“But, Gracie,” Jack interrupted. “Who’s going to prepare, cook and serve all that?”

  “The Sunshine Ladies’ Group,” she announced. “This could be an all-inclusive project, Jack, with everyone who wants to playing a part. Besides.” She deliberately waited for complete silence before continuing. “With the money the ladies’ group raises from food sales, they may be able to begin a fund for pool repairs at camp. It desperately needs some work, too.”

  She fidgeted in her chair, uncomfortable now with the prolonged silence and the way everyone was staring at her. No one spoke. Maybe she should have let Jack adjourn.

  Had she gone too far?

  “I like it,” Jack said suddenly. “Big plans and big expectations. Let’s go for it.”

  Smiles, laughter—the tension dissipated as ideas poured out.

  “If we get as many entrants as Grace is talking about, we will need bathrooms.” Jeff Anderson nodded. “I’ll handle that area.”

  “Frank, you’re the insurance agent. Can you find out what we’ll need for coverage in case someone is hurt?” Jack asked. “Gracie, you’re noting all this, right?”

  She nodded and kept writing until Drew cleared his throat.

  “Since this rodeo is on the family ranch, we want to be part of it, too.” Drew looked at his brothers. “We’ll volunteer to set up an area in our Peace Meadow with lots of activities for the younger ones. Maybe we can find sitters to free the parents so they can watch their participants. It will also make the rodeo safer by keeping the little kids busy and away from the horses.”

  Sam and Zac volunteered to help.

  “What else needs doing, Gracie?” Somehow, she didn’t mind Jack calling her that now. Strange.

  She suggested more areas of concern and the brothers chose those they could handle, leaving the rest to volunteers.

  “That’s all I have noted for the moment,” she told the group when everything was checked off. “Whatever else we come up with, we’ll discuss at the next meeting.”

  “Miss P., you are a genius. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought into the details of holding this rodeo.” Sam grinned as he bent over and hugged her.

  “Why not have Grace cochair the lead on the rodeo committee?”

  “Oh, no,” she demurred, suspecting Jack wanted that position. “Ben’s doing a fine job. I’m just here to help.”

  “Miss P. helps everybody,” Lizzie said. “That’s what you said. Isn’t it, Pops?” She peered at her grandfather.

  “I sure did, Sweet Pea. Gracie’s a born organizer.” The gracious and fulsome praise from Jack was totally unexpected. So was his wink. Gracie gulped as her heart rate ramped up. “Fact is, your ladies’ group has already begun planning ways to help with the rodeo, including the menu. Am I right?”

  “Well, yes,” she admitted, unable to do anything about the color flooding her face because of his appreciative stare.

  “So, all we have to do is follow Miss P.’s directions,” Drew joked. Everyone laughed.

  Grace appreciated this confidence in her, but with Jess’s place to take care of, with Lizzie and with filling in for Jack, she didn’t really want even more responsibility. She also didn’t have a lot of knowledge about rodeos.

  She was about to decline when she noticed Jack’s face. His narrowed gaze was on her and he was frowning. Because he didn’t think she could handle the job? Because she was only good for libraries and looking after Lizzie? Grace mentally bristled.

  Jack talked a good game. He pretended he trusted her and believed in her. He said all the right words. But was the truth that he actually had no faith in her? Was that why he wanted to marry her, so he could be in control of things? A thousand doubts filled her head until everything whirled together and she couldn’t separate feeling from truth.

  But Grace knew one thing for sure. She had always had a soft spot for Jack Prinz. He made her feel things, dream things that she’d never before imagined. At his best, Jack was funny and sweet and brought joy to her world. In spite of her denials, the crush she’d had at fifteen had now matured and bloomed and deepened into something that, if not love, was as close to it as she’d ever been.

  But she could not marry Jack. She would not marry a man who didn’t believe in her, who wouldn’t be there to give her his total confidence and full support, who wouldn’t cheer her on. But that wasn’t the only reason why marriage was impossible.

