Mika’s eyes seemed to lose focus as he remembered. “Yeah. We were bored and had too much time on our hands. We laughed a lot.” Mika smiled and looked down at Gabe. “I kind of had a crush on Zane back then.”

  Zane expected some kind of withering comment from Gabe and was surprised when he didn’t get it. Instead, Gabe turned his sparkling gaze on Zane and winked.

  “Well, he is cute, so I can see that.”

  Aidan laughed beside him. “Cute? Gabe, he is so much more than ‘cute’!”

  Zane was ready to melt into the couch. He found Mika’s sympathetic gaze. “We, ah…” Well, now Gabe and Aidan both might get a bit… irritated. “Messed around some. Before we went home.” And now, he sounded like an idiot.

  Gabe sat up and raised his brows at Zane. “Really? That sounds amazingly hot. Go on.”

  “It doesn’t bother you that Mika and I… “

  “Uh, no. It’s not like I was a vestal virgin until Mika came along—and neither was he. I know he’s mine, and I’m his, and that’s what’s most important now.”

  Zane looked at Aidan. “Is that a problem for you?”

  “No,” Aidan didn’t look happy though. “But it would have been nice to know when I was so certain you were straight.”

  “Aidan, all we did was jerk off together. I’m sure there are plenty of straight teenage boys who do the same,” Mika pointed out. “I didn’t think it made Zane gay, just a typical horny teenager, like I was.”

  “And did you know you were gay by then?” Aidan’s question came out more like a challenge.

  “Of course, but that didn’t mean Zane was, and I didn’t ask.”

  Everyone looked at Zane as his face heated. “I didn’t know. I liked Mika, wanted to do things with him—though I honestly wasn’t sure what exactly those things were. But as I was saying, John hated Mika. When I got home, he knew what we had done.”

  And it had been ugly. The names his uncle had called him and Mika alone were…

  “There was a lot of yelling, mostly him because he grabbed the rope and I knew what that meant.” Zane wanted to get up, to pace and burn away some of his nerves like he wished he could burn away the shame. “It meant I could either get in the truck and cooperate or else I was going to wake up tied to the tree John always used to pu—used. If I fought him, he would pull out this little vial of liquid—no. It was powder. The three or four times he tossed it on me, I remember this… searing agony shooting through my chest. Then I woke up naked and tied to that tree, unable to shift, unable to call out for help because that bastard would tape my mouth shut.”

  “Datura,” Aidan muttered.

  Zane didn’t hear him. He was so angry that he didn’t know if he could continue. All these years, he had kept it inside, blamed himself for being flawed, and no doubt he was. But John was something else, and Zane’s fear of the man had kept Zane from being able to be angry at John. He’d turned those feelings on himself instead, and now, talking about it, thinking about it was stirring up so much pain and fury he felt like he might combust from it.

  “Datura,” Aidan said again, his voice trembling with the force of his anger. “That son of a bitch used datura.”

  “What the hell is datura?” Mika’s question caught Zane’s attention. He turned to look at Aidan.

  “Datura has several different names. It can render shifters unconscious, cause extreme scarring, it can eat through skin, muscle and bone in minutes—”Aidan flicked a look at Zane before grabbing a handful of Zane’s shirt and pulling it up to his armpits, exposing the several shiny scars on Zane’s chest. “These scars tell me that John had the datura mixed with something so that it wasn’t at full potency. If it had been, Zane would have been dead. Even a small amount can kill us. You don’t hear about it much because it’s something we would rather not become common knowledge.”

  “No wonder. That’s like sprinkling holy water on vampires.” A worried look shone in Gabe’s eyes.

  “Except vampires aren’t real. Silver doesn’t hurt us, though any bullet to the heart, silver or not, will kill a shifter as sure as it would anyone else. Datura, on the other hand…” Aidan shook his head and pulled Zane’s shirt back into place. “That’s what John used. It would have knocked Zane out and left scars that don’t heal, not like most other wounds we get.”

  Zane flinched when Aidan’s fingers touched his chin, tipping his head up. He wasn’t afraid. He’d been lost in his own thoughts and hadn’t even realised Aidan was reaching for him. Zane caught the hurt that flickered in Aidan’s eyes before the man suppressed it.

