CHAPTER

  THIRTY-NINE

  Tyler

  “Hey man,” Liam walks into the weight room and I can tell he’s tense, I can see the set jaw and furrowed brows, even though he is doing all he can to remain calm.

  “Who did it?” I ask, grabbing the hand weights and starting to curl with my previously wounded arm. I push the limits, I know, but I can’t baby it, I’m ready to prove I’m one hundred percent.

  “Can you put the weights down?” I glance back up at him and hold his stare. “I need to tell you something and the last thing I want is for you to drop it on your foot or worse throw it through the wall.”

  Lowering the weight to the floor I stand, already feeling my pulse racing.

  “You need to come with me,” he steps aside, and I don’t move. “Ty, please, believe me when I say that I need you to follow me.” I give him a wary look. “So, I can take you to the hospital.”

  My knees immediately feel weak. I can stand here and ask twenty questions and yes they are all racing through my mind, but instead my feet start to move. Before I can even register my movements I am in Liam’s truck, and we are driving toward the hospital.

  My chest grows tighter and tighter as I try to remember to breathe.

  “What happened?”

  “She got upset and passed out at her parents’ house. Her mom rushed her to the emergency room.”

  “What do you mean she got upset?”

  Liam works his jaw, and I recognize it as him fighting his anger. What the hell did he have to get angry about.

  “Liam?” I push, turning my body in the cab of the truck and stare at him. “What did she get upset about?”

  “I’m not sure that we need to worry about that part right now.”

  “Oh I think we do need to be worrying about this, right fucking now!”

  Liam takes a deep breath, then glances over at me saying the only word I need to understand exactly what’s taken place. “Farrah.”

  The idea that my past once again is affecting Amara only pisses me off.

  “Apparently she got into it with Tucker and demanded to know what his problem is with you. He tried to shut it down, but she wouldn’t let it go.”

  “Let me guess, Tucker told her that some bitch tried telling everyone in Calloway that I got her pregnant.”

  “No, he told her that she wasn’t the first person you knocked up.”

  Liam parks his truck and I immediately climb out, walking straight for the entrance. Pissed didn’t even begin to describe what I was feeling.

  “Tyler,” Liam jogs after me, “beating the snot out of my idiot cousin won’t make any of this any better. Aunt Cindy already laid into him pretty well and I’m sure Uncle Robert had his say too.”

  I could hear Liam but none of his words penetrated the haze I felt.

  The automatic doors slide open, and I continue to walk, immediately scanning over the waiting area. When my eyes lock on the asshole that caused this, I start toward him. My heart racing, the blood pumping making it sound like my heart is beating in my ears.

  I don’t even think through my actions.

  Grabbing Tucker by the shirt I start walking him backwards and I can feel someone pulling at my arm, but it doesn’t faze me. “You are her fucking brother, and because of that I won’t put you through that fucking window.” Tucker doesn’t even attempt to fight me as I hold him by the collar. “This shit you think you know, it’s a fucking lie, it was from day one. If I had a kid, don’t you think I’d be a part of its life? I’m not an asshole, and I’m not a deadbeat. She was never pregnant; it was a game she played with me and about five other guys. The difference between me and them is I demanded proof that she couldn’t give me, because it was a fucking lie!”

  “I know,” Tucker says, sounding defeated. “I didn’t but I do now.”

  “You have a question about me, you think you have me all figured out and you want to tell me how I’m not good enough, you come to me. Come to me! You don’t take that shit to Mar.”

  “I know.”

  “She deserves more.” He says. I shove him, finally releasing my hold on him and find Amara’s dad and Liam flanking me, both breathing heavy, wide eyed and worried. “You don’t think I already know she’s too damn good for me? Jesus Tucker I know that, I tell myself that every goddamn day. But then I get up and I start a new day doing everything I can do to be worthy of Amara. That will never change. I’m not going anywhere and it's time you accept that shit.”

  I know I’ve put on a show, but damn I can’t control it. That is the woman I love, and that is my child, for them I’ll do anything to ensure they’re okay, anything.

  Turning around I pace the hallway, knowing I need to see Mar, but also realizing I need to calm myself first.

  Fear, mixed with anger is a dangerous combination and I’m having a hard time reeling it all in.

  “Tyler,” I turn around to find Cynthia, Amara’s mom standing near the doors that lead back to the rooms.

  “Are they okay?”

  “She’s hooked up to monitors, but yes they are good.” Relief fills me, allowing me to breathe freely for the first time since Liam told me to put down the weights.

  “Can I see her?” I need to see for myself. When she nods, I follow behind her leaving behind the frustration of her idiot brother.

  “I’ll wait out there,” she points back toward the waiting area. “She’s right in that room.” Motioning toward the door a few feet away, Cindy places her hand on my arm, and offers me a reassuring squeeze.

  I watch her walk away and when she turns the corner I stand outside the room I know Amara is inside of, worried about what I’ll find. Did she know? Was she still upset?

  One more calming breath, and I push open the door and Amara turns her head, her eyes red rimmed and saddened. “I’m sorry,” she says immediately, and I hurry toward her.

  “What are you sorry for?”

