“You don’t ever have to apologize for kissing me.”

  That made him feel better, but he still had a million questions. Unfortunately, he knew this wasn’t the place to ask them. Sage and Gabby approached them. The women hugged, and he listened with half an ear as they discussed Sage’s wedding plans.

  “Thank you so much for coming,” Sage said. “I’m so glad you’re still going to be able to make the cake.”

  “Cake?” Rush asked, hoping this could give him some insight into Taylor’s plans. “What cake?”

  “It’s technically not a cake,” Sage said. “It’s a cupcake tower. For the wedding.”

  “You’re going to be here for the wedding?” Rush realized he must have sounded more surprised than excited when Taylor’s smile slipped as she glanced at her new friends.

  “Uh, I’d like to be. Unless that’s a problem?”

  “Of course it’s not a problem,” Sage said, subtly elbowing her future brother-in-law in the ribs. “Our wedding day wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t here to share it with us.”

  “That’s sweet of you to say,” Taylor said, blushing. “But you and Wes have waited your whole lives to make this official. I have a feeling you won’t even notice who is or isn’t there.”

  “That’s not true,” Sage argued, reaching for Taylor’s hands. “Friends and family mean everything to us. You’re our friend. Rush is family. You guys have to be there.”

  Since Rush had already agreed to be his brother’s best man, there was no question he would be there, but he was relieved to hear Taylor would be too. “Uh, you mind if we slip inside for a few minutes?” Rush asked Sage. “I’d like to talk to Taylor alone.”

  “Of course,” Sage said, smiling. “Take all the time you need. You can use our room if you like. There might be people wandering in and out of the kitchen on their way to the powder room.”

  “Thanks.” Rush took Taylor’s hand. When they were far enough away from the crowd to avoid being overheard, he said, “Sorry, I hope you don’t think I was being rude. I just couldn’t wait another second to get you alone.”

  “Is that so?” she asked, leaning into him as she wrapped her arm around his. “What have you got planned for me?”

  Her mood seemed light and playful now that they were alone, but Rush wouldn’t be able to exhale until he heard her say she was staying with him… where she belonged.

  After slipping into Sage and Wes’s bedroom, he closed the door and window, shutting out the noise from below. “Okay, so tell me what’s going on with you?” He sounded harsh, but his nerves were shot. He had to know, once and for all, where they stood.

  Looking amused, she sat on the white upholstered bench at the end of the king-size bed. “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything.” He paced by the window. “I want to know what you’re thinking, what you’ve decided, whether you plan to stay in Brock or come back here or—”

  “Rush,” she said gently, “let me tell you about what’s been happening with me the past few weeks.”

  ***

  It was obvious to Taylor how much her indecision had hurt Rush, and that was the last thing she’d ever wanted to do. The separation was necessary for her to make sense of her feelings for him though.

  “Okay,” he said, sitting on the arm of a chair in the bedroom’s sitting area. “I’m listening. Tell me. What’s been happening with you?”

  “Well, you know I sold the house.”

  He nodded, swallowing repeatedly as he waited for her to continue.

  “I didn’t just pack up everything we owned,” she said, thinking back to the time she’d spent in the house, reliving every memory attached to the things they’d collected as a family. “I cataloged it.” She tapped her finger against her temple. “Right here.”

  He curled his hands around the arm of the chair he leaned on, looking as tightly wound as she’d ever seen him. She was used to casual, fun-loving, relaxed Rush, but he was nowhere to be seen today.

  “I took pictures of things we loved so I can make a scrapbook. I realized I don’t have to hold on to every single thing in order to hold on to the people I loved.”

  “That makes sense,” he whispered then cleared his throat. “A scrapbook sounds like a great idea.”

  “I sold the furniture with the house. The couple who bought it are newlyweds and didn’t have a stick of furniture between them, since they’ve both been living with their parents.”

  “Saved you from having to decide what to do with it, I guess.” He was clearly trying to decide what her decision to sell the house furnished, instead of keeping remnants of her old life, meant.

  “It did.” She smiled, rubbing the now-bare finger of her left hand. “I’m really glad those kids bought the house actually. They’re so young, so excited about their future. I just know that house is going to be filled with love and laughter and lots of screaming babies, just like it should be.”

  His eyes were still trained on her finger when he said, “You took your wedding ring off. When? Why?”

  “I’ll get to that.” She still had so much more of her story to tell him before she got to the part where she let go of her late husband. “I wrestled with my options after the house was gone. I kept one box of things. I donated the kids’ clothes and toys, which really was the hardest part for me.”

  He grimaced. “God, I can’t even imagine.”

  She’d never thought she would be strong enough to do that. She thought she’d have to hold on to that house forever simply because she couldn’t bear to part with their things. But the promise of a future that was brighter than the last year had kept pushing her forward.

  “The kids who get their things will appreciate them, I’m sure. As for me, I kept the things that mattered most. The photos, christening gowns, drawings, a favorite stuffed animal, toy truck…” She closed her eyes as a fresh wave of pain washed over her.

