Right now I just keep getting more confused the more I think about it. I can not make sense out of it!”

  Lee sounded so frustrated Darren wanted to hold him and soothe his frayed nerves like Lee had held him when Darren had broken down. He doubted Lee would go for that, though. “Okay, we can sleep on it and deal with it tomorrow.” Darren would have to tell Lee about Severo and hope Lee didn’t think they were all nuts. He had a feeling Severo—and AFTERMATH

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  maybe Laine—was the only one who would believe them. If Lee didn’t believe him then Darren didn’t know what he’d do.

  Lee’s hand rubbing at the small of his back drained some of the anxiety from Darren, the possessive gesture chasing off the last of the chill that had lingered in him after the weirdness in the motel. He led the way into the house. Lee tucked his fingers into Darren’s waistband and tugged. “Let me lock this.”

  Darren was going to but it felt nice to have Lee taking charge. He waited while Lee locked the screen door first then closed and locked the heavy wooden door. Not that Darren thought the locks would do any good against whatever had come after them earlier. The deep frown turning down Lee’s mouth at the edges probably meant he was thinking the same thing.

  The frown turned into a strained smile as Lee faced him. “Done.” He looked past Darren into the living room. Darren turned and looked as well. Over the past couple of months he’d got used to the crocheted throws that covered the couch and chair and the numerous porcelain knick knacks that were set on just about every flat surface. The dark wood panelling would have made the place gloomy if there hadn’t been so many lamps.

  “Did all this come with the place?”

  Darren laughed as he waved a hand at the décor he privately thought of as old lady chic. “Yeah. I didn’t have anything other than the clothes on my back when Virginia picked me up on 97 and brought me to McKinton.”

  Lee’s mouth tipped down again at the corners as he rubbed at his forehead as if it ached. “I wish I had found you sooner. I tried. I got out of the military and went back to Jackson and you were gone. Mom and Dad were already in the process of moving up to Idaho to be near her family. No one knew where you were or what happened to you.” Lee stopped rubbing and gently cupped Darren’s cheek. “What happened to you, Darren? Where were you these last two years?”

  Darren was already rung out and the questions only made him feel more emotionally vulnerable than he already did. All he really wanted to do was shower and sleep—eating could wait, but Lee deserved answers since he’d been trying to find Darren for so long.

  “Come into the kitchen. We’ll fix some sandwiches and I’ll tell you everything.” Lee was probably hungry, and Darren would eat, too. It wouldn’t take him long to tell his tale.

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  “All right, I appreciate it. You don’t seem eager to talk about it, but I’d like to hear anything you’re willing to tell me.”

  Darren took Lee’s hand, hoping it was okay to do so. Lee linked his fingers through Darren’s and smiled and Darren lit up inside like he had his own personal sun. “It’s just that there’s not much to tell. It’s kind of pathetic, really,” Darren said as he walked beside Lee until they came to the kitchen. He started to pull his hand free—they wouldn’t fit through the doorway, not with Lee’s broad shoulders.

  Lee shook his head and kept Darren’s hand in his, swinging them just a little. “I like this.”

  Darren did too, but—“It’ll be hard to fix dinner like this. Dangerous too if there’s any knives involved.”

  “You have a couple of good points.” Lee let go of his hand and Darren preceded him into the kitchen.

  Darren gestured to the battered wooden chairs at the table. “Have a seat and I’ll get the stuff out.”

  “If you’re sure you don’t want me to help.”

  “I am.” Darren went to the cabinets first and took out two clean plates. He set them on the table then strode to the refrigerator. “All I’ve done the past two years until settling here in McKinton was scrape by. I’ve been homeless, hungry and a bunch of other unpleasant things but I came out okay. I left Jackson right after Stefan’s funeral—literally. Mom was gone, Stefan, and I couldn’t face running into your folks since I’d let Stefan down so badly.”

  “You didn’t, Dar, I told you he was busy with someone else. He wasn’t sitting at home thinking you abandoned him.” Lee’s voice had a sharp edge to it that put Darren on the defensive, although he really liked it when Lee called him ‘Dar’ almost as much as he liked it when Lee called him ‘baby’.

