“Went okay, I guess. About what I figured.”

  “Well, that’s good?” Declan said, his tone rising of its own accord, making his statement sound more like a question.

  “Yeah, whatever. Can we go?”

  “Sure,” Declan replied. “You just wanna go home?”

  “Yes please,” Lucas said, his tone softening. “I’m just really tired. It’s been a long few weeks.”

  “Sure, I understand,” he said, following Lucas out into the afternoon sun.

  The car was warm when they climbed in, and once again Declan was struck with longing to be close to Lucas. He smelled clean and warm, and Declan just wanted to bury his face against the soft skin along the side of Lucas’s neck to breathe him in. But he didn’t. He stared straight ahead and put the car into gear, pulling out into traffic that hadn’t seemed to lighten since the morning rush.

  THEY MADE it back to Lucas’s safe house in just under a half an hour, the ride home as silent as the one downtown had been. It was awkward. There was so much Declan wanted to say, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t push. It couldn’t be him. He had to let Lucas decide that he wanted Declan to be in his life.

  He pulled into the driveway and turned off the car, hesitating for a moment, unsure whether he should walk Lucas to the door or not. It seemed too personal, but it was awkward to just sit there and say good-bye.

  Declan was so out of his element, second-guessing his options and doubting every decision. It was driving him insane.

  He turned toward Lucas and opened his mouth to speak, but Lucas interrupted him. “Do you wanna come in?” he asked quietly.

  Declan’s heart swelled with hope. Maybe they could go back, maybe Lucas had forgiven him.

  He nodded, not trusting his voice not to break with his assent.

  “’Kay.”

  Lucas pushed open the car door and climbed out. It took Declan a split second to gather enough mental capacity to force his body to do the same, and then he was bounding up the steps after the man he wanted more than anything on Earth.

  He followed Lucas inside and closed the door behind them. “Do you want something to drink?” Lucas asked, his voice sounding unsure.

  “Uh, no thanks,” Declan said, before he realized he should have said yes. Holding a drink would give him something to do with his hands. He was just standing there, staring. Lucas looked terrified. Declan shoved his hands into his pockets and stared back. Neither man said anything. It was possibly the longest two minutes of Declan’s life.

  “Uh, come on in, I guess,” Lucas said finally, leading Declan into the living room.

  He looked around taking in the space that Lucas had called home since he’d left Declan. It was nice, small but nice. Tidy with generic furniture that could have been in any home in America.

  There was a light-blue sofa that sat along one wall, an oak coffee table, and a grey armchair, all facing the TV that was mounted across from the front window. There were no books, no knickknacks, no personalization of any kind. Declan couldn’t see Lucas living here. It wasn’t him.

  He took a seat on the sofa, far enough to the side that Lucas could sit next to him if he wanted to.

  He didn’t.

  Instead, he sat down in the armchair next to the sofa. Declan tried not to be disappointed at the indefinite space that still stretched between them. He tried not to get his hopes up about what Lucas might say next. It took everything in him not to blurt out how much he missed him, how much he wanted him back. He owed it to Lucas to listen to what he had to say, though.

  Lucas took a deep breath and started talking.

  “I’ve had a long time to think about what I was going to say to you when I saw you again, Declan. It’s all I’ve thought about since I left….” His words ended there, silence stretching out like the ocean.

  “And?”

  “And I still don’t know. It feels like I’ve been away from you for an eternity, and I am more confused now than I was when I left.”

  He sat back in the chair and pulled his feet up under him before continuing. “I have never been happier than I was with you. I love you. I’d never let myself fall like that before, but you made me feel safe, like falling was the best thing I could do if you were the one that was there to catch me. I could have lived in your arms forever, but you broke that.”

  Declan nodded, the sting of Lucas’s words cutting deep.

  “I feel like you betrayed me, like you deceived me. I know you think you were doing the right thing, and that every intention was honorable, but the job came first, and your agenda came first. I needed you to put me first, and you couldn’t do that.

