“Yes,” he said at last.

  “Okay then. I’m going to take a chance now,” I replied. “To show I mean you no harm.” Then I let Abigail’s pistol slip from my finger and drop into the snow.

  Claver eyed that for a confused moment, then his face brightened. “You know who I am, don’t you?”

  “Yep. You’re Claver-X.”

  He laughed. “And to think everyone on this planet believes you possess the mind of a gibbon.”

  “Rumors of my retardation have always been exaggerated.”

  Smiling, Claver-X lowered his weapon as well. We both sat up cautiously, eyeing one another. We weren’t blood-brothers or anything, but we’d cooperated on several occasions.

  “So, my sister is okay?”

  “Yes. I popped her tapper and took her coat and gun, but she’s fine. Like I said before, she’s up in that cave—near the ridgeline.”

  Claver-X followed my pointing finger with his eyes. “Lots of caves up there. These mountains are made mostly of limestone. Nevertheless, I’m going to take your word for it, McGill. You’ve got me curious. Why are you here?”

  “I want to talk to you. I want to know why the Tau are roaming Earth looking for Galactic coins.”

  He blinked a few times. “Galactic coins? You mean those big gold things? Those are illegal, McGill.”

  “Don’t I know it. You used to smuggle them back on Tech World. You remember that, don’t you?”

  Claver-X stared up at the sky. The winter storm had passed, and a few stars were coming out.

  “Yes. I remember doing that—or one of my brothers did, to be exact.”

  “That must be weird. Knowing you’re a split-person, living in different twisting paths on a dozen worlds in a dozen times.”

  “It is strange, but only because I can remember having a different mind than I do now. It was about the same time as the Tech World fiasco that I first separated from the Claver pack. A few years after that, I created Abigail.”

  I frowned hard, trying to do the math. “But that was, what… maybe thirty years back?”

  “If that.”

  “But that would make Abigail younger than my own daughter. How did you keep her a secret when she was a child? Where did she grow up?”

  He laughed at me. “She didn’t grow up. Not really. She’s a bad-grow version of her brothers, like me, but more extreme.”

  “So… she can remember being a male Claver?”

  He shook his head. “No, I kind of reset her. Her memories began building as an adult woman.”

  “Editing. You’re talking about editing her engrams. That’s wild—and weird.”

  He shrugged. “No worse than perming a man, which you’ve done any number of times.”

  I decided not to argue the point, but to my way of thinking cloning a female version of yourself and erasing her mind was downright wicked.

  “Okay,” I said, accepting his statements for now. “What about the Tau? What’s got them all stirred up?”

  “They’re greedy bastards, that’s what. Often, we pay for things using Galactic coins out here on the frontier. You can still use them in provinces that have slipped out of the Empire’s control. We use them as a universal kind of currency.”

  “Hmm… so when Carlos started selling some of the coins on Earth, they found out and came to investigate.”

  “Carlos? That card-carrying idiot started this? I should have known. The Tau have been sending agents all over looking for coins, but I didn’t understand the reason. The Tau seem to think they’re owed millions of coins. They’ve been snooping around, trying to locate our stash. You say they’ve been visiting Earth, too?”

  “Yep. I had to kill a stack of them to drive them off-planet just last week.”

  Claver-X shook his head. “They won’t stop coming just because you perm a few. They’re like foxes, they won’t stop sniffing around until your last chicken is dead.”

  “Too bad for them. So far, I’ve permed at least ten, and they haven’t got more than a coin or two to show for it.”

  He laughed. “All right then, if your curiosity and mine are satisfied, how do we end this conference? I want to go find my Abigail and warm her up.”

  His choice of words made me want to wince, but I didn’t let on. I just widened my idiot’s grin and nodded.

  “Central?” I said. “You listening?”

  “We got it all, McGill.”

  Claver-X looked alarmed. He couldn’t hear the response, but he obviously didn’t like the idea that Central was listening in on our conversation. To the best of my knowledge, he didn’t know about the latest advances in casting technology.

