She felt completely out of things and standing up excused herself before leaving the room. Perhaps if she went for a walk she would feel better. She pulled on her boots and put on her thick coat that hung in the hall before wrapping her long scarf twice around her neck. The air was still icy, but she noticed the snow was melting on the roads and it would soon be possible for Piers to leave. Oh God, she didn’t want him to go! Christmas would be spoilt if he left now.

  She sloshed through the snow down to the river, watching the two brave ducks that were swimming in the icy water regardless. They looked as if they were enjoying themselves at any rate, Leigh thought moodily.

  ‘They’re having a good time, anyway.’

  Leigh spun round to see Piers standing just behind her. ‘And aren’t you?’ she asked needlessly. How could he enjoy himself when she was acting so badly? ‘I thought you liked my family.’

  ‘I do, very much in fact. I just wish you would act a little bit more as if you didn’t mind my being here.’ He sighed deeply as he came to stand beside her in the snow. ‘It’s started to melt now, so I’ll probably be leaving later today—the sooner the better as far as you’re concerned, I should say. Perhaps once I’ve left you’ll be able to start enjoying your Christmas.’

  ‘But why go at all? Mum and Dad said you’re welcome to stay, and they like you so much. Besides, you have nowhere else to go.’

  ‘Is that the reason you had them invite me?’ he demanded harshly, grasping her upper arms. ‘Do you honestly imagine I had no plans for this holiday? God, you’re an innocent!’ He pushed her away from him. ‘I had—invited someone to spend today with me. I asked Mrs Nichols yesterday to put that—person off.’

  ‘It was a woman,’ Leigh said with finality.

  ‘Of course it was a woman! But I preferred to stay with you.’

  ‘Am I supposed to be flattered by that remark?’ Her eyes flashed. ‘There was no preference about it! You had to stay here last night.’

  ‘Don’t you think I could have driven home if I’d wanted to! Don’t be stupid, Leigh. The roads had mainly been cleared and I could quite easily have driven home.’

  ‘Then why didn’t you?’ She turned away from him, walking in the opposite direction to the one they had been facing and away from her home. She couldn’t return just yet.

  Piers grasped her arm roughly and swung her round. ‘I didn’t because at the time it seemed like a good idea to stay here. Now I wish to God I had left last night. You’re impossible, do you know that! Anyway, that doesn’t matter now. I just thought you ought to know I shall be leaving later today. I’ll try not to make it too late, but I don’t want to offend your parents, they’ve been very kind.’

  Leigh watched in dismay as he marched off towards her home, lengthening the distance between them with each long stride he took. ‘Piers,’ she called huskily, his name seeming to stick in her throat. ‘Piers,’ she said louder. ‘Please wait. Please!’ He stopped but didn’t turn around, leaving it to her to go to him. She gently touched his arm. ‘Please don’t leave, Piers. I want you to stay.’

  He shook his dark head. ‘I don’t think so. We’d only have a repeat of this morning, with you sulking and making me feel like an interloper. You’re a child, Leigh! And I don’t want a child, I want a woman. Someone I can hold in my arms who isn’t ashamed to be a woman.’

  ‘But I’m not, Piers!’

  ‘Not what? A child? Or ashamed to be a woman? I’m afraid you’re both of those things. You can’t even tell if a man’s response is to you personally or just to a beautiful woman. God, I’ve been accused of some things in my time, but you take the prize! When I want a woman just to satisfy some physical need then I make sure that woman knows the score. What happened with you was something completely unexpected. Oh, I’ll admit I was attracted to you, but it was an attraction I could control. I never intended for anything to happen between us last night, but then nothing did. Hell, the way you’ve been acting anyone would think I’d raped you or something.’

  ‘Was?’ Leigh latched on to that one word, it seemed to be pounding in her brain again and again. ‘Was attracted? Aren’t you any more?’

  Piers glowered down at her, no warmth for her in his face. ‘Now you’re being childish again. I can’t turn these feelings on and off at random—’

  ‘Then—’

  ‘But,’ he continued, heedless of her interruption, ‘I can certainly get out of here. Away from your childish imaginings. And to think that the first time I met you I thought you were promiscuous like the rest of Gavin’s friends!’

