Our evening naturally progressed into reminiscing about our weekend in Snoqualmie and vague planning for our trip to Europe. It still felt like a million years away for me. I couldn’t even imagine seeing some of those amazing places in real life.

  “I want to talk to you about something,” Will said slowly as he set his now-empty bowl on the coffee table. “And I don’t want you to think that I’ve been hiding it from you, because I haven’t, I just never got round to telling you.”

  He looked a little distressed, pulling the edge of his sweater between his fingers. I reached over and carefully pulled his fingers free before he messed up the stretch in the fabric.

  “Will,” I said. “I don’t expect to know every detail about your whole life. In fact, I don’t want to. It’s nice that we’re still learning stuff about each other after all this time.”

  He nodded. “Okay. So, you know how I always said I don’t really sub?”

  “Yes.”

  “I did, once.”

  I let him continue in his own time. This was clearly something that had been an experience for him, one that had shaped how he approached our D/s dynamics even now.

  “I was only about twenty-one, maybe twenty-two,” he continued. “Just getting into the lifestyle, but I knew I was a Dom. Right from the start, that was my instinct. This was before I met Laura, by the way.”

  I nodded at him to keep going.

  “So, I went to a couple of munches, then a club, and the Doms there… some of them wanted to help me, mentor me, but I kept hearing over and over that you can’t be a good Dom unless you’ve subbed.”

  That wasn’t an opinion that I necessarily shared, but it was one I’d heard a lot too.

  “So I agreed to sub for someone.”

  “Anyone I know?” I asked.

  “No. He moved down to Portland a few months before I met you. He….” Will sighed heavily. “We had a session at a club one night. He didn’t bother to negotiate with me, just told me he was going to show me the ropes. I didn’t really feel like I could say no to him. I knew the house safeword, but he didn’t give me chance to tell him my own safewords, and then he gagged me anyway.”

  Will seemed upset, so I took his hand, carefully threading our fingers together. He looked up and smiled.

  “I’m okay. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it could have been a lot worse. He used different impact toys on me—a flogger, a cane, a paddle, maybe something else, I don’t really remember. I didn’t like the gag so he took that off, and put a blindfold on instead. I really didn’t like that.

  “I think he was upset that I didn’t get hard. And I didn’t want to get him off either during or after. I suppose the main thing now, looking back on it, was a lack of respect for my boundaries. For what I wanted from the session, not just what he wanted from me.”

  I took a moment to process everything he’d told me.

  “I’m not going to insult you by asking you if you still want to sub with me,” I said carefully. “Because I trust you, and I know that what we have together is different to that first experience you had. But I do think it would be worthwhile to go through the kind of things you’re interested in exploring, to make sure we’re both on the same page.”

  Will stared at me for a second, then surged forward to kiss me hard.

  “Thank you. I love you.”

  That made me laugh. “I love you too.”

  I made him settle back into the corner of the couch and shifted round, so his legs were over my lap.

  “What I want,” he said slowly, “I guess, is more of what we did up at Snoqualmie. That was so… it was me and you, you know? I felt like you were pushing me, but not in a bad way.”

  “Okay. So let’s go through the basics. Kneeling?”

  “Yes,” he said decisively.

  “Impact play?”

  “Yes. But we probably need to keep that pretty light, until I can get you some training sessions with Laura.”

  “I know the basics,” I said, hoping to reassure him. “I can definitely keep it light. Gags, blindfolds?”

  “Yes to both.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “With you, yes.”

  “Bondage.”

  “No suspension,” Will said quickly. “Again, not until Laura’s had chance to train you.”

  “I’m more than okay with that.”

  “I don’t mind my wrists being tied, but I don’t think I want more than that right now.”

  I nodded. That was easy to agree to.

  “Sexy stuff,” I said, making him laugh. “Butt plugs, dildos, vibrators….”

  “Hard yes, Jesse.”

  That made me laugh, too. “Good to know.”

  “There is one thing, though.”

  I looked up and he reached for my hand again. “My number one priority in all of this is my sub. I want us to play, to switch, to have fun with this, but if anything starts messing up what we already have together, I’m calling time on it.”

  “I want you to be able to explore this, though. I want you to have what you give me.”

  “I want a fraction of what you need, though, Jesse. We already learned that the hard way. I’m always going to be a Dom first and foremost… this is just for us.”

  “Are we really mixing things up in the playroom like middle-aged swingers?”

  He laughed again, bright and beautiful, and whacked me on the arm. “Watch it with the middle-aged.”

  “It won’t be long.”

  Will just shook his head. “Anyway. This wasn’t supposed to be about me, it’s about you.”

  “No,” I said, sassing him because I could. “It’s about us.”

  “Your contract, Jesse.”

  I nodded. “I’m happy to go ahead with the checklist I sent you.”

  “There’s things on that list I won’t ever do to you. Ever.”

  “I… Will, I respect your limits too, you know that, right?”

  “I know,” he said slowly.

  “I don’t think of myself as a no-limits sub, because I know if I ever use my safeword, you’ll respect that. Like that one time I safeworded out of a scene because I really needed to pee.”