  “It was hard for me to tell you what happened, possibly more difficult than going through it in the first place. I had started to care about you. I didn’t want to see that look of pity across your face. I didn’t want you to think of me as a victim, just another guy that you swooped in to save. I wanted to be different for you, and you turned it into a police case. That night wasn’t about victim testimony. That was about me opening up and telling you something that scared the shit out of me to tell.”

  “I know that,” Declan said.

  “No, you don’t know that, because I didn’t tell you. You betrayed that confidence by writing it all down. I realize you never meant for Mack to find it. I know that my telling you put you in a tough spot because it’s your job to report it, but it was your job to tell me that you couldn’t keep it between us, that you couldn’t in good conscience not report it. I would have understood, and it may have taken me longer to get to a point where I felt comfortable telling you, but I truly believe I would have gotten there. Instead, I feel like you tricked me into telling you before I was ready.

  “And now that I am saying this out loud, I know how similar I sound to a fifth-grade girl getting pissed at her best friend for not keeping her secrets, but I don’t give a shit. We had something, Declan, something I’ve never had with anyone else, and it was built on a trust that you shattered the second you had the opportunity. I just don’t know where to go from here.”

  “But is there? I mean… is there somewhere to go?”

  Lucas rose from the chair and moved to sit facing Declan on the sofa. “I don’t have everything worked out in my head. It’s still a jumbled fucking mess of a situation, and I can’t seem to sift through all the tangled threads. All I know is that I’ve been fucking miserable since I left and I’m not going to be unmiserable without you.”

  Declan was trying hard to focus on the words and really hear Lucas. He wanted to understand, to show him that he understood, but the joy that was sweeping him under was making it difficult for him to process the rest.

  There was a chance they could get back what they had lost. Lucas was going to try to forgive him. He tried to calm himself down. He didn’t want to push too far too fast, but he reached over, turning Lucas’s hand over in his lap and sliding his along Lucas’s palm until their fingers were intertwined.

  Lucas sighed and relaxed into the touch, stroking his thumb along the side of Declan’s hand. That simple touch meant more to Declan than anything else ever had. He wanted to freeze this moment, this feeling, and keep it with him always. He could feel the love, as if it were a tangible thing, seeping from him. He wanted to fan it toward Lucas, bathe him in it. He tightened his grip, wanting Lucas to know how much he loved him.

  “I’m not going to tell you that all is instantly forgiven, because it’s not, Declan. We’re going to need to build the trust back, and it could take some time.”

  “But we can try? Please, Lucas. I want to try,” he said. He was not above begging. If it meant Lucas would come back, he would get down on his knees to beg.

  Lucas nodded, a little smile breaking across his lips. “Yeah, we can try. I’ve missed you.”

  Declan shifted his body to face Lucas more directly. Keeping their hands tangled together, he reached up with his other hand to slide his palm along Lucas’s cheek. Lucas closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. Declan couldn’t believe how unbelievably good it felt to be touching him like this. Lucas opened his eyes. He looked so vulnerable, staring at Declan with glassy blue eyes, begging him silently not to hurt him again.

  Declan leaned in slowly, giving Lucas time to pull back if he wanted to, just like he had that first night in Hope Cove. Lucas leaned in too, closing the space between them and pressing their lips together.

  Pure, unadulterated joy surged through Declan. He felt as though his blood had been replaced by liquid happiness. That chaste kiss meant more to him than Lucas could ever know. Lucas’s lips were soft and warm, and Declan never wanted to stop kissing him. He applied a little more pressure, and just like he was made for it, Lucas opened up for Declan, sliding his tongue out to lick tentatively at Declan’s bottom lip. Declan threaded his fingers through Lucas’s hair, holding them together and kissing him back.

  The kisses were slow, leisurely, as if they had forever to kiss. There was nothing urgent between them. If Declan had anything to say about it, they did have forever.

  They kissed for what felt like hours, tasting each other and feeding off each other, until Lucas shifted, climbing to straddle Declan’s lap. He kissed him harder, deeper, and Declan heard Lucas moan quietly. Declan pulled him in, wrapping his arms around Lucas’s waist and holding him closer.

