‘Oh Peggy,’ I said again.

  ‘I know. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.’

  ‘Does Stevie know?’

  ‘No. Can you tell him? I can’t speak to him now. Tell him what’s happened and that I won’t be able to meet him tomorrow.’

  ‘I will. What time are Verity and her colleague visiting you?’

  ‘Two o’clock. She wants to speak to Fred and me before he collects Kiri and Liam from school.’ Her voice broke again. ‘Cathy, do you think they’ll take Kiri and Liam into care?’

  ‘I don’t know, Peggy, but I think you need to be prepared for that possibility.’

  ‘I couldn’t bear to lose them.’ She cried openly. ‘I’ve lost my daughter and Stevie. If I lose the little ones too, my life won’t be worth living.’

  My eyes filled. What could I say? Like other families who faced having their children taken into care, Peggy was devastated, as I knew Fred would be. Although I’d never met Liam and Kiri, I’d heard so much about them from Stevie and Peggy I felt I did know them. I could imagine the heart-breaking scene in their house if they were taken away, with all of them in tears and begging that Kiri and Liam be allowed to stay. How would they cope in the aftermath? I had no idea. As upsetting as that scene would be, worse was the knowledge that it could all have been avoided. If Stevie had felt able to talk to his grandparents when Joey had first asked him to take the indecent images of Liam and Kiri, and Peggy hadn’t now broken the contact rules, none of this would have happened.

  ‘I’ll tell Stevie,’ I said.

  ‘Yes, please, and tell him I’m sorry and we love him.’

  ‘I will. Phone me if you need to,’ I said.

  She said a small ‘thanks’ and put the phone down.

  With a very heavy heart, I went slowly upstairs to Stevie’s room, dreading what I had to say. I paused outside his door, summoning the courage to knock. ‘Stevie, it’s Cathy. I need to speak to you.’

  ‘Come in,’ he called.

  I went in, leaving the door slightly ajar. Stevie was sprawled on his bed, watching a video on his laptop. Seeing my sombre expression, he immediately sat upright. I took the chair by the small desk.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked.

  ‘Your gran just phoned me. You haven’t spoken to her this evening, have you?’

  ‘No. I sent a text, but she hasn’t replied. I’m seeing her tomorrow anyway.’

  ‘I’m afraid you won’t be seeing her tomorrow, Stevie.’ There was no easy way to say this. ‘The four of you – you, your gran, Kiri and Liam – were seen together yesterday by a social worker.’

  ‘No, I never –’ he began, immediately going on the defensive.

  ‘Stevie, there is no point in lying. Your gran has just told me she’s been taking Liam and Kiri to see you. A colleague of Verity’s spotted you all together yesterday. This is very serious, Stevie. And after everything that was said to you about not having any contact with Liam and Kiri!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said with a small, dismissive shrug.

  I looked at him carefully and thought he had no idea of the implications of this. ‘Stevie, Verity has told your grandparents that there is a possibility Kiri and Liam will be taken into care.’

  The colour drained from his face. ‘They can’t do that! They haven’t done anything wrong.’

  ‘No, Liam and Kiri haven’t, but your grandparents have, in allowing you to see them.’

  ‘We won’t do it again, I promise,’ Stevie said, panicking. ‘I’ll tell Verity. I’ll phone her now.’ He grabbed his phone from the bed.

  ‘She won’t be there now,’ I said. ‘It’s after eight.’

  ‘I’ll phone her tomorrow morning then. I’ll tell her it was my fault. I asked Gran, and I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.’

  I supposed there was a slim chance this might help, but I didn’t want to give him false hope.

  ‘There’s no harm in phoning Verity tomorrow if you want,’ I said. ‘But I honestly don’t know how much good it will do.’

  ‘I’ll make her understand,’ he said. ‘I’ll phone Gran now and tell her I’ll make it OK.’ He had the phone to his ear.

  ‘I’ll be downstairs if you need me,’ I said, and left his room.