  “Oh… never mind my nonsense,” I told him. “I named my tapper Central is all. It’s voice-activated now, see?”

  He didn’t so much as glance at my tapper, not even when I waved it in his face. He just frowned at me.

  “Why don’t you go ahead and shoot me?” I suggested. “It will be good for your cover.”

  Nodding, Claver-X needed no more urging. He lifted his rifle and blew my head clean off.

  -15-

  The ghouls on Gray Deck witnessed my death and ordered a revive back at Central. Less than an hour later, I was walking and talking again.

  “It’s good to be home,” I told the pretty lady on Blue Deck who took my vitals. “Say, you wouldn’t be interested in lunch, would you?”

  She politely declined, so I headed toward the upper floors again. Sometimes I felt like I spent half my life in an elevator. That was the trouble with overgrown government buildings.

  When I reached Turov’s office, I was quite proud of myself. I’d found clear evidence—in fact, Claver-X’s outright recorded confession—as to the source of these Galactic coins. What more could the brass want for a solid morning’s work?

  But my whistling, smiling face faltered when I found Turov’s office all but empty.

  “McGill?” Gary said. “Didn’t you get the memo? The meeting is upstairs—all the way up.”

  “You mean at Drusus’ office?”

  “That’s right. We’ve got special guests, too. They just arrived this morning.”

  “You don’t mean…?”

  He gave me a nasty grin. “Yeah, I’m talking about Nairbs. Governor Nox, too. They’re full of questions. Here.” He tossed me a roll of paper towels. “You might need these to clean up the mess.”

  I snorted at him. “You held onto these for hours just in case I came back, huh?”

  “That’s my job. It’s not good enough to respond to disasters. I’m supposed to predict them and be prepared in advance.”

  The joke was a good one, so I laughed at it. Gary was a dick, but he usually played me fairly enough—not like some people.

  Two minutes later I was back in the elevator, grinding gears all the way up into the floor four hundred zone. Drusus inhabited the penthouse, essentially.

  When I finally got past Primus Bob, Drusus’ private butt-boy, I waltzed into the palatial office. My mood was still positive, as I felt I was even a greater hero than I had been previously. If the Galactics were sniffing our posteriors and looking for some hides to nail to the side of the barn, well sir, it was best to have previously lined-up your culprits and made sure they were far from Earth.

  “Ah, McGill,” Drusus said. “Good of you to join us. Imperator Turov claims you have critical information pertinent to this investigation.”

  “I surely do.”

  There were no less than seven Nairbs on site, and they were surrounding Governor Nox herself. The fact that Nox was present in person was a shocker. She’d always been the cautious sort, having heard mean-spirited rumors that we Earthers killed Galactics now and then. These rumors were true, of course, which made it doubly strange she’d chosen to appear in the flesh.

  Nox sat on a throne they’d probably gated down from her ship. It was a functional affair of unadorned metal and nozzles that looked suspiciously like weapons. As I watched, the nozzles swiveled independently. They must have been automated defensive turrets—miniature ones. I had no doubt they were deadly at close range.

  The pack of Nairbs she’d brought with her huddled around the throne like a swarm of green seals cluster-humping a boulder. They seemed to want to stay real close to it, probably hoping it would protect them in the case one of us humans became unruly.

  Nox rotated her bulbous, spidery body in my direction as I approached the throne. “Ah, the McGill-creature. Of all you speaking apes, this specimen is the most memorable.”

  “Why thank you kindly, Governess.”

  “McGill?” Drusus said. “Do you have information on the whereabouts of the missing Galactic coins?”

  “I do indeed, sir. The Clavers have a huge stash of these coins. These days, the Clavers are camped deep in Province 929.”

  Drusus opened his mouth to ask a follow-up question, but then Nox leaned forward. Drusus clammed up instantly. It seemed wrong to me that one of Earth’s highest level military officials should become shy whenever this bug-monkey alien decided to speak, but that’s the way things were.