  “Baby, don’t,” Rush said, crossing the room. He knelt in front of her, resting his palm against her cheek. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, I do.” She needed him to know what she’d gone through so he would understand there was no going back for her. “I brought that one box with me because it’s the only thing I’ll need from Brock.”

  “You brought it with you?” he asked, looking as though he was holding his breath. “Does that mean…?”

  She touched his face, feeling the stubble on his cheek and remembering how delicious it felt brushing against her skin when he kissed her. “I went to look at a condo in Brock.”

  “And…?”

  “It was perfect for me. Just the right size—not too big, not too small. It had an underground parking space and was close to my job and shopping—”

  “Your job. Does that mean you’re going back to teaching in the fall?”

  “I told you I met with my old boss. She invited me to lunch to make sure that I knew how much they wanted me back.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Rush said, lowering his head as he curled his hands around her thighs.

  “The decision to leave wasn’t easy.” She bit her lip when his gaze collided with hers. “But leaving you would have been impossible.”

  He released a shaky breath, dropping his forehead to her thighs. “Then you’re not leaving me? You’re coming back here? To be with me?”

  She cradled his gorgeous face, tipping his head up until his eyes met and held hers. “Being back in Brock reminded me where I belong. That was my past. You’re my future.”

  “God, I love you,” he whispered, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her slowly, as though they had all the time in the world to express their love to each other.

  “I love you too.” When he sat back on his haunches, she said, “You asked about my ring.”

  “Yeah. I hope you didn’t take it off because of me. You know I’d never rush you to—”

  She pressed her index finger against his lips with a smile. “I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me. I went to Trevor’s grave. Of course that’s where the kids are buried too. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to go before.”

  “I hope you weren’t alone,” he said, frowning. “Did your parents go with you?”

  “They wanted to, but I wouldn’t let them. I needed to do it alone.” She thought of the things she’d said to her family that day, the story she’d told them of the life she was building, the man she’d met who’d found a way to make her smile again, in spite of the odds. “I told them about you.”

  “You did?”

  She nodded. “I told them how much I loved them, that I would always, always love them.”

  “I bet you were an amazing mom, Tay.”

  “I like to think so.” She sat up a little straighter. “And I’d like to think I will be again someday.”

  His eyes softened. An obvious sheen covered his baby blues when he said, “I know you will.”

  “I met with Trevor’s parents too. It may seem strange, but I wanted them to know that just because I was moving on with someone else, that didn’t minimize in any way what I’d had with their son.”

  “And how did they react?”

  “They told me they loved me.” She felt the sting of tears as she remembered their warm embraces and heartfelt words. “That Trevor had too, and he’d only want the very best for me. They said that I know better than most people that there’s no promise of tomorrow, so we have to seize today.”

  “Does that still scare you, the fact that I can’t promise you tomorrow?” Before she could respond, he said, “You know I would if I could. But I’m sure Trevor would have too.”

  “He would have.”

  “I can promise you I’ll love you as long as I live. Is that enough?”

  “That’s more than enough,” she said, rubbing her thumb against his bristled cheek. “It’s everything.”

  “Tell me more about your plans. Now that you’re officially living here…” He bit his lip, looking concerned. “Uh, that is what you’re saying, isn’t it? I didn’t misunderstand?”

  She laughed at how adorably uncertain he looked. She knew that was foreign to him. He was usually the guy who had it all together, who knew what he wanted and how he was going to get it. “You didn’t misunderstand. You can count me among Vista Falls’s newest residents.”

  He grinned and released a dramatic sigh of relief. “Awesome. So does that mean you’ll want to start looking for a place? If you’d like to stay on at the inn, you’re more than welcome.”

  “I would like to stay on at the inn,” she said, resting her hands on his shoulders. “And I thought of a way for me to do what I love and help you too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you said you wanted a partner. Someone to help you run the inn.”

  “God, Tay, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I expected you to give up your passion to help me with mine.” He shook his head. “That’s not what I want at all. I mean, I want you with me, of course. But not if it means you have to give up any more. I already feel like I’ve asked you to give up too much… leaving Brock, your family, friends—”

  “Leaving Brock was the right thing to do,” she insisted, feeling more certain of that than she ever had. “Living there, surrounded by all the bittersweet memories, would have made it harder for me to move on. Vista Falls is a clean slate, a beautiful new phase of my life, and I’m really excited about it.”

  “I’m excited too.” He smiled, bringing her hand to his lips. “God, the thought of having you with me every day makes me so damn happy.”

  “About that…” She felt she’d come up with a plan that would make her happy, but Rush still had to agree. “You said Dana wants to retire, right?”

  “Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean I expect you to step in and fill her shoes, babe. I know how much teaching means to you.”

  “Working with kids is important to me. But there may be a way I can do both.”

