“Did we not just agree to a romantic date?” Zeus demanded. He put on his sunglasses and hat, all ready to go, just as Thor came in with a small black case, like a small suitcase. A case of paddles?

  “You’re right,” Odin said. “We must go on our date first.” He pulled away from me, amber eyes glittering, like he’d thought of something dastardly. He took the case from Thor, held it in front of him, unopened. My imagination began to run wild.

  “What’s in there? D-do you have a lot of paddles?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Zeus is right,” Odin said. “You will find out what’s in the case after our romantic date. And you will feel your punishment as you have felt nothing in your life.”

  “Hold on,” I said. “You won’t show me now?” A wild thrill buzzed through me.

  “You will wait,” he said, watching me watch the case. “And you will contemplate what it means to me that you would make fun of my fucking-g accent.” He smiled, daring me to say gaccent.

  I wanted to say it—I wanted to!

  Thor took one look at my expression and rolled his eyes. “Sweet Jesus,” he said. “Don’t say it or we’ll never get out of here.”

  “You want to say it,” Odin said. “This, too, I will remember.”

  I smiled. “You can’t get me on what I want to do!”

  “I can get you on anything,” Odin said.

  “Not fair!” I protested.

  He lowered his voice to a rumble. “I can never be fair where you are concerned, baby.”

  Heat blossomed between my legs. Whatever dirty punishment Odin had in mind, I wanted it to happen now, not tonight.

  Odin smiled. He reached out and took the sunglasses Zeus handed him and put them on—they were junky mirrored sunglasses with purple frames in the shape of hearts, like something you’d make your dog wear in Facebook pictures. “Tonight,” he said.

  With those glasses on, I could no longer see his eyes. Somehow the fact that I couldn’t see his eyes increased the thrill factor, which was also amped by the sheer weirdness of the glasses.

  He smiled again. “You like them? Perhaps I will wear them when you receive your punishment. Perhaps I will wear gloves. Perhaps I will be a different person.”

  “A fashion-challenged sociopath, perhaps?” I teased.

  “Perhaps.”

  I snorted.

  He spun around. “Let’s go.”

  It took me a while to collect myself.

  I looked over at Thor to find him smirking. He handed me sunglasses and a ball cap and then put on his Greek fisherman’s hat and Ray-Bans. Zeus wore a ball cap and aviator glasses.

  “We look like we’re in disguise,” I observed as we left the room. “Like, a little conspicuously in disguise.”

  “Not in LA,” Zeus said. “Incognito blends here.”

  “People will think we’re movie stars,” Odin said, “or more, that we want people to think we’re movie stars. Nobody would suspect the truth, that we are among America’s most wanted. We love this fucking-g place.”

  Seven

  It was dark when we reached the outside shopping district. “Do stores stay open all night here or what?” I observed.

  “They stay open late, yeah,” Thor said. “Bank robbers’ hours.”

  Knocking around as a gang made me feel so good, like we were in on a secret nobody else in the world knew. And all the trouble at home, my grief about my parents dying, missing my sisters, all of that felt far, far away, now, especially when I thought about what was coming later…and the mysterious contents of Odin’s box.

  Thor made us stop at the Croissant Express, the gang’s favorite bakery, for almond croissants. We got a bag of them and sat outside the shop at little café tables that situated next to a trellis that was exploding with greenery and flowers and colorful lights. “Celebration food,” Thor said, ripping his apart, exposing the creamy almond-stuff center.

  “I fucking-g missed this place,” Odin said, plopping his feet onto a nearby chair and pretty much inhaling his pastry. Much as I loved the exciting high points with my guys, seeing their everyday lives felt precious in a way that was hard to describe. So this was their favorite bakery!

  We went to a tuxedo store and got them suited up, though Odin insisted on a tux that was just a little too small, with the dorkiest purple ruffly shirt. He never wanted to look perfect, yet he always did.

  Zeus got a sweet black suit with a red shirt underneath.

  Thor came out of the dressing room in a suit of white linen and a Panama hat, looking hot and a bit yesteryear.

