“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Gabe muttered, pressing his lips to her temple.

  “I’m thinking.”

  “About what?”

  “Everything.”

  “Are you upset about me going to New York?” he asked.

  “No, I’m happy for you.”

  “Really?” he said, the scratchy quality of his voice indicating he was falling back asleep.

  “Really,” she repeated. Then she squeezed her eyes closed and prayed with all her heart that her rare bird would indeed take off and soar once again.

  * * *

  “I HEARD GABE’S IN New York,” Patti said when she called Hannah the following Wednesday.

  Hannah put down the picture she’d been framing and sank into the chair behind her desk. “You heard right.”

  “Kenny told Russ he’s on NFL Countdown.”

  Hannah and Kenny had watched Gabe on television last Sunday and knew ESPN had to be thrilled with him. He was a perfect commentator: intelligent, articulate, even funny.

  “When has Kenny talked to Russ?” Hannah asked. “We couldn’t even reach him last Friday after we went to the doctor’s.”

  “He was upset. But he brought Kenny a sandwich for lunch on Monday, and apologized for his behavior.”

  “Good for him,” Hannah said. Kenny hadn’t mentioned it. Kenny had been too preoccupied with Tiffany. If he wasn’t calling her, she was calling him. They talked on the phone for hours.

  “Russ isn’t nearly as bad a guy as you like to believe,” Patti said.

  Hannah swiveled in her chair to check her reflection in the chrome lamp. She wanted to see if the bruise on her cheek was completely gone. The lamp didn’t make the best mirror, but she couldn’t see anything. “And he’s not nearly as good as you like to believe,” she replied.

  There was a momentary silence. Patti still wasn’t accustomed to Hannah’s new directness. “So you’re going to try and hang on to Gabe?”

  “No.” Hannah scratched Lazarus, who’d gotten up from where he’d been dozing in the corner and ambled over. “Gabe’s gone, and I don’t expect him to come back, at least for any length of time.”

  “Does he call you?”

  “Occasionally.” He’d called her twice, but they hadn’t talked long. She’d assured him that Lazarus was okay, that Kenny liked Coach Smith, that Blaine had resigned the moment he heard that several of the boys had come forward. She told him she was happy and busy, that Russ hadn’t been causing her any problems. In fact, she and her ex were back on polite terms. The only thing she didn’t say was that she felt hollow inside without Gabe, and that she’d recorded his show and watched it again and again late at night after the boys were asleep.

  “And you’re still in love with him?” Patti said.

  “It’s not something I can turn on and off, Patti.”

  Her ex-sister-in-law sighed. “Well, I hope you’ll continue to be willing to attend family events and stuff, for the boys’ sake. I don’t think it’ll help them to have you refuse to go to this or that function just because Russ will be there.”

  “I’ve never done that before. I don’t plan on starting now,” Hannah said.

  “Well, Jamie’s doing it to Donny. It makes it really hard to plan anything, you know?”

  “What are you planning?”

  “Dad’s birthday is coming up.”

  Hannah glanced at her calendar. She hadn’t written it down. For the first time in twenty years, she would have forgotten Pug’s birthday. “When’s the party?”

  “Sunday. Can you come?”

  “Sure. Where is it?”

  “My place. One o’clock.”

  “What would you like me to bring?”

  “Dad loves that bowtie pasta you used to always make.”

  “I’ll bring it,” Hannah said. “Anything else?”

  “That should be enough. We’ll have a big barbecue and watch the 49er game. They’re playing the Raiders.”

  Almost everyone in Russ’s family was a 49er fan. “Your dad will like that.”

  “I think so.”

  “See you soon.”

  Hannah continued to pet Lazarus after she hung up. Generally the dog spent his time with Brent, but Brent was at school.

  “What do you think Gabe’s doing right now?” she asked.

  The dog whined and shifted his eyebrows, and Hannah laughed.

  “He’s probably having a great time, being treated like a star by big executives…Meeting women…” The laughter now gone, she took a deep breath and glanced around her office. “But we’re having fun here, right? Just look at all this stimulating work. And now we have Pug’s birthday to look forward to.”

