I expected anger from him, yet I never got it. And while I knew Millie and Daniel would be affected and may have questions or concerns, I had no idea she’d take it this hard. If I had, would I have made different choices? Would I have chosen to miss out on experiencing Lake the way I did?

  No. My daughter means the world to me, but eventually, she’ll learn that none of us are perfect. We love who we love.

  Not that I’ll ever get to say that to the woman who owns my heart.

  Maybe that’s the issue. Millie and I have yet to speak about Lake. Does she believe what she’s read? If so, then she probably thinks I’m nothing but a scumbag who had an affair with my son’s ex. But since my daughter was born, I’ve been her biggest supporter, her person—maybe more than even her twin. We’ve always been exceptionally close. She should know I wouldn’t have done what I did if Lake didn’t mean something to me. She should know that’s not who I am.

  We wander through the empty corridor and down the tunnel that leads to the ice. The team isn’t playing today, and Daniel knows that. I’m sure he follows their schedule much like anyone who has an obsession.

  It took being consumed by my own obsession to realize precisely what I needed to do. I reminded Lake over and over that she was in control of her life, but I’d kept my son on a tight leash, tethering him to my expectations rather than allowing him the opportunity to make his own choices.

  We find Gavin standing by the ice, his head bowed and his thumbs moving furiously over the screen of his phone. He shakes his head and lets out a loud laugh that echoes through the empty rink.

  “Let me guess,” I say, approaching. “Your brother?”

  Gavin turns his big smile on us. “I swear the Langfield brother group chats could get us all fired.”

  Daniel stands beside me, frowning and looking from Gavin to me and back again. He hasn’t asked about why I invited him to meet me here, but now he’s clearly curious.

  Gavin pockets his phone and lifts one brow in silent question. With a nod, I take a step back. This isn’t my moment. Daniel deserves to hear this straight from the person who’s about to offer everything he’s spent his life working for.

  With a hand outstretched, Gavin greets my son. “We’re having one hell of a season, don’t you think?”

  Daniel shakes his hand and glances at me again, his brow furrowed in confusion. But there, mixed in with his puzzlement, is a hint of hope and maybe a little disbelief. “The team looks great, sir.”

  “I’ve got to be honest, though. I think we’re missing something.” Gavin puts his hands in his pockets and turns toward the ice. As if on cue, the team exits the locker room, their loud voices and chatter filling the empty rink.

  Brooks Langfield, the star goalie, oversized in both height and personality, approaches first. He points at Gavin and shakes his head. “Mom is going to lose her shit.”

  Gavin simply lifts a brow and shrugs.

  Aiden’s next, the center who’s sure to be a hall-of-famer if his stats continue their upward trajectory. “Forget Mom. Beckett is going to string him up by the balls.”

  Tyler Warren—War to his teammates and fans—the right winger and well-known instigator, laughs as he steps onto the ice. “Epic, man. Totally fucking epic!”

  “What the fuck are you all going on about?” Rowan Parker, the defenseman, asks as he skates in circles nearby.

  Gavin sports a cocky grin, affecting the cool demeanor of a younger brother who’s definitely involved in something that’ll piss off his older one. “ESPN asked if they could have the event here. All I did was tell them that Beckett would prefer to host them at the stadium.”

  Aiden lets out a high-pitched squeal. “And then you didn’t tell him it was for the swimsuit edition. Guy is livid.”

  “All right, enough gossiping,” the coach says as he wanders over. “You get them all worked up, and then tonight they’ll be like fucking teenage girls hopped up on candy.”

  Beside me, Daniel’s mouth is ajar and his eyes are full of stars. He’s surrounded by all of his idols, and every last one of them is joking around.

  “Speaking of players,” Gavin says, hollering over the chatter around us. “I’d like to introduce you all to Daniel Hall.”

  My son’s swallow is audible as every head turns in his direction.

  “We were wondering if you’d like to suit up with the guys and skate a bit,” Gavin offers nonchalantly.

