He snorted.

  “So, the ruler of sixteen planets, and my counselor.”

  Aria giggled, “Yes, it is one of my specialties you know, and one I don’t get to use all that often anymore. Mind magic and psychology, and while laying here in bed and talking all day between bouts of hot sex sounds really good, we both have other things to get to.”

  He got off of her reluctantly, but it wasn’t quite time to part yet, as she led him into the bathroom. The shower took a little longer than expected, as she’d taken care of him with her mouth, and he’d returned the favor happily and felt a lot more balanced and more himself again, after feeling her tremble on his tongue and scream out into the steamy shower.

  Perhaps it was shallow, but that intimacy, and seeing her joyful abandon on her knees as she gave him mind-bending pleasure with her mouth, had finished off the resentment he’d felt. Maybe she could help him, and chances were he’d never see her again anyway. She was right about one thing, it would take another celestial to safely help him through that minefield, and the idea of showing weakness of any kind to his equals back home was… anathema.

  He just had no idea how he’d ever forgive himself, for being such a worthless coward.

  He had no idea what the other thing was. He’d never examined why he’d never been able to say no to a beautiful woman, and he’d always been generous in bed and rocked their worlds. He supposed tomorrow was soon enough to find out, as he took his leave and returned to the others. He just couldn’t imagine at all how it was connected to that dark rage that lived in his chest. A rage which he now knew was a potent mix of self-derision and fury at himself.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next week not all that much of note happened, as he and Aria waited for the king’s response. He’d no idea whether or not it would be a yes, a no, or a yes with a slight change for her approval. He knew the king wanted peace, and it seemed the best way to get it was to give Aria what she wanted while also getting a little extra themselves. It was what it was, and he had no guesses which way it would go. The king was privy to a lot more information about the state of the kingdom, he was just an agent with a partial picture, so who knew how that would inform things.

  Regardless, that gave him time to do a few tourist things, and to see more than just the temple. It also gave him a whole lot of time for pleasing Aria in the mornings, and making Leanne and Riesa scream his name often throughout the rest of the day and night. Really, waiting for the treaty was almost like a non-stop vacation of wild sex with three women. Something that was not typical of him in the past, usually it was one affair at a time.

  Or it would’ve been, if it wasn’t for Aria’s desire to make him face and get through the pain and rage. Almost every morning she demanded he let it out, stop bottling it up, and with another celestial it felt almost safe to do so. At least one round of angry sex took place on those morning liaisons. A part of him was amused by the idea that maybe she just liked rough angry sex, but he knew in his heart that was just one of the beneficial side effects, and it really was about her wanting to help him heal.

  She’d also told him what he wanted to know, as promised, and he could remember the words she’d used clearly, though he was shocked and loath to believe it at first.

  “Dacen, it is the only way for you to connect. Your heart is closed off behind a wall of rage, but you long for love, for a connection with others, for more. Even though you don’t think you deserve it. You can’t love another, so you connect to others by seducing as many women as will let you into their bed. That’s why it’s not shallow to you at all, these brief and hot affairs, and not just about a notch on the bedpost. It’s also why you haven’t lost to the rage inside, and how you were holding it together. As for just a moment, when you look into a woman’s eyes as she comes apart for you, you connect. I suspect once you work through the rage, forgive yourself, and find love, you won’t be sleeping around nearly as much. You will find deeper connections, ones of permanency and love. Which is what you truly want, but don’t think you deserve.”

  He’d asked, “How can you possibly know that?”

  She’d replied, “Because it’s not shallow fun to you. Most men who are players, and go for every beautiful woman in sight, are selfish assholes who are doing it only for the thrill of seducing a woman and the physical pleasure they can get from it. A simple power trip, to trick women into their bed.

  “A player is something you are not, as I’ve said before, you’re one of the most generous men in bed I know, and you getting your own rocks off is the absolutely last priority you hold. It just fits, it all fits together, and it’s because you can’t love but need to connect. You have a surprisingly empathetic and generous soul, and I’m actually a little jealous of Leanne, once you come to recognize how amazing you really are and learn to love yourself.”

  He’d snorted at the time, but he couldn’t come up with a cogent argument, nor could he come up with another explanation at all. Why it wasn’t shallow to him, those short and wild trysts that never really could or would go anywhere.

  By the end of the week, he was reluctantly convinced she was right, but as she’d said knowing and acknowledging the problem was step one. It didn’t magically fix it at all, though he did have confidence he wouldn’t go crazy with his magic if he let out that rage at times and exhausted it.

  Daisy hadn’t lied to him, if he’d not controlled his emotions while learning and mastering his magic bad things would’ve happened, he could’ve killed someone in a moment of pique. But he’d mastered his magic years ago, and those controls were so solid even while lost in rage and seeing red his magic had stayed locked down.