  Five minutes later Stevie came down. ‘Gran’s mobile is off, so I tried the house phone. Grandpa answered and said Gran was too upset to talk. One of them will phone when they know what’s happening. Grandpa sounded like he was crying.’ Finally, the enormity of what was happening hit him.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Waiting for News

  Stevie looked dreadful the following morning – pale, tired and drawn – so I guessed he hadn’t had much sleep either. He didn’t want any breakfast, just a glass of juice.

  ‘If you’re still going to phone Verity, make sure it’s not while your phone is supposed to be switched off in school,’ I said. ‘We don’t want any more trouble. If she’s not there, leave a message on her voicemail.’

  He nodded dejectedly.

  ‘And please make sure you go to school,’ I added later as I saw him off at the door. ‘There’s nothing you can do, and we’ll be told when there is any news. Take care and phone me at lunchtime if you want to.’ Head down, with his shoulders slumped and school bag hanging desultorily from one arm, he went down the front path and out onto the pavement. A shadow of his former self. I closed the front door.

  Before I did anything, I made myself another coffee. I felt shattered from worry and little sleep. Problems that affect the looked-after child affect everyone else in the family. As far as I knew, Stevie hadn’t told Adrian, Lucy or Paula about this new upset – that he’d been seen with Kiri and Liam – and there’d been no time this morning. I didn’t mention it to them. They were all busy getting ready to go to work or college. If necessary, we could talk about it this evening.

  I was expecting Verity to phone at some point and she did at midday, her voice business-like, formal and efficient. ‘I’ve just come from a meeting,’ she said. ‘Stevie’s left me a voicemail message, saying he is sorry. I assume you know that Mrs Jones has been taking Liam and Kiri to see Stevie?’

  ‘I found out last night,’ I said. ‘Peggy telephoned me to tell me what had happened. She was very upset and asked me to tell Stevie. I had no idea prior to last night that Stevie had been seeing Kiri and Liam. I thought he understood he wasn’t to see them while the police investigation was ongoing.’ I felt I should make that clear in case Verity was under the impression I had colluded with them in seeing each other, which would have probably resulted in me being barred from fostering.

  ‘I’ll see Stevie tomorrow,’ Verity continued. ‘I won’t have time today. Can you send me the dates and times of when Stevie saw his grandmother? Also, any relevant information surrounding those meetings. What he said and so forth.’

  ‘Yes.’ This is one of the reasons why foster carers are expected to keep accurate log notes.

  ‘Email them to me, please, as soon as you can.’

  ‘I’ll do it now,’ I said. ‘Peggy and Stevie are very sorry for what they’ve done.’

  ‘I know. I understand that Stevie gave his grandmother his old phone and they have been in touch that way.’

  ‘Yes. Peggy told me you were thinking of taking Kiri and Liam into care.’

  ‘We will be. That’s what the meeting was about. They’ve given us no choice. If you could send through the details of when they saw each other as soon as possible that would be good. Sorry to rush, I’m really pushed for time.’

  I replaced the handset and went into the front room where I sat at the computer, tears welling in my eyes. The decision had been made: Kiri and Liam were being taken into care. I tried to focus on the job in hand. I opened my log notes and did as Verity had asked, and typed the details of when Stevie had seen Kiri and Liam with his gran into an email, then sent it to Verity. I knew why she’d asked about Peggy having Stevie’s old mobile phone – in colluding in the deception of contact, it raised the possibility that she may have colluded with him in other matters. Now under suspicion, it was likely her phone would be examined by the police, and she and Fred interviewed. It was a shocking mess, and what had once been a stable, loving family was now being torn apart.

  There wasn’t much else I could do now but wait, and then be ready to support Stevie when he returned from school or phoned during the day. I felt I needed to be active to escape from my troubled thoughts, so having cleared up the house I went into the garden and set about some gardening, my mobile phone close by. At 12.30 Stevie phoned during his lunch break (when they were allowed to turn on their phones). ‘Have you heard anything?’ he asked, his voice tight.

  I went indoors to take the call so that any neighbours in their gardens couldn’t overhear. ‘Verity phoned,’ I said. ‘She’s listened to your voicemail message.’

