“You? King of the jungle? Ash Keeler isn’t afraid of anything,” Cael teased.

  Ash turned his face and kissed Cael’s palm. “That might have been true. Once.”

  The butterflies in Cael’s stomach were fluttering wildly. “You know the saying, ‘’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’”

  “Someone should have Tasered Tennyson in the balls for that one. That jackass.”

  Cael laughed, his heart going out to Ash. Everything fell into place. Ash had always been reserved when it came to his past, but Cael did his best to be understanding. He figured Ash would confide in him when he was ready. Never would he have imagined the pain and heartache that he’d suffered. Cael’s heart broke after finding out about Ash and the facility, though it put a lot into perspective and gave him a clearer understanding as to why Ash was the way he was. And now Cael’s heart was breaking all over again for the Therian he loved. He ran his fingers through Ash’s hair, ready to offer as little or as much comfort as Ash needed.

  “What if I mess it all up?” Ash said quietly, staring at the ceiling.

  “What if I do?”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “I’m not perfect, Ash.”

  “Nearly.”

  Cael smiled, touched by Ash’s never faltering esteem for him. “The charming Mr. Keeler.”

  “Stop it.” Ash looked away, embarrassed.

  “Neither of us is perfect. Relationships are hard work, and everyone comes into it with their own baggage. Granted, some more than others, but if you really care about someone, you do what you can to make it work. Look at Sloane and my brother. How much have they been through together, and that’s only the beginning. Yet each time they come through the other side and their relationship is stronger for it.”

  “Yeah, but Sloane’s not an asshole. No one would look at Dex and wonder why the hell he’s with Sloane. Your own brother can’t understand what you see in me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Oh?” Ash sat up, kicked off his shoes, and came around the other side of the bed so he could lie down next to Cael. He propped himself on his elbows and smiled. “You know something I don’t?”

  “You two might not get along all the time, but he understands. He respects you, and although he’d never admit it to you, he thinks you’ll treat me right.”

  Ash’s eyes widened. “Daley thinks that?”

  “Yeah.” Cael felt his eyelids growing heavy, and he wondered when he’d gotten so sleepy. He closed his eyes for a moment before startling himself awake.

  “It’s okay,” Ash murmured, his words laced with sleep. His eyes were closed and his breath steady. Had they both fallen asleep? “I should probably go downstairs.” Ash didn’t move, and Cael was glad.

  “Stay,” Cael whispered, afraid if he spoke any louder, Ash would leave. He held his breath as he waited for Ash’s reply. It was only one word, but it was the most wonderful word Cael had ever heard.

  “Yes.”

  With a smile, Cael closed his eyes. There was a chance Ash might get up in the middle of the night and leave, but Cael hoped not. What he wouldn’t give to wake up in Ash’s arms. For now this would have to do. His heart soared at having Ash sleeping here beside him. With a contented sigh, Cael drifted off to sleep.

  ASH WOKE up in the middle of the night with a low groan. He rubbed his eyes to orientate himself. That’s right, he was in Cael’s bedroom. Shit. He was in Cael’s bedroom. In Cael’s bed. He lay perfectly still, listening to the sound of Cael’s soft breathing. Had he turned off the lights or had Cael? He vaguely remembered dreaming about taking Cael to bed and turning off the lights. Wait, it hadn’t been a dream. He remembered now.

  Sometime after falling asleep, he woke up, got up, and turned off the lights. He’d planned on going downstairs and leaving Cael asleep, but not without straightening him out on the bed first so he wasn’t sleeping with half his legs hanging off the side. Quietly and carefully, he’d picked Cael up and laid him down on the sheets, but when he turned to leave, Cael had mumbled something and said his name. Ash had no idea what Cael had said, but when Cael smiled in his sleep after saying his name, Ash knew he wouldn’t be going anywhere. And here he was.

  Ash never would’ve believed a man could be beautiful, but Cael was. In every way imaginable. When the hell had his future become so uncertain? His life had been simple. His friends, his team, the job. Now he was starting down a path that scared the ever-living fuck out of him.