  His current approach with Aria would almost work perfectly with Leanne’s kink in fact, now that he was sure his magic wouldn’t get out of hand, he could vent those feelings in a real way during their roleplay. When he took her without regard and a little painfully, to get her off hard and prime her for cumming hard while making love or even just normal rough sex. After all, he’d lose his bedtime and counseling partner soon, and it’d take much longer than a week to learn to forgive himself. So he’d need an outlet for his frustrations, that wouldn’t truly harm anyone.

  Hell, in that moment, he couldn’t even imagine forgiving himself yet, much less actually doing it. He didn’t deserve it, and he didn’t deserve to be loved.

  Unconventional therapy perhaps, as well as him introspectively working through the pain, but it was what he was doing now so it made sense to keep up with it.

  He’d also asked, “So, does that mean our tryst is shallow to you? Since you’ve essentially said that me not thinking it is, is just aberrant mental behavior and using sex as an emotional crutch for connecting to others.”

  He’d been a little embarrassed at the time asking, because inside he was more than a little disappointed and worried by that idea. He didn’t want to just be a nice big cock she was getting off on, just an empty release with a man that was safe and not one of her subjects. Especially because he thought she enjoyed his company, and they were becoming friends of sorts.

  She’d giggled at the time, “A little bit, but not entirely. I’ve been alone so long I’ve forgotten what it was to connect to a lover. You’re not the only one a little messed up in the head, you know, and both of our lives have been filled with potently mind-numbing challenges. At first, it was totally about getting laid for the first time in forever, and with a man that was incredibly handsome and had a reputation as a god in bed with a perfectly sized cock. But after this last week spending my early mornings with you, I have to say I will be sorry to see you go. You’re a good man, Dacen Black. In another life, I’d have let you chase me until I caught you.”

  He couldn’t see that last, she was the good one. A prelate and politician perhaps, with more than a little ruthlessness to fulfill her ambition, but she was also a woman of deep faith, a woman who loved and served her goddess, and a woman with compassion to help him as she had been doing. A woman that had more than her fair share of empathy and compassion as well.

  He was going to miss her too, and her being a goddess in bed was the smallest part of that.

  It was later in the evening, and they’d just returned from dinner. He was sitting on the couch with his head back relaxing, Leanne was snuggled up into his side, and Riesa was splayed at his feet with her head against his knee and arm wrapped around his leg. They were just relaxing and chatting in the moment, when Daisy interrupted.

  Daisy said, “I’ve gotten a message from the king.”

  “What’s it say?”

  Daisy replied, “He’s agreed to the stipulations, and he’s dispatched a small diplomatic courier with two physical signed copies. You’re to remain here for another three days, to witness the signing of both, and then you’ll hand carry our copy back to the king on your return.”

  He lifted his head, “He’s letting me back on Bright Star?”

  Daisy snickered, “Yes. You were never banished, you know.”

  Maybe not, but he’d been kept away and on far off missions for quite a few months. He didn’t think the king would be mad forever, but he thought a few months far too short a time for the king’s anger over him deflowering and defiling the king’s daughter in the bedchamber to have passed.

  The truth was he hadn’t just been caught fucking her in her receiving room, he’d been caught pounding that petitely small and perfectly formed bubbled ass, while the princess was pinned down over the couch arm. As he recalled, the princess was loudly and lewdly encouraging him to pound her tight innocent ass harder to make her his sexy little royal ass-slut, as the shocked servant had opened the door.

  He pushed it out of his mind. It didn’t matter.

  “Alright, I’ll let the prelate know, unless Leanne beats me to it.”

  Leanne gasped in partially mock indignation, and then gave him a sexy pout.

  He chuckled, and claimed a rather warm and lingering kiss, then leaned forward far enough to bring up the console interface. It didn’t take him long to give Aria the news in a message. He also felt his stomach drop a bit, since it was likely he’d be leaving in three more days. Ten days had been about the most they could’ve hoped for, but he really didn’t want to give up their morning trysts together.

  Even worse, three days after that he’d be losing Riesa too, but at least he’d have Leanne at his side and as a permanent member of his team and a servant to his house as a knight. The king’s approval guaranteed that, Leanne would be swearing her life and obedience to him directly after the signing.

  It’d been almost a week since he and Aria had discussed it at all. At the time she’d only promised to consider his idea, but he wasn’t at all surprised when just a few minutes later they got an invite message to a treaty signing banquet. All of the bishops and clerics on New Blessing would be attending, and she’d sign the treaty before all of them and his party immediately following the evening meal. A banquet to mark the historic occasion.

  Which was mostly about catching the rats and traitors on her world, and it had little to do with the treaty at all except her opponent’s desire to stop it. He bet the guilty parties will be a bit panicked about now, when they learn both leaders had approved it and all that was left was the formality of signing.

  “We should stay alert for more assassination attempts, and ones not as intelligently laid out as the first. If they want to stop this treaty and start a war by killing me, they’ll have to take some risks starting now.”

  Aria had spread the word that their negotiations were done after the first assassination attempt. Politicians were cowardly at heart, and they had no more foreign assassins lying around to help shield their identities. He suspected they’d decided to wait to see what King Andros did. After all, if Andros rejected the treaty, then they had no reason to risk their lives and careers by fomenting discord by killing him. Which had given him a danger free week.

