She trails off and shakes her head. She starts crying and her shoulders shake with a quiet panting sob.

  “You’re the only person I want to have in my life more than anything but I always ruin it. I don’t know how to hold onto you. I don’t know how to be your friend. I get jealous when I know I shouldn’t. I feel insignificant, even when you’re going to battle for me. I don’t know how to be secure in my friendship with you.”

  “So, your solution is to steal our semen and impregnate yourself with our child? How many times do I have to tell you that I like having you as my friend before you actually believe me? Did you really think you needed to do this to ensure you’d never lose me? Did you really think the only way to stay in my life is to have my child?”

  “No, I don’t know. I told you, I went crazy. It doesn’t even make any sense to me. But you don’t have to worry about it.”

  My adrenaline rushes through me so quickly it forces me up on my feet again. Shane startles and falls back in the chair with a terrified look on her face.

  “What do you mean, I don’t need to worry about it?” She looks at me confused, and slowly sits forward again. “I took care of it.”

  “What do you mean, you took care of it?”

  “I took the morning after pill.”

  “You fucking bitch!”

  I lunge forward and Sara rushes into the room and catches me around the waist as I’m stepping up on the coffee table to leap at Shane. Sara wrestles me down to the couch and holds me firmly.

  “You killed my child! How could you kill my child? How could you do this to me?”

  I start crying so hard that I start hyperventilating. I can’t breathe. Sara pulls me up and lifts my arms above my head, opening my airways. I gasp for air, but I know I’m not getting enough air. I’ll probably blackout in a minute. I look Shane straight in the eyes.

  “How could you do this to me? You know what children mean to me. You know I’d give my life to protect a child, even a child who isn’t mine. Why…?” I crumble into Sara’s arms crying hard. “Why would you make that decision without talking to us? That was our child.”

  “You don’t even know if I would have been pregnant. It wasn’t a child yet. I did what I thought was the right thing to do.”

  “The right thing to do would have been to be honest and talk to me. And just so you know, in my eyes, every single one of those vials is a baby in cryostasis, just waiting to be woken up. So, in my eyes and in my heart, you killed my child. I know science doesn’t support that view, but that is how much reverence and love my heart and spirit have for each of those vials. They are my children just waiting to be born.”

  “You wouldn’t have wanted my baby, so stop calling it your child.”

  “Don’t fucking tell me what I would have wanted! This is your problem, Shane! You always want to tell me how I feel and think about our friendship instead of accepting what I tell you. I would have loved that baby like my own.”

  “So, if I told you I chickened out and didn’t take the pill, then you’d be happy?” I straighten up and hold my breath. Shane immediately looks like she regrets saying it and shakes her head. “I took it. I was just… Kayla, I’m sorry. I fucked up, really bad. I don’t know how to make this right. That’s why I left and told you I needed space. I was just going to disappear again so you wouldn’t have to be bothered with this.”

  “You are so fucking selfish. How would I not be bothered by this if you just disappeared and I never got an explanation? We would have still known someone stole the vial, even if I didn’t realize it was you. Then we would have to point fingers at all of our friends and family trying to figure out who would be so disgusting to fuck us over like this.”

  “I’m selfish? Do you know how hard it is to pretend that it doesn’t bother me that you added Jaime and Symone to your family? Do you know how hard it was to watch you dance with Sorina? Are you going to add her next?”

  “It’s none of your fucking business who I love and have sex with and it never has been! We have only ever been friends. Why do you keep doing this to me? If you can’t accept me for who I am, you should have just walked out of my life a long time ago.”

  “I have tried to stay away from you, but I can’t. I ignored you for over a year and still couldn’t stay away.”

  “What do you want from me, Shane?”

  “I don’t know. Can you forgive me?”

  “No.”

  All of us look over at Sam, who is being restrained by Symone and Madison. Shane looks at me and I shake my head.

  “I don’t know, Shane. Of all of the fucked-up shit I’ve been through, this hurts the worst. No one has ever done something so horrible to me before.”

