath him.

  “Someone’s going to need a bath. Let’s see how you did.” Doug was a bit alarmed when he noticed there was also batter in Ben’s hair.

  “No bath.”

  “Yes, bath. If you don’t wash that out of your hair the birds are going to think you’re lunch.”

  Doug held out his hand to claim the whisk. The batter didn’t look horrible, but there were a few too many lumps. He quickly whisked it into a smooth batter before Ben had a chance to ponder the threat of birds pecking at him.

  “Let’s get these cooking. Think you can watch from over here?” Doug could’ve moved him to the counter by the skillet, but baby plus hot skillet didn’t compute.

  “Okay, but no birds.”

  Doug laughed as he walked over to get the pancakes going. “I suppose you’re safe in here from the birds, but you are going to have to take a bath after breakfast. I imagine you don’t mix with syrup any better than batter.”

  He hoped Ben didn’t have his heart set on feeding himself. They didn’t have a high chair or booster seat of some sort, so the only place Ben would be able to sit and eat was the coffee table. As far as Doug knew, he didn’t have plastic sheathing in the garage to cover the couch, so he preferred to find an alternative.

  “You’re going to be the one giving him a bath, right?” Lizzie’s voice sounded normal, so Doug smiled over his shoulder at her standing in the doorway, instead of showing the worry he felt inside.

  “Sure. I can’t promise we won’t make a bigger mess, though. We’ll have to see if I have any bubble bath.” He winked over at Ben and then turned back to his pancakes. “Everything okay?”

  Doug at first thought he’d be able to play off his concern, but Lizzie didn’t look like she’d been crying. Her face was a little pale, but other than that, she looked normal. Since he’d seen the scarlet red her face turned when she let the tears fall, he’d pictured her with a little more color to her when she finally emerged. It’d only been about ten minutes, so he wasn’t sure if she’d been able to get everything all out, or if she’d really even started.

  “Yeah, thanks for giving me a little time. I’ve decided to take you up on your offer.” Doug heard her voice move as she walked over to Ben.

  He was in mid-flip, so he had to finish before he could turn around and ask her what she meant. He played back through their conversation and was having trouble coming up with any offers. He knew the conversation scattered around a bit, but he thought he would’ve remembered asking something.

  “Can you fill me in on what offer you mean?” he asked as he flipped the last pancake and turned around to face her and Ben. She was brave enough to have her arms wrapped around him.

  “Getting married. You’re putting your life in danger, and most of your closest friends’ lives. I think it’s the least I can do for all you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t even have clothes to wear right now if it wasn’t for your friends.”

  Doug groaned. He meant for it to be an internal rumble, but it echoed from his chest. As much as he loved Lizzie, she clearly didn’t have a clue when it came to real relationships, not that Doug had a lot of experience himself.

  “I’d come over there and wrap you up in my arms, but one person in this house should probably stay clean. Look, Lizzie, I technically didn’t ask you to marry me.”

  “But you said you’ve thought about it and it’s something you want,” she interrupted before he could finish.

  He slowly nodded his head. “Yes, I would love to marry you, but we’ve only known each other for a few days and there’s too much going on for you to enter into marriage freely. I don’t want you marrying me because you feel it’s your duty. It’s not. I enjoy having you two here, even though the circumstances stink. You don’t have to come up with ways to repay me.”