  ‘Is that why you continued to see me? Because you thought I might be an easy lay?’

  Piers’ face paled with anger and he shook her furiously. ‘Don’t talk like that! An easy lay—God, what a foul expression!’ he shook his head. ‘No, I didn’t think that at all. I thought—well, never mind what I thought. It isn’t important now. I trust you will at least be polite until I leave. Your parents have been very kind and I wouldn’t like them to be subjected to any unpleasantness on our part.’

  Tears coursed down her cheeks unheeded by both of them. She couldn’t let him go like this. She loved him! Loved him until nothing else mattered! If he wanted her to be a woman then that was what she would be. Unhesitantly she stood on tiptoe, twining her arms about his neck and lifting her lips until they touched Piers’. She felt his instant withdrawal, but she only increased the pressure of her mouth, even when he pulled at her arms to make her let go. At last she felt him yield, and instead of her doing the kissing he was now the master.

  His mouth explored the moist softness of hers until Leigh felt as if her legs would no longer support her. Her coat had become unbuttoned and Piers had his hands against the warmth of her skin, but he made no attempt to touch her in a more intimate way. He broke the kiss only to bury his face in the thickness of her hair, hugging her against his hard length until she felt she would snap in half.

  ‘Why did you do that?’ he groaned.

  ‘Because I wanted to,’ she said simply. ‘I wanted to show you that I can be a—a woman. I like you to—to touch me,’ she admitted candidly.

  ‘Well, that’s an improvement,’ Piers grinned down at her. ‘How did it feel? Being a woman, I mean.’

  ‘Wonderful,’ she smiled tremulously. ‘Can I do it again?’

  ‘You don’t do anything by half measures, do you?’ He kissed her gently on the mouth. ‘And no, you can’t do it again.’

  ‘Why not?’ Leigh asked innocently.

  ‘Because I said not.’ He put her away from him, and picking up a handful of the slushy snow threw it at her.

  Leigh gasped her surprise. ‘Why, you—you—’

  ‘Ah, ah, naughty, naughty!’ He picked up another handful of snow and repeated the process. Leigh did likewise and soon the two of them were wet from head to toe. Piers hugged her to him, both their faces flushed and glowing. ‘You’re beautiful!’ He squeezed her tightly against him.

  They walked back to the house in companionable silence, Piers’ arm draped across her shoulders and her own around his waist. ‘Piers,’ she said softly.

  ‘Mmm?’ he nibbled her ear distractingly.

  ‘You know you saw Sir Charles the other day,’ Leigh squirmed with pleasure. ‘Well, what did you go to see him for? I mean, you don’t look ill. Do you mind my asking?’

  ‘No, I don’t mind. The reason I went to see Charles was because a couple of years ago I had an accident,’ he felt her shudder. ‘I had quite a few when I was racing, but this was a pretty bad one, and I injured my back. It’s okay now, but every so often I have to have a check-up.’

  Leigh recalled Karen telling her about this accident, something to do with another man’s wife, if she remembered correctly. Oh well, that was in Piers’ past and nothing to do with her. ‘As long as you’re all right now.’

  ‘Concern? For me? Leigh, you’re really letting your guard slip.’

  ‘Will you—will you kiss me once more before we go in?’

  ‘Anything to please a lady,’ he teased. ‘Sorry—woman.’ He kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose. ‘Enough?’

  ‘No,’ she replied throatily, demanding and receiving a full kiss on the mouth. ‘Mmm, that was better. Shall we go in now?’

  Piers linked his arms behind her back. ‘I’d like to stay like this all day, you feel good against me,’ he shrugged his shoulders. ‘But as you say, we should go back in.’

  Leigh burrowed her head against his shoulder. ‘Will you stay now? I mean, stay all over Christmas?’

  He rested his forehead lightly on her own. ‘Mmm, but no more of this, okay? No,’ he held her at arm’s length at her movement of protest. ‘I mean it. Don’t trust me too much. Isn’t it enough that you know you can arouse me this easily, without proving it to your family as well?’

  ‘Very well, if that’s what you want.’ She hid her disappointment with difficulty. ‘I’ll stay away from you.’