  “That’s not fair. A man tried to murder you on your wedding day. That is way worse than this.”

  “No, it’s not. A baby’s life is more important than mine. And that man immediately showed remorse and apologized for losing himself in a moment of jealous rage. He has worked hard to make amends and regain trust and honor with us and the tribe. You ran away with the intent to never fess up or apologize. No one has actually succeeded in taking a life from me, till now. I’m going to have to learn how to forgive this, but I’m not doing it for you. I can’t handle the weight of a grudge on my conscience. I have to be able to forgive you for my own sanity.”

  “So, it’s over?”

  “I can’t afford the casualties to my heart and soul that being friends with you causes, anymore. You know, when you left the party and you gave me that bullshit about needing space, I reached for a bottle of whiskey. I’ve never done that. I’ve been spat on and beat up, called things so horrible I can’t even get myself to repeat them, and people have attempted to take my life multiple times. But never once have I ever reached for alcohol to get through it. I don’t think being friends is good for either of us. You obviously are not ok with how I live, so stop trying to force yourself to be. It only hurts both of us.”

  “You drank because of me?”

  “No. Thankfully, a friend pulled me out of that pit before I lost myself.”

  “Sorina?” I exhale hard. “No.”

  “Kayla, I don’t want to lose you. There has to…”

  “You already have. You say it’s hard to accept that I have all of these wives. Well, right now, I’m having a hard time accepting that I don’t have your throat in my fist, and that is not who I am. So, I really need you get the hell out of my house now before you cause me to lose myself.”

  “Wait.” I look at Sara like she’s insane. She looks really pained and barely containing her own anger. “The morning after pill is not guaranteed. There is a chance she could still become pregnant.”

  “But I took it the next day.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t always work. What are you going to do if you’re pregnant?” Shane looks terrified and shakes her head. “I can’t have a kid. I’m still in school. What would I tell my parents? I just can’t.”

  “You’re having it and I’ll take the baby. You won’t need to have anything to do with it.”

  “I’ll just get an abor…”

  “Don’t you fucking finish that sentence. That is not an option. You gave up your right to that option when you stole our semen and inseminated yourself. If you’re pregnant, you better carry full term and allow me to take the baby if you don’t want it.”

  “Why would you want my baby?”

  “Because, it’s half mine!”

  “It’s not…”

  “Shut up. You’ve done enough talking. You’re going to come over here every week for the next month to take a pregnancy test. If you’re not pregnant, this friendship is over. If you are pregnant, you’re going to carry it and hand it over to us to raise. Don’t even attempt to go to a clinic in secret. I’m going to have our lawyer cut you off at the knees.”

  Shane looks at Sam with pure terror on her face and starts trembling.

  “Can we please keep this a secret? I don’t want my parents to know about this.”

  “I can’t guarantee that they won’t find out. Being a celebrity makes it kind of hard to have secrets. The media and paparazzi are creepy skilled at finding shit out that we didn’t think anyone knew.”

  Shane puts her face in her hands and starts crying hard. I can’t look at her anymore or I really am going to lose this battle of not hitting her. I stand up to walk out of the room, but as I’m passing her chair, Shane grabs my hand. Anger wells up in my chest and I spin around, ripping my hand free and cocking it back to punch her. Sara jumps up to block my punch and wraps her arms around me, pulling me out of the room. Without her in my presence, my body relaxes, so Sara releases me.

  Shane walks out to the foyer, wiping her eyes and quietly says, “See you in a week”, before quickly walking out the door.

  As soon as the door clicks closed, my body goes limp and my vision gets cloudy. I fall to the floor and everything turns black.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I sit up, or try to sit up, and fall back again with a weight on my chest. Sorina lifts her head off of my chest and places a hand on my cheek. My panic surges and I try to scoot back. I slam my head into a hip and look up. Awenasa places a hand on the top of my chest and rubs it in a soothing way.

