I laughed every time she brought it up, because I’d already met that person. He just didn’t feel the same.

  And now? I don’t know what the fuck to think. Is it possible to have that connection with two people? Because Mel has set my skin on fire. The pull I feel to her makes sitting here instead of hopping on a plane and heading home immediately almost unbearable.

  “You understand nothing if you think I wouldn’t be there right now if I could be. Hell, I probably would have been a no-show for the game if Dec hadn’t practically kicked me out of the house.”

  She laughs, the sound a little lighter than her mood so far. “He can be a bit abrasive, huh?”

  By the teasing tone, I have a feeling he’s beside her. “He’s all right,” I admit.

  “He certainly is.” Her tone is full of genuine affection.

  My stomach twists in response, though I don’t think it’s jealousy. It’s an emotion I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced. If I had to name it, I guess I’d call it longing. The two of them are together while I’m here. More than anything, I want to be sitting in that room with them. Not just her, but them.

  I’m not sure what that even means.

  “I’m just happy he was there to protect you,” I admit.

  “Yeah, it was lucky that he decided to come to the game after all.”

  And that’s when it hits me. I’m not sure how I didn’t realize sooner. Maybe because I’d been so worried about Mel, but I never even questioned why Declan was there.

  I asked him to come.

  Invited him into my bed.

  Is it possible he actually considered it? That he got into his car and drove to Boston with the intention of spending the night with Mel and me?

  No. That’s ridiculous. He’s just a control freak, and he knew Mel was in danger. He didn’t want to let her out of his sight. And thank fuck for that.

  Rather than dwelling on the confusing thoughts racing through me, I say, “So tell me about your day.”

  Somehow these phone calls are going to have to get me through to Friday. I should be used to it. I’ve survived on nothing but bits and pieces of the person I care about most for the last twenty years.

  Track 6

  THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS

  CHAPTER 17

  Declan

  It’s official. I need to leave town. Or work all weekend. Anything but spend another minute with my best friend’s fake-slash-real girlfriend. I don’t know what Melina is to Cade, but they speak every night, and he’s texted her incessantly all week. Obviously, she’s more than just a hookup to him.

  And despite how hard I’ve fought it, she’s more than just a houseguest to me.

  I watch her sleeping form, chest aching. Fuck, I’m going to miss this tomorrow.

  All week, she’s asked me to lie beside her while she falls asleep. Inevitably, I nod off too, and in the morning, she’s always curled around me.

  “Shit, I fell asleep,” I mutter every time, like I didn’t mean to, only to do it again the next night.

  It’s sick how addicted I am to having her close. To her smell. To the soft sounds she makes while she sleeps.

  I’m fucked.

  I want to savor the last few minutes in bed with her, but I’m not doing either of us any favors by not getting up. And I’m definitely not doing right by Cade, so I extricate myself from her hold, gently slipping her soft hands from my chest. But I can’t let go that easy. For a moment, I hold them, study them. Would it be so bad if I just kissed her fingers?

  My stomach twists painfully. Yes, Declan. It would be fucking bad. And asking yourself this shows just how totally fucked you are.

  Even so, I can’t stop myself. I pull her hand closer and brush my lips over her knuckles. Her eyelids flutter in response, so I release her. The last thing I want is for her to catch me mauling it.

  Without another second of hesitation, I jump out of bed and head straight for the kitchen. Coffee. Go make coffee. And breakfast. Give yourself something to focus on. Anything but the beautiful woman lying in the other room who has made it clear that she wants me to kiss her as badly as I want to kiss her.

  It’s a craving.

  A sick craving.

  As if my best friend can sense my fucked-up thoughts, he chooses this moment to text me.

  Cade: Headed to practice. Any suggestions on a nice place in Bristol we can take Mel tomorrow night? I’ll make a reservation.

  We? Why the fuck would I come with them to dinner?

  With a grunt, I put the phone on the counter.

  A nice restaurant? There are a couple in town, but fancy doesn’t suit Melina. She enjoys burgers at Thames, like me. Or a donut from Jules’ while we sit in the corner so she can watch the people coming and going and make up stories about their lives.

  Yesterday she concocted an entire backstory for an older woman who was sitting by herself on the opposite side of the shop. Melina decided that she’d moved here from Ireland as a young girl. That she’d come with absolutely nothing and met the love of her life in Boston. The two of them had worked hard for years, scraping together every penny they could, and eventually bought a little cottage on the water here. The two of them, along with their children, spent their summers here, and once the kids were grown and gone, she and her husband retired and moved to Bristol permanently. She has a whole brood of grandkids who visit, and now even her great grandkids spend their summers on the beach here.

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the woman she created this rags-to-middle-class story about was none other than Mrs. Milsom, Jules’s grandmother and the wealthiest woman in town. Her family has owned the majority of this town for generations. There was no trip to Ellis Island or working in a factory in Boston, and there are definitely no great grandkids. Not yet, at least.

  The only time the woman smiled that day was when Jules delivered a donut and a cup of tea to her table. She has a soft spot for her granddaughter, even though she’s always been horrible to Jules’s twin sister, Hailey.

