“Momma,” she exclaimed. “You gave me a fright. I didn’t expect anyone in here.”

  “Uhm. Yes.” Charlotte smoothed down her hair then pulled the neck of her robe closer together. “I was just ….” She smiled at Tess. “I was just coming to make a cup of tea. Would you like one?” she asked, pointing to the stove.

  “Why don’t I make you a cup of tea. I’ll bring it in the sitting room.”

  Charlotte stood there a moment, looking at her daughter. When did she become the parent?

  She knew exactly when. When Charlotte was so in the throws of her laudanum that Tess had to become the parent and take care of her.

  Charlotte patted Tess on the shoulder. “I’ll go get changed. I’ll be back down in a few, and perhaps we can have a chat?”

  Tess looked at her mother. “That would be lovely, Momma.” She hesitated one second and then threw her arms around Charlotte’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. She whispered, “I love you, Momma,” into Charlotte’s ear.

  It reminded Charlotte of when Tess was a young girl and would do the same thing. She hugged her tight before releasing her. She took a deep sniff, begging the tears not to fall.

  “I love you more,” Charlotte said and headed back towards her bedroom.

  She took her jewelry box off the dresser and sat down on her bed. She removed all the jewelry and felt at the edges for the ribbon which would reveal the secret compartment.

  Harris had bought it for her in Boston, to hide her most precious valuables as they travelled west. She could place trinkets on the top and if anyone looked inside, they wouldn’t be any wiser of what laid in the bottom of the box.

  Charlotte removed the felt floor and gazed at the contents therein.

  She picked up a lock of blonde hair and rubbed it between her fingers. She remembered when Milam gave three-year old Tess a haircut. This lock of hair was saved from that day.

  She lifted out the wedding picture of her and Harris. She was so young. The woman looking back at her in the lithograph had no ideas what life held for her. Next to the picture was her wedding ring. She took it off after the earthquake. It had been over a year of mourning when she finally removed it.

  There were also various earrings and brooches made with precious stones. Pearls from the orient.

  She placed the items back inside the compartment and added the glass bottle to the collection. Saying a silent prayer to God for the strength to resist, she returned the felt floor to the box and placed her jewelry back on top of it.

  She knew she couldn’t tell anyone about her secret. She had worked so hard. The bottle would be there to remind her how strong she actually was.

  She returned the box to her dresser and quickly changed into a plain skirt and a white blouse. She pinned her watch in place and headed downstairs to see Tess.

  Tess was already in the sitting room with a tray of tea and several cups. “I found some cookies Milam made. I thought it would be a nice treat.”

  “Those are good. Oatmeal cookies, I think.” Charlotte looked around the room. “Where are the babies?”

  “Dawson took them to their room for a nap.”

  “Oh.” Charlotte sat down and watched Tess pour the tea before handing her a cup. “Where did you go this morning?”

  “It was such a beautiful day, we took the babies for a walk in the perambulator.” Charlotte had Dawson purchase it from one of the cargo ships on a trip to New Harbor.

  “Is that wise?” Charlotte asked, blowing on her tea. She dropped a spot of milk in it and watched the liquid turn a creamy color.

  “Hattie said as long as they are bundled up, there isn’t any reason they can’t go outside for a walk. She said the sunshine would do them good.”

  Charlotte couldn’t look at her tea anymore. The milk swirling through the dark liquid was making her feel ill. She put the cup aside.

  “What’s wrong, Momma. Is there something wrong with your tea?”

  Charlotte took out her handkerchief and dabbed her lips. She could image the taste of the drug on them and she wanted it gone. She wasn’t that person anymore. When the feeling subsided, she looked at her daughter. “I’m fine. Just had a moment.”

  “Do we need to call for the doctor?”

  Charlotte shook her head. “No. Honestly, I’m fine. I wanted to talk to you about the land you are purchasing, Hattie’s herbs and the medical office.”

  Tess looked startled. “Alright.” She set her tea down. “This sounds important.” Charlotte nodded and reached into the drawer pulling out her notebook and pencil.

  Then she told Tess her plan.

  Chapter 7

  Will hadn’t seen Charlotte since the dinner Tuesday evening. That was three days ago. He sat in the back of the coffin maker’s studio carving a piece of wood. He was almost done with the design and he prayed that Charlotte liked it.

  He ran into Dr. Tory and asked her about the Potassium Bromide. She confirmed that it was indeed given to patients to help them sleep. But she stressed it was a short-term solution and shouldn’t be relied on. Will took note and made a promise to himself to make sure Charlotte was getting the rest she needed without the pills.

  It was easier said than done, however, given the fact that he had been turned away every time he stopped by the house. He didn’t know what he had done to make Charlotte so upset with him. He rubbed his chest bone, trying to make the pain dissipate.

  The last time he felt like this he was looking for his next laudanum fix. Could it be that he simply changed one addiction for another?

  He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He loved Charlotte, he didn’t want anything to harm her. He didn’t think he had an unhealthy attachment to her. He was just disappointed he couldn’t see her.

