She made herself pause before replying, as calmly as she could. “Why?”

  Maddie’s brows knit a little. “I don’t know.” She shook her head, seeming almost angry. “No—that’s not true at all. I had this idea that you wouldn’t think anything was good enough, that you’d turn it down no matter what. You’re from New York, and we’re from here, and nothing would ever measure up.”

  She opened her mouth to protest, but Maddie cut her off.

  “Wait. Let me finish.” She took a deep breath. “And then we got here, and you saw it and said all those things outside, and I thought I was right. I was trying to make you wrong. But you weren’t. You saw immediately how much it meant to him and backed off, like any good friend would do.” She swallowed, her eyes a little red. “I’m sorry, Ryann. I underestimated you again.”

  She stayed quiet, absorbing this outburst as best she could through a haze of frustrated anger. Maddie was a fine dancer, taking her slowly around the wide-open room, smoothly enough, in fact, that she hadn’t realized they’d moved much at all. They’d made it almost a full circle at this point, and her gaze wandered up to the piercing blue sky through the skylights above. A flock of geese was traveling far ahead, almost too distant to see. She swallowed against the strange tightness in her throat—a mix of dread and hurt. She made herself look into Maddie’s eyes again but only found concern there, regret.

  “I still don’t understand why,” she said, almost whispering. “Why did you want me to mess up?”

  Maddie pulled her closer, and their bodies became flush. Maddie bent closer, face inches away. Her breath caught, and she waited for the kiss, her heartbeat leaping. Maddie’s fingers were tight on her lower back and on her hand, both just shy of painful.

  “It’s because I don’t want to like you,” Maddie whispered. Her eyes were dark. “I don’t want to like you, so I’m searching for reasons not to. But it’s not easy. It’s not easy at all.”

  She opened her mouth, lost for a reply, but the sound of a door opening saved her. The two of them sprang apart, and she walked away several steps, her face burning and her body shaking. She had her back to Maddie, and she clasped her hands together, trying to steady their trembles. She caught sight of the toilets and rushed over to the women’s room, throwing the door open in her haste.

  She had to take several deep breaths to calm down, now shuddering, but she finally calmed enough to go to the sink. She turned on the cold water, holding her hands under it before putting them on the back of her neck and dripping over the basin. She took several more deep breaths of the humid air, still thinking she might rattle apart. She clutched the edge of the sink with her fingers for support.

  When she finally saw her reflection, she was ghostly pale, eyes circled in a dark purple. She still felt a little weak on her legs and continued to clutch the edges of the sink. She couldn’t stay in here long—Stuart would send Maddie in after her any time now, and that idea was enough motivation to gather her wits. She met her own eyes again, startled at the fright she saw there.

  “No, goddamn it,” she told herself. “You don’t get to fall apart right now. Go back out there, get back to the hotel, order yourself a nice stiff drink, and forget all of this.”

  The idea settled her enough that she was able to leave the restroom. Stuart was standing in the middle of the room, staring up at the skylights, and he turned toward her at the sound of the door. He was holding their coats and winter wear, and he handed hers to her. They took a moment to get wrapped up again, giving her longer to gather herself.

  “Hey,” Stuart finally said. “You okay?”

  “Fine.”

  He moved closer, holding out his hands so she could take them. They stared at each other for a beat before he said, “You don’t look fine. And neither did Maddie. You rushed to the bathroom when I came back in, and she was really flustered, which is totally unlike her. She even made an excuse to leave.”

  Her stomach dropped. “She left?”

  He nodded, face hardening. “What’s going on between you two? What happened?”

  She met his eyes, desperately wanting to let him in on everything. Stuart was her best friend, but really, he was her only friend—the only friend she would ever talk about things like this with, anyway. She had some friends like Ted that she got drinks with occasionally, and a few friends from yoga and Pilates she brunched with sometimes, but truthfully, all of them were surface-level friends, at best. Still, she couldn’t burden him with any of this stuff with Maddie—certainly not now, and maybe never. She tried to look reassuring.

  “It’s fine. It was a misunderstanding.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Okay. If you’re sure. I can always bring out a can of whoop-ass if she’s giving you a hard time about something.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Stuart. I’ll see her tomorrow, and I’m sure we’ll work it out together. Alone.”

  He looked unconvinced, and she made herself smile wider.

  “So is everything sorted?” she asked. “Deposit paid and all that?”

  He seemed to let it go, smiling back at her. “Yes. It is. I have the entire evening of the fourteenth and all of the fifteenth booked, so we don’t have to rush out of here. That’s actually another benefit of this place—no curfew. We can party all night.”

  “Sounds fun.”

  Stuart held out an elbow, and she took it, letting him lead her toward the door.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but Jai wants to cook for you tonight. He thought we could have dinner together, just the three of us. He wants to get to know you a little better.”

  “That sounds great,” she said, meaning it. “As long as you have alcohol, I’m there.”

  “You know it.”

  They walked out into the late-afternoon sunshine, the air bracing. Stuart grabbed her hands, both of them squeezing more desperately than a simple sign of affection deserved.