  “I did, especially if Stefan was hanging around someone else,” Darren said firmly as he opened the refrigerator and started pulling out condiments. “I should have known who it was, and made sure they weren’t going to hurt Stefan.” Lee would eventually realise Darren was at fault no matter what had happened to Stefan. Darren was supposed to take care of his friend. He hadn’t. That was what would drive Lee away from him.

  “Darren, I told you—”

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  “I know what you told me,” Darren said, adding lunchmeat and cheese to the items already gathered. “And I’m too tired to argue about it.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “Jesus!” Darren yelped, bobbling everything he was holding. He hadn’t heard Lee walk up behind him, and the man had probably scared a decade off Darren’s life! “Don’t do that!

  Especially after a night when sheets attack!”

  “It’s a habit,” Lee muttered as he reached around Darren to grab some of the load.

  “Now stop changing the subject.”

  Darren spun around and glared at Lee. “I’m not changing the subject! You snuck up on me and scared the crap out of me!”

  Lee’s lips twitched and he shook his head. “It just occurred to me that I haven’t heard you cuss, not even once. You don’t, do you?”

  “Mom didn’t want me to,” Darren muttered. “If that sounds childish, then—”

  “It doesn’t, and it’s good for me to know.” Lee headed back to the table and Darren followed. “I won’t stop cussing entirely—there’s no way I could, especially not when we’re fu—” Lee winced. “Having sex. The rest of the time, though, I’ll at least try.” He set the packages of cold cuts and cheese on the table.

  “You don’t have to, and I liked it when you talked dirty while we were having sex.” It had made Darren’s lust flare even higher.

  Lee shot him a wicked grin before walking to the counter to grab the bread. “Good. But I meant it when I said I’d work on the other, not cussing, at least as much as I have been.” Darren didn’t know why Lee was so willing to try to curb his cursing but it made Darren happy that he even offered to do so. “Okay, thank you.” Lee pulled out a chair for Darren, which made him feel mildly insulted and touched at the same time. He still said thank you though and sat, Lee quickly doing the same.

  “Now, getting back on track,” Lee began and Darren wanted to groan. “I know you felt responsible for Stefan, and everyone, including myself, let you, but the truth of the matter is, Stefan’s family was responsible for him. Me, our parents. We were the ones who should have been watching over Stefan and making sure nothing happened to him. Us, not you. We didn’t, and Stefan paid the price whether his death was accidental or…or not.” Darren understood the legality of it but emotionally he didn’t agree. “You couldn’t watch him, you were gone, and your parents—”

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  Lee cut him off with a sharp slash of his hand through the air. “No. My parents could have hired someone, they could have afforded it, or they could have spent more time with Stefan themselves.” Lee grimaced and tapped his chest. “And I could have stayed in Jackson, but I didn’t. I couldn’t wait to get out of that place, and I wasn’t about to let something like a brother who needed me stop me. So don’t tell me you were selfish. I left and only came back once every year or so. I could have come home more often. I chose not to.” Lee’s eyes were glittering with unshed tears as he stopped talking. Darren tried to find an argument against Lee’s claims that couldn’t also be applied to himself but couldn’t. He wasn’t sure whether he felt any less guilty or not. He’d carried around that weight for so long he didn’t know if he could ever let it go.

  And Lee had to feel at least as responsible as Darren did which spurred him to speak.

  Darren reached for Lee’s hand and waited until Lee looked at him. “Do you think Stefan would be happy knowing we both felt like this? He was so proud of you, going off and serving in the military. Do you think he’d have wanted you to give that up?”

  “He probably would have rather had me at home,” Lee said, looking down at the table or his plate, Darren couldn’t tell.

  “I don’t think so.”

  That got Lee’s attention, gaze shooting back up to Darren’s.

  “Why don’t you think so?”