  “What the fuck are you wearing?” Odin growled at him.

  “If you got it, flaunt it,” Thor said.

  I grinned. “You are looking very young writer in 1950s Cuba-ish.”

  Thor liked that.

  They put their normal clothes back on and we went to a dress shop next. I tried on a series of dresses and was dismayed to discover that the eating-and-drinking-with-bank-robbers lifestyle had caused me to put on a few pounds. I finally tried a sexy red number with a fabulously low back that worked with my curves instead of against them.

  My criminals were getting all crabby with man-shopping burnout, but they perked up when I strolled out of the dressing room and spun around. “What do you think?”

  “Fits like a glove,” the salesgirl said.

  Odin grinned. “A glove indeed.”

  “Come here,” Thor said.

  Zeus just burned at me with his green, green eyes, making me feel super sexy. “We’ll take it,” he whispered.

  “Take it off,” Odin added.

  I felt my face go red, but really, I felt like a queen.

  I turned to the pretty blonde salesgirl who seemed a bit stunned by our foursome-ness. “Looks like it’s a go,” I said proudly. She nodded, expression professionally blank. There was a time where I might have felt weird, but I didn’t feel weird now; I just felt lucky.

  I sometimes wondered if my guys marveled at us finding each other the way I marveled at it, like if they sat around when I wasn’t there and said, “I can’t believe we found a girl who will rob banks with us and let us boss her around and play dirty sex games with her.” Because I definitely thought a similar thing about them.

  We picked out some shoes. They had to be strappy and not cover my tattoo, which was still settling, according to Odin. I got the feeling they wanted people to be able to see it. I definitely did!

  We carried our bags down the moonlit street. It was true—everybody wore sunglasses and hats in this part of town, even in the dark. We totally blended in.

  I’d once heard that LA has a special quality of light like nowhere on earth, and that’s one of the reasons the movie studios located there. But there was also something sweet and delicious about the LA moon glow, too, mixed with the streetlights. I loved the way it made my bandits look—Thor’s blond hair gleamed like polished gold under his dark cap, and his skin was fairy-tale pale, with faint pink on his cheeks, as though he’d spent his life herding reindeer in a tale of yore. Out in the glamorous night, he looked less sad, too.

  And Zeus seemed hotter and surlier, seemed to occupy more seething space, and when he glanced at me, it was as though his green eyes were backlit—that’s how much they shone.

  Odin had on those junky sunglasses and a white fishing hat; the disguise did not nix his hotness, or the intense black-green hue of the bruise on his dusky cheekbone.

  We stopped at a craft store. I bought a needlepoint kit that had a pattern of a sheep standing in a patch of sunflowers. We continued on past a fancy spa. The sign outside advertised romantic couple’s massages.

  “Wait.” Thor stopped in front of the blindingly white polished pillars that marked the entrance. “Let’s do a romantic couple’s massage,” he said. “We’re on a romantic date.”

  “But we’re not a couple,” I said. “How will we divide up?”

  “Fuck that,” Thor said. “The four of us are a couple just as much as anybody.”

  “When they say couple, they mean two,” Odin said. “Like hell I’m getting a couple’s massage with Zeus while you get one with Ice.”

  “I thought we were going to dinner,” I said. “At this rate we won’t get there until two in the morning.”

  “Guvvey’s does get going late,” Odin said.

  “We’re a romantic unit,” Thor argued, unwilling to leave the couple’s-massage thing alone. “All of us, right?” He looked at Zeus. Was he trying to goad Zeus? “We’re just as much of a couple as anyone.”

  “Actually, we’re not,” Odin said.

  “Says who?” Thor continued. “Fuck it. We’ve had our lives pulled out from under us. We’ve got ZOX on our ass. And now we can’t even go for a couple’s massage because we’re a foursome? Is there not one normal thing left we get to do?”

  “Yeah!” Zeus growled, picking up the charge. “We should get to do this. The four of us are a fucking couple and that’s that. And I want rocks on my back like in the picture, too.” With that, Zeus headed in.