  With all eyes on him, Daniel blinks at me. “Is this for real?” he mutters.

  “It’s your decision. Though I expect that you’ll finish that degree.”

  He’s nodding before I can get the final word out. Then the coach is draping an arm over his shoulder and ushering him toward the locker room. I watch on as my son starts on a journey that he’s waited his whole life for, feeling nothing but pride and excitement for him.

  Gavin steps up beside me and nudges my shoulder. “What made you change your mind?”

  “Just realized that he deserved the choice. It’s not mine to make for him.”

  With a hum, he rocks on his heels. “Kind of like allowing a woman to decide whether she wants to be with you? To come to her own decision about what makes her happy, rather than taking it upon yourself to decide that she deserves better?” His focus remains fixed on his players, who are now in full-on practice mode, but his question hits like a dagger straight to my heart anyway.

  “It’s not the same.”

  “Why?” This time he does turn to me, his gaze boring into my face.

  I’m too chickenshit to look him in the eye when I reply. “Because she does deserve better. As do my kids.”

  Gavin snorts. “Paul is having a grand ole time in Bali, so that’s bullshit.”

  Gritting my teeth, I finally turn to my jackass friend, but he goes on before I can argue.

  “And you just gave Daniel everything he’s ever wanted. So is this about Millie, or is this about you being afraid to ask Lake if you’re enough?”

  “Millie will never accept us.”

  Clasping my shoulder, he gives it a good squeeze. “I say this with all the respect in the world, man, but your daughter is a spoiled brat if she can’t see past the image the media portrays. She knows you, and she knows your heart. She’ll figure it out.” He purses his lips and gives me a once-over before he goes on. “You’ve given her everything she’s ever wanted. Maybe now it’s time to take a little bit for yourself. In a few years, when Mills meets someone, do you really think she’s going to take your feelings into consideration?”

  All of it makes my chest tight. Fuck. I let out a long sigh in hopes of relieving the discomfort. The idea of my baby girl giving herself to anyone makes me a bit sick, to be honest. But Gavin’s not exactly wrong. She’s not even talking to me now. When I leave here, I’ll go home to an empty house again. And though she’s surrounded by people, Lake is all alone too.

  And just the thought of anyone else laying a hand on her instantly sparks a rage so fierce inside me it’s almost uncontrollable. She asked if I’d ever been in love. The kind people write songs about, and I lied through my teeth.

  I told her every guy she’d ever dated was an idiot, but I’m the biggest one of all. I pull out my phone and do some math before turning to my friend again. “You’ll let Daniel know I had to go?”

  The smirk on Gavin’s face is all ego. “Depends on where you’re going.”

  I’m already moving before I reply. “Going to bring a girl some ice cream.”

  18

  LAKE

  LOVER

  Ford: Get home safe?

  Lake: Yup. Thank you for showing me around your town and introducing me to your friends. They are all wonderful and I really enjoyed myself.

  Ford: Don’t thank me. You gave me the best week of my life, Red. If you take one thing from our week together, please let it be that. You’re in charge. You call the shots. Demand what you want and take it. You’ve fucking earned it.

  Lake: It was the best week of my life, too.

  Lake: Thanks for the flowers. They’re beautiful.

  Ford: Amanda said the show was incredible. Keep kicking ass.

  Lake: I got my hair cut today.

  Ford: Yeah?

  Lake: I didn’t have the nerve to chop it all off.

  Ford: Gorgeous as always, Red. And you had the balls to do what you wanted. That’s all I meant that night. You’re in control.

  Lake: Doesn’t feel like it. Feels like the only things I want are the things I can’t have.

  Ford: You can have it all. Just have to ask for it.

  Lake: Have you spoken to your kids?

  Ford: Daniel and I are meeting at the rink tomorrow. No word from Millie or Paul.

  I scroll through our messages while I wait for the show to start. Messages. That’s all I have left of him. Even the marks he left on my body have all disappeared. I cried when I woke up to discover the last bruise had faded.