  Darren could hear the hope in Lee’s voice and he prayed he’d find the right words to ease Lee’s guilt. “Stefan knew he wasn’t going to be able to leave Jackson and do the things you did. The only way he got to experience life outside that place was through you. I mean, yeah, he could see different stuff on TV, but it wasn’t the same. Every time he got a letter or a call from you, he would glow for days and tell everyone he could about his big brother. What would he have had if you’d stayed in Jackson? What would have made him so happy he practically walked on air? What would he have had to look forward to if not your calls, letters and visits?”

  Lee looked thunderstruck, his eyes wide and his lips parted enough that Darren could see a strip of that talented tongue. “I don’t know.”

  “Me either, but I am beginning to believe both of us need to think about why we feel like we do.”

  And if they were lucky they might get some answers they could actually understand.

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  Chapter Eight

  “Why hasn’t anyone killed that da—rooster?” Lee washed the set of deep scratches on his forearm. He wanted to cuss so bad he almost didn’t trust himself to speak. The little red bastard had got him good, digging those talons in and trying to tear a chunk out of Lee’s arm. “He’s a menace. Someday he’s going to pluck out someone’s eye or something. He’s like a chicken on meth or maybe he’s a sociopath.” Lee considered it while Darren opened the antibiotic cream. “Yeah, that fits. You have a sociopathic rooster in your front yard.” Darren pointed the uncapped tube at him. “Are you always this optimistic at five in the morning?”

  Lee turned the sink off and took the clean washcloth Darren had laid out for him. “No, I’m usually asleep at five in the morning—although I’m certainly not complaining about waking up with your sweet lips wrapped around my dick.” Lee grinned and dried his arm off with the washcloth.

  Darren had taken the initiative this morning and Lee had been so surprised, his usual control had failed him. He’d shot his wad a lot sooner than he’d wanted to, but that might have been a good thing. Lee had plans for his lover, plans that would satisfy both of them.

  He held up his arm and let Darren rub the cream over the scratches. Yeah, he could have done it himself but Darren touching him, even if it was like this, was never a bad thing.

  Lee could grow addicted to this man. Maybe he already was. He liked Darren, and while the sex so far had been amazing that wasn’t all there was between them. The more he got to know Darren, the more fascinated he was by him—and with each moment they spent together, Lee was sinking deeper and deeper into the attraction between them.

  He glanced up when Darren’s hand stilled on his arm. Lee’s gaze met Darren’s in the mirror above the sink. Darren’s brown eyes softened, the irises appearing almost liquid in the reflection. He licked his lips, slicking the pink skin, making it glisten.

  “Dar.” Lee wasn’t sure he’d actually spoken or if he’d only mouthed the word. He started to turn and Darren was there, meeting him halfway. Darren cupped the back of Lee’s neck then crushed his mouth to Lee’s. Lee didn’t know where the assertive streak in Darren AFTERMATH

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  came from, but he liked it. A lot. Lee opened for Darren’s tongue and let his lover take the lead.

  * * * *

  After a surprisingly good night’s sleep, Darren had woken up to the realisation that, once he told Lee he suspected there’d been a spirit in the motel room with them, Lee might very likely leave him. Darren had been overwhelmed with the need to make Lee his, much like Lee had done to him yesterday. Darren had to claim at least some part of the man as thoroughly as possible, and if all he could have was Lee’s body he’d take it even though he wanted so much more.

  Darren had swallowed his nerves then swallowed Lee’s cock. Lee had woken with a rumbly moan that had Darren’s balls drawing tight. Sucking Lee off had hurt a little—

  Darren’s chin was still sore but nothing like it had been. Even if he’d been in agony, though, Darren would have continued blowing Lee after hearing the sounds the man made. And watching him, seeing the utter lack of control as Lee writhed and thrashed, ragged breaths cutting the air—Darren had felt like a god for those brief minutes.

  Now the chickens were taken care of and Lee’s arm was doctored, and Darren did not want to talk about what happened in the motel yet. He wanted another chance to bind Lee to him even if it was only until Lee moved on to somewhere else.