  “What have you done, Thor?” I breathed.

  Thor smiled slyly. Was this what he’d wanted? For Zeus to get riled up? For there to be trouble? Was this just another way of shooting down the dolphin sculpture?

  We followed Zeus across the posh, arty lobby which featured lush colors, waterfalls cascading down the walls, and alien-looking glass light fixtures.

  “We want a couple’s massage,” Zeus said, when we reached the counter.

  The woman at the desk had blue hair with pink accents, and her name tag said Carmella. She looked down at the schedule. “For two couples?”

  “No, the four of us are one couple.”

  She peered up. “Couple’s massages are for two.”

  “But we want one for all of us together,” Zeus said. “We’ll pay extra. Whatever it takes.”

  “Rules are rules,” she said.

  Zeus was looking a bit wild.

  Uh-oh.

  Thor smiled excitedly. Yes, he’d wanted this, I realized. It seemed more and more clear that Thor wanted trouble. I wondered again if I should say something about the dangerous driving hijinks. And was his idea to shoot down the dolphin a normal thing for a criminal to think about, or something beyond?

  Zeus slapped a hundred-dollar bill onto the counter. “Find a way to make it four and charge what you need to charge. Because we, the four of us, are a romantic unit.”

  Her gaze floated over us and landed on me. Not sure what else to do, I grinned.

  “We can’t do four, because only two people fit on the large tables,” she said.

  “Then push two tables together,” Zeus growled.

  “The practitioners wouldn’t be able to reach the center two as well.” Carmella shook her head. “They work from the side. I’m sorry.”

  Odin tensed. If Odin, our most emotionally attuned gang member, was worried, that wasn’t good.

  “It’s okay,” I said.

  “No, it’s not okay,” Zeus said.

  Odin pulled Zeus away from the counter. “You want them calling the five-oh?” he whispered angrily. “On our romantic date?” I stared at him in his purple glasses. Had he just called the cops the five-oh? El-oh-el!

  “No, I want a massage on our romantic date,” Zeus said loudly.

  “I’m sorry, that’s not how we’re set up.” Carmella went back to her computer.

  I bit my lip. Would things get hot? Would guns come out? Zeus seemed so keen on the massage. Then Odin went back to the counter and slapped another hundred-dollar bill on it, and then he leaned over and whispered something to her.

  She stared at him, assessing him, it seemed. “Fine. We’ll do a foursome massage. One moment, please.” She turned and left.

  “What did you say to her?” I asked.

  “Trade secret,” Odin said.

  “We don’t keep secrets from each other,” Zeus said.

  Odin smiled. “There needs to be some mystery to keep a relationship alive, honey.”

  Zeus grabbed Odin’s shirt front. “I’ll fucking get it out of you, my friend.”

  “Not here, hopefully,” I said in a warning tone. “I’ve never been in a pretty place like this, and I don’t want us to wreck our romantic date.” Unlike Thor, I was not up for additional mayhem.

  Zeus released Odin. “Fine,” he bit out.

  We ended up in a room with two large tables pushed together, and all of us lying side by side. Four bodyworkers rubbed our feet and backs while we drank champagne and talked about nothing.

  I was between Zeus and Thor, and Odin was on the far side of Thor. Odin was in the doghouse, I guess, for not telling Zeus what he whispered. Still, he was getting a better massage because he was on the end.

  It was actually very romantic, and it was kind of like a date.

  Later, the workers came and put smooth, warm rocks on our backs like Zeus demanded. The weight and the heat of the rocks felt sensual and relaxing.

  Odin was the first to say it: “These rocks on my back make me want to fuck.”

  “Me too,” Thor said.

  “This a romantic date for Isis,” Zeus said. “We don’t fuck until we get back to the hotel. Or home, if it’s ready.”

  Odin said, “I seem to recall her agreeing to our rules, and our rules are we fuck her when we want.”

  “We said this was a romantic date,” Zeus said. “Don’t you think Isis deserves some romance?” He turned his head to me. “That’s what you want, right?”