  He huffed a laugh. “Right.”

  I’d been spanked for that the next time we had a scene, but that was for not making sure I was ready beforehand, not because I’d used a safeword. And I’d deserved it. The point was, safewords could be a big deal and not a big deal for us at the same time. I knew I could use them without consequences, or use a safeword for something I’d wanted or even enjoyed in the past.

  Will would never ignore my safeword or try and convince me to stay in a scene if I didn’t want to. And if I said ‘no’ to something during a scene that I’d marked as ‘green’ on my checklist, he wouldn’t hold it against me.

  “Come and kneel for me,” he murmured. I went, sitting back on my heels in front of him.

  “Master.”

  “Let’s give this six months,” he said, and I was about to protest, but his expression stopped me. “Six months, to make sure we’re both happy with the way things are going, with the express understanding that if anything changes for either of us, we come back to negotiate again.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He leaned in, smiling, and brushed my hair back from my forehead to kiss me there.

  I held my wrist out for my new collar and he caught my arm, gently turning it over. My wedding ring caught in the light.

  “One last thing,” he said.

  “Sir?”

  “How do you feel about taking our wedding rings off when we play? It’s a twofold thing,” he explained. “Firstly for safety. Just in case they catch on any of our equipment. And I suppose it’s also like you wanting to take your collar off when we got married. They represent different things—different parts of our relationship.”

  I was already nodding. “Yes, Sir. That makes perfect sense to me.”

  He kissed me again. On the lips, this time.

  “We’ll figure out what we’re going to do with them during our sessions later.”

  I took my ring off and handed it over to him. Will took his off too, and set both on the arm of the couch. Then he pulled a new collar from his pocket. This one was the same forest green color that we’d used in our wedding decorations.

  When I offered him my arm, he first lifted it to his mouth and gently kissed the delicate skin on my inner wrist. Then he knotted the thread around it, careful not to tie it too tight.

  I caught his hand before he could take it away and kissed his palm.

  “I don’t want to hit you with anything tonight,” he said, and I was grateful for that, considering the spanking I’d had the night before. “But do you want to just go and… have some fun?”

  His tone made me laugh. “Yes. Always.”

  Will smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Do you want to take a shower or anything?”

  “No, I did that when I got home from work.”

  “Okay. Go on upstairs. I’ll see you there.”

  I leaned in and kissed him hard before rushing upstairs.

  The playroom was a little cool so I turned up the heat before stripping out of my clothes and leaving them in a pile next to the door. I couldn’t hear Will’s footsteps on the stairs, so I took a moment to set everything up for him, bringing the bench out into the room from where it was pushed against a wall, and tidying some of the floggers on the wall. I liked it when they were all lined up neatly.

  Then I knelt, finding my spot and settling back on my heels, my arms crossed behind my back.

  I was only there for a few moments before he came into the playroom and shut the door behind himself, but it was long enough for me to sink deeper into the headspace he’d already initiated by giving me my new collar. I was excited for this session, not only because it was the second night in a row we were in here together. It wasn’t very often that happened.

  He was wearing black jeans and no shirt, and his hair was a little wet where he’d combed it back. I tried to keep my eyes low and not stare at his gorgeous ass… and failed.

  “Kneel up,” he said and I did, moving my arms to tuck my hands behind my neck, elbows out. I also subtly spread my knees wider, giving me a more solid base. “Your ass has some bruises.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He chuckled. “You don’t seem too bothered by that.”

  “Not at all.”

  “Like I said, I’m not going to hit you tonight. We’ll let those heal up before I put some new marks on you.”

  “You can mark me any time you want,” I said honestly.

  He leaned down and kissed my hair.

  “Collar,” he murmured, and I moved my arms down again so he could fix it around my neck. “Down.”

  I settled back on my heels and took a few deep breaths to center myself as he moved around, retrieving different toys from the closet. We had a fairly extensive collection of toys these days, and since I hated throwing anything away, I’d had to build extra space into the closet to keep it all in.

  “Up onto the bench. On your back.”

  I wanted to scramble to obey him, but my Master liked me to move purposefully, smooth and elegant. He’d set the bench at a slight incline, so my head would be higher than my feet, and I could watch everything he was going to do to me.

  When I’d settled in place, Master secured my cuffs around my wrist and attached them to the edge of the bench near my hips. I couldn’t really slide off the end of the bench like this, the angle wasn’t steep enough, but he passed a strap around my waist and buckled me in anyway. For extra security, and another element of the bondage that I loved. Then he set up the two arms that came out from under the bench and allowed him to hook my ankles into leather straps, holding my legs up and apart. It was a simple system. And very effective.

  “Gag.”

  I worked my jaw once before opening my mouth, letting him slip the black ball gag between my teeth. He buckled it behind my head, then leaned forward to leave a kiss on the exposed rubber.

  “Beautiful,” he murmured.

  For a moment I thought he might blindfold me too, and I desperately hoped he wouldn’t. I liked watching him work on me when we had a ‘no-impact’ session. It was incredibly erotic to only be able to watch, strapped down and unable to stop whatever delicious torture he decided to give me.

