Everyone was so friendly and helpful that he’d been suspicious at the beginning. However, as he got accustomed to it, he realized how much nicer his days were in such an atmosphere.

  But even that wasn’t alleviating the fear of what was to come. How bad could it be? Surely not that bad. Shane didn’t look gang-member tough or militant. Yet none of that made Spencer feel any better.

  He hated that how he felt made a difference, but the first day with a new medical team was always tense, as he figured out how to get along with a new system and with someone who had slightly different techniques. Spencer had a tendency to hold back and to watch and learn, instead of applying himself.

  He didn’t want Shane to see him holding back, but Spencer also knew what would happen if he did it after weeks of nothing.

  Still, only time would tell how these early sessions would go. He hoped well but also knew they could go very badly.

  Unfortunately he’d seen it all before.

  Chapter 5

  Taking Dennis’s advice, Bella went through Hathaway House at the end of her shift the next day. She was later than she intended, and psychologically she wondered if she hadn’t come deliberately a little late. She wandered through, looking for Spencer’s room. And, when she came upon it, and nobody answered, she had to admit to being disappointed.

  As she stood here, wondering what she should do next, she heard sounds of a wheelchair, slowly making its way toward her. She turned to see Spencer, looking as if his world were about to collapse and as if he were at the end of his energy. She bolted forward and then slowed her steps when he saw her.

  He smiled. “I appreciate both the attempt to help me and the realization that I am making it.”

  “You are,” she agreed, trying to hold back the anxiety in her voice as she studied him. “But honestly you look as if you’re done.”

  “That’s because I am done,” he confirmed, with a muffled groan. “And I didn’t think even being this done was possible.”

  “Sorry,” she murmured.

  He nodded. “It’s all right. Sometimes you just need to know that you can’t do anything more. You can try all you want, but, at one point in time, you’re absolutely done.”

  “What is pretty amazing is that you’re still here, even after the rehab horrors I’ve heard about.”

  He smiled. “Not a whole lot of choice. Either you deal with this now or it’ll be in your face forever.”

  “So, hard pain at the beginning and a lot of gain at the end.”

  He looked at her in surprise and then slowly nodded. “That’s the hope at least.”

  She smiled. “I’m pretty sure in Hathaway House that’s as close to a guarantee as you can get.”

  “And I think you’re right there, but it still takes a lot of trust to even see it happening.”

  “Oh my, I can’t imagine. I’ve never had a major physical injury, such as you’re dealing with, but I’ve seen a lot of people come through here. And a lot of them leave in much better spirits and physical states than when they arrived.”

  “I’m counting on it,” Spencer replied, “even if it feels beyond impossible at the moment.”

  “Of course it does,” she declared, with a vote of confidence. “And I’m so sorry. I gather you had a harder day than you expected.”

  “I think they’ll all be harder days than I expected now,” he noted, trying for a laugh. “Testing’s done, actual sessions are now happening, and man, oh, man. I’ve got muscles I didn’t even know had survived the accident.” He breathed hard, as he rested in front of her, his arms on the wheelchair arms. “And it is okay for me to say that because I would fail terribly to make it look any better than it is today.”

  “You don’t have to make anything look better,” she stated calmly. “You do the best you can do each day, and that’s all any of us can ask of you.”

  He smiled. “But who’ll stop me from asking more of myself?”

  She stepped out of the way, pushing his door wider, so that he could get in a little easier. “Have you thought about the hot tub yet?”

  “Thought about it because I heard about it, but I haven’t asked for access,” he shared. “I’m not sure I can even get there and back on my own. It might be a waste of energy for anybody else to get me down there and back, when it’ll probably take somebody on the medical staff, assigned specifically just for me.”

  “I would think it has to,” she replied honestly. “Because of insurance, they must have somebody with everybody who goes.”

  He pondered that for a moment and then nodded. “You’re probably right. Insurance is such a sticky business these days.”

  “Yeah, it sure is,” she agreed. “Anytime you want, you can just ask for an orderly.”

  He shrugged, and she realized he would be the guy who didn’t want to ask for any help.

  “You know that absolutely nothing is wrong in asking for help, right?” she asked on a half laugh. He just smiled at her, and she realized that she’d hit it right on. “Let me put it this way. Anytime you want to go outside for a trip around to see the place, and you don’t want to ask for help, give me a buzz.” She pulled a page off her tiny notebook, wrote down her cell number, and handed it to him. “I can take you out and can give you a tour of the grounds.” He looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. “It’s beautiful here, and it’s my work, so, of course, I’m proud to show it off.”