  “I’m sorry, it wasn’t you.” It was the best Zane could do right now, with so many emotions spinning around inside him.

  Aidan nodded and let it lie. “How many times did he do this?”

  Another vivid memory screamed to life in Zane’s mind, this one the confrontation with his uncle right before Mika’s parents went missing.

  He had came home from a run after visiting Mika, hoping the scent of a fresh kill would cover any lingering trace of arousal he felt when around his friend. He had to hide it or his uncle would kill him. Zane couldn’t bring himself to go fuck around with one of the willing women in the pack; he’d done that before, hoping to quell the rising need he felt for something…unacceptable. He would rather be alone than with someone he had to force himself to fuck.

  Zane opened the door and broke out in a sweat when he caught the scent of his Uncle John. The familiar smell of anger and hatred combined with cruelty always made Zane feel that he was on the verge of a panic attack. He started to slip back out the door. Maybe he could stay gone long enough that John would give up and leave. Zane really didn’t want whatever confrontation was coming; he could feel the tension in the air.

  Why was he so scared? He was an adult now, stronger than John and quicker as well. John appeared in the hallway before Zane could make his escape.

  “I’ve been waiting for you, boy.” John looked Zane up and down and sneered. “Been out trying to hide, haven’t you?”

  A chill of fear slithered through Zane. His uncle couldn’t know! He couldn’t! Zane pushed down the panic and stepped back inside, carefully shutting the door as he composed himself.

  “I have nothing to hide, Uncle John. My wolf just needed to run.” Zane faced his uncle.

  “You’re a fucking liar, you little shit! You were hanging around that faggot again, weren’t you?” John stalked up to Zane. The hatred in his uncle’s pale blue eyes was beyond frightening to Zane. He had to steel himself not to drop to his knees and beg forgiveness. He wouldn’t do it, not this time. Never again.

  “I was visiting my friend. That’s more than you need to know. I’m not your—”

  The blow to the side of his head was unexpected. He couldn’t recall his uncle ever striking him. Zane stumbled sideways and slid down the wall as his vision blurred. John wasn’t a small man at all. In fact, he stood taller than Zane. At fifty two, John still retained his bulky and intimidating physique.

  Zane’s temple throbbed as John squatted down in front of him. “I’ve told you to stay away from that queer and his troublemaking parents.” John reached in his shirt pocket and took out something…

  “Christ!” Aidan stood and pulled Zane with him. “That’s enough for now!”

  “Wait, please.” Mika and Gabe stood as well, walking around the coffee table to stand in front of Zane and Aidan. “Aidan can fill us in on what just happened later, if you are okay with that.”

  Zane’s head swam with anger and fear, but he nodded.

  “Can you tell me this much?” Mika looked from Zane to Aidan. “Zane said John used the datura on him three times. Can you tell me when those times were?”

  Zane noticed Mika seemed to be holding his breath. “Go ahead,” Zane told Aidan. The man knew what had happened now as surely as Zane did—maybe even better since Aidan knew about the datura and Zane had never heard of it.

  Aidan took a shaky breath before answering. “The first time was when he came back from his outing with you. The second was after a visit with you, right before your parents’ disappearance. And the last time—”

  Mika’s curse cut Aidan’s sentence short. “You don’t have to tell me. The last time was right before I was kicked out of the pack.”

  “Right. Excuse us please.” Aidan gripped Zane’s hip.

  Zane vacillated between a burning fury and numbness. His uncle was a fucked up, cruel man, but what kind of man was Zane to have let it happen? Sure, he couldn’t do much about it as a kid, but as an adult, why hadn’t he done something?

  “Zane,” Aidan’s breath tickled the fine hairs at the back of Zane’s neck. “Stop blaming yourself. It’s very common for abuse victims to continue being victims into adulthood.”

  He wasn’t a victim, he was a damn idiot. Aidan sighed and shook his head.

  “That’s bullshit, but you aren’t going to listen to me right now. Sit on the bed.”

