‘Yes,’ Velvet agreed hollowly.

  She knew nothing of any letter from Jerard! Not that she was likely to remember it, but surely it should still have been with her personal papers? She felt sure she would never have destroyed such a letter. So where could it be? Simon had known about the existence of Jerard, so maybe he would know about the letter too.

  ‘All right?’ Jerard kissed her lightly on the lips when she and his mother returned from their shopping trip.

  He had taken to giving her these light undemonstrative kisses since the night she had agreed to marry him and they had made love so passionately.

  ‘We got Velvet the most beautiful dress,’ his mother told him.

  ‘Is it beautiful?’ His deep blue eyes probed Velvet’s pale face.

  She felt numb, had been this way since his mother had told her about the letter he had written to her two years ago. What had it said? Could he have made their separation sound so final that she had gone ahead and married Anthony anyway?

  ‘It’s very beautiful,’ she confirmed unenthusiastically. ‘It’s—’

  ‘You mustn’t tell him about it, Velvet,’ his mother chided. ‘It’s bad luck, you know.’

  ‘Of course,’ she gave a jerky smile. ‘Has Tony behaved himself.’

  ‘He always behaves!’ Vicki was indignant on her soon-to-be brother’s behalf.

  ‘Not always,’ Velvet smiled. ‘But I take it he has today.’

  Jerard was still frowning, his narrow-eyed gaze never leaving her face. ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ he asked her again.

  She gave him a bright smile, one that didn’t reach the shadows of her eyes. ‘Of course.’

  ‘Not having second thoughts?’

  ‘No,’ she shook her head firmly.

  ‘You look pale.’

  ‘She’s tired,’ his mother excused. ‘We all are. A month isn’t long enough to organise a wedding.’

  ‘Is that what’s wrong?’ Jerard held Velvet in front of him, demanding an answer. ‘Are you tired?’

  ‘A little,’ she nodded.

  ‘Your work is nearly finished now, isn’t it?’

  She had kept to her decision to give up modelling. ‘Nearly. Just another few days. I—Would you mind if I went home for a while? I think I’d like to lie down.’

  ‘Lie down here,’ he suggested instantly.

  ‘No! No, I—I’d rather go home. Anyway, I have to change for this evening.’ They were going out to a party; Sarah was looking after the children for the evening.

  ‘Would you rather not go?’ Jerard asked concernedly.

  ‘I’m sure I’ll be fine later.’

  ‘Leave Tony here now,’ Sarah suggested. ‘That way you can have your rest in peace.’

  Velvet looked at her son as he played contentedly with the toy telephone Jerard had bought him. He was so at home with these people now that she knew he wouldn’t mind staying here with them. Besides, it would be easier to talk to Simon without Tony’s distracting presence.

  ‘Well, if you’re sure …?’

  ‘Of course,’ Sarah nodded.

  ‘I’ll walk out to your car with you,’ Jerard offered.

  ‘There’s no need—’

  ‘There’s every need—I don’t want to kiss you in front of an audience.’ The sharpness eased in his voice. ‘Especially such a nosey one,’ he ruffled Vicki’s hair teasingly.

  ‘I like to see you kissing Velvet,’ his daughter announced happily.

  ‘Well, you aren’t going to “see” this time,’ he told her firmly.

  Velvet was very aware of his arm about her shoulders as they walked out to her car. In a week’s time they would be man and wife. The thought made her tingle all over.

  Jerard frowned, sensing her shiver. ‘You aren’t cold, are you?’

  It was blazing sunshine. ‘No,’ she gave a breathless laugh. ‘I—I was just thinking about the wedding.’

  ‘Are you sure you aren’t having second thoughts? I’d rather know now than on the day,’ he said harshly.

  ‘I’m just nervous, Jerard. All brides are nervous.’

  ‘Were you this nervous when you married Anthony Dale?’ he rasped.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she shrugged. ‘Anyway, it isn’t the same, is it?’

  ‘In what way?’ His arm tightened painfully about her shoulders.

  ‘I was younger then, probably starry-eyed—’

  ‘Probably?’ he repeated savagely. ‘Don’t you know?’

