Mucked out Prancer and Vixen.

  Wednesday 26 November

  Mucked out Comet and Cupid.

  Thursday 27 November

  Mucked out Donner and Blitzen.

  Friday 28 November

  Mucked out Rudolph.

  I think he might have a bad tummy because… I don’t know how to put this nicely… the floor of his stable is a bit liquid.

  I was just sloshing the last shovelful of slimy manure into the barrow when its front wheel collapsed, pouring its entire contents into my wellingtons.

  ‘Now that’s unlucky,’ said a friendly voice.

  I looked around, but all I could see was an old reindeer with a red nose.

  ‘There’s a tap over there. You can wash your boots out. Sorry about the stall – had a bit of a funny tummy last night.’

  It was Rudolph, and his lips were moving!

  ‘Err… thanks,’ I said, once I had recovered from the shock. ‘Sorry, I’ve never met a talking reindeer.’

  Rudolph bared his teeth, pulling his mouth up at the sides, which I guess was his attempt at a smile.

  ‘If it’s any consolation,’ he said, ‘neither have I. I seem to be the only one. Here, watch this.’

  He turned to face the neighbouring stall.

  ‘How’s the hay today, Blitzen?’

  I followed his gaze to where Blitzen was staring blankly into space.

  ‘See? Not a word. I’ve tried everything: sport, politics, celebrity gossip. Not a dicky bird. I find it very difficult. You see, being heard is one of my things.’

  Blitzen snorted and shook his antlers.

  ‘I think he can hear,’ I said. ‘He just can’t reply.’

  There was a long pause, while Rudolph looked at me, then at Blitzen, then at me again.

  ‘You think?’ he asked, with a note of genuine surprise.

  I kicked off my boots and rinsed them under the tap. Then I rinsed my feet and socks. Then I wondered how I was going to dry myself.

  ‘Here,’ said Rudolph. ‘Use this.’ He tugged the blanket off his back and tossed it over to me.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘Well, your stall’s clean. Anything else I can do for you?’

  ‘Now you mention it… If you could just pass me some of those dry oats from the hopper there? This stuff is a tad damp.’

  I did as he asked.

  ‘May I ask one more favour?’ he said.

  ‘Anything,’ I replied.

  ‘Would you mind standing a bit further away? It’s just that you absolutely stink.’

  Saturday 29 November

  Plum woke me up early. On a Saturday.

  ‘Phew!’ she said. ‘What’s that smell?’

  ‘Sorry,’ I answered. ‘I didn’t have time for a shower last night.’

  Leaf, Twig and Pin sat up in their bunks.

  ‘One of my friends wants a lemur!’ squeaked Leaf. ‘And mine!’ said Twig. ‘And mine!’ said Pin. ‘And all the kids in my class you made lemurs for, their brothers and sisters want one too!’ added Plum.

  It’s nice to feel wanted. Even if I can’t be a Toymaking Elf, at least I can make toys for the children in the village.

  Sunday 30 November

  Spent the day making ninety-four lemurs.

  ‘So? What news from Christmas House?’ asked Bay, when she and Bo came by for lunch.

  ‘It’s really exciting,’ I said. ‘I’m training to be a Reindeer Elf.’

  Bo and Bay smiled at each other.

  ‘I thought you wanted to make toys?’ asked Bo.

  ‘I used to,’ I said. ‘But I think this is more me.’

  ‘So what sort of thing does a Reindeer Elf do?’ asked Bo.

  ‘Where do I start?’ I said. ‘Grooming. Waxing harnesses. Exercising.’

  ‘Anything else?’ asked Bay.

  ‘Absolutely,’ I replied. ‘Nutrition. Hoof care. Dressage. Loads of stuff.’

  ‘What about mucking out?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said slowly. ‘There’s a little bit of that too.’

  ‘Because my friend Star who works in the Clementine Forest says you spend all day shovelling poo.’