  Lazarus obviously didn’t give a damn about the birthday party. And, if she was being honest, Hannah would admit that she, too, was less than enthusiastic.

  “How exciting,” she said flatly and went back to work.

  * * *

  ON FRIDAY NIGHT, Gabe sat in an exclusive black-tie restaurant with Phil Hunt, his wife, Tonya, Phil’s boss Harvey Fischer and Harvey’s date, Gigi—who looked about half Harvey’s age and wore what seemed like twice her weight in diamonds. There was a third woman present, who was supposedly a friend of Gigi’s but had to be some kind of porn star or centerfold pinup model. With breasts the size of watermelons, it was easy to tell she’d had more than one appointment with a surgeon. Her revealing, clingy dress and the way she brushed against him at every opportunity, suggested to Gabe that she was there to go home with him, if he wanted.

  Ah, the benefits of being rich and famous, Gabe thought sarcastically. He was back, all right. Back where the money and the attention was. Back where it was possible to be unbelievably self-indulgent. If he wanted to, he could go on a sex and drug binge that would last indefinitely—but he wasn’t interested in drugs or even in sex, at least with Barbie, if that was her real name. Looking at her, Gabe guessed “Barbie” was part of the package, like the implants, bleached hair and collagen-enhanced lips….

  “How do you like New York, Gabe?” Phil’s wife asked.

  Gabe set his wine on the table. “I’ve always liked it here,” he said. He loved the pulse of the city, the art, the people, the buildings. But only to visit. He couldn’t imagine living here indefinitely. There wasn’t any room to breathe. No pine trees. No place for Lazarus.

  Another voice in his head added, “No Hannah,” but he quickly silenced it.

  “I’ve always been a big fan of yours,” Phil’s wife went on, obviously hoping to engage him in a longer conversation. “I’m glad you could join us tonight.”

  “I’m happy to be here,” he replied, but the happy part was a considerable stretch. He’d only let Phil talk him into dinner this evening because he’d been looking for a distraction. He hadn’t wanted to languish in the company penthouse and twiddle his thumbs while the Spartans were playing. He’d already twiddled his thumbs enough this week, thinking about Lucky, Reenie, his father, Kenny, Brent, the team and, most of all, Hannah.

  “This has to be the best restaurant in New York,” Phil said.

  “I know it’s one of the most expensive,” Harvey added proudly.

  Harvey liked to point out all the great things the station was doing for Gabe. ESPN was pushing hard, trying to get Gabe to sign a one-year contract. But Gabe insisted they give him a few weeks. He wanted to see if he could adjust, which was why he hadn’t let himself return home yet. If he flew home after every show, his heart would remain in Dundee.

  Ignoring the crack about the expense of the restaurant, Gabe glanced down at his watch. The Spartans were playing the Rams this week. It’d be halftime by now. He wondered if—

  “Gee, are you in some sort of hurry, Gabe?” Barbie asked, her voice slightly pouty.

  Gabe shifted to the left so the waiter could set a bowl of lobster bisque in front of him. “No, why?”

  “The way you keep checking your watch, I thought maybe you had another date lined up.”

  He should’ve gone home for the game, he decided. He should’ve gone home to Hannah….

  But he hadn’t given New York a fair shot. What was wrong with him? Hosting NFL Sunday Countdown was a dream come true for a has-been football player who could no longer walk. Now that he knew he’d never play again, what better career could there be?

  He remembered holding Brent in his lap, feeling like a father. He remembered sitting on the sidelines long after the Spartan’s win last Friday, so proud of Kenny and the rest of the team he could cry. He remembered losing himself in Hannah—

  “You feeling okay?” Phil asked, picking up on Barbie’s question.

  “Fine,” he said.

  Phil handed around a basket of rolls. “New York’s a rat race. You’re probably a little tired.”

  “Bedtime will come soon enough,” Barbie said with a suggestive smile.