  It would have been easier if she came right out and said she didn’t want anything to do with him, rather than have Milam deliver the message in terms of Charlotte being perpetually busy.

  He recalled after the funeral they garnered some stares from several of the folks in town. It was the first time they had appeared together at an event, albeit a funeral, and he heard the whispers of people noticing their age difference. Perhaps he had been bold to hold her hand through the service, but he was providing comfort to the woman he loved.

  After the service she made her excuses and returned to Odessa Gale’s house to spend the afternoon. He was hurt, but understood she needed to be with her friend. He wondered if Mrs. Gale said something about the age difference.

  He had just finished carving the bible verse at the base of the sculpture when he heard the door to the undertaker’s office open. Will started locking the door to the lean-to, so he would only have to worry about people entering from one direction.

  “Will?” He recognized Charlotte’s voice and his heart leapt in his chest. “Are you back here?”

  “In the back.” He placed the finished carving on the workbench and started picking up his carving tools, placing them in a drawer.

  The undertaker’s office, Will thought, was laid out uniquely. There was the front office that had a door, which led to a large supply closet. The supply closet had a door, which led to the coffin maker’s studio.

  Someone would have to go through the closet in order to get into the back room from the front. It didn’t make sense to him, but he was sure it made sense to somebody.

  Charlotte entered the back room and walked over to Will. She had a look that he couldn’t describe. She wouldn’t look directly at him, instead, choosing to rock on her heels and stare at the floor. He could see she was biting the inside of her lip. Will was worried.

  “Are you alright? Did something happen?” He put his hands on her arms, stilling the rocking motion. She still didn’t meet his gaze, so he gently lifted her chin and brushed the hair out of her eyes.

  She appeared on the verge of tears. Her eyes filled with water and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

  “Sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong. Did something happen to the babies?”

  Charlotte shook her head. “I think I’m a little overwhelmed.”

  “Well then come inside and let’s talk about it.”

  He led Charlotte to the overstuffed chair and gently sat her down in it. “Do you want something to drink? I don’t have much, but I do have some water.”

  Charlotte nodded. “Yes, please. That would be wonderful.” Will disappeared into the closet and returned with a glass and his canteen. He filled it daily from the spigot out back. He poured the cool water into the glass and handed it to Charlotte.

  She took two sips and drained the glass before handing it back to him. Will placed the empty glass next to where he was leaning against the countertop.

  “Feel better?”

  “Yes. A little.”

  “Care to tell me what’s going on? I’ve been out of my mind worrying about you.”

  “I know. And I’m so sorry. Milam told me last night that my behavior was inexcusable.”

  “That is what Milam thinks. What do you think?”

  “I think I was scared.” Will raised an eyebrow. “I was definitely biting off more than I could chew.”

  “In what way?”

  “I talked to Tess today and then we went to visit with Hattie.”

  “About?”

  “I went to see the damage at the café this week. It is going to take a while for Lily Jo to get the insurance claim.” Will didn’t know where she was going with this, so he thought he should remain silent until she finished. “There was so much damage that I decided not to buy the café.”

  Will was surprised. He vaguely remembered her mentioning something about it, but he didn’t recall the details. “You were buying the café?” Will asked.

  “Didn’t you hear anything I said the other night?”

  “I remember you mentioning something about the café, but I don’t recall you saying you were going to buy it.”

  “Well I’m not.”

  Will rubbed his hand down his face. He didn’t want his frustration to come through, as he knew whatever Charlotte was getting around to telling him was important. He just wished she would hurry up the story a bit.

  “I’ve decided to open a tea shop instead.”

  Will couldn’t have been any more surprised if she told him she was going to take off on one of those merchant ships down at New Harbor. “A tea shop? But Charlotte, you already have two businesses.”

  “I do?”

  “Yes. Ownership of the undertaker’s studio and the workshop behind here.”

  “But those were Harris’s. I want something of my own. Besides, what would I do with an undertaker’s studio? It sat empty for nearly two years. I should have just sold it when I had the chance.”

  “What are you worried about, Charlotte? Money? You have plenty of that.”

  “Not anymore. I’m worried about not having something to leave Tess and the babies. I’m worried about dying in that big house all alone. I’m worried that my life doesn’t mean anything.” She let out a small sniffle. “I’m worried about so many things.” She didn’t want to tell him about the bottle she found.

  Will sat on the arm of the chair and took Charlotte in his arms. “Your life means something. What ever gave you the idea that it doesn’t.”

  Charlotte pulled her handkerchief out and wiped her nose. “Well Mr. Richards thinks I should get married. It is the only way to get a loan.”

  “Let’s start at the beginning, because I’m afraid you lost me.” Charlotte looked at him. “You thought about buying the café… because?”

  “So, I could be independent, Milam could have employment, and we could contribute to the town.”

  “Okay, that makes sense. So, you went to look at the café, but the damage was too much.”

  “Yes.”

  “So, you came up with an idea to open a tea shop instead?”

  “Yes. Actually, Odessa came up with the idea. And I spent two days plotting everything out so I could go and meet with the banker.”