  Lucas broke the kiss, panting quietly. “No.”

  Declan immediately dropped his hands. “No?”

  “No, I mean no, not here. Not like this. I don’t want to do this here, Declan.”

  Lucas kissed him again, reassuring him with actions instead of words. “Take me home?”

  “Home.”

  “Yeah. This was never home. I just wanna be home with you. Please?”

  Declan pulled him in again, burying his face in Lucas’s chest. “Yeah,” he said, the sound muffled by the fabric of Lucas’s T-shirt. “Let’s go home.”

  It only took a few minutes to pack up all of Lucas’s things and load them into the car. If Declan got his way, Lucas would never be leaving again. He steered the car out onto the highway and back toward Hope Cove.

  Chapter 28

  DECLAN WAS supposed to check in with Mack when he arrived back from Bangor. He couldn’t bring himself to go into the station, though. Instead, he dialed Mack’s cell number and waited for his boss to answer.

  “Hello?” Mack shouted over the very loud, very insistent crying.

  “Hey Mack,” Declan shouted back. “Just wanted to let you know I’m back in Hope Cove. Mostly everything went well at the DA’s office, but I can fill you in on all that when you’re not busy.”

  “Declan! Are you doing anything now? Would you mind coming over? We’ve tried everything and she just won’t stop screaming.”

  “Uh… Sure.” Declan hesitated. “Lucas is with me.”

  “Oh, oh,” Mack said, understanding dawning on him. “Okay, then. I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Have a good night and say hello to Lucas for me.”

  “Will do, boss. Good luck!”

  “Thanks, I’m gonna need it.” And with that, all Declan heard was silence.

  “What was that all about?” Lucas asked once Declan had tucked his phone back away.

  “Mack and Oliver adopted a baby girl. Possibly the loudest baby girl on the planet, but she’s a cute little thing.”

  “Wow, really? That’s so great. They wanted you to go over there?”

  “Yeah, they’re having some trouble getting her to settle down. I guess I have more experience with kids than they do. I babysat a lot for my sister when Dylan was a baby and I picked up a few tricks.”

  “Well, let’s go see them, then,” Lucas said, as if any other option would be completely insane.

  “But….” Declan stammered, needing to feel Lucas naked and happy in his arms, and Lucas wanted to go change diapers?

  Lucas chuckled. “I’m kidding. But I do wanna meet the baby. Tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, tomorrow,” Declan agreed.

  They were finally home, Lucas back where he belonged. As much as Declan wanted to get Lucas into the house, the car ride home had been nice. They had held hands, content with the simple contact.

  They went inside, the house looking the same as it had the last time Declan had been there, but it felt different somehow. They weren’t even through the foyer yet, and it already felt fuller, more vibrant. Lucas did that. He transformed the house from a box with a roof into a sanctuary of domesticity where they could live happily ever after. They would too, live happily ever after. Declan would make sure of that.

  He wasn’t going to let anything come between them again.

  Declan closed the door behind them, sealing them away together. They needed that time to reconnect, to relearn each other all over. Declan looked forward to it.

  He pulled Lucas into his arms and kissed him soundly on the mouth. Lucas instinctively opened for him, sliding his tongue along Declan’s. They walked back to their bedroom without breaking their kiss.

  After falling into bed together, they took their time removing clothing and relearning each other’s bodies. Declan hadn’t forgotten a single thing about how Lucas looked and how he responded to each touch, but it didn’t hurt to be reminded.

  He kissed along his jaw, loving the rasp of stubble against his lips. He continued down, pressing his lips against the steady pulse at the side of Lucas’s neck. Lucas moaned softly and leaned into Declan, sifting his fingers through Declan’s hair and along his shoulders.

  Declan continued down, finding Lucas’s nipple, licking softly at it and sucking gently until Lucas was squirming beneath him before switching to lavish the same attention to the other side.