  All his life, he’d stumbled along the way, putting on a tough façade, pushing away anyone who tried to get too close. He told himself he did it to keep from hurting someone, but now as he lay here watching Cael sleep—the one person he’d let in—he discovered the truth he’d been fighting for so long. He wasn’t afraid of hurting anyone. He was afraid they’d hurt him. Cael had his heart. There was no denying it. Ash had presented Cael with the most vulnerable part of him. Was he overthinking their relationship? Next to Sloane, Cael had been his closest friend. Their relationship had changed, but their friendship was still there. The only difference now was that he could act on all those desires that had secretly consumed him for so long.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said quietly, reaching out, then pulling back. He shouldn’t start something he couldn’t finish. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Fucking hell. Everything he’d ever wanted was right in front of him. All he had to do was reach out….

  Cael let out a soft sigh and rolled toward him, snuggling against his pillow. Hesitantly, Ash placed his hand to Cael’s head, loving the feel of his feathery hair. Without the gel, it fell over his brow, making him appear even sweeter. “I must have done something right for you to love me.”

  Cael’s eyes blinked open, and he smiled. That smile would be Ash’s undoing. Not allowing himself any time to reconsider, Ash pressed his lips against Cael’s. He was warm, and his scent invaded every inch of Ash, reaching down into his soul and lighting him up from the inside out. Cael parted his lips, and Ash slipped his tongue inside, his whole world spinning off its axis. He pulled Cael hard against him, deepening his kiss in the hope that his head would finally embrace the want in his heart. There was nothing he craved more than to be the guy Cael believed he was.

  Cael returned his kiss, his fingers gently clutching at Ash’s bicep. Needing to taste more of him, Ash moved his lips to Cael’s jaw, sucking, nipping, and licking. Every sensation was new, frightening, and thrilling. He wrapped his leg around Cael’s and pressed himself against him, his blood boiling beneath his skin. Cael let out a soft moan, and it went straight to Ash’s dick. He ran his tongue up Cael’s jawline, the slightly rough texture of Cael’s stubble a new and strange sensation. He had to have more. A little voice in the back of his head kept telling him to stop, to pull back, but Ash did his best to ignore it and follow the overwhelming desire spreading through him like wildfire.

  Ash ran his hand over Cael’s torso to his back and under his T-shirt. He slipped his hand underneath the cotton fabric, his fingers meeting soft, warm skin and firm muscle. With a shaky breath, he pulled back, his eyes meeting Cael’s in the darkness. Cael licked his kiss-swollen lips, his cheeks flushed.

  “I need to see you,” Ash breathed.

  The lust in Cael’s eyes was a thing of beauty, and Ash rolled over Cael, straddling his legs and taking hold of the hem of his T-shirt. He didn’t question what he was doing. All he could think about was Cael. He’d waited so damn long for this. He’d dreamed about Cael, got himself off thinking about him.

  After pulling the shirt off, Ash tossed it to one side. He shimmied back and unbuttoned Cael’s jeans, then took hold of the waistband along with Cael’s boxer briefs underneath. He paused to make sure it was okay. Cael nodded, his cheeks flushed pink in the darkness. Holding his breath, Ash removed what was left of Cael’s clothes. He’d seen Cael naked before at work, in the showers. This was completely different. Cael lay beneath him, stretched out like an offering.

  “You’re so beautiful.” Ash bent forward and put his hands to Cael’s neck almost reverently. Was he worthy enough to touch something so precious? Ash wanted to caress and taste every line, curve, and dip. Wanted to feel their bodies pressed together, hear their mingled breaths. He wanted to draw gasps and pleas from those plump pink lips. His desire scared the shit out of him, but he reminded himself this was Cael. Cael who loved him despite all his faults. Who defended him, stood up for him, believed in him. He ran his fingers down Cael’s neck to his collarbone, down his chest and the sinewy firm muscles. His fingers ghosted one of Cael’s nipples, and the sweet gasp Cael let out as he arched his back, exposing his neck, had Ash on the brink of losing his calm.