  ‘You know I don’t! How many times do I have to tell you that part of my life is a blank to me? What will it take to convince you?’ she choked.

  ‘You’ll never convince me.’ He pushed her away from him, his expression one of disgust.

  ‘If you won’t believe me, will you believe Simon?’

  ‘Your brother?’ he asked suspiciously.

  ‘Yes, my brother. He could tell you it’s the truth. Ask him! He’ll tell you exactly the same thing I have.’

  ‘It isn’t that important,’ Jerard dismissed harshly.

  ‘It is to me!’

  ‘Maybe I will ask him, one day.’

  ‘Why not now?’

  ‘I told you, it isn’t important.’

  Velvet wrenched open her car door. ‘I almost hate you at times, Jerard!’ She got into the car, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t even spare him a second glance as she accelerated away with a screech of tyres.

  It was only a short drive to her brother’s house, and consequently she hadn’t calmed down much by the time she arrived there. Simon appeared to be alone.

  ‘Where’s Janice?’ Velvet asked abruptly.

  He grinned. ‘Out shopping for something to wear to your wedding. You’re costing me a fortune, love. I—Hey, what is it?’ He suddenly noticed her blazing eyes and flushed cheeks. ‘You haven’t called it off, have you?’ he groaned.

  ‘No,’ she shook her head. ‘Where is it, Simon?’

  He frowned, completely puzzled. ‘Where is what?’

  Velvet sighed, some of the fight leaving her. ‘The letter, Simon, where is it?’

  He licked his lips, his expression suddenly guarded. ‘What letter?’

  ‘You must be terrible in court,’ she scorned. ‘I thought all lawyers were supposed to be deadpan?’

  Simon scowled. ‘Not all lawyers are confronted by a sister who’s spitting fire.’

  ‘All right, all right!’ she sighed. ‘I’m sorry. Jerard has just upset me and I’m taking it out on you. But I do want to see that letter. And don’t go all blank on me again,’ she warned. ‘You’re the only one who could possibly know where it is.’

  Simon pursed his lips, shrugging. ‘You mean the one from Jerard, don’t you?’

  Hope flared in her eyes. ‘Then you do have it?’

  ‘I have a letter I presume is from him,’ he confirmed.

  Her look was sceptical. ‘You mean you’ve never read it?’

  Simon’s face flushed with anger. ‘What do you think I am, a Peeping Tom?? That letter is personal, very personal, if your reaction to it at the time was anything to go by. Of course I haven’t read the damned thing.’

  She looked at him steadily. ‘I’d like to read it now.’

  ‘Okay,’ he shrugged, standing up. ‘I’ll go and get it.’

  When he returned several minutes later with the long white envelope and handed it to her she took out the letter with shaking fingers. Here was proof, physical proof, that she and Jerard had been in love, that they had been lovers.

  It was a long letter, and she sat down to read it, missing words in her haste and having to go back over parts of it on several occasions.

  It was all there, all the love and anguish his mother had said he had felt when he wrote it. His wife was very ill, in and out of hospital for check-ups, tests, anything to see if there were anything that could be done to cure her. There wasn’t, and Jerard was forced to go back to living with her, to caring for her, because of Vicki mainly, but also because of Tina herself. She needed him, as she had never needed him before, and he felt honour bound to fulfil that need.

  He went on to say how much he loved her, Velvet, but that if he left Tina now to take his own happiness it would destroy their love, for guilt would eat away at them both until there was nothing left of their love but bitterness.

  He was right, Velvet could see that. But had she seen it then! Or had she simply married Anthony out of pique, because she couldn’t have Jerard?

  There were tears in her eyes as she looked up at Simon, the letter read, the letter from a man passionately in love but denied coming to her. ‘Oh, Simon!’ she choked, going into his waiting arms to sob on his shoulder.

  ‘It will all work out, love,’ he soothed softly. ‘After all, you’re going to marry Jerard now.’

  Yes, she was, and she was going to make him happy if it was the last thing she ever did.

  CHAPTER NINE

  JERARD was slightly late calling for Velvet that evening. ‘I called in to see how the children were,’ he explained.