  ‘Will it be OK then?’ he asked naively, believing his admittance of guilt and apology were enough to keep Liam and Kiri out of care.

  I didn’t want to tell him now and have him upset at school where I couldn’t comfort him, so I said, ‘Verity was in a hurry and couldn’t talk. We’ll know more later.’

  ‘But she listened to my message?’

  ‘Yes, she did.’

  ‘Shall I phone her again and see if she’s there now?’

  ‘It’s up to you, Stevie, but I doubt it will make any difference to the outcome.’ A young person in care has the right to talk to their social worker whenever they want; it’s not for the foster carer to dictate.

  ‘Yes, I’ll do that now,’ he said. ‘I’ll phone her.’

  ‘All right, but make sure you have some lunch too. You didn’t have any breakfast.’

  ‘Yes,’ he said unenthusiastically, and ended the call.

  I returned to the gardening and channelled my mounting anxiety and worry on the weeding and snipping. An hour later Edith telephoned and again I stepped indoors to take the call. ‘I understand Stevie’s siblings are coming into care later,’ she said.

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘We are thinking of placing them with Terry and Bridget.’ I knew the couple, who, like me, were local-authority carers. ‘I’ve been looking on the map and they live about a mile and a half from you,’ Edith continued. ‘That should be far enough. You’re not likely to bump into them, are you? Stevie isn’t to have contact with his siblings.’

  ‘That should work,’ I said. ‘I’ll be vigilant.’ I knew carers were in short supply so there wouldn’t be much choice, but it was prudent of Edith to check. In the past I’d had a child placed with me whose mother had lived in the next street and we were forever bumping into each other, which was upsetting for her and the child.

  ‘Can you tell me a bit about Kiri and Liam so I can pass it on to the carers?’ Edith asked. ‘It will help Terry and Bridget to settle the children in.’

  Clearly Edith had forgotten what I’d told her when I’d updated her. ‘I’ve never met them,’ I said. ‘But I’m sure Terry and Bridget will know what to do. They’re experienced carers, although Liam and Kiri are likely to be very upset.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘So you don’t know the children’s routines, likes and dislikes?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why can’t they see Stevie?’

  ‘Because he is under investigation for taking and distributing indecent images of them,’ I said, reminding her of what I’d previously told her. Each supervising social worker is responsible for at least twelve foster carers, so perhaps it was asking a lot of her to remember all this information, although Jill would have, I thought churlishly.

  ‘Will they be seeing their grandparents?’ she asked.

  ‘I assume so, but you’ll have to ask Verity.’

  ‘I’m calling her shortly to confirm the placement. Verity is hoping to place the children at Terry and Bridget’s between five and six this evening, so they will be there for dinner.’

  My heart clenched as the details brought the reality that much closer.

  ‘All right,’ I said. ‘Will you keep me updated? I need to tell Stevie what’s happening when he comes home.’

  ‘Yes.’

  I returned to the garden but was unable to take any pleasure from the warm May sunshine, pretty flowers, birdsong or the effects of my gardening. At 3.30 Stevie phoned again, having just come out of school.

  ‘Any news?’ he asked.

  ‘Edith, my supervising social worker, called. I’ll tell you what she said once you’re home. If you get on the bus now, I’ll see you in half an hour.’

  ‘Can’t you tell me now?’ he asked. I could hear street noise in the background.

  ‘No, I’d rather wait until you’re home.’

  He cut the call. I quickly cleared away the gardening tools, dumped the weeds in the green bin and went indoors, where I washed and changed out of my dirty clothes. At just gone four o’clock the doorbell rang and I immediately answered it, my mouth dry and my pulse raising.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Stevie demanded, his face set.

  ‘Come and sit down.’

  He dumped his school bag in the hall, kicked off his shoes and, throwing his jacket over the hall stand, followed me into the living room. We were the only ones home. I sat beside him on the sofa and turned slightly towards him as I spoke.

  ‘Stevie, I’m sorry, but Liam and Kiri will be going into care today.’