  Today had brought Grace new perspective and with it, self-realization and the disquieting knowledge that though she cared a great deal about Jack, she didn’t believe in him either, not completely.

  Not as a wife should.

  “I’m afraid I couldn’t possibly be cochair,” she blurted and turned to Jack. “You and Ben know way more about rodeos than I do. I’d prefer to stay in the background on this, though I’m happy to help however I can.”

  Maybe if she had more time to see how Jack worked with the committee, she could figure out if she truly wanted to build a closer relationship with him. And perhaps, with time, Jack would begin to see her as more than just a librarian who was good with Lizzie.

  At least I hope that’s where You’re leading me.

  * * *

  Something was off with Gracie.

  Jack sensed it the moment she refused to accept the position of rodeo cochair. It wasn’t the way she declined, not because of a tremor in her voice or anything like that. It wasn’t even that she’d said she preferred the background, as if she could ever be in the background, unnoticed.

  As soon as the meeting was adjourned, she’d excused herself, taken Lizzie and left. For the past two days she’d shuttered herself inside the log house, sending Lizzie out with his meals.

  Then, last night, on the verge of sleep, Jack had suddenly remembered the way Gracie had looked at him at the end of the meeting. She’d gazed across Bonnie and Ben’s table, violet eyes dulled, erect shoulders slumped, as if she’d lost every special feature that made her who she was. Right after Drew had made his joke, that’s when something had changed, something important, something he was pretty sure he couldn’t make better with all the sweet talk in the world.

  Something that meant Gracie Partridge was testing him.

  But why and about what?

  He was pretty sure the why had to do with his failure to meet Lizzie’s bus that day. So it was time to make amends.

  Jack ambled across the yard and tossed some gravel at the door. The bus had come and gone with Lizzie. Grace would be alone now. They could talk.

  He hoped.

  The door opened, but she didn’t look at him. She was on the phone.

  “I’m sure you’ll find a way, Jess. You’ve talked about riding a camel for eons. You can make this happen. Talk to the shore excursions person on the ship. They’ll have a way to arrange it if you really want to go.” Finally she lifted her head.

  Jack pointed to the picnic table. She nodded but continued her conversation.

  “I’m so glad you’re enjoying it,” she said, though there was nothing in her expression that spoke of gladness. “No, nothing new here, but I do have to go now. I’ll talk to you again soon, okay? Bye.”

  She tucked her phone in her pocket, grabbed an insulated mug and joined him at the table. “Do you need something more for breakfast?”

  “No. Thank you.” Maybe this wasn’t the right time, but—“Have you got a minute to talk, Grace?” Jack asked.

  “I suppose. But I need a comfier chair than those benches.” She chose one of the big Adirondack chairs and sank into it. Jack sat next to her.

  “I’m sorry about the other day and not meeting the bus,” he began. “Lizzie told me you were worried. I never meant to cause you that.”

  “You never do.” It was not an accusation. It was said in a flat tone of acceptance.

  Which he hated. Because it was important that she think better of him?

  “We should have been back well before Lizzie came home. But we broke something on the vehicle and there was no cell reception in that valley.”

  “Uh-huh. Bonnie told me she noticed no one had met Lizzie so she stepped in. Thankfully.” She sipped her coffee, her gaze fixed on something to the left of him, though Jack saw nothing that would require such attention.

  “I’m trying to apologize, Gracie.”

  “My name is Grace.” She studied him, her attitude distant. “Apologize for what?”

  “For not being here when Lizzie got home.” He should have said more, but he wasn’t sure that was what she wanted to hear from him. “For worrying you.”

  “You already said it wasn’t your fault. Anyway, I wasn’t that worried,” Gracie told him, again in that chilly voice that was so unlike her warm personality. “But Lizzie would have been. Wouldn’t you be if you were a five-year-old child with no one to meet you when you got off the school bus?”