  But now that it was accepted, their enemies would have to either back down, or put one of their own in the game in an attempt to take him down and start a war that way.

  Daisy said, “Agreed, now that the treaty is a sure thing, they’ll be desperate to stop it.”

  Leanne suggested a bit playfully, “We should celebrate the news, sir. And since we were safe in the bed for the last assassination attempt, we should celebrate there. It’s just prudent, sir.”

  He snickered, “I like the way you think.”

  Riesa said, “Me too. I’m also fairly sure we were naked, so we should recreate the circumstances of our safety as exactly as possible.”

  Daisy interjected, “This is no joking matter.”

  He sighed, “Gallows humor, look it up. It’s also natural and healthy, and lastly, it’s a damned good idea. Besides, realistically speaking we probably won’t be in danger until at least tomorrow night. Even panicked, they’ll take a little time to plan and minimize their exposure risks, and they have three days.”

  Unless of course, they’d already planned for this contingency, and just had to release the assassins. But he kept that to himself so as not to encourage more nagging from Daisy.

  He was also confident he could meet the threat and walk away. And if he was wrong, well then this life wouldn’t be his problem anymore. Vigilance was important, but so was living life.

  Daisy said, “You just snapped at me,” and for some odd reason she sounded pleased about it.

  Whatever, crazy artificial pain in the ass. He took his women to bed, ignoring the guilt at that thought. Maybe it was him, because he felt a towering resentment toward Daisy, at the harping and constant picking way that she’d raised him. It’d been constant, and he’d never been good enough to satisfy her standards.

  He pushed that away, it was time to make his ladies scream for him, and to pound them into blissful oblivion, which was a far more pleasant thought and task.

  His heart pounded and his breathing was harsh, as he pulled Riesa tightly against him from behind, assuming the spooning position. His cock felt good between her supple and petitely rounded ass cheeks, and the way her tail teased his chest felt pretty damn good too. He kissed the side of her neck softly, extracting a soft purr of delight from his sexy Cheelah.

  It was their private time. The third day they’d started rotating who made lunch, which left him and the other some private intimate time together. He didn’t make lunch, it was his private time with either of them, but mostly because he couldn’t boil water without burning something. His lovers got their private time to chat and play every day anyway, in the early mornings, when he was with Aria.

  Point being, as hot and incredibly pleasurable a threesome was, he wanted more intimate one on one encounters as well.

  It was just the next day at around noon, and so far there’d been no assassination attempts, but he didn’t think it’d be much longer.

  She spun around in his arms, and then kissed him softly, then she stared into his eyes intimately.

  He couldn’t help but reach up and caress her face, even as his other hand gripped her waist rather possessively and pulled her tighter against him.

  “I’m going to miss you, when we get home and you’re reassigned.”

  She smiled brightly at that, but also looked guilty.

  He frowned, “Guilt? What do you have to be guilty for, Riesa?”

  Riesa swallowed nervously, “The king said not to tell you, unless you asked.”

  “I’m asking,” he said, but not unkindly.

  Riesa shook her head, “I’m not leaving you either, sir. The king is building a new ship class, about half the size of a corvette, seventy-five meters long. It’ll be built around the power of a celestial, and it’ll be the new celestial knight class cruiser. Instead of being ferried around and working temporarily with local military, you’re to be given a permanent team, unless you turn someone down, or they retire or request a transfer, of course. I’ll be part of that team, if you’ll have me.”

  “Built around my power?”

  Riesa nodded, “The systems you can control and enhance with magic on other ships are limited, with the idea of wizard officers and their power limitations in mind. The new ship will be made with the great power of a celestial in mind, enhancing all tactical systems including the drives. It will only have three laser banks instead of the five of a corvette, and only two missiles tubes instead of four, but with you enhancing those weapons and the shield grid, it will be more than a match for a corvette, and likely a full match to a frigate, or an unenhanced battleship.”

  He frowned as he thought that through, “A test run, because the military and I don’t see eye to eye most days.”

  Riesa shrugged, “Insightful. That was the driving force, to start with. But I think the King grew excited about the possibilities in the new way, and if it works to his expectations then he may adopt it for all the celestial knights. You’d still be in authority and could order military aid, but from your ship instead of their bridges.”

  He chuckled, “I do tend to rub them wrong. You’re sure?”

  It was his casual and relaxed approach to life, while military officers tended to have a stick up their asses.

  The truth was he’d never been able to master the mask of non-emotion. He needed to wear a mask that would overlay that ball of rage, evoke that relaxed and confident feeling in himself. Any time he tried to clear his mind of all other emotion, the rage was still there, and it would leak through. Something he couldn’t afford, or so he’d always believed.

  Not to say the casual confidence wasn’t real, because it was. It was a natural part of him now, by the basic fake it until you make it school of thought. Eventually, you become what you consistently pretend to be.