  He flashed a quick grin at her. “In that case, maybe, but not today.”

  “Nope, not today,” she agreed. “You seem completely done in. Time to crash or soak in a hot tub or whatever it is you guys do after a bad session.”

  “Today I’ll crash,” he murmured, “probably won’t even make it for food.”

  “In that case, tell somebody,” she suggested, “because, once Dennis finds out that you’re skipping meals, he’ll panic that you’ll waste away to nothing.” He stared at her to see if she was serious, and she burst out laughing. “I’m only partially joking. He is incredibly invested in everybody here.”

  “He hardly even knows me,” Spencer protested.

  “And that just means that he’ll keep at it until he does,” she added. Noting just how tired he was, she backed out of his room. “Didn’t want to disturb you. Go ahead and just crash and do whatever. I’ll see you around.”

  And, with that, she dashed off. Hard to even think about the impact that he had on her senses. Something was just so poignant about a man trying so hard to be strong and yet dealing with what seemed to be complete and utter failure in so many ways. It broke her heart, and yet she also wouldn’t demean him by feeling sorry for him. Life had dealt him a tough hand, but he was handling it, and that was way more than a lot of people were doing. And she could only be proud that he was doing as well as he was.

  Spencer crashed on the bed, his eyelids shut, until he heard a knock on the door. He called out, “Come in.” Shane stepped in. At least he recognized Shane’s voice.

  “Hey, that bad, huh?”

  “Yep that bad,” he admitted, too tired to raise his eyelids, “at least right now. I keep hoping things will ease, and it will get better.”

  “It will,” Shane noted calmly, “but I was worried you’d overdone it today.”

  “You think?” he quipped. “If you mean overdone as in still having some strength to get up and maneuver, I’m overdone. If you mean having done too much in that I’ll never get out of this bed again? Yep, I’m overdone.” Just enough self-mocking laughter filled his voice that he knew Shane wouldn’t take offense.

  “I don’t want to see you guys crash so early into the rehab program,” Shane explained. “Makes your recovery a lot harder.”

  Spencer opened his eyelids and stared at him. “I’m not sure what I was supposed to do differently.”

  “You weren’t supposed to do anything differently,” Shane replied. “I was. I shouldn’t have let you carry on quite so far.”

  “Honestly I was good, until I stopped, and I shouldn’t have stopped,” he noted. “Because, as soon as I did, everything came crashing down, and all the muscles seized up. I even found it hard to breathe there for a while.”

  At that last comment, Shane was not happy, and he asked, “How about the hot tub?”

  “If it means moving, no way,” Spencer said.

  “All it would mean doing,” Shane explained, “is getting changed and getting into the wheelchair. I’d get you down there.”

  “Still seems to involve way-too-much effort.” Spencer moaned. “I was thinking a shower, but I can’t manage that either. And I’ll tell you upfront that I can’t manage dinner for sure.”

  “Uh-oh, in that case, I’ll insist on the hot tub.’

  He opened his eyelids again and stared at him. “Seriously?”

  “Yep, if it’s that bad, we need to ease up those muscles, before they lock down and seize up.”

  “I think you’re already too late.” He groaned again. “Just the thought of even moving is enough to make me want to cry.”

  “Definitely need the hot tub.” Shane walked over to the drawers in the built-in closet, pulled out a pair of swim trunks, and asked, “Are these for you?”

  He turned toward him and nodded. “I still don’t think I can get there though.”

  “I’ll have you ready in a jiffy.” And, with Shane’s help, Spencer was changed and seated in the wheelchair.

  He looked at Shane in astonishment. “You’ve done that a time or two.”

  Shane laughed. “More than a time or two,” he admitted. “A couple millennia worth and that’s okay too. Makes the job a lot easier because I know what I’m doing.”

  “I hear you there but wow. Every time I think I can handle something, whatever else comes along just kicks me to the floor.”

  “And sometimes we fall and take pride in it,” Shane offered, “but we don’t do it for rookies, and we don’t do it when you first get here.”

  And Spencer heard the regret in Shane’s voice. “It’s not your fault.”

  Shane raised his eyebrows and asked, “And whose fault is it?”

  “Mine. I know what my body can do. I go-go-go, and then I drop—literally.”

  “Now I know too,” Shane stated, “so no repeat event.”

  “It’s not that bad,” Spencer protested, but they were almost at the hot tub. This was the first time he had seen this whole area. “Wow, I never did get a tour.”

  Shane looked at him in surprise. “Seriously? We always give tours in the first couple days.”