  I was about to say that without the slurry from the reindeer to fertilise the clementine trees, there wouldn’t even be a Clementine Forest, but I thought better of it.

  Monday 1 December

  Disaster.

  When I arrived at work this morning there was a large crowd outside the reindeer stables, staring up at a hole in the roof.

  ‘What’s happened?’ I asked.

  ‘Some Trainee Elf was mucking out the reindeer, and he gave Rudolph magic oats,’ said a Postal Elf. ‘Poor Rudolph shot up like a rocket. He’s been up there all weekend.’

  I glanced over at the hopper I had fed Rudolph from. The oats were sparkly. Next to it was another hopper, with ordinary oats in it. How had I not noticed that before?

  I stopped by Mission Control. There was a large crowd of elves watching the screen, as a red blinking light tracked across Greenland.

  ‘There he goes,’ said an elf with a buzz cut. ‘Looks like he’s circling the North Pole.’

  ‘Trying to burn off some steam,’ said another.

  I decided to leave everyone to it, and went to muck out Dasher and Dancer.

  Ola was waiting for me.

  ‘You’ve heard about Rudolph?’

  ‘I’m really sorry,’ I said.

  ‘He’s done three thousand miles in the last half hour and he’s been going round in circles all weekend!’

  ‘I know. I think I gave him magic oats by mistake.’

  Ola’s face clouded with anger.

  ‘Tog! What were you thinking?’

  ‘It was an accident,’ I blurted. ‘He asked me for them and I didn’t see the sparkly bits.’

  There was a long pause while Ola tried to get the better of his temper. When he finally spoke, his words were curt and gruff.

  ‘Being a Christmas Elf… it’s not for everyone.’

  ‘It’s one mistake,’ I protested. ‘You can’t fire me for one mistake!’

  ‘When it’s a mistake this big –’ he shrugged – ‘I’m afraid I can.’

  Tuesday 2 December

  Don’t really feel like writing my diary today.

  Wednesday 3 December

  Or today.

  Thursday 4 December

  Or today.

  Friday 5 December

  I’ve even made Socks depressed. He’s just curled up in his basket with his back to everyone.

  Saturday 6 December

  There were three more kids at the door this morning, wanting me to make lemurs.

  I told them I’ve retired.

  ‘Why?’ they asked.

  ‘Because I’m not a Christmas Elf,’ I said. ‘I’ve been fooling myself. I just don’t have what it takes.’

  Then I went back to bed.

  Then Twig and Plum woke me up.

  ‘Tog, get up! You have to come!’

  ‘Come where?’

  ‘Christmas Place.’

  ‘It’s Saturday,’ I replied. ‘Plus, they fired me, remember?’

  ‘There’s a demonstration! About you! Every young elf in the village is there!’

  As we got to the top of the hill we could hear voices chanting:

  ‘Take Tog Back! Take Tog Back!’

  Outside Christmas Place there was a huge crowd of young elves, with some baby elves as young as fifty. Ola was at the gates, trying to reason with them, but all the elves just booed him.

  ‘Tog deserves a second chance!’ shouted one.

  ‘Lemur-lovers unite!’ bawled another.

  ‘Tog!’ hissed Plum. ‘You’re famous!’

  Sunday 7 December

  Well, today has been the strangest in my entire one hundred and sixty years, and that includes the time I ate some leftover turkey three weeks after Christmas and got food poisoning.

  It started when Steinar called at our house.

  When I asked him what he was doing there, he said Father Christmas wanted to see me.

  ‘But I messed up,’ I said. ‘Ola fired me for giving Rudolph magic oats.’

  ‘I know,’ said Steinar. ‘But Father Christmas believes in second chances.’

  He had a husky sled waiting and we drove out of the town, through the forest, all the way to Father Christmas’s lodge.

  There was a huge Christmas tree in the front garden, covered in brightly coloured lights.

  Steinar tied up the huskies and led me inside. ‘Now don’t embarrass me, Tog,’ he hissed, as we entered a hallway glowing with a roaring fire, with garlands of holly wrapped around the banisters, draped over the mantelpiece and hanging from the ceiling.