  ‘Why?’ he said, his eyes filling. ‘I told Verity it was my fault and it won’t happen again. I left her two messages. They’ve done nothing wrong.’

  ‘I know.’ I went to touch his arm, but he pulled it away. ‘You see, the social services have a duty to protect Kiri and Liam.’

  ‘What, from me?’ he asked angrily.

  ‘While you are being investigated by the police, yes,’ I replied honestly.

  ‘But they’re just kids. Why punish them?’

  ‘Going into foster care isn’t a punishment,’ I said. Although I knew it could feel like that to the child. ‘The social services will have decided that there are what’s called safeguarding issues. Your grandparents were in a position of trust and responsibility, and unfortunately they made a decision that could have jeopardised the children’s safety.’ I was trying to say this nicely while telling Stevie the truth.

  ‘It’s not fair,’ he said angrily. ‘It’s not right.’ Then he suddenly looked at me with hope in his eyes. ‘Can you foster them? They can have my room and I’ll sleep on the sofa. I don’t mind.’

  ‘Stevie, love, the reason why Kiri and Liam are going into care is because you’re not allowed to see them for the time being. There is no way the social services would consider placing them here so you are all under one roof.’

  ‘OK, so they can come here and I’ll go somewhere else.’ I suppose he thought it was better they went somewhere he knew.

  ‘What purpose would that serve?’ I asked him gently. ‘You need somewhere to live and you’re settled here. I know the carers Liam and Kiri are going to and they are really nice. They’re a little older than me and from what I remember their own children are adults and have left home, so they will have lots of time to look after Liam and Kiri and play with them. I promise you, love, they will be well cared for.’

  ‘They’ll be so upset,’ he said, all hope going and his face creasing. ‘They’ve never been away from Gran and Grandpa before.’

  ‘I expect they will be upset to begin with, but they will settle, just as you did. The carers will keep them occupied and make sure they’re all right.’

  ‘Can I phone my gran?’ he asked.

  ‘Not just yet. They’ll be a lot going on and your grandfather told you when you spoke to him yesterday that they’ll phone us when they are able.’

  Leaning forward, he dropped his head into his hands. I couldn’t tell if he was crying – I couldn’t see his face – but I thought he was pretty close to it. I touched his shoulder and this time he didn’t pull away.

  ‘I know it’s difficult, love, but at some point all this will be over and you’ll all be able to get on with your lives.’

  ‘Then can we all go home to Gran’s to live?’ he asked, his head still in his hands.

  ‘I don’t know.’ Clearly this depended on a number of factors, including the outcome of the police investigation, but I’d noticed he’d said “can we all go home to Gran’s to live” – including himself. Sometimes a crisis can reunite a family, although I couldn’t see how that was going to happen here – at least, not in the near future.

  ‘I’m going to my room,’ he said suddenly, standing. ‘Will you tell me when you hear anything?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  I watched him go, blaming himself and his spirit broken, as though he hadn’t a hope in the world. I checked on him regularly, every twenty minutes or so. I knocked on his bedroom door and asked, ‘Are you OK, Stevie?’ A couple of times he didn’t reply so I opened the door to check. Each time he had his earbuds in, so I nodded to him and closed the door again. He came down for dinner, still in his school uniform, and was obviously very low.

  ‘What’s the matter with you?’ Lucy asked as soon as she saw him. I hadn’t had a chance to tell them. When they’d come in they’d gone to their rooms to unwind before dinner, and I was still deciding if they needed to know at all and whether I could avoid sharing yet another of Stevie’s burdens.

  ‘Kiri and Liam have to go into foster care,’ Stevie replied.

  ‘Why?’ Lucy asked, shocked. Adrian and Paula were looking at Stevie, as concerned as Lucy was.

  ‘Because I saw them when I wasn’t supposed to,’ Stevie said bluntly, not meeting their gaze.

  They looked at me for confirmation and I nodded.

  ‘For how long?’ Paula asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Stevie said miserably.

  Little more was said after that and Stevie ate his meal in silence, then left the table to go to his room.