  The children! It made them sound like ‘theirs’ already.

  She pulled down her skirt as he helped her into the car, very much aware of his hard gaze on the long length of thigh that had been visible for several seconds.

  ‘And how are they?’ she asked as he got in beside her.

  ‘Tony was already in Vicki’s old cot fast asleep, and Vicki had just announced her intention of going up to keep him company,’ he said dryly.

  ‘A likely story!’ she laughed.

  She could look at Jerard with new eyes now, wished that he could once again be the man who had loved her so deeply he had told her to make a life without him because of his commitment to his sick wife. But that man seemed to be gone for ever, lost behind the harshness and disillusionment. And she had been the one to cause that! Maybe one day she would be able to convince him of her love—she certainly intended to try.

  It was a good party, rather noisy, but everyone was in good spirits. It was the first opportunity Velvet had had to meet any of Jerard’s friends. There were several covetous looks given in his direction, but one woman was particularly insistent, and finally came over to them. Jerard introduced her as Marion Walsh.

  Velvet didn’t like her on sight, didn’t like her husky way of talking, the way she laughed and joked with Jerard about things that left Velvet completely out of the conversation. Most of all she didn’t like the way the woman kept touching Jerard on the chest and arms as she talked. The truth of the matter was that she was just plain jealous!

  She had a sapphire and diamond engagement ring that said Jerard belonged to her, and yet as the evening progressed and Jerard and Marion remained talking together she began to wonder whether that ring really meant anything to him, and whether a wedding ring would mean any more.

  They finally left Marion Walsh to talk to some of Jerard’s other friends, although as far as Velvet was concerned the whole evening had been ruined, and she found it hard to relax in Jerard’s company.

  ‘You’re very quiet,’ he remarked on the drive back to her flat. Tony was spending the night with Vicki.

  ‘I’m surprised you noticed,’ she said waspishly.

  ‘I noticed,’ he said grimly. ‘What the hell is the matter with you?’

  ‘Nothing!’ she snapped.

  ‘You’ve been in this mood all evening,’ he sighed.

  ‘Not all evening,’ she corrected tautly.

  ‘No,’ he slowly agreed. ‘Just since we talked to Marion.’

  ‘We didn’t talk to Marion,’ she stared sightlessly out of the window. ‘You did,’ she added resentfully.

  Jerard raised dark eyebrows. ‘And you didn’t like it?’

  ‘No, I didn’t!’ Her eyes flashed as she turned to glare at him. ‘Is she one of them?’

  Jerard frowned. ‘One of what?’

  ‘One of those women,’ she said heatedly. ‘One of the select twenty or so.’

  ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he asked impatiently, as he stopped the car outside her flat.

  ‘I’m talking about you and Marion Walsh. Is she one of those twenty women you’ve slept with?’

  Jerard looked puzzled. ‘Marion is my secretary.’

  ‘Your—? That doesn’t mean you haven’t slept with her,’ she accused angrily. ‘In fact, it’s more likely that you have. Most men sleep with their secretaries.’

  He reached out in the darkness and shook her. ‘Will you stop that!’ he ordered furiously. ‘Marion is my secretary, she’s never been anything else to me.’

  ‘Oh yes?’ Velvet scorned.

  ‘Yes!’ He thrust her away from him. ‘But then you already knew that. Are you trying to argue with me, Velvet? Is this your way of getting out of marrying me?’

  ‘I don’t want to get out of marrying you! Why do you keep saying that?’

  ‘Maybe I can’t believe my luck.’ He ran a hand through his hair.

  ‘And maybe I can’t believe mine! I didn’t realise that I would be competing with your secretary. The way she kept touching you, right in front of me, was disgusting!’ Velvet opened the car door and swung out on to the pavement. ‘I’ll be round early in the morning to pick up Tony,’ and she slammed the door and walked hurriedly away.

  Jerard caught up with her at her flat doorway, swinging her round to face him. ‘You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.’ He took the key out of her hand and opened the door, pushing her inside. ‘Now we are going to talk this thing out,’ he told her grimly.

  Velvet switched on the lights, facing him defiantly. ‘There’s nothing to talk out.’