  “Almost six,” he joked. Gracie was not amused.

  “If Bonnie hadn’t been here, hadn’t realized that no one was home for Lizzie, that she was all alone over here...” She let it trail away. “Don’t you feel any responsibility for her?” she asked after some time had passed and she couldn’t repress her annoyance any longer. “Do you care so little for your own granddaughter that you’ll dump her on the first willing person who comes along so you can have your freedom—to take pictures?”

  “I was trying to get good shots for the rodeo brochure,” he argued as irritation flared. What was behind this inquisition?

  “You already had good shots, Jack. Many of them,” she added. “In fact, I was under the impression that we’d already chosen several, the very ones you showed to the rodeo group that afternoon.” Grace looked straight at him, waiting. For what?

  “I want everything to be first quality,” he bristled.

  “If you keep on reaching for perfection, you’re going to seriously and negatively impact our rodeo. Those pamphlets should have been printed immediately after the meeting. And yet you went out to take even more shots yesterday. Why?”

  “I was trying—” He faltered, unable to come up with a solid excuse and uncomfortable under her stare.

  “Trying to do what?” Grace kept hammering. “Don’t you want to spend time with your granddaughter? Are you afraid of her, Jack?”

  “Of course I’m not afraid of her! I love Lizzie,” he snapped in exasperation and then wondered if love was the right word. Maybe he only thought he loved her. Maybe he was as incapable of love as he was unlovable.

  “So you love her. Just not enough to spend time with her.” She shook her head when he blustered for a response and continued. “You’ve missed five consecutive evening story times with her, Jack.”

  “I had—”

  “Something more important to do?” Her eyebrow arched. “She’s a little girl who should be dreaming of fairy tales. Yet she lies awake, wondering why her pops didn’t kiss her good-night, didn’t tell her that he loves her.” Grace leaned forward, locked gazes with him. “And you never came. You never said what she longed to hear so she could fall asleep secure in the knowledge that the person she loves the most feels the same about her.”

  Jack had nothing with which to defend himself so he remained silent, hugging his secret to himself.

  “You’re doing to her what your father did to you.”

  “Never,” he said with loathing.

  “Then explain why you’re avoiding spending time with her. Lately you dump Lizzie on me, or Bonnie, the Calhoun wives or whoever is convenient at the moment. You divest yourself of responsibility as often as you can and I need to understand why.”

  “I do love Lizzie,” Jack muttered. He lifted his head and stared at her. “I’m just not like you, Gracie.”

  “Like me?” She drew back in dismay. “What does that mean?”

  “You take on everything without fear,” he said quietly. “You know what’s right and you don’t back down at a challenge.”

  “Neither do you,” she said immediately. Then she frowned and added, “Do you?”

  “Sometimes. I’m useless when it comes to feelings.”

  “I don’t understand how that relates—”

  “Just listen for a minute.” Trapped, Jack raked a hand through his hair and wondered if what he was about to say would sound stupid. “I’ve heard a lot about you and your part in that Experience Christmas thing you did. Sam says you helped pull together the entire community for that event. You inspire people, Gracie.”

  “I don’t think so.” She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “I just try to help, but sometimes I try too hard, and—I told you. Folks get offended.” She sounded chastened by her own admission.

  “Probably because they don’t understand, at least not right away,” he said quietly.

  “Understand what?”

  “That your sole goal is to help. Help people. Help your friend Jess. Help the town. Help make the world better.” Jack smiled at her. “That’s who you are.”

  “That’s silly,” she said, her cheeks turning a bright pink. “I’m just Sunshine’s former librarian.”

  “If that’s what I thought when I first came here, it isn’t true now. You are much more than that, Grace,” Jack told her and meant it. “I admire you far beyond what I can articulate. I’m sorry if you feel that I’ve underestimated you.” He watched her deal with his words and winced as suspicion filled her lovely face. He’d hurt her without meaning to.