  “Hmm…” Nox said, poking at the virtual maps that were displayed on the walls and ceiling above us. “929 is the frontier zone between Earth and Rigel, yes? What evidence do you have to support this assertion?”

  With a powerful flick on my tapper, I transmitted the raw video of me talking to Claver-X. He soon implicated himself and his brothers.

  “Governess?” said the chief Nairb. “I’m not sure why these humans seem pleased with themselves. That perpetrator is undoubtedly human.”

  There were some sharp objections from the brass. They whined about Claver being a renegade and all, and I almost opened my stupid mouth to add that he was part of a race of clones.

  Galina caught my eye. She was shaking her head emphatically, and Drusus was doing the slow-shake himself. I got their message.

  “Do continue, McGill-creature,” The top Nairb kiss-up urged, and he seemed excited. “What special quality do these Clavers have?”

  I realized I’d almost let yet another cat out of this leaky bag. We humans weren’t supposed to have clones at all. Pointing out an additional crime wouldn’t make the other ones go away—especially not with a pack of Nairbs on the case.

  “Uh…” I said. “What I meant to say, sirs, is that these Clavers need a good ass-whupping. They can’t be allowed to hide from justice any longer.”

  The Nairb seemed disappointed. “Obviously. As our closest local enforcers, we’re assuming Earth will take care of this gross violation. Afterward, humanity’s collective punishment will be meted out.”

  The humans present all blinked.

  “Punishment?” Drusus asked. “For a job well done? Is that how the Empire rewards her most faithful subjects?”

  At that moment, a surprising thing happened. The lead Nairb’s head popped open, and his brains gushed out. All the other Nairbs grunted and humped away to the other side of Nox’s throne.

  One of the governess’ numerous foot-hand appendages lifted from her throne. She’d activated something and executed her lead Nairb.

  “I apologize for my minion’s overzealous nature. The Empire certainly won’t press charges against Earth if your fleets and legions are utilized to expunge this menace.”

  “You mean…” Drusus said, leaning forward, “that if we fly out there and remove the colony from this ice planet, you won’t pursue the legal matter any further?”

  “That’s exactly what I said.”

  The Nairbs around Nox churned in agitation. I could tell they wanted to prosecute us to the fullest extent of Galactic Law. They always did.

  Drusus made happy noises, but Nox extended one finger up into the air. “There is a single stipulation, however. Earth must account for and return every coin gathered. There will be a full audit by the Nairbs to ensure this outcome.”

  The human officers glanced to one another, and they suddenly looked significantly less happy. I could tell right off that they’d been planning to spend this fortune on projects of their own.

  “Return the coins?” Drusus asked. “Return them to whom, exactly?”

  “Why, to the Mogwa Treasury on Trantor, of course. What other result could there possibly be?”

  Drusus nodded sagely. “I see. Have no concern, Governess. We can and will perform this mission. Representatives of the Clavers will also be brought back for trial, if you wish.”

  “Don’t bother. We don’t want any records of this in a legal setting. Get the coins, load them onto my ship, and forget they ever existed.”

  Everyone looked at Drusus. After a few moments of blinking and thinking it over, he nodded. “It will be as you command, Governess.”

  Nox seemed very pleased with herself after that. Her Nairbs squirmed and grumbled, but none of them dared object openly.

  That was the end of the part of the meeting that really mattered. The rest of it was the usual hogwash. There were speeches, a banquet and even some beverages served.

  These last two caught my attention and kept me going long after the speeches had nearly knocked me out.

  During the final hour of the festivities, however, a sullen figure arrived. It was the head Nairb. I recognized him as the Chief Inspector of the province, and I kind of hated him. That feeling was mutual as far as I could tell.

  The Nairb had obviously been revived after his execution by Governess Nox. He was slinking back to the party before it was over.

  He hesitated at the entrance. He looked toward the Nairb pack surrounding one of the tables, then the spot where Nox was dining with Drusus and Turov. He obviously didn’t feel at home in either crowd.

