“D-don’t come, too.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  And he doesn’t. For God knows how long, Rob helps fuck me on his cock as he rides the dildo. I climax. We moan together. I peak again. We embrace each other. Somewhere along the way our lips fuse, tongues tangling in a sweet caress. Not once does my Big Man let his doubts creep in. Not once do I become a faceless slut. I’m his, and he’s mine as we bask in the pleasure our bodies create—in the love we share.

  Licking his swollen bottom lip, I pry my mouth away from Rob’s, panting to catch my breath. My forehead drops to his damp shoulder. I’m wrung out, pussy pleasantly sore. “I can’t believe I let that happen,” I grouse, cheeks flaming hot with embarrassment.

  “Sex with Tyler the other night was cut short, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes. How did you know?”

  “Because you’re needier, less focused when you’ve gone without our cocks for too long.” Aside from his rough sandpaper voice, Rob doesn’t seem bothered by this in the slightest. He should be. I broke the scene. And I never do that. Ever. This isn’t like me at all. It’s bad enough that I come half the time as soon as they enter me. Who does that? Me. With Tyler this week, that was forgivable. I’d been stretched to my limit, as was he. Neither of us lasted. Tonight… Sheesh…

  Wrapping my arms around his torso in a hug, I nuzzle my nose in the crook of Rob’s freshly marred neck. “I feel like a fraud.”

  “Nobody’s perfect, Ronan.” He runs a steady palm down my spine, soothing me when I don’t deserve it. “Not even our Mistress. You can’t let yourself get this bad again.”

  “I thought Kendra satisfied me enough.”

  “Kendra isn’t us. She doesn’t have a dick or your heart.”

  “I know. But shit…this is mortifying.”

  Rob chuckles. Freaking chuckles, even though his cock is still as hard as stone inside me. Reaching behind him, he snags the corner of his pant leg and drags the denim closer. Then he digs into a pocket and pulls out his cell phone. A few taps on the screen later and I hear… Tyler’s voice.

  “Rob, what’s goin’ on? Aren’t you two supposed to be in session?”

  I clam up not wanting to talk to them about this.

  “We are.”

  I don’t have to look to know Rob’s panning over our bodies for Tyler to see.

  There’s a distinct groan through video chat. “You’re having sex already?”

  “We weren’t supposed to,” I mumble into Rob’s neck, wanting to disappear.

  “Next time you two have a short night of sex, you gotta stay to give her more in the mornin’.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?” Tyler asks, way too concerned.

  “She kinda jumped me tonight. Couldn’t help herself.”

  “Did you say, jumped you? You mean like she did to me last year when you went on vacation?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I hate you both so damn much right now,” I complain. Why do they have to go and bring that up? We agreed never to speak of it again. I’d had another moment of weakness, it’s not like it happens all the time.

  Enjoying my discomfort way too much, Rob full-on body laughs and relays my grievance to Tyler, since he can’t read my lips in this position.

  My sexy artist joins in on Rob’s amusement with a hearty chuckle of his own.

  “I’m never having sex with you again.” I nip Rob’s neck to cement my silly declaration. His cock flexes inside me, ruining any progress I’ve made to stay mad at them. Why do they have to be so darn attractive, and have such nice dicks? Add their personalities into the mix, and I’m a goner. It’s not fair. Truly. I rule over numerous men in a given week, none of which tempt me like they do. Not even Bonez, one of the hottest subs I’ve ever worked with.

  Rob pats my butt affectionately, dropping an equally nice kiss to the side of my head.

  “I can’t believe you called Tyler,” I whisper hiss.

  The jerks. All of them.

  “He’s better with this emotional stuff than I am.”

  I want to argue that’s not true, but it is.

  “Ronan, we’re not your clients. You’re allowed to let go sometimes. We’re okay with that,” my hot masochist reasons.

  That’s not true. What if Rob couldn’t handle it? What if he had an episode? That would’ve been my fault. I would have provoked it. The last thing I want is him throwing up after sex, or worse. Trust me, there’s been way worse. Sure, it hasn’t happened in a few years, but it has happened. With the strides he’s made, I can’t stomach the thought of him relapsing like that again. Not with me.