  “Relax, puppy. You just fainted, but you’re ok.” I look at her confused and then at Sorina. “Why am I holding you?”

  “I was closest to you when you were thrashing around in your sleep. You grabbed me and pulled me down to lay with you.”

  I rest my head on Awenasa’s lap and adjust my arm holding Sorina, gently pulling her back onto me.

  “How long have I been out?”

  “A couple of hours. You only woke up for a moment when Sara carried you in here, but then fell asleep right away.”

  Sorina brushes a strand of hair off of my forehead and kisses my cheek before laying down on my chest. She runs her hand over my stomach, up my side, and slips under my shoulder, wrapping her arm tightly around me. It actually feels nice having her in my arms. She feels good against me, not just her body, but I can tell she cares about me, which is exactly what I need from a friend right now. It feels good.

  “I didn’t hurt you in my sleep, did I?” Sorina lifts her head and looks at me confused. “You said I was thrashing around. Did I accidently hit someone?”

  “No, you didn’t hurt anyone.”

  She lays back down and squeezes me tighter. I look up at Awenasa and she gives me a small sad smile and brushes her fingers over my forehead and cheek.

  “Did that really happen – the stuff with Shane?” Her jaw tenses for a moment and she nods. “Yes, it did. I’m sorry I didn’t see this coming. I wish I could have…”

  I pull her down to kiss her. She yields to fully kiss me for a moment before pulling back and kissing my forehead.

  “Even with your grandmother’s level of clairvoyance, I don’t think she would have seen this happening. I really thought the owl was about Symone’s dad. I just can’t believe anyone, let alone one of my friends, would do this to us. I mean, I understand people wanting to kill me, but stealing our semen and then aborting the pregnancy – that’s just fucking evil and crazy on a level I just can’t understand at all.”

  “Kayla, this isn’t over yet.” I have never seen Awenasa look like this before. She looks devastated. “I know. We have to wait a month to see if…” Awenasa shakes her head and caresses my cheek. “We have to sacrifice another vial.” I start to sit up, but Awenasa and Sorina place their hands on my chest and shoulder, pushing me back down. “Kayla, please try to stay calm. I don’t have the right energy flowing in me to be able to calm you down. You have to stay on this couch.”

  My eyes tear up as Awenasa’s eyes grow sadder and her jaw tenses. She bends down to kiss my lips and forehead.

  “Madison and Jaime took the cryotank to Dr. Fields’s office to have it inspected to make sure the seals are still good and the temperature is where it needs to be. They have to thaw and inspect a vial to make sure it’s still alive.”

  “But, can’t they just refreeze it? Does the whole vial have to be used? Wait, are you telling me all of those vials may be dead?” Awenasa’s eyes tear up and she nods once as she strokes my cheek. “They are thawing the vial now. We should know soon. If it’s still alive and healthy, they’ll refreeze it, and label it, so we know which one it is. But Dr. Fields said its effectiveness will likely be significantly lower than the others.”

  “And if it’s dead, we have to just throw all of them away?’ Awenasa wipes a tear from her eye. “Yes.”

  “I thought my curse had been lifted when I was able to go an entire year without needing stitches last year. It turns out that the universe was just giving me a break before I received a wound so bad it couldn’t be stitched up and will weep for the rest of my life. I can’t believe this is happening. If all of those vials are corrupted, how am I going to get over this? All of those children, just tossed in the fire. My heart hurts so much right now. I don’t even know how to describe how devastated I am.”

  My emotion consumes me again and I break down crying hard. Awenasa squeezes between me and the couch and lays on the other side of my chest. With Awenasa and Sorina laying on me, both of them hold me tightly and cry with me.

  Someone kisses my lips and wipes my closed eyes. I open them and come face to face with Symone. She gives me another kiss, and then sits down behind my head.

  “We just got off the phone with the lawyers.”

  I try to sit up again, but Sorina and Awenasa hold me down. Symone strokes mine and Awenasa’s cheeks before resting her hand on Awenasa’s shoulder.