  “Dana’s not in any big hurry to leave. She said she could stick around as long as it takes for me to find someone to replace her.”

  Taylor raised an eyebrow, certain she already knew the answer to her question. “And have you been trying to find her replacement?”

  “Well, no,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “But it’s not easy. When I think about everything Dana does around there…” He sighed. “If I wrote an ad outlining everything I was looking for, I wouldn’t get any responses. I couldn’t pay enough!”

  She laughed at his exasperation. She would work alongside Rush for free just to have the chance to spend every day with him. “Maybe Dana could cut back to part-time? She could train me and—”

  “Wait a minute.” Rush rolled back on his heels, shaking his head. “Hold up. You’re a teacher, Tay. That’s what you should be doing.”

  “Maybe I could do both?”

  Before she’d returned to Brock, she made a call to find out whether Vista Falls needed any substitute teachers. Even though most of the administrators were on summer break, Helen had been able to put Taylor in touch with the powers-that-be at the local elementary school. As luck would have it, they were in desperate need of substitute teachers. She sent her resume and, within hours, got a response asking her to come in for a meeting as soon as she returned to town, which they assured her was just a formality.

  “How would that work?”

  “Well, I could be a substitute teacher and work part-time at the inn.” To her, it seemed like the perfect solution.

  Rush didn’t seem convinced. “That wouldn’t be the same as having your own classroom, your own students.”

  “No, but it would allow me to try teaching different grades, something I’ve never had a chance to do. Teaching older kids could be a fun challenge. And the nice thing about substitute teaching is that I wouldn’t be obligated to go in every time they called. They have other teachers on the list, so if one isn’t available, they just move on to the next.”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Rush asked, looking torn. “It’s not up to you to fix my problems, Tay. It won’t be easy, but I’m sure I could find someone to replace Dana eventually.”

  “You said that you wanted a partner, right? Someone who could help you run the inn, who would be there by your side, helping you grow the business?”

  “Well, yeah, but—”

  “I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself…” She couldn’t even believe what she was about to say, but she’d learned the hard way that keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself was a recipe for disaster.

  “Say it. Whatever you’re thinking,” he said, holding her hand. “Just tell me.”

  “Well, I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I even considered the possibility of homeschooling my kids, the way my mom did, but that wasn’t an option for us. We needed two incomes, and I was happy to contribute.”

  “But?”

  “But it would have been awesome to be able to stay home with them.” She hated to think, now that they were gone, all of the precious moments she’d missed out on, moments she would never get back.

  “So when we have a baby,” he said, grinning, “you want to be a stay-at-home mom? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Well, I know it sounds like I want it all, which may be impossible, but working at the inn would allow me to work and be a mom, maybe even homeschool.” She felt a blush creep up her cheeks as soon as the words left her mouth. “God, I can’t even believe we’re talking about this. It’s way too soon. We just started dating.”

  “I am going to marry you. That’s a fact.” When she covered her face with her hands and stomped her feet in excitement, he chuckled. “I’m serious. I don’t know if it’ll be a year from now, two years from now. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’re the woman I want to spend my life with. I want you to be my wife, the mother of my children.”

  “I want that too.” When she said it without feeling as though she’d just been gutted, she knew it was true.

  “Good. So the rest? We’ll work that out. Whatever you want, I’ll find a way to make it happen.”

  She sank to her knees, looking intently into his eyes as she whispered, “I love you.”

  “You.” He punctuated each word with a kiss. “Are. It. For. Me.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lying in bed with Rush one short week after her return to Vista Falls, Taylor whispered, “Pinch me.”

  He chuckled, running a hand down her bare back. “Why would I want to do that? I’d much rather tickle you.” His fingertips danced down her ribcage, making her squirm in an attempt to ward off his attack.

  “I keep thinking this is a dream I’m going to wake up from, like it’s too good to be true,” she said, planting her hand on his chest as she looked up at him.

  “I feel the same way,” he said, brushing his lips against her temple.

  “I used to wake up crying and praying that it was a nightmare, and I’d wake up to find my kids snuggled up with me.” She swallowed the pain and grief that still caught her off guard sometimes.

  He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her close.

  “I didn’t think anything or anyone could ever make it better. I thought I had to go on feeling that way for the rest of my life.”

  He looked down at her, brushing the hair off her forehead. “In case I haven’t told you recently, I’m in awe of you. I don’t know many women who could have survived what you did.”

  While she appreciated having Rush’s respect and admiration, she knew he was a big part of the reason she’d become so strong. His love gave her the determination and will to get through another day without her kids. “Sometimes I think about where I would have ended up if our paths hadn’t crossed.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “I was lost,” she said, thinking about all the tears she’d shed while driving between Brock and Vista Falls. “Heartbroken. Scared and confused and trying to run away from the truth.” She sighed, rolling onto her back. “I don’t know why I thought I could run from it, but I did. I thought if I just got far enough away from Brock and all the people who knew my story, I’d find a way to be okay.”