  “Yeah. What he said,” Rob agrees, still hard, still his teddy bear self.

  Sighing, I sit up to see Tyler’s handsome face staring back at me from the phone.

  “It wasn’t on purpose,” I speak aloud, not signing for Rob’s benefit. He doesn’t know much ASL.

  Tyler replies a firm, “Doesn’t matter if it was.”

  “He’s riding the dildo. The blue one.” I’m pretty sure that’s what did me in.

  Tyler’s large lips form into a shocked “O.” “The one we picked out for him?”

  I nod. “The same one.”

  “Fuuck.” Moaning like he’s in pain, Rob hands me the cell, and drops his own forehead to my shoulder, massive arms wrapping around me in a vise.

  Um… okay. That’s weird.

  “What’s wrong?” I card my fingers through his short hair as Tyler and I watch our Big Guy with concern.

  “Is he okay?” Tyler asks, brows furrowed, blue eyes radiating warmth.

  I shrug.

  Rob’s cock jerks at the sound of Tyler’s voice. “Please don’t move,” he croaks.

  “What? Why?”

  “’Cause I’m gonna come if you do.”

  Giving Rob a second to reel in whatever’s going on inside his head, I mouth to Tyler, “He said he’s going to come.”

  “You think it’s because of the dildo?” he signs.

  “Maybe?”

  “You think he likes that we both picked it out for him?”

  “Would you?”

  “Hell yes, I would. You’re my partners.”

  Interesting.

  “Big Man, you doing alright?” Tyler asks out loud, winking at me with a grin.

  “Shut up, boy,” Rob grunts in distress. “This is all your fault.”

  I relay the sentiment to boy, and he laughs a light, chest-rumbling sound that heats me from the inside out. My heart gives a little kick.

  Following by example, I expel my own muted giggle. Rob joins in too with a growl of frustration. I cup the back of his neck and turn my face in to land a peck.

  “No coming,” I remind, lips skimming the side of his head.

  “Then both of you, shut up.”

  “Are our voices the problem, babe? Wouldn’t it be better if I got up?” I’m part serious, part teasing. This is kinda fun.

  “Fuck no.”

  Embracing my Domme side, no longer ashamed, I clench around Rob’s girth and lean my weight forward to force that dildo further up his canal, testing his obedience.

  Rob’s fingers dig into my back, as short puffs of moist air bathe the side of my neck. Yet, he doesn’t make a peep. Not one. He must be concentrating. That’s either a good sign or bad, if he goes to a dark place.

  Determined to push his limits further in a positive direction, I rotate my hips in small circles. Still no reaction. Oh boy, that won’t do. Needing the use of both hands, I blow Tyler a kiss goodbye and end the chat. He’ll understand. He always does.

  Setting the phone on the ground, I take control of our unbalanced situation. Unlatching my man’s arms from around me, he grumbles his displeasure but doesn’t put up a fight. To reset the tone where it should’ve been all along, I carefully dismount his erection. Rob doesn’t like that one bit when a full-fledged shudder overtakes his body, testing his restraint. Those gorgeous eyes slam shut as his clenched fists jab into the tops of his thighs, biceps flexing.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I whisper, not wanting to make matters worse.

  A low rumble is his reply.

  Dropping his head forward, rivulets of sweat pour down Rob’s pinched face. I hope this is him battling an orgasm, not something worse. Maybe Tyler and I were wrong. Maybe Rob didn’t like that we picked out the toy for him. I don’t think that’s true. However, I haven’t seen him this edgy during a scene in three years. And it’s never been like this before.

  Treading lightly, I rest on my knees in front of him, ass perched on feet.

  Minutes tick by with no resolution in sight.

  His jaw doesn’t unlock. Nor does the coiled tension in Rob’s shoulders dissipate the slightest. I want to instruct him to remove the toy from his bottom, to get relief if that’s what’s causing his torment. But I’m afraid to speak. For all I know he’s reliving years of psychological abuse in his mind. My parents were free-spirited hippies; I have no firsthand experience of what he’s endured. Only that I respect his past and will always nurture our future, one step at a time. Even when it gets tough, like now, when I’m left navigating in the dark.