  ‘Not too far away. I like to feel you close to me.’

  * * *

  ‘Thank you both for making me welcome,’ Piers smiled at her mother and father. ‘I’ve enjoyed myself very much.’

  ‘Good,’ smiled her father. ‘We hope you’ll come back again.’

  Piers glanced fleetingly at Leigh. ‘I hope so too. Are you ready to go now?’ he asked her.

  Leigh looked down at her suitcase and the box of food her mother had insisted on giving her. ‘Yes, thank you.’ She hugged her mother and father in turn before poking her head around the lounge door. ‘Goodbye, boys. See you again soon.’

  Chris and Dale stood up. ‘Are you leaving now?’ Chris asked regretfully.

  ‘Mmm. Piers has to be back at work by tomorrow. He has quite a tight schedule.’

  Dale came to stand next to her, putting a brotherly arm about her shoulders. ‘It seems strange to see you with a boy-friend, little sister. And such a boy-friend too!’

  Leigh grinned. ‘Piers doesn’t class himself as a boy-friend, he says he’s just a male friend. You do like him, don’t you?’

  ‘You bet,’ enthused Chris. ‘He’s great!’

  ‘Yes, he’s very nice,’ agreed Dale, concern in his eyes. ‘But don’t let him hurt you. He’s seen and done things we haven’t even dreamt of.’

  ‘I know, Dale, but I’m afraid it’s too late to warn me about getting hurt. Much too late.’

  ‘You love him, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, I do. But I’m afraid he must never know. He isn’t the marrying kind—at least he isn’t now. I think Gavin’s mother cured him of that,’ she added sadly.

  ‘Doesn’t it seem strange that Piers has a son the same age as you?’ asked Chris curiously.

  Leigh became thoughtful. ‘I suppose in a way it does. It means Piers had done an awful lot of living before I was even born. But otherwise it makes no difference. Piers is—Piers,’ she smiled brightly.

  ‘And he’s becoming impatient,’ drawled a voice from the now open doorway.

  Leigh blushed as she looked up. How much of the conversation had he heard? Not too much, she hoped. ‘I’m sorry, Piers. I’m ready now.’

  ‘Right. Goodbye, Dale, Chris. I’ll have to drag this sister of yours away or we’ll never get back to London,’ he grinned at the two boys as they sympathised with him, taking the case out of Leigh’s hand and putting it in the boot of his car with his own case and Leigh’s box of food.

  ‘Sorry to have to take you away so early,’ he said once they were well on their way back to London, ‘but I really do have to get down to some work tomorrow. I didn’t intend to be away so long as it is. You could have stayed on a bit longer if you had wanted to, your father said he would drive you back.’

  ‘I know,’ she said quietly. ‘But I wanted to come back with you. Anyway, I have to be at work tomorrow too. Do you mind?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ he replied shortly. ‘I was going back to London anyway. No point in going to the house.’

  Leigh lapsed into silence. Piers had been in a strange mood the last few days, never allowing himself to be alone with her. The day before, Boxing Day, he had taken her two brothers and her father out in his car. They had been gone for hours and the male members of her family had been full of the fact that they had each driven the powerful car. Leigh herself had not been invited and her mother had declined owing to the fact that she had some baking to do. At the time Leigh had been hurt by his behaviour, but thinking about it later she decided that Piers probably thought he was becoming too involved with her and her family. He wasn’t the type of man who wanted to feel trapped, and Leigh decided she mustn’t let him know her feelings regarding himself. She would lose him altogether if he knew she loved him, and she didn’t want to do that.

  Was this really the same girl who not a week ago had professed to hate this man? She couldn’t ever imagine feeling such an emotion for him, he had come to be the sole reason for her being alive.

  ‘You’re very quiet,’ he remarked in the stillness of the car.

  Leigh roused herself. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly. ‘I was deep in thought.’

  Piers turned momentarily to look at her. ‘I don’t mean just for now. You’ve been very quiet the last couple of days. Why was that?’

  She shrugged her shoulders. ‘No reason, except perhaps too much food. It makes me sleepy.’ There was no point in explaining that her own mood had been tempered by his own withdrawal.