  Her lower lip trembles and I sit on the side of the bed, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips. “Shh, baby, don’t cry.”

  “It all happened so fast. Tucker got mad, said I wasn’t the first person you got pregnant, and I don’t know why it didn’t all click. I mean I know what that girl Farrah claimed. I was there when it all started, but I was surprised Tucker said it, and I didn’t think, then I don’t know what happened, but I woke up to him carrying me to the car and then I was here. It was all stupid.”

  “It's okay,” all I care about is that she stays calm.

  “I’ve never seen my mom so mad,” Mar confesses. “I used to think that Lauren was your biggest fan, but I’m starting to think it's a tie between her and my mom.”

  I know she is trying to be funny but all I can focus on is the machines and the band wrapped around her stomach.

  “I’m fine,” Mar reaches out and places her hand on mine. “The baby is fine.”

  I nod, but can’t form any words. My emotions are all over the place. “Ty,” Mar says my name and I look at her. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  Until then it hadn’t hit me that that was at the root of every single action I’ve taken since leaving the station. Yes, I was mad, and anxious, but the fear I felt was crippling. What I could lose if something happened to Amara, or our baby is overwhelming. Quickly she became everything to me and this baby, he or she is our world. My family is lying in this bed and all I want is to take them both and wrap them in a protective bubble, shielding them from all harm.

  My heart literally aches, a sharp pain straight through me.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers again and immediately I move in and press my lips to hers. Holding our kiss I just need to feel her.

  “Never in my life have I ever loved someone the way I love you. It scares the hell out of me Mar, I feel like I can barely breathe.” Pressing my forehead to hers we simply stay like that, me holding her face in my hands and her, gripping my shirt at my chest.

  CHAPTER

  FORTY

  Amara

  “We’re keeping it a secret, right?” Tyler said, sitting on the couch next to me. “That means we tell no one, not a single person. Not Claire, or the twins, I won’t tell Liam or Fitz, it's ours, mine and yours and no one else’s.”

  “Are you asking me or are you reminding yourself.” I laugh holding the newest sonogram picture in my hands.

  “Both,” Tyler chuckles. “I’ll admit not telling everyone that we’re having a little man is going to be tough. I’m ready to drive the firetruck through the center of town shouting it from the intercom.”

  “I like the idea of you walking out of the delivery room telling everyone you have a son.” I can almost picture the smile on Tyler’s face as he tells all our friends and family.

  “Me too,” his grin stretches wide as he slides in closer and looks at the image I hold. “A son,” he whispers, “the guys took a poll at the station, and I know they're all going to be pressuring me to see who won.”

  “We said no one,” I remind him, turning just enough to see his face. “Ours, this is just for us.”

  “Just for us,” he repeats and then cups my face, pressing a kiss to my lips. “It’ll kill me, but I won’t tell a soul.” The happiness dancing in his eyes is an incredible sight.

  He places his hand on my stomach, which he’s been doing a lot more lately. When we’re watching television, lying in bed, driving, I know it’s because I am starting to show. It could be that he is waiting to feel the baby move. I’ve felt the flutters, and the sensations of movements randomly throughout the last several weeks, but he’s yet to feel it for himself.

  I want it so badly for him, I see the yearning in his expression as he holds still, like he is concentrating and silently wishing for just one little thump makes me feel slightly guilty that I can feel it.

  Leaning a little closer he kisses my stomach and whispers something so lightly I can’t hear, before looking up at me and smiling.

  “Keeping secrets already?” Shrugging, he ignores my question and lays his head onto my lap. Immediately my hands go to his hair, and his eyes close. This is the man I love, the one that seems content with the simplest gestures. I was terrified from the start that this wouldn’t be enough for Tyler.

  But every day he surprises me more, and every day I fall a little deeper in love with the bachelor turned family man. My man.

  Charlie and Audrey are both currently getting pedicures and Lorelei sits in my chair, laughing as she shares a story about a coworker. She is on the verge of tears from laughing so hard.

  I know she can go anywhere for a trim and a little touch up, but she comes to my shop. I know it’s more for the girl talk and gossip, but I love it. What normally would take less than an hour takes more like two because we spend most of it talking and catching up.

  She’s deep in conversation and I don’t notice anyone else has entered until I see her glance toward the door and the smile on her face drops.

  Tucker stands just inside, and I feel my stomach do a crazy nervous flip.

  We haven’t talked since the day at my parents when he refused to let Tyler and I just be happy.

  I love my brother, truly I do, but just because I love him doesn’t mean that I have to like him right now. I’m angry, and most of all I’m sad. We’ve never not gotten along and it's hard for me to have any kind of rift between me and my siblings. They are my people; they are those I want my child and any that follow to rely on fully without hesitation.

  “Can we talk?” I bite my lip, trying my best to hide the way it starts to tremble.

  He doesn’t get my tears.

  “Mar, please.”

  “I can wait,” Lorelei insists.

  “No,” I don’t look back at him. “If what he has to say is so important then he can wait.”

  Maybe it's childish, but I don’t care. I need some time to slow my racing heart. Knowing he’s here, knowing that he’s probably going to tell me another list of reasons why I shouldn’t be with Tyler doesn't make me want to rush to his side.