  I followed Steinar into the dining room, where everyone was eating. They had laid places for us at a table heaving with every delicious type of food you could imagine.

  ‘Hi, Tog. Come and get some pie before I eat it all!’ called a cheerful voice.

  It was Holly, sitting in the middle of her nine older brothers and seven older sisters, some of whom I recognised from Christmas Place. Then I spotted Max smirking at me from behind an enormous chicken leg and my excitement quickly disappeared. Mrs Christmas served me a huge slice of steaming pie and vegetables, and told me to call her Gerda.

  There was lots of laughter, and after lunch we stood around the fire with cups of mead and sang Christmas carols.

  Later on, Father Christmas invited me to his study. He seemed different to when I bumped into him at the gates that time – much less stressed. I told him so, but he didn’t seem to know what I was talking about. I guess there are a lot of elves at the workshop and it’s hard for him to keep track.

  He held up one of my lemurs.

  ‘Do you know who this belongs to?’

  I shook my head. Father Christmas gestured towards a comfortable-looking chair in front of his desk, and I sat down.

  ‘My grandson Sprig. He goes to the same school as your sister Plum. He says you made it for him.’

  I nodded.

  ‘And do you know what else he said?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘He said it’s his favourite toy.’

  Father Christmas beamed at me, and as nervous as I was, I couldn’t help but grin back.

  There was a knock at the door and Steinar entered, carrying a large cardboard box.

  ‘The fairy dust has arrived,’ he announced, and he opened the box to reveal a tiny jar with a cork stopper, full of sparkly powder.

  ‘What’s that?’ I asked.

  Father Christmas and Steinar looked at one another, as if they were deciding whether or not to share an important secret.

  ‘Sometimes,’ said Father Christmas in a low voice, ‘when I try to deliver the presents, the children aren’t quite asleep. So I take a tiny pinch of this and…’

  He mimed putting a pinch of dust in his hand, then blew it towards me. I felt his breath on my face, and it smelled of sugarplums.

  ‘It sends them into a deep, deep sleep.’

  I wanted to pinch myself. Was Father Christmas really sharing his secrets with me, Tog Harket of the East Village? What would Leaf, Twig, Pin and Plum think of this? Let alone my mother and father, and Bay and Bo?

  ‘On the subject of deep sleep, Tog,’ said Steinar, ‘I feel that’s what I must have been in, ever since I met you. I owe you an apology. I’ve taken your Christmas Spirit reading three times, and each time it’s been so high that I thought my Spirit Gauge was broken. I realise now those readings were correct; it was me that was at fault. You have more Christmas Spirit than everyone else in Christmas Place put together!’

  ‘Now, now,’ said Father Christmas. ‘Let’s not go overboard. The point is, Tog, perfection in presents is important. That’s why we train our elves to make every toy the same. No one wants a situation where two children ask for bicycles, and one bicycle is better than the other. But there’s an exception. An exception I think you understand better than anyone.’

  He walked out from behind his desk and sat next to me on the arm of the chair.

  ‘Every child in the world has One Special Toy. A toy that becomes a friend. Where they go, it goes. Every time they go to sleep, they want it next to them. If it gets lost, their parents will move heaven and earth to find it for them, it’s that important.’

  He put his hand on my shoulder.

  ‘That toy can be many things. It can be a teddy bear, a rabbit, a dog… even a blanket.’

  He held Sprig’s lemur up in front of us. Its lopsided mouth seemed to be grinning.

  ‘Or one of your lemurs.’

  He pushed Sprig’s lemur into my chest. I couldn’t really see how its wonky eyes and slightly ragged tail were special, but I didn’t want to contradict Father Christmas, so I nodded along.

  ‘Every other kind of toy we make has to be perfect. But not the special toys. They have to be one of a kind. Few elves can make them. And you…’

  He sat back down behind his desk and looked me squarely in the eye.