  Rob’s breathing intensifies and legs begin to shake.

  His cock is so hard it could hammer railroad spikes up and down the Florida coastline.

  What’s going on inside that mysterious head of yours, handsome?

  Knowing I can’t ask that aloud and get a coherent response, I do the only thing I know how to do. I grab the bottle of lube, click open the top, drizzle a fair amount into my palm, reclose the cap, then warm the liquid by rubbing my hands together, spreading it around. Rob doesn’t peek to see what I’m up to. Something about this doesn’t sit right in my stomach, and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.

  Quit it, Ronan, now’s not the time for guilt.

  Closing my eyes, I center myself and focus on the task at hand—Operation Fix the Big Guy. My fear has no place here. We’ve been through far worse. I can do this. I can salvage our time together. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to think outside the box. I pretty much do that every day.

  A final exhale, and I’m ready to test the invisible limits. Pray, I don’t screw this up.

  Leaning forward the slightest bit, I wrap both hands tightly around his boner, and the response is immediate.

  “Ronan!” Rob roars, raspy and raw.

  That’s better than nothing, Big Guy. I’ll take what I can get.

  Determined to see this through, I jack that piece of meat in long, strong, moan-inducing strokes. And what beautiful moans they are. Wild and cantankerous ones that are filled with equal parts rage and lust, love and hate, pleasure and pain.

  Those expressive eyes snap open on the next upward tug, and lock on me, silently begging for something I can’t put my finger on. No words are exchanged as I watch my man begin to fray apart at the seams. Pre-cum leaks from Rob’s slit, adding to the lube. His body succumbs to its baser needs, pulse throbbing through my fingertips. The heat of his gaze sears straight through me. Yep, he wants this. I can feel it deep in my soul. This is us getting back to the basics. Back to us, where he needs to be.

  It’s time to retake the upper hand.

  “Ride it,” I order.

  Submitting without protest, Rob shamelessly fucks himself on the dildo, as I edge him closer to the brink of no return.

  “Play with your nipples,” a sterner command.

  Eyes tipping back into his skull, those fists unfold from Rob’s thighs to do what I know he craves. Thumb and forefingers work in tandem to twist and pluck those sharp points ’til he is lost in the labyrinth of ecstasy.

  “Fuck!” he bellows between moans.

  That’s it.

  I drive him to the precipice.

  Rob stills on the toy, yet I stroke him faster, smiling at the magnificent sight before me. I’m going to wreck him. Mark him with my touch, and my love, until he no longer knows what’s sin and what’s not.

  Heavy balls coated in a light dusting of gray-black pubes draw up to his groin.

  Yes. We’re almost there.

  I lick my lips, jonesing to taste the steady stream of pre-cum that bathes my hand, as Rob’s head shoots back in a broken war cry.

  “No,” I bark. “You don’t give me that cum ’til I say you can.”

  “Ronan,” he growls in ultimate frustration, lungs starving for oxygen.

  “Not. Yet.”

  To assert that I’m in charge, I increase my tempo, fists flying over his cock in a blur. Jesus, I wanna ride that big thing again. But I can’t—won’t. I already got mine, more than once. This isn’t about me. This is about him.

  “Not much longer. You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” I praise.

  Damn, this is a workout.

  My arms start to burn from exertion, but I power through. No pain no gain. It’s all worth it just to watch him glisten like a Greek God underneath the spotlight. I knew it was the best choice for tonight’s scene.

  Rob’s abs clench, the muscles in his thighs bulging. He pinches those nipples harder like he can’t stop even if he tried.

  “Ronan,” he grits, riding the dildo in short bursts.

  “Not yet.”

  “Fuck!”

  “Say it.”

  “Fuck!”

  I jack his crown, thumbs paying extra special attention to his frenulum between strokes.

  All the air heaves from his lungs, and I know it’s now or never.

  Rob’s eyes latch onto mine, vulnerable and powerless, glistening in limbo.

  “I love you,” he groans, bottom lip trembling.