  I almost felt for the snot-bag. After all, he’d been ambushed and publicly shanked by his own boss in the pursuit of what he saw as his legitimate duty. I’d suffered just that sort of fate on a dozen occasions myself.

  “Hey! Chief Inspector!” I called out to the Nairb. “Come on over to my table.”

  “McGill?” Primus Fike asked. “What are you doing?” He, Winslade and Graves were sitting with me at the same table. We were some of the lowest-ranked individuals in the room as most were tribunes and up. Like the kids’ table at Thanksgiving, we’d all been shoved together at the back of the banquet.

  The Nairb looked in my direction, and he appeared to be confused. I made another inviting wave with my big arm. The motion was so broad and sweeping in nature, my whiskey sour sloshed over my sleeve. The truth was, I’d had a few. After stuffing my face and drinking my fill, I was feeling fine.

  “I’m out,” Graves said, standing suddenly. He knew trouble when he saw it coming.

  Fike eyed him for a moment, then followed suit. “I’m not so hungry anymore. Don’t screw anything up, McGill.”

  “That’s a flat impossibility, sir!”

  The Nairb was now humping in my direction. That put a smile on my face—or rather, it made my grin grow even wider.

  “What about you, Winslade?” I asked. “Are you going to chicken at the approach of a dreaded Nairb?”

  Winslade smiled. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” he said quietly.

  The Nairb arrived, and I offered him a seat. It was a special bench, really. We’d been furnished with these when we knew aliens were coming.

  “Hello Chief Inspector. I’m so glad you could join us.”

  The Nairb cocked his head in my direction. “Your happiness is misplaced, primate. We are not friends.”

  “No, no, not friends,” I agreed. “But we’re both underappreciated by our bosses, aren’t we? Weren’t you around a year or so back when these same officers tried to get me turned over to the Skay as a prisoner?”

  “Ah yes. I recall that circumstance. On that instance, your personal relationship with Governess Nox saved you. It was most inappropriate.”

  “See there? That’s what I’m talking about. My officers tried to scapegoat me into taking all the blame on that day. Now, here we are on a different day, and Nox goes and blows your fool head off in front of God and everybody. It’s downright criminal how faithful servants like you and me are treated.”

  The Nairb blinked a few times. He seemed to be thinking this over. “Interesting,” he said at last in his prim little voice. “You’re suggesting an equivalence between the injustices heaped upon you and I?”

  “That’s exactly it. We’re like blood brothers. Hey, have you ever tasted alcohol?”

  “No, I can’t say that I have.”

  Half an hour later, I had a Nairb on my hands that could barely lift his flappy head from the tablecloth. Apparently, Nairbs didn’t just like strong drink, they had a real weakness for it as well. One glass of wine had this boy flying, and two had put him into a virtual coma.

  “McGill,” Winslade said. “Stop feeding that alien alcohol. He’ll end up going through the revival machine twice in one day.”

  “Listen Sub-Tribune, this is a form of bonding. What you’re witnessing right now is McGill-style diplomacy.”

  To demonstrate my point, I put my hand near the sagging Chief Inspector, and he slapped his nasty green flipper on top of it. I grinned at Winslade. “You see that? We’re like blood-brothers now.”

  Winslade had finally gotten bored with my newfound friend, as I’d hoped he would eventually. He stood up and stretched. All around us, the party was winding down.

  “I’m taking my leave,” he said. “Watching you two has been fruitless. It’s like watching two chimps try to smoke a single cigar.”

  Winslade stomped out at last, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d been waiting for him to leave for nearly an hour.

  “Hey, Chief Inspector? Can you still talk?”

  “Certainly…” he mumbled.

  “Good, good. Listen, we’re blood-brothers, right? Besties, and all that?”

  “We are like siblings born in a single pod.”

  “That’s right. That’s exactly right. Well brother, just one podling to another—whatever happened to Nox’s child? I haven’t seen him this whole visit. Is he still around someplace?”