  ‘Oh yes, there is, damn you. Okay, so maybe Marion was being a little—enthusiastic—’

  ‘Obscene is the word,’ Velvet put in tautly.

  His mouth quirked into a smile. ‘Enthusiastic,’ he insisted lightly. ‘But she was only trying to get her own back. You put her nose out of joint, and she doesn’t like it.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ her tone was sarcastic. ‘Maybe you would prefer to call off the wedding?’

  ‘I wasn’t talking about now, Velvet,’ he sighed. ‘I’m talking about in Florida.’

  She frowned. ‘But Marion Walsh wasn’t in Florida.’

  ‘She was.’

  ‘But I didn’t see her. If she was there why didn’t you get her to take care of Vicki?’

  ‘Vicki? But—Velvet, I’m not talking about this time, I’m talking about two years ago. Marion, as my secretary, was with me that time. I’ll admit that I’d decided that trip was going to make it more than a business relationship. She knew it too, which was why she was a little put out when I met and fell in love with you. We were supposed to be there working, with perhaps a little romance as well, and she didn’t see me all week.’ He was watching her closely, his face pale. ‘You don’t remember it, do you?’ he said dazedly.

  ‘No,’ Velvet breathed huskily. ‘I—No wonder she didn’t like me just now!’ She blinked back the tears. ‘I didn’t realise we’d met before. She must have thought me very rude.’

  Jerard walked over to her as if in a trance. ‘You really don’t remember, do you?’ he said softly.

  She shook her head. ‘No.’

  His hands came up to cup either side of her face as he searched the bewilderment of her face. ‘My God,’ he choked, ‘it’s true. All that you told me, it’s true.’

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded, biting her bottom lip.

  ’God!’ He pulled her hard against him. ‘You poor child!’ he groaned, his face buried in her throat.

  ‘I’m not a child, Jerard,’ she cried her relief, holding him tightly to her. ‘I’m so glad you believe me at last!’

  ‘Oh, I believe you,’ he said deeply, putting her away from him. ‘I should have known you couldn’t lie like that. Except for denying all knowledge of me you’re still the girl I fell in love with, and I—’

  ‘I am?’ she asked eagerly.

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘But you kept saying you didn’t know me, and I thought you were ashamed of the week we’d spent together.’

  Tears glistened in her deep brown eyes. ‘You’ll never know how much I wish I could remember it.’

  ‘It was beautiful, Velvet. The most beautiful week I’ve ever spent in my life. We used to lie in bed every night watching the moonlight on the ocean—until I couldn’t stop myself making love to you any longer,’ he recalled huskily. ‘I loved to make love to you. Each time it got better, until I was sure it couldn’t be any better. But it was,’ his eyes glowed. ‘God, it was!’

  Velvet bit her lip, frowning. ‘So it was just sex with us?’

  ‘No, it wasn’t!’ he shouted furiously. ‘I said we made love, and that’s exactly what we did. Sex is what I could have had a dozen times during the last two years, but I didn’t want just a body in my bed to caress and get enjoyment from. What we had was unrepeatable, a complete joining of our minds, our souls, and lastly our bodies.’

  ‘Are you saying there’s been no one else since—since me?’

  ‘No one,’ he shook his head. ‘I’d known plenty of women before you, I’ve already told you that, but once I’d met you, loved you, there was no one else for me.’

  Velvet swallowed hard, holding her breath. ‘And—and now?’

  ‘Now?’

  ‘How do you feel now?’

  ‘I’m a bit dazed at the moment,’ he told her ruefully. ‘It seems incredible to think that the week that changed my entire life you can’t even remember.’

  ‘I can’t remember it,’ she admitted softly. ‘But my body does,’ she blushed fiery red under his searching gaze. ‘Every time you touch me I—I want you.’ She looked up at him with apprehensive eyes.

  ‘Oh, Velvet!’ He crushed her to him. ‘I wish to God you could love me.’ He shook against her.

  ‘I—I do,’ she choked, tense with the enormity of her confession.

  Jerard looked down at her disbelievingly. ‘You do?’ he probed slowly.