  He continued to explore Cael’s torso, running his hands down Cael’s abs to his strong thighs sprinkled with fair hair. Between his legs, Cael’s pink-tipped cock jutted up from his neatly trimmed groin. Holy fuck, Cael trimmed. Ash released a groan, the saliva building up in his mouth at the thought of tasting Cael. What would it feel like to have Cael’s dick in his mouth? His own cock strained painfully against his jeans at the thought, and Ash carefully wrapped a hand around Cael’s dick, riveted by the whimper that met his ear. God, he loved that sound. Ash removed his own T-shirt, dropping it to one side before leaning down to kiss Cael’s lips again. There was so much he wanted to do, yet he didn’t know where to start or how far to take things. As if sensing his troubled thoughts, Cael cupped his face.

  “It’s okay. We have all the time in the world.”

  Cael gently pushed at Ash’s shoulder, and Ash followed his lead, lying back on the bed. He swallowed hard, sweat beaded across his brow as Cael got on his knees and unfastened Ash’s jeans. He took care pulling them off before dropping them off the side of the bed. Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this. Fuck. What was wrong with him? He opened his mouth to say something, but no words made it past his lips the moment Cael’s hand wrapped around his girth.

  “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me,” Cael purred. “It’s just you and me.”

  Ash felt his face burning as Cael began to stroke him, his other hand fondling Ash’s balls. It was strange yet so damn good. He was so hard, and every inch of his skin felt as if it was on fire. Somewhere in his brain, he told himself he shouldn’t feel this way. It was wrong. As he fought his own thoughts and guilt, a wet mouth closed over his cock, and he almost jumped off the bed.

  “Oh fuck!”

  Ash clutched at the sheets, his back arching up off the bed and his toes curling. Oh God, this was better than anything he’d imagined. He forced his eyes open and looked down at Cael, his body shuddering at the sight of Cael’s lips around his dick. It was mesmerizing watching himself slide in and out of that amazing mouth. Ash let his head fall back. Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everything. The only thing he knew right now was the feel of Cael sucking his cock, moaning around it, caressing his thighs, making Ash feel desired in a way he’d never felt with anyone.

  Cael licked, nipped, and sucked, his tongue pressing against his slit. “Oh fuck, Cael.” Ash slipped his fingers into Cael’s hair, holding on tight, his bottom lip between his teeth to keep himself from making too much noise, but right now he didn’t give a shit about anything. All that mattered was the amazing man between his legs driving him out of his fucking mind. He was embarrassed to discover he wasn’t going to last long.

  “Cael,” Ash gasped in warning, but Cael only doubled his efforts. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Cael,” Ash growled, his voice strained as his muscles tightened and orgasm barreled through him. Oh God, Cael was swallowing. Ash threw a hand out and clutched the sheets so fiercely his knuckles hurt. A low strangled cry escaped him as he emptied himself into Cael’s mouth, leaving him out of breath. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, basking in the afterglow of what Cael had done to him.

  Cael lay between Ash’s legs, his cheek resting against Ash’s stomach. He smiled warmly at Ash, his fingers tracing the contours of Ash’s abs.

  “You okay?” Cael asked softly.

  “That was…. Wow.” He ran a hand over Cael’s head and nodded. “Shit. That was fucking amazing.”

  Cael moved up and lay beside him, his warm bare skin pressed against Ash’s. Should he have been freaking out that he’d been given a blow job by another guy? He frowned at the thought. It wasn’t just any guy. It was Cael. The idea didn’t freak him out. In fact, having had Cael’s amazing mouth on him had him craving more. Ash turned on his side and kissed Cael, his hand slipping down Cael’s body until it reached the hard cock between his legs.

  “Are you sure?” Cael asked in a hushed tone, as if he was afraid to speak louder in case he spooked Ash.

  Ash replied by stroking Cael and bringing their mouths together. When the voice in his head tried to speak up, Ash filled his senses with Cael. He drew on every unsteady breath, every whimper and moan Cael released. Using Cael’s precome to lube him up, Ash gently pulled and stroked. He thought about what had always felt good for him, listened to the cues Cael gave him, changed things up in the hopes of pleasing Cael. Ash’s lips demanded more of Cael, and he deepened their kiss to a frenzy of desperate sucking and dueling tongues. He reveled in the way Cael squirmed and gasped, in how he clung to Ash, nails digging into his skin as he thrust into Ash’s hand, frantic for release.

  “Ash, please. Faster.”