  Rather than burst Melina’s bubble, I sat and listened, and when we bundled up and headed toward the door, she smiled at the old crone. Thank fuck the woman’s lips lifted a fraction. If they hadn’t, I’d have told her where she could stick her donut.

  Cade: Never mind. Daniel gave me the name of a place. I’ll make a reservation for the three of us.

  Clenching my fist, I drop my head and give it a shake. No, I’ll work the whole weekend. It’s safer. Smarter.

  I’m so in my head that I don’t notice that Melina has appeared until she wraps her arms around my waist and presses her cheek against my back. I’m so taken aback by the move that I don’t pull away.

  “You’re up early,” she says with a gentle squeeze.

  I shouldn’t wrap my arm behind me and hold her there, but I do. And with one hand on her to hold her steady, I turn and take in the woman who is slowly unraveling me. “Was just texting with Cade.”

  She smiles up at me without even an ounce of guilt or apprehension over the way she’s touching me while talking about him. “You were texting with Cade, or Cade was texting you, and you were grunting at your phone?”

  I will my face to remain impassive, but her teasing smile and the general joy she finds in my grumpiness make it hard not to smirk. With my hands laced behind her back, I heave out a breath. “He answered his own question before I could come up with a response.”

  Snorting, she pulls away. I’m not ready to let her go.

  “Because you were really going to reply.”

  “I’ve replied to him all week,” I argue, pulling two mugs from the cabinet.

  She takes one and fills it, then doctors her coffee so it’s just how she likes it—extra sweet. “What did he have to say this morning?”

  “Just mentioned making plans for the weekend with you.”

  Smiling, she cups her mug with both hands. “That’s thoughtful. So what are we doing?”

  I turn away from her affection, tamping down on the effect her words have on me. “He wants to take you out to dinner. I’ll be working all weekend, so you’ll have the house to yourselves.”

  “Declan—” Her voice comes out soft, full of pity.

  Irrational anger bubbles under my skin. There’s no need to feel sorry for me. I’ve watched plenty of people fall in love over the years. My sister. The guys at the station. This is nothing different. I knew Cade would eventually meet someone.

  Just never thought I’d have feelings for the woman too.

  “I have to head to the station,” I say without turning around. “Want me to drop you at Lake’s on my way?”

  She doesn’t respond, and the silence bleeds for so long that I don’t have a choice but to turn around and look at her.

  She assesses me with those green eyes of hers, then shakes her head. “No. She’s picking me up. We’re getting our nails done.”

  I nod. That’s good. Less time alone with Melina is good.

  Then why do I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut?

  CHAPTER 18

  Melina

  You just have to lean into it.

  It don’t have to mean nothing.

  You’re a fighting machine.

  Oh my god. Could this get any worse? Lean. Mean. A fighting machine. Those are the best lyrics I can come up with?

  It’s about time I told Ford that I’m not going to make any of my deadlines this year or next. Hell, I should probably tell him to scrap the album. My music is gone.

  I storm toward the door, desperate for fresh air.

  In the past, when I’ve had difficulty with a song, I’ve taken to running. Sure, it’s winter in New England—in other words, frigid—but something has got to give.

  My emotions this week have been all over the place. Even so, I’m comfortable in Declan’s house. Content in this town. I take a left out the door and follow the path toward the water. The same path Cade and I used to get here that first night.

  It’s odd thinking about it now. How comfortable I was with Cade. How naïve too. I thought he would be nothing more than a fling. Maybe that will still turn out to be true, but it doesn’t feel that way. Cade is like a glorious sunrise, warming me from the outside in.

  And then there’s Declan.

  I let out a sigh.

  If Cade is the sun, Declan is like a sky full of stars. Hard to capture, sometimes hidden, but god, when they’re visible on a clear night, they bring light to even the darkest of canvases. He’s everywhere in this town. Everywhere I look.

  Sky full of stars.

  Midnight moments.

  You and me…we’ll never⁠—

  An animal bursts from the woods and onto the running path, charging right for me.

  “Oh shit!” I shriek.

  My heart pounds so wildly as the damn deer darts into the woods on the other side of the path and disappears into the bare trees. “Come on, Bambi. I had a song forming,” I whine. I pull my phone out of the side pocket of my leggings, hoping I can remember the lyrics and type them out. But I come up blank. Was it about the constellations? Or the stars? Shootings stars? Hmm, I could work with that.

  Frustrated, I stare up at the gray sky. There is no sun today. Fitting, since Cade isn’t here.

  With that thought, I dial the man who warms me even in frigid weather.

  “Hey, Trouble,” he says, picking up after just one ring.

  I bite my lip, tempering my smile. Just his voice makes me giddy. “I was almost roadkill.”

  “What?” He makes a choking sound. “Are you okay? Did someone almost hit you? Is Dec there?” The sheer panic in his tone has me feeling a bit guilty, even as I practically float down the path toward the water, unable to wipe the smile off my face.

  “I’m fine, babe. It was a deer.”

  “Babe?”

  I hum, trying to play off what I just called him.

  “Nuh-uh,” he says. “You aren’t getting off easy on that one, Trouble.”