  “Can you believe I’m getting married?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with tears.

  “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks.” He wiped his eyes. “It’s starting to seem real now, I guess.”

  She squeezed again, and they turned toward his car. As they got inside, her gaze wandered to the tracks in the snow that marked where Maddie had driven away, leaving her here. Her stomach dropped again, and she pinched her eyes closed, trying not to cry.

  Chapter Twelve

  After Stuart dropped her off at the hotel, Ryann spent the next few hours catching up on email. She also made several phone calls to her board members, all of whom had returned from London without contacting her. She could sound threatening when she wanted to, and she had the power to boot every single one of them, at least individually, out of the company. They knew that. She used her scary-boss tone and managed to get what she wanted: real answers. According to all of them, London wouldn’t budge. The people there still insisted that nothing could happen sooner than the first week in March. Her company had spent a great deal of money to fly all these useless men to London, put them in a nice hotel for four nights, and they were no further than before they went. After an emergency phone call with Ted, they agreed—she had to go herself. But when? He was looking into it, but they couldn’t plan much until Monday, when the London office opened again. The British actually took weekends off.

  Work is always the solution, she told herself, closing her laptop. She hadn’t thought about Maddie in hours. Stuart would be here any minute to pick her up for dinner, and she didn’t even feel the need to overdress. Tonight was supposed to be casual, after all. She was calmer now than she’d been since she arrived in Loveland. Why she’d thought she could leave her work behind her for two weeks was a mystery. It was everything to her. Once this wedding was over, she would devote herself to it entirely. It was what she was good at, after all—no, more than good at. She was incredible at her job. And really, who needed more?

  She had a nice, quiet dinner with Stuart and Jai. She’d been warned about the cats, but she found, once there, that they didn’t bother her as much as she’d dreaded. Now that she’d had one cat on her lap at Jai’s parents’, another one didn’t faze her. Jai was a good cook and prepared something he knew she’d like, thanks to Stuart—a fresh salad, some local cheese, and grilled fish. They drank some nice scotch afterward, and she and Stuart reminisced about their shared pasts. She’d brought the wedding journal Stuart made as a teenager, which Jai howled over, laughing so hard he strained a muscle in his side. Stuart was clearly pleased she’d kept it all these years, squeezing her hand and smiling at her while Jai laughed and laughed. Both men agreed they would have to display it at the reception for everyone else to chuckle over.

  Jai told some of his own stories, and by the time she was getting in her Uber to return to the hotel, she knew him far better than before. Every moment she’d spent with him confirmed that he was a great person—the best, as Stuart had so frequently repeated (which was a lot when he had three glasses of scotch in him).

  She slept well, deeply and late, waking up once again after the designated breakfast hours, blinking in the bright sunshine. She’d forgotten to close the blinds again. She had a slight hangover but seemed to have slept off most of it.

  Her phone buzzed again on the side table—the sound that had woken her up—and she saw three missed messages from Maddie.

  Appointment at the party-rental place is at 10:00 read the first, sent this morning quite early. Are you up? the second, from an hour ago. OMW the last, sent ten minutes ago.

  “Shit,” she said, sliding off the bed. It was nine thirty, and she was still in her PJs. She had no idea how far away Maddie lived or how long it would take her to get here, but no way could she get ready before she arrived. She could just get dressed and hope for the best.

  She was opening her suitcase when she heard a knock at the door.

  “Shit,” she said again and then called out. “Yes? Hello?”

  “It’s me,” Maddie said.

  She approached the door, her hand hovering over the lock. “I’m not ready,” she said. “Can you give me a couple of minutes?”

  “Sure, but can I come in? I’ve got something for you.”

  She closed her eyes, cursing again silently. Naturally Maddie would see her like this after their conversation yesterday. Her PJs were rumpled, her hair was no doubt sticking out everywhere, her makeup was a mess. She sighed and unlocked and opened the door.

  Maddie lips curled in amusement. “Wow, you’re right. You’re not ready at all.”

  “Slept in,” she said.

  “It’s no problem—I’m sure you needed it. And I’m sorry. I should have told you yesterday what time to be ready.”

  Maddie was holding two cups of takeaway coffee, one of which she handed to her.

  “Thanks,” she said weakly. “Come in, then.”

  She closed the door after Maddie, who once again walked across the room and perched on the edge of the writing desk, watching her as she drank her coffee. The woman apparently never heard of chairs.

  “How long do I have?” she asked.

  “Ten, maybe fifteen minutes? I can call and tell them we’ll be a little late if you need more than that.”

  “No. It’s okay. I can be fast.”

  She grabbed her last clean outfit and dashed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her with relief. She took a quick rinse-off shower, used some makeup wipes to remove the last of the smeary gunk on her face and from her eyes, and yanked a comb through her hopelessly tangled curls. She didn’t really like the way she looked without makeup, but she simply didn’t have time to do anything about it, and the last thing she wanted was to put it on in the car in front of Maddie. She gave her lashes a quick brush of mascara, deciding that was enough. Plain Jane would have to do.