  He can stew.

  I start talking to Lorelei again, but I see her look toward my brother a time or two as if she has no idea what is happening. The rest of her appointment isn’t like the first half, and doesn’t end up being the distraction I need.

  When we are done and she stands, trying to hand me money I wave her away.

  “Amara—,”

  “No, you stopping in is all the payment you’ll offer. I enjoy seeing you and I feel like we don’t all see enough of each other. We have to plan a ‘girls’ night; I miss you all. It’s here and then home every day.”

  “Yes, but Tyler is at home,” she wags her brows and then remembers we aren’t alone, but I don’t let it faze me.

  “Yes, unless he’s on shift at the station and then it’s too quiet. He calls though and checks on me often. It’s really sweet actually.”

  “He’s different,” Lorelei agrees with a smile. “I may not be around him as much as the guys, but anyone who knows the guy he was a year ago, can see that he’s changed. He’s happy, you’re happy.”

  The girls and I finally say our goodbyes with plans to get together soon, and the minute they all step out of the door, I busy myself with gathering towels and going into the back.

  With my back to the door, I know when Tucker has joined me from the clearing of his throat.

  “You plan on ignoring me all afternoon? I’m off work, so I got nowhere else to be."

  “Don’t you think that’s sad,” I spin around to face him, crossing my arms over my chest. “So many empty relationships, and so many burned bridges. Yet you’ve been spending weeks questioning my judgment, so focused on the wrongs I’ve committed, and here you are.”

  “You have the right to be mad at me.”

  “You’re damned right I do,” I take a step toward him. “You’re supposed to be on my side, not fighting against me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I go to yell at him once again but stop when I realize he’s apologized. Tucker is never wrong, or so he seems to think. “Don’t you think I feel like an ass for saying that at mom and dads? Amara, I sent you to the hospital because I thought I was better than Tyler. But the truth is I am worse than he could ever be or had been. I’ll never forgive myself for making you as upset as I did. You don’t deserve the shit I’ve been giving you and neither does Tyler. He didn’t do a thing to me, but I’ve been running around holding a grudge I don’t have any right to hold.”

  “Why is that Tucker? Why target Tyler?”

  “Because it was easier than admitting that I’m a twenty-one-year-old ass still living with his parents. I’ve never once in my life had a meaningful relationship outside of the direct members of my family and I’ve spent my adolescent years in a constant competition of how many women I can juggle at once.”

  I stare at my brother.

  “All because the one person I want or have ever wanted is married to my best friend and pregnant with their first child.”

  “Victoria?” My heart aches for my brother. I always thought there was something about the way he watched her, but she and Logan have been a thing since middle school.

  “It is what it is,” he shrugs. “But regardless it doesn’t give me the right to be a dick to you or Tyler and I’m sorry.”

  A few seconds pass before he takes a step closer.

  “I’ve got a niece or nephew that I’d like to be able to get to know when the time comes. I figure in order to do so; I’ll have to get along with their dad too.”

  “That would be nice.”

  Tucker chuckles, before wrapping me in for a hug.

  “I love you sis,” he says.

  “Love you too, even though you’re an ass at times.”

  “I know,” he gives me another squeeze. “I’m working on it.”

  CHAPTER

  FORTY-ONE

  Amara

  Four Weeks before the due date

  “You do understand how much easier this would be, if we knew what the gender of the baby is going to be?” Charlie looks over at me and I quickly look away. I’m weak, I’ll bust, I’m surprised I’ve held out this long.

  When I peek up at her she narrows her eyes and then looks over at Tyler. “Is the secret reveal your idea?”

  Ty chuckles looking all confident and strong. On the inside I know he is as close to breaking as I am. It's become this crazy competition between the two of us, seeing who can outlast the other. I’ve adopted avoidance, if I avoid the topic, or if I’m alone with any of them for too long, I seek out a distraction. But today, it's excruciating. I just want to shout, it's a boy! We are having a boy!

  Not Tyler though, he is acting as cool as a cucumber, with his knowing smirk, hiding behind a beer he’s nursing.

  “You would find humor in our torture,” Charlie tosses at him and he looks over at me, offering a wink.

  That one single gesture, still to this day makes my heart feel like it skips a beat. Seeing him in this scenario, a newfound relaxed state that seems like an entirely different side of him I didn’t know existed. It still baffles me that he’s settled and content.

  I continue to open the gifts, realizing that deciding to have a co-ed shower is perfect. Everyone I love gathered in one place.

  Leah and Lauren, both fit in and even Tucker has wiped the scowl he normally wears and replaced it with a smile. Things between us have still been strange, but getting better every day.

  My heart breaks for him, the love he feels and has felt for someone he can never have must be torture. I wish more than anything some wonderful woman would blow through town and knock him flat on his ass. Make him forget all about what he feels for his best friend's girl. I want that for Tuck, I want him to be happy. I want him to feel the things I’ve felt and feel every day for Tyler.

  Once the shower is over and everyone is gone, Tyler and I sit on the couch and look around the living room.