“You can’t go back right now, April. I know it’s hard. But you aren’t leaving him. You are simply coming to visit friends and help a friend who needs you.”

  April sighed but still said nothing.

  “Has he called you?” Judith asked.

  “No,” she whispered.

  “Does he usually call you during the day?”

  For some reason, that question stunned April. No, he didn’t call during the day. He never did. He left in the morning and came back at night—except when he didn’t.

  Sometimes he would be gone for work for days, never checking in with her. But he always returned so upbeat and happy to see her, after the first few times it happened, she had stopped questioning why she hadn’t heard from him.

  His attention to her and the kids when he was home made up for it. Or was that what she had been telling herself? The questions she was asking herself made her sick to her stomach.

  When April didn’t answer, Judith added, “I want you to do something for me. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I’m going to ask Cindy, Bree, and Marsha to do the same thing.”

  “What?”

  “I want us all to put the find-a-friend app on our phones. That way, we will know where all the Ruby Sisters are, and although we aren’t in one place, we will still be together, just as we intended when we made our pact.”

  At first, April didn’t like the idea, and then she thought about knowing where everyone was, and it brought her a sense of peace she hadn’t experienced for a long time.

  When they were young, they kept track of each other. They watched each other’s moods, figured out if something bad was going on at home, and then came up with ways to distract and comfort.

  Imagine what that would feel like to be in that space again. Besides, this way, even when I am at home, I’ll still be part of the group, April said to herself.

  “You’re right. I was thinking of calling Ron and going home again,” April admitted. “And I know that’s not a good idea. He should call me, shouldn’t he?”

  April asked, knowing the answer already, and Judith knew she didn’t have to reply to the question.

  “Come and help me find out what Paul wanted us to know. I need help to figure this out, April. Cindy, Bree, and Marsha are looking in the town they think he came from, but I could use a friend and some help here.

  “Besides, Cindy left her art gallery in my hands, and I keep checking in with the two women running it for her. Maybe you could do that for her and me until she returns.”

  A bolt of excitement ran through April, and she realized how different that felt from the bolt of fear she had felt a few hours earlier. And how different it felt, even if only for a moment, than the low-level anxiety and boredom she felt all the time—and hadn’t noticed until now.

  It made her wonder what else she hadn’t noticed. Now was as good a time as ever to make a change, and watching over Cindy’s art gallery was a great place to start.

  “You’re right,” April said, not hearing but feeling Judith’s sigh of relief.

  Thirty minutes later, she had visited the restroom, got some snacks, and installed the app on her phone. So far, the only person on it was Judith, but knowing that Judith would talk to the other three that day, and soon all five of them would be a team again, gave her the same feeling of safety she had when they were growing up together and hadn’t realized she had missed until now.

  This time she set her GPS to Judith’s home address in Spring Falls, knowing that would ensure that she wouldn’t change her mind. Because April knew Judith would watch for her and make another call and get her to turn around if she did. She wouldn’t put it past Judith to get in her car and come after her.

  Judith had reminded her they were the “Z twins“ after all. Even though April had taken Ron’s last name, leaving her name of Zane behind, they were still the two who found each other in the back of the line in second grade.

  April had laughed and agreed, but she knew that there was a reason other than wanting them all to be together that made Judith adamant about her leaving Ron, at least for now, and coming to Spring Falls.

  It’s only for a few weeks. It’s not for good, April told herself. She’d wait until she got to Judith’s before calling Ron at work. Or maybe she wouldn’t call him at all and wait to see what he said when he discovered she wasn’t at home.

  Before pulling out of the parking lot, she tuned the radio to a station that played her favorite 1980s music. Ron didn’t like the radio on when he was in the car, so it was a small act of rebellion. Going to Spring Falls was another.

  The Traveling Wilburys’ “End Of The Line” came on the radio. April laughed and started singing along while the lovely sounding British voice on her GPS told her where to turn and how long it would take to get there.

  Yes, I am doing things differently from now on, she said to herself.

  Inside, she acknowledged she was terrified. Despite that, it was time to find out what her life had been about and what she wanted from it now. She hoped it didn’t mean she’d be without Ron. She loved him, but she needed some answers. Something was wrong. What wasn’t he telling her?

  Twenty-Eight

  Marsha left her car in the restaurant’s parking lot and did just what the waitress suggested. She walked to the library. It was a beautiful spring day, but she barely noticed.

  By the time she got to the library, she had hashed over in her mind multiple scenarios about what she would find, or not find. In her imagination, she walked in, asked the librarian for the perfect place to look for someone who may or may not have lived in Pittsfield, and found Paul and his story within an hour.

  By the time she had reached the library, Marsha had almost convinced herself that it was true.

  It was only when she tried to explain what she was looking for that she realized how impossible this task would be. The librarian smiled and said they had several resources that she could look through to see if she could find the man she was looking for.