  “Aidan, I can’t just undo a lifetime of thinking because it pisses you off.” Zane sat and let Aidan pull off his shirt and socks. “I know that John was wrong, okay? I even know that he was abusive.” Though saying it out loud was nearly impossible for Zane. “But was I a victim? How could I be a victim now? I can’t… A victim is powerless.”

  Aidan carded his hand through Zane’s hair. “Just sleep, Zane. Sleep and we’ll talk about it when you wake up. Please.”

  “I don’t know if I can. There’s so many thoughts and feelings spinning around in my head,” Zane protested.

  Aidan petted up and down Zane’s back. “I think you can. Your body is worn out. Lay down and try to relax your body at least. When your body is relaxed, your mind will soon follow.” Aidan sounded so sure it irritated Zane.

  “When did you get your psych degree?” Snide and bitchy, but Zane couldn’t seem to help himself.

  “About five years ago at Harvard,” Aidan answered, sounding only a little bit smug. “Now go to sleep.”

  Well, shit. Zane closed his eyes and let the darkness wash over him.

  Aidan listened to Zane’s breathing. He waited until it slowed and his mate’s hard body relaxed. He had felt the emotions battling beneath the surface in Zane, fury and self-loathing that he had allowed himself to be abused. Aidan knew it wasn’t a case of allowing. His mate had been a victim—another word that Zane didn’t like and couldn’t separate from being weak. John had kept Zane under his thumb through violence, physically and mentally, for most of his life. That wasn’t something that someone could put a stop to just because they became a legal adult.

  He would find a way to convince Zane of that; he had to. Zane was teetering on the edge of some dangerous emotions, and Aidan didn’t want his mate to collapse under the weight of them.

  There were things he needed to take care of while Zane slept, and as much as he hated to leave Zane’s side, Aidan made himself slip quietly from the bed. He needed to call and check in with Mariska—and where was his cell phone? Shit. Aidan realised he hadn’t seen it since he’d been in the truck on the way to Shasta. He would have to use Mika or Gabe’s phone and reimburse them for it.

  Aidan closed the bedroom door and walked to the living room, unsurprised to find Gabe and Mika sitting on the couch. They looked up when he entered the room, twin expressions of anger on their faces. Aidan raised one hand up to forestall any questions.

  “I need to call and check in with my captain before we talk. Can I use a phone since I seemed to have misplaced mine?”

  “Sure, you can use mine.” Mika stood and tossed Aidan the cell phone that had been clipped to his belt. “Gabe and I need to go check on Iko and the other dogs, so you’ll have privacy for a few minutes.”

  But not much more than that, Aidan could tell from the look in Mika’s eyes.

  He opened the phone and dialled Mariska’s number as Gabe and Mika left the room.

  She answered on the first ring, efficient as always. “Mariska Rugaby.”

  “Mariska, how is everything with the Gila pack?”

  “I haven’t had this much fun since…ever. Everything is stable here. I was going to call you today if you didn’t check in. And you left your phone in the truck.” Mariska’s sarcastic reply was actually nicer than what Aidan had expected, which worried him.

  “I realise that—now. Look, you might have some trouble with Zane’s uncle, John Trainer. He’s the former alpha and he is dangerous.”

  “There’s been some grumbling about Azrael being appointed alpha. If Zane isn’t returning to his position, I would suggest you get here when you can and make it clear that Azrael is the rightfully appointed alpha. As for John Trainer, I haven’t seen him.” Zane could hear voices in the background—Jordan and Evan asking questions.

  “I want John Trainer found and held for attempted murder. It’s quite possible that he also murdered four more people—that we know of.” Aidan didn’t know if they would be able to prove those claims, but he knew they could bring John Trainer before the Alpha Anax for attempted murder and not just because Zane was Aidan’s mate. He heard Mariska issue the orders to Evan and Jordan before she returned to their conversation.

  “The guards are going after him right now. And in case you’re wondering, we have the three men who attempted to take out your mate. What do you want us to do with them?”

  “Just keep them locked up for now. I don’t know what Marcus—I mean, the Alpha Anax—will want to do with them. I suppose I should call him, too. No,” Aidan decided. “You call him and fill him in.”

  “Of course,” Mariska’s usual sarcasm vanished. “Aidan, is everything… How are you doing? And Zane?”