  “Almost ready?” Amanda asks, her smile big.

  To protect my vocal cords, I don’t speak before shows, so I give her a nod and haul myself to my feet. It takes everything in me to pull my shoulders back and smile like I’m excited for tonight.

  The crowd’s energy is such a welcome blessing. It worms its way into me, breathing life into my lungs and into my soul. And despite my previously melancholy mood, I walk offstage at the end of the night feeling like I’ve gone through a full spectrum of emotions. Singing about heartbreak and love so soon after experiencing both is new for me. It’s excruciating at times, but working through it all this week has made me a better musician. It’s one more thing Ford gave me. It’s not all bruises and messages after all. My career will be better for the time I spent with him.

  So much for swearing no man can take credit for my career.

  I toss my head back and laugh at myself as I make my way to my dressing room. It’s the first time I’ve truly felt light in a week. God, I hope the sensation remains after tonight. Refusing to sulk for another minute, I decide I’ll find Amanda and see if she wants to come with me to the nearest, loudest bar and grab a drink. I don’t want to talk, but at least I won’t be alone.

  When I walk into my dressing room, though, my heart stops. She’s here, but she’s got company. Devastatingly handsome and yet a bit disheveled, Ford Hall standing in front of me takes my breath away. I blink twice to make sure I’m not hallucinating as a labyrinth of emotions fight to break free.

  As soon as he spots me, the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from him splits his face. Then he’s moving toward me, his gaze focused, his movements steady.

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Amanda says, disappearing from the room.

  Two feet in front of me, Ford pauses and curls his hands into fists at his sides, like he can’t keep them still. “You were incredible tonight.”

  “You were watching?” I whisper.

  Dipping his chin, he gives me a subtle nod. “I—uh—brought ice cream.” He holds out a hand, palm up, gesturing to the table in front of the small couch. Two crystal sundae bowls filled with chocolate ice cream, a mountain of whipped cream, and chocolate shavings sit side by side.

  I blink at the display, baffled. What is he doing here? And why are there lit candles on either side of the sundaes? “Ice cream?”

  “Frozen hot chocolate. You still haven’t had it, right? Fuck.” He roughs a hand over his chin. “Tell me I’m not too late.”

  “Too late?” I’m like a parrot, mimicking his every word. Sweat trickles down my neck as I gape at him. Without looking away, I lift my hair and fan myself. “Is it hot in here?”

  The devastating smile I missed so much spreads across Ford’s face, and his stormy eyes pool inky black as he holds his arm out in front of him. “Here, put your hair up.”

  My heart stutters at the sight of a fucking scrunchie on his wrist. The hot pink elastic pops against his tan skin and white dress shirt. Is this man kidding me right now?

  When I don’t make a move to take it—I’m too busy melting into a puddle—he lets out a frustrated breath, circles me, and grasps the makeshift ponytail I’m holding on to. He brushes my hand away and ties the strands into a loose ponytail, cooling me instantly. Just as quickly, though, my body heats again. This time it’s from his proximity. Ford presses his thick frame against my back and holds himself there, towering over me. Rather than dominating, his presence is comforting. He sucks in a deep breath, and then his lips brush against my neck in a featherlight touch. “Please have ice cream with me, Red.”

  I take in the setup, practically floating. “Why did you bring ice cream?”

  “Because Serendipity is your favorite movie, and you deserve the treat.”

  I smile as I peer back at him over my shoulder. “It’s from Serendipity?”

  Ford nods. “Flew it here myself. I took it out of the freezer a few minutes ago. I would have waited if I realized you’d have so many questions. It’s probably melting.” He chuckles, though the sound is equal parts humor and uncertainty. He’s nervous, and it’s absolutely adorable on a man who is used to being so sure of himself in everything he does.

  I slide my hand in his and step forward, leading him to the couch. Before I can sit, I notice the television on the opposite wall. It’s on, and it’s paused on the opening credits of my favorite movie.

