When the security compartment door opened and closed, the couple barely noticed.

  Neil stayed back, letting them have this moment. It was impossible not to harden with desire, though, despite the 20-hour shift he’d just pulled. He’d never have believed he would be the type to share a woman. Their relationship had awkward moments where he wasn’t sure how to react, but in this area, he had no complaints at all. In fact, it was better than good. There was no more rushing through his own pleasure because he didn’t want his partner to lose interest, or guessing what was right and wrong to the detriment of his own arousal. Between the two of them, he and Jeremy could now bring Samantha to a shuddering climax in mere minutes, leaving them both time to fully enjoy the slick, welcoming heat of her body. It was perfect.

  The door started to open again, but Neil neatly kicked it shut with the heel of his boot, snickering at the thud of contact. “All full here.”

  Samantha and Jeremy snickered against each other’s lips, bodies connected.

  Tired, Neil allowed his mind to wander as he watched, hand occasionally stroking. He wasn’t waiting for his turn. He was absorbing the good moment to combat the next wave of bad. That’s all life really was anyway–a few vivid, amazing seconds, surrounded by dull, sometimes intolerable minutes. It made the precious seconds more valuable. Without them, no one would continue the fight of survival. There wouldn’t be any point.

  5

  Do I have your permission to try anything?

  Yes.

  Marc’s quick, curt answer implied he knew Adrian hadn’t had any luck and he didn’t expect the man to, no matter what he tried. Adrian wanted to be cocky and say he would accomplish it where Marc couldn’t, but he was too worried. He didn’t have much faith in his remaining ideas, but he was determined to try.

  “Angie?”

  “What?”

  “You’ll get Charlie tossed out. They’ll banish him.”

  Angela’s head slowly swiveled to find him by the small monitor. “Don’t you think Marc tried that?”

  “I assumed the boy scout wouldn’t stoop to lying.”

  Angela snorted bitterly. “Thanks to me, he’s being corrupted. He’ll lie now. He’ll also kill you. He’s at a limit with this drama.”

  “You have a plan for that?”

  Angela shrugged, still not touching the food or water that he’d put near her chair. “I have plans, but I haven’t started them yet.”

  “Why not?” He thought her avoiding that was probably a bad sign. It meant the plans were ugly.

  “I’m staying here.”

  Angela had anticipated the same immediate denial that she’d gotten from Marc, but Adrian regarded her in concern.

  “I’ve had enough,” she explained sadly. “I can’t do the job now and I don’t want to. Let them all survive on their own. I don’t care anymore.”

  The fresh tears proved her a liar, but Adrian was busy exploring the new options that had popped up in his mind. “If there’s someplace you need to go, I’d take you.”

  “Yes, you will,” Angela intoned coldly. “You owe me.”

  Adrian nodded without argument. He did. If not for her, he would be dead several times over, but more importantly, without her, there wouldn’t be a Safe Haven.

  “And they mean more to you than anything else, right?” she asked, reading him as deeply as he’d ever scanned her. “Even over Conner and me.”

  Adrian didn’t glance away as he answered, “Safe Haven is the reason that I insist on breathing. I’ve carried this goal for so long that it consumes my every thought, even when I’m alone. I want you and I need you. I love you as much as I can love, but I’d give everything up for my country. I already have.”

  “They’re realizing that. You’ve done everything right since being banished.”

  “Except for predicting your moves and being there to help,” Adrian muttered in half regret, half anger. “I’m sorry I wasn’t faster.”

  “I’d be dead if you hadn’t come. Thank you.”

  “Do you mean that?” he demanded suddenly. “Are you grateful to be alive?”

  “No,” she denied, tears coursing over raw, pale cheeks. “There was no reason to let me live, except fate is punishing me.”

  “They were bad people, Angie.”

  “That wasn’t for me to decide. I’m not God!”

  Adrian was encouraged by the small shout and responded in kind with, “Well, God wasn’t doing his job, was he? Someone had to!”

  Angela shuddered at the blasphemy. “I don’t feel that way.”

  Adrian heard the doubt and pressed the issue. “Don’t you? Haven’t you asked why the baby was taken after all the good you’ve done? She was innocent. Why did God take your baby?”

  Angela felt the rage building, but she was helpless to control it. “He didn’t. I did, with my actions.”

  “You know better. The Creator could have protected you while you battled the monsters, but he didn’t. You were betrayed by God.”

  “That isn’t true!” she hissed. “I was betrayed by my arrogance!”

  “Bullshit. You felt forsaken the second Chauncey showed up and put thoughts of damnation in your mind.”

  “They were already there,” she murmured, recalling the many times she’d questioned herself on the choices to kill. “I was willing to do anything to keep the herd safe and then to keep my baby. I did this.”

  Her voice had fallen into misery and Adrian found the needle in the haystack at that moment. “You hate the Creator!”

  Angela’s chin snapped up to pin him with crimson orbs. “Yes. Don’t you?”

  “Yes,” Adrian admitted slowly. “But it took me forty years to get there and I’m not positive that it’s Just. You are.”