  “Fitz.”

  “Fine. Are you okay, or did Bambi take you out?” He chuckles as he says it, but I don’t even care.

  I don’t want to get into a conversation about calling him babe. Not that I think he’s averse to it. Because it definitely sounded like he liked it.

  “I’m fine. He just scared me, is all. Now I’m heading toward the fire station.”

  “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

  I roll my eyes, still irritated by the grumpy man who’s doing his best to avoid talk of this weekend. “Because Declan is ignoring my texts. Claims he has to work all weekend, but I’m not buying it.”

  “I’m sorry about that. Dec is—” Cade huffs a breath, like he’s not sure how to explain his best friend’s behavior. I don’t need him to explain Declan to me, though. I understand why he’s hiding from me. Hell, I should probably let him. We’ve grown incredibly close this week, sharing the same bed, spending far too many hours just sharing one another’s company.

  But I’m sleeping with his best friend. And I really like Cade.

  God, none of it makes sense.

  “Dec feels like the third wheel,” he finally says.

  “Who’s to say that’s a bad thing? Semis need more than two wheels,” I counter.

  Cade chuckles. “Never said it was. Truckers are hot.”

  We both laugh, though it dies out quickly. The three of us would be hot. Cade knows it, I know it, and I think if Declan were honest with himself, with us, he’d agree.

  “I’ll talk to him,” Cade murmurs. That simple sentence alone, the knowledge of what he wants to say, has chills running across my skin.

  “No need. I’m going to convince him to join us for dinner.”

  Cade’s laughter is low. “Okay, trouble. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

  “You too, babe.”

  His laughter rings out as I tap the End button, a grin splitting my face.

  When the phone rings only seconds later, I assume it’s him again and answer quickly. “Miss me already?”

  The smile is wiped clear off my face when I hear the voice on the other end of the line.

  CHAPTER 19

  Declan

  Cade: Mel says you have to work all weekend?

  Cade: You don’t have to disappear because of me. It’s your house.

  Cade: It’s fucking annoying how you never reply.

  Cade: Mel is coming to the station. She’s going to ask you to go to dinner with her, and you’re going to say yes. Be a dick to me, I don’t care, but if you’re a dick to her, we’re going to have a problem.

  With a groan, I pocket my phone and pop open the compartments on this side of the rig. We spent the afternoon dealing with a fire in another abandoned warehouse. We couldn’t get close enough to put it out, so though it was controlled, it took all fucking day. The rig is a mess, and we’re all worn the fuck out.

  Every fire wears on a department, but here in Bristol, most of us suffer from some degree of PTSD after losing Chief Reilly, which makes it more of a challenge, naturally. Out of all of us, I’m probably the one who was hit the hardest by his death. Not only was he one of my best friends, but he was also my mentor. And to a lot of these guys, he was family.

  All I want to do is sit next to Melina and listen to her chatter on about her day or tell me made-up stories about strangers. I want the soft cadence of her voice in my ear, her warm body pressed against mine, her smiles and laughter. Fuck, I just want her.

  But I can’t have her, and Cade needs to stop pushing her in my direction.

  “Chief, we got this. Go home and rest,” Shawn says.

  I shake my head. “Dane should go home to the twins. I can help.”

  “The twins are with their mom this week,” Dane says from the open roll-up door of the bay. “Besides, looks like you’ve got company.” He thumbs over his shoulder.

  Chest tightening, I step closer and peer up at the second floor. Sure enough, Melina is pacing along the floor-to-ceiling windows outside my office.

  “Fuck,” I mutter, scrubbing a hand over my face.

  Shawn gives me a concerned frown. “What’s going on?”

  I keep my shit to myself, and even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t open up to the guys who work for me. I’m the one they come to when they need help. Though I normally tell them to get out of my office and take their girl talk elsewhere. But fuck, they’re all good with the feelings and shit. Between their book club and all their talk about relationships while we eat dinner, they’re practically experts. And I listen. It’s virtually impossible to tune them out when Colby is as loud as he is. At least Mason is usually around to tell him to shut the hell up when my head starts pounding.

  “Cade is coming for the weekend.”

  Shawn presses his lips together and nods, like he gets the issue.

  With a long breath out, I lean against the building.

  The whole crew is standing around, watching me.

  Crossing my arms, I give them the glare they’ve probably come to expect. “Don’t you have a job to do?”

  Dane laughs and pulls on Colby’s shoulder. “Help me grab the hose.”

  Mason’s already disappeared. He never sticks around to gab. Now it’s just Shawn and me.

  I can’t help but peer up at her again. She’s stopped pacing. Now she’s standing at the glass, watching me. When our eyes meet, the words tumble from my mouth. “She’s his. I know that. But I can’t help but feel like she should be mine.”

  Her brows furrow in concentration, like she’s trying to read my lips.

  “What about Cade?” Shawn asks, drawing my focus.

  “What about him?”

  He pins me with a knowing look.

  I glare right back at him.

  “Did you read this week’s book?”

  Fucking A. I’m trying to open up to the guy about my feelings, and he wants to talk about his romance book club? “Forget it,” I say, striding toward the stairway.