  Harvey leered meaningfully at his jewel-ridden girlfriend, who twirled her bracelet, then turned back to Gabe. “So, how did you like doing the show last week?”

  “I enjoyed it,” Gabe said. That much, at least, was true. He liked talking about football. It made the sting of being unable to play worse, but he was beginning to grow accustomed to the changes in his life.

  “I have to tell you, our ratings last Sunday went through the roof,” Phil said. “And you’re the reason. You could go far with us, Gabe. Very far.”

  “You have a way of making it all so interesting,” Tonya said.

  “I bet you had more female viewers than male,” Barbie piped up.

  Gabe thought of Hannah again. “Thank you,” he said.

  “We’d like to sign you up for two years instead of one,” Harvey said. “How do you like that?”

  Gabe wasn’t sure. He’d left Dundee and the accident behind, as he wanted to do. Maybe he should make the commitment and stick it out, force the issue. But something was missing.

  “I’ll consider it,” he said.

  Harvey frowned, obviously not pleased with his response, and sent a reproachful glance at Phil that said, “I thought you had this guy.” “When can we expect an answer?” he asked.

  Gabe set his spoon in his empty bowl. “When do you need one?”

  “In a week,” Harvey replied. “We’ve got to have something secure by then or my ass is on the line. There’re a lot of guys who’d kill to be in your position, you know.”

  Gabe raised an eyebrow at the statement, and an awkward silence fell over the table as everyone realized what Harvey had just said. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

  “If a week’s too soon, you could have a little longer,” Harvey said, backing off, probably because of the unyielding tone of Gabe’s voice.

  Gabe gave him a polite nod. “Thank you, Harvey. In any case, you’ll have my answer soon.”

  * * *

  HANNAH HEARD the telephone ring and rolled over, fumbling for the handset on her nightstand. “Hello?” she said, still half-asleep.

  “Hannah?”

  It was Gabe. Sitting up, she blinked quickly and felt her heart start to pound. “Are you home?” she asked hopefully.

  “No. I’m still in New York. I just got back from dinner. Sorry to wake you. It’s late here, but with the time change, I didn’t think you’d be in bed.”

  Hannah checked the clock. If she had even half a social life, she wouldn’t be in bed. It was only ten-thirty. “Kenny’s spending the night with Tuck, or I’d be waiting up for him.”

  “Did we win the game tonight?”

  “No, but it was close. Twenty-four to twenty-one.”

  “Kenny still okay with the new coach?”

  “He says he likes you better but, fortunately, he’s been pretty preoccupied with other things.”

  “Like a certain cheerleader?”

  “You got it.”

  “They’re still calling each other?”

  “All the time.”

  “Do you like her?”

  Hannah ran a hand through her disheveled hair. “She seems sweet. I’m just not ready for Kenny to start into this phase of puberty.”

  “Did you tell him what I said?”

  “That you didn’t have sex with anyone until college? No, I decided to keep that information to myself, thanks,” she said on a laugh.

  He laughed with her. “That isn’t the part I thought might be helpful. What I wanted to convey is that I’m glad I waited, that there’s no rush.”

  Hannah hugged herself, feeling the soft cotton of Gabe’s T-shirt against her body. Since he’d left, she’d given up stuffing it under her pillow and begun to sleep in it. “It’s a subject we’ll have to cover, but they just started talking this week. I’m going to give it some more time, see what happens.”

  “Maybe Russ can have a father-to-son talk with him, explain about physical urges and why it’s important to be smart about when to give in to those urges, that kind of stuff.”

  Hannah stifled a yawn. “Are you kidding? Russ would probably ask Kenny if he’s gotten down her pants yet.”

  Another deep laugh made Hannah smile. “How’s New York?” she asked.

  “It’s fine, but…”

  “What?”

  “I miss you,” he said.

  Hannah caught her breath. This was the first time he’d ever said anything that indicated she was special to him. “You’re probably just homesick,” she said, keeping her tone light. She didn’t want him to think she misunderstood, believed he meant anything serious by it.