  “Dammit,” I mutter, my eyes welling with tears. I have to release my hold on him to swipe away the evidence of my insanity.

  Ford doesn’t allow it, though. He snatches my hand before I can bat at the tears. Then he shuffles closer and presses his palms to either side of my neck, his thumbs holding me in place, eyes filled with concern as he dips closer. “What’s wrong?”

  I huff out a deep breath. “I can’t even fling right.”

  His brows crease in confusion. “Huh?”

  I roll my eyes, but it’s not at this sweet man. He’s been everything he promised he’d be. “I did it again. Fell for someone unavailable. God damnit,” I growl, trying to step back. If I don’t put some distance between myself and this perfect date that Ford set up, then I’ll ask him to stay and put his babies inside me. What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I always fall for unavailable men?

  Ford’s lips tip up in the hint of a smile. “You falling for me, Red?”

  I wave my hand and scoff, but it only makes him smile bigger.

  “Obviously not,” I mutter. “It’s just, no one ever goes out of their way for me, and here you are, flying ice cream in from a place featured in my favorite movie.” I narrow my eyes on him and poke him in the chest. “Who does that?”

  The laugh he barks out is loud and free and filled with joy. “Let me get this straight. You’re mad at me because I brought you ice cream? Because I did something thoughtful?”

  “Fuming, actually.” I back away and pace across the room. “You told me this was a fling. We agreed it would be over when I went back on tour. But then you go and do the swooniest fucking things. Ford,” I say, the single word a plea, “this is husband level shit. You don’t do stuff like this for flings.” Hand on my hip, I stare him down. “You actually aren’t very good at flinging either.”

  He eats up the space between us until we’re practically touching. “I never said it was a fling.”

  “Yes you—” I snap my mouth shut and rack my brain for the memory. Didn’t he use that term? Fling?

  “No.” He cups my cheeks, forcing me to hear his every word. “You told me to let go if I didn’t want you to kiss me.”

  I nod as I’m taken back to that moment only two weeks ago. To New Year’s Eve. The night everything was set in motion.

  “I didn’t let go then, and I sure as fuck am not letting go now.”

  My heart clenches so tightly I have to press a palm to my chest to ease the ache. “What are you saying?”

  “If I thought we’d be nothing more than a fling, Lake, then I would have let go. I wouldn’t have let us burn our reputations to the ground for something so small. I’d have given a fuck.”

  “So this isn’t a fling?” I whisper, clutching at his shirt, holding on for dear life.

  He caresses my cheeks with his thumbs and hovers closer. “No, baby, this isn’t a fling.”

  Anticipation coils low in my belly, and a shy smile peeks through. “So you like me?”

  Ford’s relieved smile is devastating. “I’m fucking gone for you, Red.”

  Trembles overtake me as he presses his lips to mine. As our tongues tangle, he drinks up my moans like the most satisfying glass of whiskey, savoring each gasp and whimper.

  “Fuck, I missed you.”

  There’s no air left in my lungs. Dizzy and speechless, I claw at his thick hair, desperate for more. With a groan, he pulls back and smiles at me. “Ice cream, baby. My girl deserves her first date.”

  “We’re really going to date?”

  Grasping my hand, Ford leads me to the couch, then he pulls me onto his lap. “I’m going to date the fuck out of you.”

  I laugh as I push against his chest, but he holds me in place. Giving up the fight, I settle in and relax in his arms. I’m struck by the love I see in his eyes. Slate blue heated with a mix of affection and desire. God, he’s beautiful.

  “I’m in love with you, Lake Paige. With all of you. The girl who’s always so goddamn polite, and the girl who takes what she wants. The musician, the naughty girl hidden behind that sugary façade. The sweetheart who loves big and feels too much. I can’t think of a goddamn thing I don’t love about you. And I can’t fucking live without you.”

  Tears flood my eyes as I press my lips to his. “I love you too, Ford Hall.”