  “Have you looked online?” was the librarian’s first question after first introducing herself as Kathy. Marsha told Kathy her name and then answered that she hadn’t, but her friend had, and there was nothing.

  Kathy paused and then asked, “Have you thought that perhaps he wasn’t using the name you knew him by?”

  Marsha rocked back on her heels as all her hopes of finding Paul vanished. It was a complete waste of time. But because it was Paul who had sent them on this trip and they had to find out why, she asked the next question, when what she really wanted to do was go back to the hotel and maybe even back to bed.

  “Well, if that was true, how can I ever find him?”

  “How important is this?” Kathy asked.

  “Very,” Marsha answered, and then gave Kathy a brief scenario of why they were looking.

  After hearing the story, Kathy said, “It’s essential then, so let’s assume he knew you’d come here, and look for what he meant by the statement, ‘this is where it started.’

  “If, as you say, he kept this secret for a long time and only after his death was willing for his wife to find out about it, then it might have been something that happened that got written up in the newspaper.

  “You could go through old newspapers looking for a story that might have caused someone to run away and maybe even change their name.”

  Marsha now envisioned herself locked into an endless and perhaps fruitless search instead of getting an immediate answer. She would need the help of Cindy and Bree to do this, but at least she could get started.

  Kathy and Marsha talked about possible scenarios and decided that Paul must have been at least a teenager when whatever happened, happened.

  And because Paul had been teaching at Spring Falls Community College for two years before Bree had claimed him for her husband, they could narrow the timeframe. Having reduced the search down to only fifteen years, Marsha settled in front of the microfiche machine and began the search.

  “Let me know if you need more,” Kathy said. “I have a few other ideas about places where you can look.”

  Marsha nodded and began the task of reading old newspapers, searching for any story that might have triggered someone to hide from it for their entire life. Within a few hours, she was both depressed and frustrated.

  Focusing on bad news, she had found so much of it she had to keep reminding herself that life was good because there were enough fires, accidents, murders, abductions, and other assorted tragedies it could destroy anyone’s belief in the quality of God’s grace.

  Even though Marsha never thought of herself as a religious person, she kept herself sane most of the time by believing that grace existed and she could find it if she looked for it hard enough.

  But after four hours of searching through tragedies, she questioned if that was true. Where was a god in all of that?

  Time to get out of here, she told herself.

  She was depressed and uncomfortable. Her hair was sticking to the back of her neck—she hated hair on her neck. She either needed to keep it up in the dancer’s bun or get it cut.

  Plus, the waistband of her pants was digging into her sides. Either stop eating so much or go to elastic waistbands, she told herself. It would probably be elastic waistbands because she was hungry again.

  Besides, she needed to get ready to surprise Cindy and Bree. She had written a list of likely events that might have been Paul’s trigger for running away.

  Of course, there was no boy, or young man, named Paul in any of the stories. That would have been too easy. But Marsha had decided that it was possible—probable—that he had changed his name.

  Marsha stopped by the front desk on her way out of the library and thanked Kathy for her help.

  “Did you find anything?”

  Gesturing to the notes in her hand, Marsha answered, “Yes. Lots of terrible things that happened, but nothing specific for the man I’m looking for.”

  “Well, when I get depressed over all the bad stuff in the world, I remind myself of two things.”

  “What are they?”

  “That they are far outweighed by the good things that I take for granted, and to look for God’s grace in the helpers, as Mr. Rogers said.”

  Tears popped up in Marsha’s eyes, surprising her. “Thank you for the reminder. I’ll be back tomorrow with a few friends to look again.”

  “I’ll be here, and I have some ideas of other places to look. Didn’t you say that this man meant this search and what you find to be a gift to his widow?”

  Marsha nodded, brushing away a tear that had escaped. “But I’m afraid we are going to find some terrible things that will be painful for her.”

  Kathy came around from the back of the desk where she had been standing and reached out to hold both of Marsha’s hands.

  “But the secret has been painful all along, don’t you think? Yes, you and your friends might have to face some terrible truths, but then the healing can begin.”

  Marsha and Kathy exchanged a brief hug as Marsha whispered, “Thank you.”

  As Kathy watched Marsha walk away, she reached into her desk drawer, pulled out a letter, and then made a phone call to the number listed there. She had not understood the letter when she first received it and had almost forgotten about it, thinking it might be a prank.

  But when she heard Marsha’s story that morning, she remembered it and wondered if this woman was the one the letter mentioned would show up one day. At first, she hadn’t thought so but then realized that Marsha wasn’t the woman the letter referred to, but that woman would be in town soon.

  As Kathy made the phone call, she wondered who the lawyer would be contacting. All she knew was that someone would come to help the searchers, and she got to be part of the solution.

  God’s grace,” she said to herself. Look for it in the helpers.

  Twenty-Nine

  Marsha made it back to her car in a daze, no longer hopeful that they would find Paul. Yes, they would go back to the library and look again in the morning, but she was reasonably sure it was a lost cause.