  My heart explodes in a bomb of pink, dick-shaped glitter.

  Smiling so brightly my cheeks hurt, I dip my head in silent permission, and Rob doesn’t hesitate to release everything. Nostrils flaring wide, spine arching, head thrown back, cum rockets out of his shaft in thick bursts of white as disjointed moans pour freely from his soul.

  Yes. That’s it. Absolute perfection.

  I tug him a few more times, to wring the last of his orgasm out, before Rob sags forward, going half boneless.

  I prop his damp forehead on my shoulder, and caress his back, not caring that my hands are coated in jizz and lube. That’s what showers are for. “You did great.”

  He presses an open-mouthed kiss to my collarbone. “I’m… damn.”

  “I know. And thank you.”

  “Babe, don’t thank me for sayin’ that.”

  “You know I have to.” Only because I realize how difficult it is for him to admit. I’m the only person in his life, aside from his son, who’s heard those words spoken aloud. That in itself is a miracle. When it first happened years ago, I cried. It touched me beyond words, as it always does each and every time he declares it. It awakens something in me that solidifies our bond, tethering us. It reminds me why my soul chose him in the first place. Before Rob, I never believed in true love and all that fairytale mumbo jumbo. Since, I’ve become a believer in lots of things I never put much thought to in the first place.

  “No, you don’t. I should be able to say those words other times too, not only when I’m about to nut.”

  “You’ll get there.”

  “I do, though, ya know.”

  “Love me?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I know you do.” I press my own kiss to the side of his sweaty head and let it linger there for a handful of heartbeats.

  “Even if I can’t say it most of the time. It’s always there,” he whispers to my neck.

  “I believe you.”

  “Do ya think Tyler does?”

  “Know that you love me, or him?”

  “Both… maybe… fuck… I dunno.”

  “It’s okay to love him, Big Man.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “However you choose to love someone is your business, not mine. I’m not going to judge you for how you feel no matter what. You know this.”

  “I know, babe. I know. Now let’s go lie down. My poor hole needs a break.”

  Severing our embrace, both of us still on our knees, Rob kisses my forehead before he dismounts the dildo.

  “Dammn,” he groans, climbing to his feet.

  Staying on the floor to get a better look, I tap the side of his hip as he stretches every which way to unkink his muscles. “Show me.”

  Knowing exactly what I’m referring to, Rob turns around and spreads his insanely hot glutes to give me an up-close-and-personal view of his hole. And what a magnificent view it is. The rim’s red and puffy, slick with lube. What’s even sexier is the dilation. Drawn to that forbidden place like a moth to a flame, I trace my fingertip around the crinkly edge.

  “Babe,” Rob moans all whiskey and gravel.

  “Just a minute. I need to see it.”

  “You’re doin’ more than that,” he croaks.

  If I could see his face, I’d bet good money he’s blushing.

  “I wanna taste it, too.” And I do. So very bad. He might’ve gotten his rocks off, but I’m still hungry for more. What can I say? I’m insatiable when it comes to my men.

  “Mistress. I… fuck.”

  “Are you saying I can’t?”

  Rob’s thick fingers imbed deeper in his cheeks, on the verge of bruising skin. I think someone’s struggling a little with what I want to do to him. It’s not often he lets me lick him there. Out of courtesy I always ask first, since I know how delicate this situation is.

  “I… didn’t…sa-say that.”

  Greenlight.

  My mouth waters.

  Rising up onto my knees, I rest my hands over Rob’s that are doing such a nice job keeping him wide for me. Then, I swipe the flat of my tongue across that puffy ring and moan like it’s the best thing I’ve tasted in years. Strawberries and man…Mmmmm.

  “You’re delicious.”

  A slight tremble and cute fumble of words are his response.

  Powerless to curb the aching need any longer, I return a hand to my pussy and go to town on it. In and out I pound myself as I eat that nicely prepped hole. Even the inside is nice and slick against my tongue, ready to be devoured thanks to his handy prep work before our session. God, I know most people don’t get off on eating ass, but when you have such a fine specimen to ravish it’s impossible not to salivate over. So I don’t even try.