  “Of course the hatred is Just!” she spewed, lava flowing from her mouth. “He abandoned all of us! We’ve been on our own since we were set in the garden, guided with whispers that we were never sure were real or in our minds. He created us and then left!”

  Adrian didn’t refute the accusation. He couldn’t.

  “How could he do that?! I care more for my herd than he ever did his!”

  That was where Adrian had been since Joe’s death. He’d never felt closer to her or anyone else, including his mother. “Welcome back.”

  Angela felt the full weight then of what she’d done, but the anger over the situation was stronger at this second. She stared at Adrian as heat surged through her limbs. “How do you keep faith that it’s our duty with this kind of hatred always coloring it?”

  Adrian stood up. “Sometimes I don’t. That’s when I hide and one of my loyal minions comes to pull my head out of my ass.”

  Angela snorted at the joke, surprised at the amusement or any other good emotion. She deserved to feel empty and useless. The cell was still wide open and she could dive through it at any point. That helped.

  “Does it?” Adrian asked, coming to where she sat near the cave wall. “Or is it a weakness that you have to conquer?”

  “Both,” she replied, sensing his intent, his need to be certain that she was here to stay. “Don’t touch me.”

  Adrian stopped, struck by her coldness. He’d only wanted a hug and to shove some more light into her dark soul.

  “I don’t want your light. I want your loyalty.”

  Adrian winced. “I couldn’t kill Darian. He went dim and blended in with a group of refugees. He used a spell that I haven’t seen in decades and he was gone.”

  “He tried to do the same thing on the mountain,” Angela confided, rage still growing. “But he forgot there has to be innocent souls nearby for that to succeed. I got him right as he realized he’d evaded a quick death with you. He screamed louder than the other one while he burned.”

  Her expression spoke volumes that Adrian quickly added together. What he came up with was horrifying. And perfect.

  “You’ll have to stay with me now, to keep them from reading your thoughts until it’s too late,” Angela stated. “Like with Sonja.”

  Her calm tone implied that was what she’d wanted all along. “All you had to do was ask.”

  Angela flashed a scornful glance his way and spared them both the reminder that he couldn’t be trusted. Just because she understood the choices he’d made, that didn’t mean she concurred.

  “Would you have done differently?” he asked, honestly wanting to know.

  Angela shrugged, shifting toward the target and forgotten darts. “Maybe in places.”

  She sent him the image of his attempts to be physical while Marc was gone.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t offer any excuses this time and that helped. She understood that like his son, he had an obsession he had to fight daily. Now, however, she also knew where that obsession ranked and it was a relief to find out that it was under the herd. Adrian was indeed what she’d needed to believe–a patriot who loved his country enough to give up everything.

  “Thank you for seeing that.”

  Angela sighed, anger fading to leave a stain of bitterness and weary peace. “Am I wrong for the newest abomination to come?”

  “No. It’s also not right, but you know there is no clear black and white anymore...if there ever was. There are always exceptions to the rules.”

  “Is there another way to handle it?”

  “Yes. There are many.”

  “Is there a better way to handle it?”

  “Based on the goals we’ve put to paper, no. This ends it faster than any of the others, with a minimum loss of our lives.”

  Angela was quiet for a moment, pushing the agony away this time instead of wallowing in it. “You’ll stay with me afterwards?”

  “I won’t ruin your leadership.”

  “Only I get to do that,” she sniped at herself.

  “You haven’t, you know,” Adrian pointed out. “They’re worried about you, but nothing else. The refugee threat is gone for the moment, you’re handling the loose ends from our battle with Donner and the government, and they’re safe. They have food and no illnesses like the others who’ve come here, and they aren’t being abused. You got them to see enough of the differences.” Adrian hesitated and then offered, “I’d bet that 17% is lower now.”

  Angela’s eyes closed. She hadn’t wanted him to discover her margin of disapproval. She’d been worried that he would put his faith in someone else. Even in her misery, she hadn’t wanted to give it up.

  Adrian chuckled, relieved to find that out. It meant she could continue. “Did 83% of Safe Haven approve of my leadership?”

  Angela nodded quickly. “Yes, but higher. When I joined, everyone loved you.”

  “Because I hid things from them. Do you do that?”

  “No.” Angela slowly answered. “I try not to. It makes it harder.”

  “Exactly. If the herd had witnessed the things I did, do you think 17% would have disagreed?”

  Angela’s mind went to his treatment of Tonya and how he’d known that Becky might be hurt by Rick. “No,” she denied. “It would be higher, maybe.”

  “Definitely. You have their respect, something I was afraid to earn openly.”

  “You couldn’t then,” she defended automatically.

  “We both know that’s not true. I hid my actions because I wanted complete control without their interference at first.”

  “To build the Eagles?”

  “Yes. Our army has made all the difference, in every situation we’ve been in.” His eyes glowed in the dimness of the chilly cave. “Them and you. I’m sorry that I came between you and Marc.”

  Angela held in a sob. “So am I. It ruined so many things.”

  “It also made some things better,” he stated softly. “I told you once that I could walk away if you told me to. I knew it for a lie when I spoke it, but things have changed now.” He drew in a tight breath. “Do you want me to go? There’s nothing to conquer that you can’t already handle.”