  Ash obliged, pumping Cael’s hard dick. He slipped his leg between Cael’s, bringing their bodies closer together. He bit down gently on Cael’s neck and sucked until he’d left a small blemish. “That’s it, sweetheart. Come for me. I want to see your beautiful face when you come.”

  Cael’s gasp was swiftly followed by a quick succession of swear words and moans as he came. His movements grew erratic as he released himself, his plump lips parted in ecstasy. He thrust against Ash’s hand until he let out a hiss at his own sensitivity. Ash couldn’t take his eyes off Cael’s mouth, how his lips were still parted as he tried to catch his breath. Unable to resist the temptation, Ash ran his thumb over Cael’s bottom lip before leaning in to kiss him. They kissed for what seemed like ages, until sleep came for them.

  Ash pulled Cael into his embrace, unwilling to think of anything other than the amazing younger man in his arms. He couldn’t think of a time when he’d felt more at peace or happy than right here, right now. There had to be a way for him to hold on to this, because as Cael fell asleep in his arms, Ash knew letting him slip away would be the greatest tragedy of all.

  Chapter 8

  IT WAS hard to believe another year was about to end.

  The team decided to take Bradley up on his offer of ringing in the New Year at Dekatria. The place was packed, but then so were most places on New Year’s Eve. Since they weren’t officially taking any cases, they were assigned to work the day shift, leaving them free in the evening to celebrate. They’d all shared cabs over, knowing they’d be drinking, except maybe for Sloane, who wasn’t taking any chances considering his recent problems with shifting.

  Cael had hoped what happened Christmas Eve was the start of something for him and Ash, but things were still slow going between them, and Ash had yet to bring up anything official. On the one hand, Ash had grown more comfortable showing Cael affection in front of his family and Sloane. Christmas Day had been wonderful, with Ash hanging around the house with him, teasing him, kissing him in front of whoever was around. They’d watched movies, had Christmas dinner, exchanged gifts, laughed, and eaten some more. Whenever Cael sat down, Ash had pulled him close against him and in some cases playfully grabbed him as he walked by and pulled him onto his lap. Dex, Sloane, and Tony had been surprised, but they quickly moved on as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

  They’d arrived at Dekatria a few hours ago. Cael had danced with Rosa and her girlfriend, while Letty busted some serious moves with Dimples the firefighter. Man, they really needed to learn the guy’s name. Ash had been sweet but maintained his distance. This was the first time they’d been out in a social setting since their night together Christmas Eve. They’d been drinking and chatting by one of the pillar tables when they heard it.

  “Oh my God! Ash?”

  “Yeah?” Ash turned in time to catch a blur of glittering, shrieking sequins that launched itself into his arms. Apparently there was a busty brunette underneath all those sequins.

  Cael stood stunned as the woman smeared her bright pink lipstick all over Ash’s mouth. Seeming to get a grasp on the situation, Ash swiftly placed her on her feet and wiped the lipstick from his mouth.

  “Jesus, what the fuck, Hanna?”

  Hanna giggled and slapped his arm playfully. “You used to love it when I jumped on you. Of course, we were both naked at the time. I tried calling you, but you never answered my calls.” She pressed herself up against him and ran a finger down his arm, a pout on her face. “Where have you been? I missed you. We used to have so much fun together.”

  “I’ve been a little busy.” Ash moved her hand off his arm and took a step to the side, looking incredibly uncomfortable. That made two of them. Hanna was either oblivious to Ash’s less than subtle gestures or was purposefully ignoring them. Cael took another sip of his vodka and lemonade.

  “Are you busy tonight?” she purred, drawing circles on his chest with her finger.

  Ash frowned at her. “Yes. I’m here with my team.”

  “What’s the matter? You would have had me up against the bathroom stall by now.”

  Oh come on. Really? Cael cleared his throat, and Hanna blinked at him as if noticing him for the first time, which was likely the case. Did the woman go around sexually accosting all her exes? Why would she assume Ash was willing and able?

  “Well, aren’t you adorable.” She turned her attention back to Ash with a wide smile. “Who’s your little friend?”

  Ash ran a hand over his hair. “Um, this is Agent Cael Maddock. He’s on my team.”