  “You’re doing it again.” Her jaw tensed and her chin lifted.

  “Doing what?”

  “Playing games. Trying to flatter me, to get me charmed and confused so I’ll forget my point and then you’ll be able to walk away without facing the truth.”

  “I am not trying to do that, but what is your point?” He waited, surprised that she easily recognized and was willing to call him out on the behavior he so often resorted to. “Come on, explain,” he encouraged. “You help everyone else. You can try to help me, can’t you?”

  He’d half meant it as a joke, but as he said it, he knew he truly wanted her help. Grace didn’t back down.

  “The thing is,” she began slowly, as if searching her way through a maze. “I think you have to want to be helped, Jack, and I’m not sure you do. I think you’ve become comfortable with this game of self-sufficiency you play. But I don’t play games, Jack. I don’t know how.”

  “I’m not playing games,” he promised, not exactly sure why he wanted her help, but certain he needed it. He’d followed his own path for so long, kept his loneliness and pain hidden, pretended everything was fine. Only it wasn’t. He knew it.

  And Grace knew it, too.

  “This might hurt you to hear,” she murmured, her voice gentle.

  “Say it anyway.” He shrugged and grinned. “I’m a tough cowboy, remember?”

  “Very well.” She exhaled but held his gaze like a laser beam. “When you ran away from home... I think you were trying to protect yourself. You loved your father, but he couldn’t or wouldn’t show you love, so the only way to make it hurt less was for you to run away.”

  “True, and it was a good move. I ended up with Milt,” he told her, trying to infuse some lightness into the memories.

  “Did you love Milt?”

  Grace’s question rocked Jack. He frowned, struggling to find an answer.

  “No games, remember?”

  “I cared for him a great deal,” he said slowly. “I guess some people would say I loved him.”

  “But you wouldn’t say that?” she pressed.

  “I don’t have much use for the word love,” he admitted. “We love pie. We love coffee. People say it so often it’s become meaningless.”

  “It’s not just saying the word though, is it?” She studied him so intently he wanted to turn away. Yet he couldn’t. “You don’t want to feel love because it hurts if it’s not reciprocated. Like it hurt with your father. That’s why you won’t let anyone get too close, including sweet little Lizzie,” she added very softly. “Because she might hurt you.”

  “I care about Lizzie more than anything in this world.”

  “Yes, but you didn’t say love. Because you can’t.” Grace said it as if a light had gone on. “That’s why you said that if we marry, you won’t love me. Because love threatens you. But Lizzie loves you and needs you to love her...” She paused to let her words sink in. “You want to marry me, Jack, but not because you care for me. You’re angling for marriage so you won’t be vulnerable to hurt, but you’ll still be certain Lizzie’s taken care of. Because I do love her.”

  Jack said nothing. What could he say? She was too close to the truth.

  Grace remained silent for a long time, obviously sorting things through in her mind. Jack kept quiet because he didn’t want to reveal anything else. Looking weak—he’d avoided that all these years. He wasn’t about to bare his soul now.

  “Actually, Jack, the problem is you do love Lizzie.” Grace sighed. “But you’re desperately afraid of that love. You don’t trust it, just like you don’t trust me.”

  “What?” Jack stared at her. “I trust you. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t.”

  “Your proposal had nothing to do with trust. You wanted an agreement, remember?” Grace smiled sadly and shook her head. “You didn’t know me, don’t know me even now. And I don’t really know you either.” Her forced smile hurt to see. “How could two strangers like us ever survive a marriage, Jack?”

  He knew then that she was going to turn him down, for good. He couldn’t let that happen. She was his last hope for his granddaughter. Lizzie deserved Grace in her life, to be loved and cared for by her. His granddaughter deserved to have this woman give her all the things he didn’t know she needed, let alone know how to give them.

  Jack had to make that happen, no matter what it cost him.