  ‘You are one of those elves.’

  The special toys have to be one-of-a-kind

  Monday 8 December

  I made it!

  I’m a Toymaking Elf!

  I’ve got my own bench and everything, right next to Max and Holly.

  I’m making lemurs for Christmas!

  I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my entire life.

  Tuesday 9 December

  I made 564 lemurs today.

  Max is much nicer to me these days. At lunchtime today he let me play the ice-skating game on his VR headset.

  He’s asked me to go skating with him and Holly next weekend.

  Maybe I was wrong about him.

  I’m not sure Ola is happy that I’m back in the workshop. I saw him whispering to Steinar, and afterwards they both looked really worried.

  Tomorrow I’m going to try extra hard with my lemurs. Maybe then they’ll see that Father Christmas was right to give me a second chance.

  Wednesday 10 December

  Made 565 lemurs. That’s a new personal best.

  Thursday 11 December

  Made 563 lemurs. Real off-day.

  Friday 12 December

  I made 565 lemurs. I would have made 566 or possibly even 567, but this morning Ola and Steinar called a surprise meeting for all the Toymaking Elves, which took up a bit of time.

  ‘I want to talk to you all about security,’ said Steinar.

  Slowly, the hammering, sawing and filing stopped as one by one all the Toymaking Elves realised they were being spoken to.

  ‘I don’t know how to say this. But Steinar and I have counted the toys in the warehouse and some of them are missing.’

  A loud gasp rang around the room.

  ‘It could be a mistake,’ said Steinar. ‘It’s always possible that we’ve miscounted, or that there’s a sackful of toys somewhere, fallen behind a workbench, perhaps, or…’

  He looked at Ola.

  ‘We’ve been concerned about this for a while, but I really can’t think of how it could have happened. Unless…’

  He seemed unwilling to say the words that were forming on his lips.

  ‘… someone stole them.’

  The room burst into excited chatter, as elf turned to elf in disbelief.

  ‘I know, I know,’ said Ola. ‘It’s hard to imagine. But we have to face the possibility that somewhere here in Christmas Place… is a thief. So from now on I want each and every one of you to keep your eyes and ears open. And if any of you sees anything out of the ordinary, please report to me.’

  Saturday 13 December

  Went skating with Max and Holly. They showed me their routine for the Boxing Day Pairs Competition. It’s really good, though a lot of it involves Holly watching while Max does pirouettes.

  Max asked me what I thought of it, and I said maybe Holly should do some pirouettes herself.

  For a minute he looked quite cross. Then he smiled and he said he thought that was a really good suggestion.

  ‘Tell you what, Tog,’ he said. ‘You should be our coach.’

  I said maybe Max should dip Holly at the end.

  They didn’t understand, so I dipped Holly to demonstrate.

  Unfortunately when I was dipping her my ears went really hot and I got a nosebleed.

  Luckily Max made it stop by putting snow down the back of my tunic. Afterwards we went for hot chocolates, and Holly said that Father Christmas is really worried about the toys going missing.

  Max said it was probably just a misunderstanding, and I agreed with him. I mean, there’s no way any of the elves at the workshop would ever be involved in stealing.

  Sunday 14 December

  Oh wow.

  It’s early.

  I mean, really early.

  In fact, it’s the middle of the night.

  But I just remembered something.

  When Steinar took me to Father Christmas’s lodge, and Father Christmas put his hand on my shoulder…

  HE DIDN’T HAVE A CANDY CANE TATTOO.

  So that must mean that the night I went to Christmas Place…

  That Father Christmas was a fake!

  What if he’s the thief everyone’s looking for?

  Monday 15 December

  First thing this morning, I went to tell Ola. The mail train had just come in, and he was working on the platform, supervising the Postal Elves.

  I told him the whole story, about how a fake Father Christmas had bumped into me, and he had been carrying lots of toys. And that I knew he was fake because he had criss-crossed candy canes tattooed on his hand!