  Aidan supposed that was her way of asking if he and Zane were working out or not. “Better than I would have hoped, Mariska.” Aidan heard the back door open. “Look, I have to go, but call me back at the number on your caller ID—it’s Mika Blackwell’s phone—if you need me. I’ll try to get there as soon as possible. We still have a few things to work out here.”

  They said their goodbyes while Mika and Gabe returned to their seats on the couch.

  “Thank you,” Aidan handed the phone back to Mika.

  “You’re welcome.” Mika gestured to the chair across from them. “Have a seat.”

  Aidan sat and forced his body to relax. He wanted to be back at Zane’s side when he awakened. Zane’s emotional turmoil worried Aidan. He didn’t know what the repercussions might be. If there weren’t any immediate ones, surely there would be at some point in time, and he wanted to be there for his mate whenever it was.

  He looked at Mika, easily picking up on the guilt the man felt, and shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “Maybe not, but it feels like it is. I knew John didn’t want Zane hanging around me, but I still encouraged him to do it anyway.” Mika’s cheeks darkened. “I’ll admit that part of that was because I wanted more than friendship from him at the time.”

  It was unreasonable to feel jealous, Aidan knew that. He glanced at Gabe and noticed Gabe didn’t seem bothered by Mika’s admission. “Why doesn’t that bother you? Or why does it bother me?” Aidan wanted to smack himself for asking.

  Gabe smiled, his whole face lighting up, and stroked his hand down Mika’s chest. “Because he loves me. So what if he had a crush on Zane. I had crushes at that age, too. But this, what’s between us now is so much more than that. I have no reason to be insecure—oh!” Gabe sat up and leant towards Aidan. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I think.”

  Aidan couldn’t stifle a laugh. “No, I think you’re probably right. I’m secure enough to admit when I’m insecure.”

  “That makes a strange sort of sense.” Gabe looked at Mika. “Doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” Mika tugged on Gabe, pressing him to his chest. “So what are we going to do about John Trainer? I want to know, once and for all, what happened to my parents.”

  “I have my guards looking for him. I don’t know if he’s there and just lying low or if he’s taken off. I told Mariska—she’s my captain—to call your number since I left my phone in the truck like a dumbass.” He shrugged at Mika and Gabe’s amused looks. “What can I say? I was too busy trying to figure out whether I was going to have a fight on my hands when I got out of the truck. I wanted to see Zane. Those were the things I was thinking about, not my phone—or my bag with clean clothes in it.”

  “You’re welcome, as you two have figured out, to whatever is in the dresser in the guest room.” Gabe shrugged. “Other than that, you, at least, will have to either buy some clothes in town or have someone send a few things down.”

  “I don’t imagine we will be here that much longer. If we head to town today, we can grab what we need then. Now,” Aidan studied the mated pair, “are you part of the shifters or not?” Mika started to puff up and Aidan cut him off. “Because I’d hate to lose you two. I think you would both be incredible assets and positive examples that would help bring the shifters into the twenty-first century.”

  Stunned was pretty much how Aidan thought he would describe Mika’s look, whereas Gabe looked pleased.

  “Think about it before you give me an answer.” Aidan stood and started to turn but stopped. “And Gabe?”

  “Yes, Double D?”

  “Either way, I will do what I can about finding you another option.”

  “Huhn.” Gabe chuckled and winked at Aidan. “Looks like I’ll think of you as friend whether you find one or not. Who knew?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Zane woke up disoriented. He sat up and looked around. This wasn’t the living room and he wasn’t on the couch. He blinked until his sleep-blurred vision cleared. That’s right, Aidan had brought him back to the bedroom. Then he remembered what had happened leading up to the trip back to the bedroom.

  It was like a whirlwind, all the emotions that exploded inside Zane. He grabbed his head and slammed his eyes shut. His stomach heaved and he stumbled from the bed, opening his eyes when his shin slammed into the edge of the footboard. Zane’s hands slid down to his belly as his muscles contracted, and he ran for the bathroom, sliding on his knees to hunch over the toilet as his body rejected his stomach contents. He gripped the toilet seat and gagged as he threw up again, a nasty liquid that made him heave painfully.