  Hearing that took a huge weight from Angela’s shoulders. She was assuming she would have to keep killing to keep her herd safe and she couldn’t do it. “You mean that? It’s the ocean and the island?”

  “Once you clear that island, they’re safe for years, Angie. I can’t promise what’ll happen to any of her chain of command, but Safe Haven’s citizens will flourish on Pitcairn.”

  Tears of relief threatened and Angela wiped at them as he waited for her choice.

  “If I say yes, what happens?”

  Adrian swallowed the crushing pain. He did owe her. “I’ll ask how soon. You’ll give me a date and by then, I’ll vanish.”

  “Will you stay here?”

  “I won’t ever come to the island,” he declared, giving her what she was fishing for. “I’d also shut down the links so that I can’t get messages or details. Those things would tempt me to return.”

  “Have you looked at that future?”

  “No.”

  “I have. It’s not bad. For either of us.”

  “But it’s not good enough, is it?” he asked knowingly.

  “No,” she confessed. “After all I’ve given up, I have to be more than content.”

  Adrian waited, sure he shouldn’t speak. Anything he might say now would influence her choice and he couldn’t have that this time. If they had any sort of future together, it had to come from her.

  “Do you know how to sail the boat?”

  Her quick topic change without an answer threw Adrian off. He grunted, “No.”

  “We don’t have a captain yet. Find me one.”

  Adrian beamed at the order, the choice. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Angela began throwing the darts. Neither of them were encouraged by the bad aim.

  “You hadn’t been practicing before,” he scolded.

  “No.” She didn’t tell him she’d been too busy trying to keep it all together alone. He knew what that was like.

  “Maybe you should teach that lesson to Marc,” he suggested, retrieving the darts. Most of them had bounced to the ground.

  “I’ve been trying not to corrupt him like we are, but there’s no choice, right?”

  “Not really,” Adrian answered, dropping the darts into her open palm without touching her, as she’d commanded. “Time will do it anyway. Right now, he doesn’t understand what it’s like to have two awful choices and both of them could cost thousands of lives, maybe even our future. If he knew what that felt like, you two might be able to bridge the gap and have a real conversation.”

  Angela didn’t ask if he’d gotten that from her. It had come from Marc, who was desperate to have her recovered and in charge so that he could revert to his sullen attitude of accusations and scolding.

  “I haven’t told him anything,” Adrian said quietly, retreating from her line of fire so she could throw again. “He’ll ask for an update on you soon.”

  Angela’s mind was already overcrowded with the contemplations and plans that she’d refused to allow in until now. She shoved it all out in one mental scream. Her shoulders drooped. “I’m not ready yet.”

  “No. Let him cover things for a while.”

  “What will I be doing?”

  “Healing, I assume,” Adrian answered. “Doing things that don’t remind you of your pain. Things like practicing that aim. You could also spend some time with me,” he suggested. “I could resume your private lessons. With a chaperone, of course.”

  “You could teach a class,” she agreed. It would be nice to revert to being a rookie in training. The pressure then hadn’t been staggering.

  “Be happy to,” he conceded, unable to keep the smile hidden this time. He also liked the idea of just being a trainer for a class. Let someone else handle the stress and harsh choices, the constant fear of not being good enough, of missing something. Marc could handle it, and then they would see if he was still smug and superior afterwards.

  “It hurts me to be around you,” Angela declared, suddenly exhausted again. “Don’t talk for a little while, okay?”

  Adrian watched her curl into the chair and blanket as if she wasn’t ever coming out, burrowing in until he couldn’t detect any skin. Her recovery would truly take a while. It wouldn’t be an act for Marc or the camp. She needed a real break, but not a long one. He hadn’t exactly told her the truth about the final issues coming for Safe Haven. Crossing that ocean wouldn’t be quite as easy as he’d implied, but her final layer of thick skin would come from this. By the time they hit the ocean, nothing would rattle her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The Black Widow

  October 7th, 2013

  1

  “This can’t be legal!” Rice’s protest echoed loudly in the crowded gymnasium.

  Kendle pinned him with a nasty glare. “Perhaps you’d like to explain to them how I earned my ticket into the market?”

  Rice quickly shook his head, reminded of their deal. If the masters discovered that he’d been hiding magic users, even his babies, he would be killed.

  Kendle held her hand out to Yuri, who had been observing without comment. “My weapon?”

  Yuri placed the modified sheath into her hand. The knife was already inside.

  Kendle was certain he knew what would happen next, but their deal included his support for the fights. He had no choice but to provide what she asked for.

  Kendle strapped the weapon around her hips, aware of the noise in the gymnasium as the spectators shopped, chatted and watched her prepare for the first fight. It had been a long week of waiting, but she’d made plans and figured out a strategy. Now, she had to follow through.

  “Five minutes until the bell,” the speakers warned. “The betting boxes are closing soon.”

  Kendle scanned the slave cart, where her team was also observing without comment. She didn’t try to communicate with them. There were too many people around. The gymnasium was almost too packed for movement as the gamblers came to get a peek at her before going to the booths. Now that the call had come, the crowd was slowly exiting, but the warmth from all the bodies was stifling.