  Lucas slid his hands around Declan’s arms and pulled him back up to meet his mouth, bringing the hard lines of their erections together where their hips met. The slide of skin felt wonderful. They rocked together, just enjoying the feeling of each other. Declan thought he could stay like this forever, just touching and kissing and enjoying the man beneath him.

  Lucas wiggled, shifting to lean over the side of the bed. Declan took the opportunity to lay kisses along the scar that had formed where the knife had gone in. He’d almost lost this man, not once, but twice. His hands tightened around Lucas as he held on. Then Lucas rolled to face him again, pressing a foil packet and a small bottle into his palm.

  Declan looked down at Lucas, the question “Are you sure?” asked silently with one look.

  Lucas nodded. “Need to feel you, Declan. Need you inside me. Show me….”

  Declan kissed him, tilting up enough to tear open the foil packet, roll the condom down and slick himself up. He poured more lube onto his fingers, pressing one against Lucas’s entrance. He massaged gently, coaxing the tight ring of muscle to relax before gently pressing one finger inside.

  Lucas hissed softly against the breach, but before long was canting his hips gently against Declan’s hand. Declan added another finger, stretching Lucas out, determined not to hurt him. The urgency that had abandoned them all day was now back. Declan wanted inside Lucas’s body, to claim him and drive him over the edge with pleasure.

  He slowed himself down, reminding himself that they had all the time in the world for this. He crooked his fingers forward, finding the tiny bundle of nerves deep inside Lucas that made his eyes squeeze shut and his thighs shake.

  “Now, Declan. Please,” he begged, his hands clutching at Declan’s shoulders.

  Declan fastened his mouth over Lucas’s, swallowing his cries as he positioned himself and pressed steadily in. Wet heat surrounded him, pulling him deeper inside Lucas’s body.

  This wasn’t the first time he and Lucas had made love, but it felt a little like a first: a new beginning. He set a slow pace, tilting his hips and changing the angle.

  “Oh God, Declan… right… right there. Oh God, please, do that again.”

  Declan withdrew, pushing back in painfully slowly, wanting to draw out Lucas’s pleasure and drive him absolutely insane with it.

  “Declan, please… some… ugh… so much… please.”

  Lucas was losing his capacity for language and Declan was not far behind him. He shifted, trapping Lucas’s leaking erection between them. Sweat and precome gathered, slicking the way for Lucas to come closer and closer to tipping over the edge.

  Declan’s steady rhythm became choppy, his concentration lost to the ebb and flow of sensations pouring over him. He tried to hold off, to make it last, but then it didn’t matter. Lucas cried out his name and arched against him, heat spreading between them. The feeling of Lucas’s orgasm shoved Declan right over the edge after him, and he came, rush after rush deep inside Lucas.

  Declan collapsed on him, kissing the saltiness of Lucas’s skin as they panted together, breathing in and out in opposing rhythm. Declan carefully pulled out of Lucas and discarded the spent condom before he rolled back and pulled Lucas against him. Lucas tilted his head, finding Declan’s mouth, kissing him as they came down together, settling in against each other.

  A LOUD ringing woke Declan from a dead sleep. It had been the first time in almost a month he had slept peacefully. He shifted, feeling the warmth of Lucas’s skin against his as he searched blindly for the phone.

  “Hello?” he croaked, his voice rough from sleep.

  “Good morning, Declan,” a cheerful female voice cooed.

  Declan searched the back of his mind for where he knew that voice from, but his brain was cloudy and addled from multiple orgasms and doping comfort.

  “It’s April Reese,” she said, her tone shortening as she lost patience. “I’m calling to let you know that the defense has changed their plea on Mr. Matvey in light of the DNA evidence that they found on the Orion. He has chosen to plead guilty on all charges in exchange for a downgrade of those charges from hate crime to aggravated assault. He’ll get the maximum sentence of ten years in prison as well as a hefty fine. The others will have restraining orders placed against them prohibiting them from coming within one hundred yards of Mr. Hale. All seven men will be responsible for damages to be paid to Mr. Hale. We are working out the final details, but I wanted to give you an update on where things were going.”