  “The only way to protect our rights to the child, if Shane is pregnant, is to file charges against her. If we find out she’s not pregnant, we can drop them, if you want. But till we have custody of the baby, we have to enter into a civil lawsuit with her. Otherwise, we can’t prevent her from having an abortion. It will also be harder to take custody later if we don’t start the process now. What do you want to do?”

  I close my eyes and clench my jaw. My chest rises with anger and pain. I inhale deeply through my nose, trying to send oxygen rushing into my burning lungs to cool the heat, but it only causes me to become light headed. Awenasa and Sorina rub their hands up and down the center of my chest, from my collarbone to the top of my abs. Their soothing touch strokes some calm into the chaos of intense emotions raging inside me. I open my eyes and Symone caresses my cheek and forehead.

  “We need to do whatever we have to, to protect our baby, if she is pregnant.”

  “There’s one other thing. Even if she’s not pregnant and we drop the charges, the police may still press changes and prosecute for theft, at a minimum. The lawyer said cases like this get very tricky. There have actually been cases that determined the act Shane pulled is the same as rape. It all depends on the charges, how good the prosecutor is, and the jury, but if we bring this to the authorities, Shane could go to jail, or at a minimum get a misdemeanor.”

  “Goddamn it. I don’t…”

  “It’s Madison.”

  Sam and Shannon come jogging into the room. Sam kneels down on the floor behind Sorina and leans over her with her cellphone in her hands to hold between all of us.

  “You’re on speaker. So, what happened?”

  “The sperm are still alive and very active. She said our sperm has the highest motility she’s ever seen, so she doesn’t think we’ll have an issue with refreezing the vial.”

  I exhale in relief and feel like life has just rushed back into my veins. My eyes tear up again and I pull Awenasa and Sorina in tighter. Sam’s eyes tear up and she bends down between them to kiss me and then kisses Awenasa.

  “We’re getting ready to come home. We’ll see you soon. We love you.”

  All of us say it back, and then Sam disconnects the call. She lays her head down on Awenasa’s hip, still draped over Sorina, and places a hand on my stomach.

  “Where is everyone else?”

  “Yours and Awenasa’s dad went to the hardware store so they can fix the bathroom vanity. They’re also picking up a safe for the cryotank. We’re not taking this chance again. Everyone else is around the house or outside. They’re trying to give you space to relax.”

  “How long do you think it would have taken for us to realize that was missing if I hadn’t been a klutz and soaked Sorina with tea?”

  “Probably a couple months. The blow dryer you grabbed isn’t the one we use on a daily basis – it’s the one we travel with. We don’t really go in that drawer.”

  “I’m really glad you made me look like I peed my pants so you could find that. Kayla, I’m sorry for what I did before you found that.”

  Sam and Awenasa sit up some to look between Sorina and me. Awenasa looks in Sorina’s eyes for a moment and then lays back down, but Sam is still looking at Sorina with bated breath.

  “What did you do?”

  “I was just trying to mess with her. I wasn’t trying to make anything happen between us.”

  Sorina quickly tells them that she stripped down while I was finding her some clothes to wear, and because she thought it was funny how uncomfortable I seemed, she then pulled her panties off with her back to me. Sam looks at me with a patient smile and lays back down on Awenasa’s hip.

  “So, do you guys forgive me?”

  “Yes. Thanks for helping today. Are you hungry, baby?” Sam rubs my rumbling stomach. “Yes, but I also feel really sick from all of this. I don’t know if I should eat.”

  “You need to eat. All of us do. Are you ready to be around the family, or should we bring you something in here?”

  “I want to stay in here, but I don’t care if anyone else comes in. Where is Hayley, Jess, and Allie?”

  “Outside with the squad and your siblings. Stay here. We’ll go fix lunch.”

  Sam kisses mine and Awenasa’s lips before standing up.

  “Wait, where are our babies? I want to hold our babies.”

  “They just went down for a nap.” I pout, but nod once. “Ok, I’ll wait so they can sleep.”