  “I miss Lazarus, too.”

  “At least you mentioned me before your dog.”

  Another chuckle. “That’s not just any dog.”

  “I know. Brent’s taking good care of him. They’re inseparable.”

  “Actually, I miss the cabin, too,” he admitted.

  “It’s a nice place.”

  “But mostly I miss touching you, tasting you, feeling your naked body pressed against mine as I make love to you.”

  Heat began to curl through Hannah’s blood like smoke. “If this is phone sex, I can see why people like it.”

  “It gets a lot better,” he said.

  “Maybe, but I have to admit, when it comes to you, I prefer it up close and personal.”

  “Is Brent asleep?”

  “Out like a light.”

  “And I’m not there. Damn. Definitely my loss.”

  “There’s a key under the mat. You could always come home,” she said, but immediately regretted the suggestion. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t cling to him, wouldn’t drag him down. “Just kidding,” she quickly corrected. “I know you’re right where you need to be. You did an awesome job last week, and you’ll do just as good this week.”

  “They want an answer,” he said.

  “What kind of answer?”

  “Whether or not I’ll sign a two-year contract to do the show.”

  Drawing an unsteady breath, Hannah squeezed her eyes closed. “A contract is probably a good thing, right? It’s job stability.” And it wouldn’t allow Gabe to backslide. He’d be so busy, he’d probably be a whole new person by the time those two years were up.

  “Is that what you think?” he asked.

  “Of course. You should do it. Definitely.”

  “Definitely,” he repeated.

  She didn’t add anything, mostly because she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat.

  “Will you be watching on Sunday?” he asked after a moment of silence.

  “Of course. I’ve already memorized everything you said from last week. It’s time for a new tape.”

  Another laugh. “There’s something about you, Hannah Price.”

  “I know. I like your furniture, remember? And I’m in love with you. No surprises there.”

  “You’re also good in bed,” he added.

  “Really?”

  “The best.”

  “I’ll have to remember that,” she said, smiling.

  “Just leave that key under your mat,” he said. “I’m coming home sometime.”

  With that, he hung up, and Hannah went to sleep dreaming that it would be tonight.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  HANNAH DIDN’T WANT TO go to her ex-father-in-law’s birthday. Her relationship with Patti was strained by Patti’s disapproval of her involvement with Gabe, and Hannah’s resentment of that disapproval. And it would be awkward with the rest of the family. For one, Hannah had no idea how Russ might treat her. He’d taken Kenny out to lunch yesterday, ostensibly to apologize for neglecting him the night of the game. In reality, he’d proceeded to bash Hannah for breaking up their family and for just about everything else that had gone wrong in his life. Kenny had repeated a bunch of stuff Russ had said about her and Gabe, mostly things that should never have been said, especially to their sixteen-year-old son. Did you know your mother is sleeping with Coach Holbrook?

  She hated Russ now more than ever. But she loved her boys, and she wanted them to be able to go to their grandpa’s birthday without having to worry about the adults in their lives. Which meant she needed to endure the party.

  She’d stay an hour, two at most, then leave, she decided. Patti or Russ could drop the boys off later, if they wanted to stay longer.

  “Wow, you look great, Mom.”

  Hannah smiled as Kenny walked into the kitchen. “Thanks.”

  “What’s the occasion?”

  “No occasion.” Hannah had been craving something new so badly she’d finally gone shopping. She’d found an attractive teal-colored sweater on sale for forty dollars, and the weather was just cool enough to wear it. Since the truth had come out, Sly’s mother had sheepishly backed off the request that Hannah pay for Sly’s stitches, so Hannah didn’t feel too badly about spending the money on herself.

  “Dad’s going to be hating life when he sees you in that,” Kenny said.

  Hannah laughed. She thought, “Russ deserves to be hating life,” but said nothing.

  The front door slammed shut behind Brent and Lazarus, who finally came running into the kitchen. She’d already called them twice. “Are we going to the party now?” he asked.