  “That was quick,” Maddie said when she emerged. She was now sitting on the foot of the bed, strangely, and Ryann averted her eyes, her heart leaping in her throat at the sight. Maddie’s short, wavy hair was cute and tousled, likely from removing her hat. She was wearing a black-and-gray flannel today, which made her pretty blue eyes stand out. Seeing Maddie there on her bed made her think about things—things she shouldn’t.

  Get a grip, she told herself, knowing she was blushing wildly and unable to do anything about it.

  “Shall we?” she asked as she pulled on her coat.

  “Sure,” Maddie said, springing up lightly. She hesitated at the door before turning back around to face her. “Look—about yesterday…”

  She waved Maddie off. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it”

  Maddie stepped closer, her eyes troubled. “I shouldn’t have said what I said, and I shouldn’t have left you there. I acted like a child, and I’m sorry.”

  She made herself meet Maddie’s eyes. “It’s okay. Stuart had his car. Really, it was no problem.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “And about what you said…let’s just forget it, okay? I don’t think either of us wants to complicate anything.”

  Maddie stood there silently, her expression somewhat cold. “Of course. No complications needed. We have a wedding to plan, after all.”

  “Exactly. Let’s help our friends and try to keep things simple.”

  Maddie took another step closer, her eyes dark, hungry again like they’d been yesterday at the barn. She couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped her lips. Maddie clearly heard it, the corners of her mouth turning up in a sly smile.

  “Simple is good,” Maddie said, her voice low and dark.

  It took everything in her power not to reach out and touch Maddie then, kiss her, embrace her—anything to ease the impossible strain of her pounding heart rate. She finally wrenched her eyes away and took a significant step back and away, breathing heavily. Maddie was impossibly still, as if holding her breath, and when she risked a peek at her face, Maddie appeared troubled and full of regret. They stared at each other for another long pause before Maddie relaxed slightly.

  “Let’s get going or we’ll be late,” Maddie said.

  She followed her out into the hall and downstairs. They ran into Ethel, who once again chastised her for missing breakfast, handing her a muffin before she could protest. The intrusion might normally have annoyed her, but the exchange acted as the final break in the tension between her and Maddie, and by the time they finally extricated themselves from Ethel and went outside, things were almost normal between them again. Maddie joked, as usual, about the heater in the Bronco.

  “I think it’s actually getting hotter,” Maddie said as they pulled onto the road.

  “Have you ever thought about getting it fixed?” she asked.

  Maddie laughed. “I keep saying I’ll get a new car, but it’s been a decade since I said that the first time. I love this old thing, and it’s hard to find something newer with so much space and not spend a fortune.”

  They drove in relative silence again for the rest of the trip, Maddie occasionally mentioning a point of interest—her former house, her high school again, a nice bar she recommended. Their companionship was easy again, comfortable. That moment they’d had seemed behind them for good.

  Still, she occasionally thought of that look in Maddie’s eyes, yesterday and earlier today—that dark hunger—and her heartbeat would pick up again. That was her own problem, however, and she’d get over it. Best to keep things completely innocent between them, and that started with her thoughts. She suddenly thought of Sunday school. Sister Margaret had told her something very similar once when she’d been caught kissing the other altar girl, something about pure thoughts leading to pure actions. She wasn’t a believer by any means, but it was still good advice.

  The party-rental business was housed in an enormous warehouse on the outskirts of town. Maddie drove into the lot and parked with a couple of minutes to spare. She pulled out a little sheet of paper from her coat pocket.

  “Okay,” she said. “Here are all the things we need to get.”

  “Do we have a guest count?” Ryann asked, scanning the list. They’d need numbers for all of this, especially this late.

  “Jai and Stuart promised they’d keep it on the smaller side—seventy or eighty.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, right. Let’s plan for an even hundred. I can always pay them back for extras, but better to be safe than sorry.”

  Maddie laughed, too. “Exactly what I was thinking.”

  They climbed out of the Bronco and went inside, Maddie’s phone ringing almost the moment they were in the door. Maddie excused herself when she saw the name, disappearing outside again, and Ryann explained to the woman at the front desk that they had an appointment.

  Like Joan’s bakery, the reception area here was small—the rest of the warehouse and equipment behind walls and a closed door.

  The woman indicated the fabric swatches and large plastic binders on the table, giving her an ordering sheet before leaving her there alone. As she was sitting down, taking off her coat, Maddie came back inside.

  “Sorry about that. It was Erin—the brewer you met? Something came up on Monday, so she had to move the wine-and-cocktail tasting to today. I hope that’s okay. We’ll head over right after this.”

  “No problem. This rental place seems pretty straightforward. It’s up to us what to pick, basically, and then we fill in this form. The woman that works here left me here alone.”

  Maddie rolled her eyes. “Nice customer service. Oh, well—can’t expect people to leap over themselves during the busy season, I guess. We’re actually really lucky they had an opening. I called all over the place, and this was the last one within an hour’s drive.”

  “I thought everyone said it wouldn’t be a problem booking things. That this ‘isn’t New York.’” She made air quotes.