  “For a loan?” Charlotte nodded. “What did he say?”

  “He suggested I get married and have someone manage my finances since I had that Shippenbottom person steal nearly every penny I have.”

  “You mentioned he took quite a bit from you. But you are saying that he took everything?”

  “Everything. Dawson was able to get part of it back, but it isn’t nearly enough to open a shop.”

  “Hmmm. Is there a way you can do this without taking a loan?”

  “I just talked to Hattie. Dr. Richards and Dr. Tory were hoping to create a larger clinic since the town is growing, so she said I could have the medical office once they decide where they are moving to. It would also be closer to the apothecary so I can get some of Hattie’s herbal teas.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “The problem is I figured out my expenses and we are still a bit short to build the business properly.”

  “Well, do you want to?”

  “I want everything to easily fall in place.”

  Will laughed. “Don’t we all.”

  “Nothing ever seems to bother you, Will. Don’t you ever just get so frustrated you want to scream?”

  “Of course, I do Charlotte, but I realize I can’t. If I let those emotions get the better of me then I might find something to make me feel better.”

  “Like laudanum?”

  “Yes. Like that. I vowed I would never use laudanum again.”

  “Don’t you ever think about it, though?”

  “Every day. Every minute. It is constantly on my mind. But there are people that are counting on me to do a job. I help Ian MacGregor at the mine during the day and in the evenings, I build caskets for people to bury their loved ones. I can’t let them down. I can’t let you down.”

  “Is that what I am to you, Will? A job?”

  “Of course not. You are more precious to me than you will ever know. I’m talking about the day to day toils. Of course, things are frustrating. Do you think I like sleeping in the back of the undertaker’s studio?” Charlotte shook her head. “But it allows me to save money until I can purchase a small piece of land. I get to work with people going through major loss and if I can find a way to make their suffering that much less, I will.”

  “What do you want to do, Will?”

  Will scratched his chin. “I don’t know. I’ve always done odd jobs since I got out of the Navy. I’ve never been rich, but I’ve always managed.”

  “Apart from when you were recovering.”

  “Yes,” Will said somberly. “Apart from that. During that time, I didn’t know how I was going to survive. But I did.”

  “Some days I think I have great plans for my future. Then other days I think things can’t get any worse.”

  “Sometimes you need to be at rock bottom, Charlotte, before you can go up.”

  “That is ridiculous. I’ve already hit bottom and I don’t think I’m going anywhere.” She looked around the room. “Maybe I should sell this. I didn’t sell it because it was my last link to Harris.

  “But you can’t live in the past. He isn’t coming back, and you need to move forward with your life. Maybe I can purchase the business from you?”

  “You would want to do that?”

  “Why not? The town needs an undertaker. I’m filling the spot right now. Why not make it permanent?” Will didn’t know how much an undertaker’s office would go for, but he could always make some inquiries.

  Charlotte nodded. “That makes sense. You can use the studio for as long as you wish.”

  “I think you should do it.”

  “Sell the studio?”

  “Not that.”

  Charlotte looked annoyed. She flipped her hair and stared at Will. “Will, I don’t know what you are talking about now. Do what?”

  “Get married?”

  Charlotte waved her hand. “I’m too old to be married again. Besides, who in the blazes would I get married to?”

  Will stood up and dropped on one knee in front of Charlotte. He took her hand and gave it a gentle kiss. “Marry me, Charlotte. We are good together. I asked you at the picnic, and I’m asking again. Will you be my wife?”

  Charlotte looked at him for a moment. “What would people say? You saw them stare at us at the funeral.”

  “Honestly, Charlotte, I’ve cared too much about what people said in the past. The only person I care about pleasing are my Lord and you. Once you stop caring what other people think imagine how much freedom you will find.”

  “You deserve a wife that can give you children. I can’t do that.”

  “Charlotte, as long as I have a strong woman by my side, I don’t need children of my own.”

  “Would it be a traditional marriage?”

  Will was a little surprised by her question. “Well I hoped it would be.”

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

  “Well then we will wait until you are.”

  “But I don’t love you.” Pain flashed across Will’s face. Charlotte put her hand on his arm. “That came out wrong. I care for you a great deal. But I’ve never thought about a romantic love.”

  “Perhaps we will grow to love each other.”

  “But if not…”

  “Then you know you will always be safe with me.”

  “Would you still want to buy the studio?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then, yes. I will marry you, Will.” Will let out a whoop and pulled Charlotte up from the chair and into his arms.

  He kissed her. He didn’t want to break the kiss, but as he pulled away, her arms slipped around his neck and she pressed herself against him.

  He savored the feel of her warmth against him, but he knew that if he didn’t stop, he wouldn’t be able to. He held her for one more second and then released her. Her big blue eyes had softened, and her face looked relaxed.

  If his kisses did that, he’d kiss her all the time just to keep her in a perpetual state of bliss.

  “I don’t think we should wait,” Charlotte said.

  “I agree. I’ll go see Pastor James in the morning.”