  But when he turned back again he had nipple clamps, not a blindfold, and I almost wriggled with excitement.

  Because my nipples were pierced, he attached the clamps from top to bottom, instead of side to side, and the angle really let me feel the thin metal of the piercings. These clamps were attached by a chain, and once they were secured, Master tugged on it lightly.

  I moaned.

  “Good boy.”

  I was almost completely hard already, but Master slapped my dick a few times anyway to get me all the way there. I squirmed, trying to get away from him, but that just made him hit me harder. And it did nothing to subdue my erection—if anything, I got harder.

  He made a show of pulling on a latex glove and lubing up his fingers, making me watch him drip the liquid onto my balls. Then he braced his left hand on my chest and pushed two fingers inside me, straight up to the second knuckle without any warning.

  I loved this—loved the burn and stretch, the unyielding feeling of his fingers stretching me out. I was starting to drool around the gag and that feeling of humiliation added another element to the session, one that made me sink even deeper into the warmth of my subspace.

  “Relax,” Master said softly as he pushed his fingers in the rest of the way and angled them to rub my prostate a little harder than what was comfortable. I guessed by his actions that he wanted me turned on for whatever came next. That was not going to be a problem. I could feel the sticky precome already gathering on the head of my dick.

  A moment later he pulled his fingers out and replaced it with very tip of a plug that I knew from experience was large. And it vibrated.

  I groaned again as he braced the heel of his hand against the flat end of the plug, giving it an anchor as he worked it inside me. Well, like this, it was more up to me to relax my ass muscles enough to take it inside.

  I panted and grunted and sweated as Master kept up the continuous pressure, letting me know with his intense stare that I wasn’t going anywhere, and the only place the plug was going was deep into my ass.

  When it was about halfway in he turned on the vibrations, just low, just enough to add another zing of pleasure to the setup. My cock was twitching against my stomach and I already felt like I was wound too tight.

  Master adjusted the hand on my chest so he could tug on the chain that connected my nipple clamps, and four things happened at almost the same time:

  The clamps tightened and gave me an edge of sweet pain,

  The level of vibrations through the plug increased dramatically,

  The plug slid the rest of the way into my ass,

  And I came. Explosively, violently, with a scream of pleasure that was only partially muffled by the gag, with nothing touching my cock at all.

  I was dimly aware of the vibrations fading away, but the blood rushing through my ears stopped me from noticing much else. When I finally came back to Earth I wondered if Master would change his mind and beat my ass after all. Coming without permission during a scene was definitely not allowed.

  I picked up the courage to open my eyes and look at him, his expression almost made me shut them again. Then he burst out laughing.

  “Oops. Was that a bit too much for you, baby?”

  I grunted into the gag and he carefully unbuckled it. My heart was still thundering in my chest from the orgasm and I wanted to bask in the glow, but I wasn’t sure what happened next. I hadn’t done that before, and he certainly didn’t seem upset. The nipple clamps came off next and he rubbed the sore flesh to get the blood moving again.

  Master carefully wiped the spit from my face, then cleaned his hand and belly of my come.

  “I’m sorry, Sir,” I murmured.

  He leaned in and kissed me lightly. “That was very entertaining. Sensation overload?”

  “I guess so.”

  I glanced down at his jeans, where the outline of his hard cock was clearly visible.

  “I want to come in you, Jesse,” he said. I shuddered. “This is your punishment. You get to choose—your mouth or your ass?”

  The offer took me aback. Not the choice—he often gave me choices in a scene. But he’d never fucked me after I’d already come before. It just wasn’t how we did things.

  But I couldn’t deny how much the idea turned me on: him taking pleasure in my body, even though I wasn’t likely to get hard again now. Not after that kind of orgasm.

  “Fuck my ass, Sir. Please.”

  He nodded and leaned in to kiss me again, then unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out his cock. I licked my lips, and wondered for a split second if I’d made the wrong choice.

  “Take a deep breath,” he said, and I did as I was told, knowing he wouldn’t give me another chance to prepare for the plug coming out.

  Thankfully, getting it out was easier than getting it in, especially since he’d used plenty of lube. He set the plug to one side and poured more lube on his cock, then stepped in close between my spread legs.

  He glanced one last time at my face, and finding whatever reassurance he needed, turned his attention to his cock and my slick hole. I whimpered as he pushed inside. It was definitely a new sensation; not exactly painful, but lacking the edge of pleasure I was used to.

  My cock lay soft in the curve of my hip as Master wrapped his arms around my thighs for leverage and thrust into my ass with the kind of unforgiving enthusiasm I usually loved in a session. The fact that he wasn’t doing it to give me pleasure, but to take his pleasure from my body, was hell of a rush. I felt my cock twitch a few times and wondered if I’d get hard again. It wasn’t impossible. But he almost certainly wouldn’t let me come again.

  “Jesse,” he grunted, and I clenched my ass down to give him a tighter channel to thrust into, and canted my ass into his increasingly frantic movements.