  I smiled. I sort of wanted to fuck, actually, but not here. “We’ve trashed on these people and this place enough,” I said. “I don’t think they want us fucking in here.”

  The weight of his eyes on me felt more intense and more erotic than the weight of the stones.

  “But what do you want?” Odin asked from the other side of Thor.

  “To have this nice date like we are having right now,” I said. “Doing anything with you guys is nice. Just lying here. It’s nice.”

  Odin groaned.

  Just then, a man came back with a golden platter full of new rocks. He replaced our old ones and refilled our champagne glasses.

  Zeus was the first to get bored. He took the rocks off his own back and left the room for lord knows where.

  Odin came and stretched out on my other side. Like old times, me and Thor and Odin.

  “And then we can take you home after,” Thor said. “Just like a real date. We’ll be old-fashioned.”

  “I’ll be going for Medieval,” Odin said. “But that’s still old-fashioned, right?”

  My insides warmed.

  “There is a room in our hideout that has certain Medieval elements,” Thor said.

  “Like what?” I imagined something dungeon-y.

  I felt Odin’s hand slide under the sheet and onto my ass. “Some mystery is good to keep in a relationship. But we will bring our box of paddles. Or use the ones there. Very wicked ones. And maybe chains.”

  The anticipation was killing me.

  Later, we all took a steam bath together without having sex, which was hard with my guys all sweaty and naked. I wanted to have sex, but Zeus was fixated on this romantic date thing. Like he wanted to make it perfect for me.

  On the way back to our black SUV, Zeus suddenly got it in his head to stop and buy four insanely expensive, weirdly flavored waters from a sidewalk vendor. We all followed him to the little booth, where he took his time to choose one for each of us.

  My guys got really quiet and deliberate, like it was the most important decision on the planet.

  What was up? Usually they didn’t care about things like waters.

  Odin furrowed his brow after Zeus paid. “Where?” Odin asked.

  “Three o-clock,” Zeus said. “Follow me and look in this store. Eyes forward.”

  Uh-oh.

  Something was definitely up.

  I followed my guys’ lead. After we got waters, we all stopped in front of a cell phone store to look in the window at the gadgets. Did they want new cell phones now? But then I realized I was the only one looking in the window at the gadgets. My guys, ever the bandits, were looking at the reflection of the street behind us.

  “We picked him up at the massage place,” Zeus added.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “A tail,” Thor said.

  “Cops,” Odin said. “And there are two of them.”

  “Let’s hope it’s just cops,” Thor said darkly.

  Eight

  We headed into a random nightclub. Zeus pulled off his hat and sunglasses and handed the hostess a few hundreds, winking at her. “We’re looking for a friend,” he said, like it was secret between them.

  She smiled and pocketed the bills. “Go on in, then.”

  As we crossed the dark interior, Thor took off his hat and glasses. So did Odin. I followed suit. Apparently it was disguises off time. Deep in the dark club, Zeus handed a busboy more hundreds. “We want to say hi to a friend.” Without waiting for an answer, he pushed through the kitchen door.

  Thor grabbed my hand and pulled. “Just follow.”

  There were protests in the kitchen until Zeus slapped a pile of hundreds on the stainless-steel counter. The man was a regular Robin Hood tonight. “For your awesome work tonight, guys. Keep it up.” Then he turned and led us out the back. We burst out into the cool night air and walked fast down an alley and across another street

  Finally, we slowed.

  “Did we lose them?” I asked.

  “Yup,” Thor said.

  “They were just plainclothes,” Odin said. “They weren’t going to do anything.”

  Zeus said, “I didn’t like his shoes. They didn’t say cop to me.”

  “He was a cop,” Odin said.

  “What did you say at the massage place?” Zeus demanded.

  “What does it matter?” Odin said. “You were about to pull out your piece and go hot.”

  Zeus just grumbled in response.

  “What if it’s ZOX?” I asked. “And that dangerous, horrible Agent Denko?”

  Zeus slung an arm around me. “If it’s ZOX, then it’s ZOX. Is anybody following us now?”