  Marsha could feel the all too familiar self-pity and discouragement trying to take over, but she kept pushing it away using the mantras that usually worked. She had no time for her mood swings. She had to get ready for the Bree and Cindy surprise.

  Settling into the front seat of the car and opening all the windows to let in some fresh air, Marsha checked the find-a-friends app that Judith had asked her to install. She did it because Judith asked her to, but now, looking at it and seeing all four of the Ruby Sisters’ names and their location moved her from self-pity to gratitude. They were together again. How had she let that part of her life slip away?

  She could see April had arrived in Spring Falls. Judith had told her that April was coming to help them. But the catch in Judith’s voice made her think there was more to the story than that, because, as far as she knew, this was the first time April had visited without Ron. She wasn’t even sure they had ever come back after Paul and Bree’s wedding.

  Part of Marsha hoped that meant Ron would stay away, but then berated herself. April loved him. She needed to accept that he was also part of their group, just as Paul was.

  The realization that there were no other men took her by surprise. Why not? Out of the five Ruby Sisters, only two of them had relationships? Perhaps it was something they could explore together. But not now, maybe never. She knew why there wasn’t a man for her, but that was not something she would ever share, even with her friends, especially with these friends.

  Marsha made sure she allowed all of them to find her on their find-a-friend app and then realized that meant that Bree and Cindy would know she was in Pittsfield.

  Well, that surprise is ruined, Marsha thought, unless they don’t look at the app.

  At that moment, her phone rang, and Cindy was shouting and sobbing.

  “You’re there? How did that happen? Where are you? Why are you?”

  Marsha answered the last question, since all the answers to the other questions were obvious.

  “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “Well, it worked! We can’t believe it. Bree is driving, so she can’t talk, but where can we meet?”

  “Why not register in the same hotel as me? I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

  Thirty minutes later, three women ran towards each other screaming and crying, causing everyone near to turn in alarm.

  But when it was apparent that it was a joyous reunion, they smiled before turning away, feeling better about the world, if only for a moment.

  Thirty

  The three friends chose room service. They remembered being asked to leave restaurants in their youth because their laughing and giggling bothered people, and being older would not stop them from doing the same thing. Besides, this time, they knew there would be some sobbing as well.

  They ordered what they used to order. Two pizzas, both loaded with everything, except half of one was meatless for Bree, as it had been since high school.

  “Doesn’t it feel as if we have never been apart?” Cindy asked, looking at two friends she had known almost her entire life.

  They had pulled a table between the two beds and put the pizzas, sodas, and stacks of napkins on it. Marsha sat on one bed, her legs crossed, and Cindy and Bree sat on the edge of the other bed.

  Tipping her head back to get the long string of cheese hanging off her pizza into her mouth, Marsha mumbled, “Yes and no.”

  All three fell silent, thinking how long it had been since they had been together.

  It was Bree who broke the silence. “I’m sorry.”

  She didn’t need to explain what she was sorry for, but there was a long silence before Marsha asked,”Why did you leave and then stay away, Bree?”

  Bree shook her head. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry I can’t, I just can’t.”

  Cindy put her arm around her friend, and Bree let herself lean in for a moment.

  “Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? We’re together again, and besides, we have a mystery to solve.”

  Marsha watched as panic flashed in Bree’s hazel eyes and wondered if this was a mystery that Bree was afraid to solve. It was understandable. It had to be hard to worry if your husband was who you thought he was and what secret he had kept all these years.

  Maybe she doesn’t want to know, Marsha thought. Perhaps she is still running from the truth. Bree could be lying about what Paul said. She’s the one who led us here. Maybe we are on a wild goose chase.

  But Marsha knew Bree well. It would go against everything Bree believed in to lie to them. Bree had never lied to them before. Yes, she ran away, but probably to keep from lying about something.

  Marsha understood that. Hadn’t she done the same thing? Maybe she hadn’t disappeared the way Bree and Paul did, but she had kept away to keep her own secret.

  As if she knew what Marsha was thinking, Bree said, “I do want to understand why Paul wrote those letters. He wanted me to know something. Something he was afraid to tell me when he was alive.

  “And yes, I am terrified to find out what it is. Was Paul the man I thought I married? Was the life we lived a lie? It didn’t feel like one. But what if I am wrong, and he wasn’t who I thought he was?”

  “And what if he was?” Cindy said. “What if he kept from you whatever this secret is because he was afraid to tell you, afraid of how you would feel about it? But if it happened before you met him, then I think he should have trusted you with it.”

  Marsha nodded. “Yes, perhaps he should have, but Bree, you know how it is. Telling someone something you have kept secret for a long time can make it into a bigger thing than it is. Maybe that’s what happened with Paul.”

  Bree gave Marsha a long look, and for a moment, Marsha was afraid that she had revealed something she hadn’t meant to reveal. But then Bree looked away, and Cindy said, “And now he wants you to know. He could have left it alone, and he didn’t. Perhaps that means it’s going to be a good thing for you.