  ‘Mm, I know what you mean. Your mother is a wonderful cook—I’ve probably put on pounds during the last three days.’. A frown marred his brow. ‘You say you have to go back to work tomorrow. Does that mean back to the hospital?’

  ‘Of course back to the hospital. Where else?’ she asked in a puzzled voice.

  ‘I can’t understand why a sensitive girl like you should choose such a profession. Do you actually enjoy it?’

  Leigh smiled. ‘I love it. If you find that strange I find it even stranger that an intelligent man like you should choose racing fast cars as a career.’

  ‘Well, thanks for the intelligent bit, but I’m not so sure I like your implication. To drive that sort of car takes skill. There’s a hell of a lot more to it than just getting in a car and driving, things like physical fitness and mental alertness. And if I hadn’t had that accident I would still be out there pitting my wits against the odds. I enjoyed every moment of it.’

  Leigh could tell he was miles away from her, back in the world of excitement and victory that had been his whole world until two years ago, and which was still his life in part. As far as she knew most of his friends still belonged to that world, involving him regardless of the fact that he no longer competed.

  ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—’ she began.

  ‘It isn’t important,’ Piers said harshly. ‘I understand that some women don’t like to be involved with people who are constantly risking their lives. Pamela didn’t like it either.’

  ‘P-Pamela?’

  ‘My wife. Gavin’s mother,’ he laughed harshly. ‘God, she was neither of those things! She was a pretty china doll who should never have been made to suffer the realities of life. Whereas you’re the opposite. You choose to force the harshness of life and death into your life every day.’

  ‘I didn’t choose to, Piers, but someone has to nurse the sick,’ she defended.

  ‘And like the little Florence Nightingale you are you just jumped at the chance. And for what? So you can tear your insides out with people’s pain and suffering!’ he ground out savagely.

  ‘You’re being deliberately cruel, Piers. Why? What have I done to upset you?’ she choked.

  ‘Nothing?’ he snapped. ‘But you haven’t answered my question. Why do you do a job like that when it can bring you nothing but unhappiness?’

  Leigh shook her head. ‘You don’t understand, Piers. You just don’t understand—or you don’t want to.’

  ‘You’re right, I don’t want to. You must be a glutton for punishment.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Leigh had no wish to continue a conversation that was obviously going to end in an argument, an argument brought about by Piers. Was he deliberately trying to argue with her? But why? She was making no claims on him. He had no need to rebuff her.

  The journey was nearly over now and Piers had been silent since their conversation about her work. She studied his granite-hard face, there was no softness for her there and she turned away, tears of hurt like huge lakes in her eyes. They were now back in London and Leigh was dreading the moment of parting.

  ‘Leigh,’ Piers said huskily.

  ‘Yes?’ she answered softly.

  ‘Come home with me.’

  ‘Wh-what did you say?’

  ‘I said come home with me.’

  ‘But—but why?’

  ‘Don’t be stupid, Leigh. You know why. Because I want you, I want you like I never wanted anyone or anything before. Does that answer your question?’

  If he had said these words with one ounce of passion Leigh might have been tempted, but the statement about wanting her had been made quite coolly, as if it didn’t really matter to him one way or the other.

  ‘Yes, it answers me, quite effectively, I should say,’ she said sadly. ‘And the answer is no. But then you already knew that, didn’t you?’

  ‘I guess so. Okay, you’re home.’ He turned in his seat to look at her.

  ‘Thank you.’ She followed him out of the car, taking her case and the food out of his hands.

  ‘Do you want me to help you carry that stuff in?’ he asked politely.

  ‘No, thanks. I don’t want to keep you, I’m sure you must have other things to do, people to see,’ she replied stiffly.

  ‘Okay.’ He bent his head and gently touched her lips with his own, not denying her words. ‘Look after yourself, little girl. And stay away from big bad wolves.’

  ‘Like you?’

  ‘Like me.’ He touched her gently on the cheek. ‘Goodbye, Leigh.’

  ‘Goodbye.’ It sounded so final somehow, as if she would never see him again. But then perhaps she wouldn’t. She had thought there was something wrong. Piers hadn’t asked to see her again! Oh God! What would she do now?