  Darren shoved his hands under the waistband of Lee’s sweats, filling his hands with warm, wonderfully firm butt cheeks. He lifted his mouth from Lee’s and trailed kisses across his jaw. Lee murmured and gripped Darren’s hips, tugging to bring their hard cocks into contact through their clothes. Darren squeezed the flesh under his hands, delighting in the soft fuzz that was sprinkled on Lee’s butt. He nipped Lee’s earlobe and the man shuddered.

  Hot spot. Darren sucked the lobe into his mouth as he tickled Lee’s crease with his fingertips.

  He moved his hands down, searching for and finding Lee’s puckered opening.

  “I want in here,” Darren rasped, his cock growing even harder. “Let me.” Lee’s hands clenched bruisingly hard on Darren’s hips. “Anything, whatever you want, I want.”

  Darren tapped a finger against Lee’s hole, delighting in Lee’s ragged moan. “I want to make you mine, just like you did to me.”

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  “Fuck, Dar.” Lee pressed his forehead to Darren’s, his gaze steady. “I am yours, but I want you to fuck me.”

  They kissed and groped their way to the bedroom, somehow managing not to trip as they shed their clothes. Lee started to get the supplies they needed but Darren stopped him with a one-handed push that sent Lee sprawling onto his back on the bed. Lee’s mouth gaped open, surprise widening his eyes. Darren laughed, pleased with himself for having done something to throw Lee off.

  “Stay right there, I’ll get what we need.”

  When Lee didn’t protest Darren assumed it was okay for him to open Lee’s duffle bag and paw through it for the condoms and lube. He found them quickly then strode back to the bed and gave Lee an appreciative look. Lee had said Darren was perfect, but he wasn’t.

  This man, with his thickly muscled thighs spread wide, his furry balls heavy and hanging low, covering the spot Darren ached to fill, was as physically perfect as a man could be. His long fat dick nearly reached his belly button, and the beads of pre cum slicking the bulbous cap made Darren’s mouth water with the need to taste.

  Darren swept his gaze up Lee’s body, marvelling at the deeply etched ridges in his stomach. The firm swell of his pecs were topped with small erect copper-coloured nipples ringed with swirls of hair. His shoulders were broad and stacked with muscle, his neck long and thick. Lee’s hair was spread out on the pillow, framing his gorgeous face. His green eyes were nearly closed, his lips parted as he panted softly.

  Lee was, Darren knew without a doubt, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life.

  Darren crawled onto the bed and knelt between Lee’s thighs. He set the supplies down and ran his hands down the insides of Lee’s legs, noting the way Lee’s skin prickled with goose bumps. Darren hooked his hands behind Lee’s knees and pushed. Lee raised his legs then grabbed the backs of his knees, bringing them to his chest.

  Lee’s willingness to open himself in such a way set Darren’s heart stuttering in his chest. The trust the position implied was a gift that warmed him and sent Darren toppling ever closer to the dangerous emotions he was afraid to accept. Darren dragged in a shaky breath, his lungs suddenly desperate for air. His gaze was drawn to Lee’s balls. Darren cupped them, loving their weight in his hand. He rolled them gently then bent down and sucked one into his mouth.

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  Lee’s body shook hard enough that the mattress vibrated with it, or maybe that was from the long drawn out moan that rent the air. Darren laved the furry nut, sucking it in deep then pushing it back with his tongue. He let it slip from his mouth then promptly took the other one in, giving it the same attention he had the first.

  “Dar, I need…” Lee groaned as Darren worked Lee’s sack into his mouth. Darren hummed and fisted Lee’s cock, pulling it up from where it bobbed against his stomach.

  “God, fuck!”

  Darren smiled around his mouthful then released Lee’s balls with a loud slurp. He licked his way up Lee’s dick, stopping to tease the sensitive bundle of nerves. Lee bucked beneath him and Darren opened wide and engulfed Lee’s dripping glans. He swallowed as much of Lee’s length as he could, gripping the base to keep Lee from gagging him when Lee began to thrust.