  “Maybe that was my fault,” Spencer admitted. “A couple times people have knocked on my door, and I’ve just been too exhausted to even answer.”

  “That’s quite possible then.”

  “And, of course, a very pretty lady offered me a tour herself today,” he shared, with a smile. “So I’m okay if you guys skip it, and I just go with her.”

  Shane asked, “Who?” And when Spencer responded that it was Bella, Shane started to chuckle. “In that case you get a tour with her,” he stated. “And if anybody is ready to show you the grounds, it should be her. She’s put a ton of effort into them. I know she’s immensely proud of her work here.”

  “In that case,” Spencer added, “maybe I will because I wonder if anyone tells her that she is doing such a good job.”

  “I’m not sure,” Shane replied thoughtfully. “That’s the job that we don’t see happening. We just see the results and think it happens without any effort.”

  “And yet the effort”—he waggled his eyebrows at Shane—“has got to be huge.”

  “It does. I’m glad that you two have hit it off.”

  “Sort of. She seems to be a cutie.”

  “That she is. She’s also one of the hardest workers in the place. Been here quite a few years too,” he acknowledged. “I don’t know a whole lot about her though. It seems she’s always working on an opposite shift to me.”

  “I can see that. She always seems to be around and about but probably not at the same time that anybody else is.”

  “And that’s exactly it. We have so many staff members, and everybody’s on different schedules to cover all twenty-four hours of a day, so you just never know who’s coming and who’s going, who’s starting, who’s leaving. And sometimes that’s great, but sometimes it’s also easy to lose track. I’ve known Bella for quite a few years, but I can only count a handful of times that I’ve stopped and had a cup of coffee with her.”

  “She doesn’t seem to stop much,” Spencer noted drily.

  “Oh, you are not kidding. She has energy that you wouldn’t believe. One of the times that I was attempting to visit with her out on the grounds, she just kept bouncing all over the place. I finally asked her what the problem was, and she said nothing. She just was high energy.”

  “She wasn’t high-energy today when I saw her, but she’s got something special,” he admitted.

  “She does. It’s called love of life,” Shane noted, with a smile. “Not everybody’s got that extra something.”

  “No, no, that’s for sure, but I’m blessed that she offered.”

  “And you should be,” Shane agreed. “I don’t know of any other person she’s given that offer to.”

  “I’ll text her and take her up on it.”

  “And she gave you her number?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

  At that, Spencer smiled knowingly. “I’m a broken-down wreck. I’m pretty sure she thought I was harmless.”

  “And are you?” Shane asked him quietly.

  “I am right now,” he admitted. “Absolutely no idea what I’ll be like when I get back on my feet.”

  “At least you’re looking at that being a future possibility,” Shane noted, “and that’s good.”

  “Definitely feels as if there’s a future for me. I just don’t know what shape or form it’ll take,” he shared. “I keep hoping it’ll be better than I’m expecting, but I also don’t want to expect too much and be disappointed.”

  “Pick something that you want to deal with, something that you want to get back to, something that would make it seem as if you have arrived, fix whatever that needed to be fixed to reach that goal that confirmed you were there,” Shane suggested, “and then we’ll work toward it.”

  “Hmm,” he murmured, as Shane helped him upright, until he was holding the rail of the hot tub, catching sight of the animals in the distance. The little llama had taken immediately to that family of horses. Something about her presence, fitting in with her new family, made him smile. “I don’t even know what that would be.” Except maybe riding horses again.

  “And that’s why I’m telling you now,” Shane said. “We have weeks and weeks of rehab work to do. So I’m sure, in one of those sessions, something will pop up as that thing which you really miss, and we can drive toward getting that back into your life.”

  “Sounds good.” And slowly—his body feeling as if it had aged hundreds of years just today—he moved his way deeper into the water of the hot tub. As it washed over him, his body trembled.

  “You okay?” Shane’s brows steepled, as he studied him.

  “Yeah, I will be. I can feel the shakes too,” he murmured, “but I think they’re good shakes.”

  “Is there such a thing?” Shane asked in concern.

  “I think so.” Then he sank until just his face was above water. And he let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t want to make the effort to come here, and I didn’t want any more effort being expended on me,” he explained, “but, man, now that I’m here? This was a good decision.”

  “Good,” Shane commented quietly. “I don’t want to see anybody suffer, and you were suffering more than you needed to. You’re also allergic to a lot of drugs, aren’t you?”

  “I am,” he confirmed.

  “Severely?”

  “I don’t know what severely means anymore,” he replied quietly. “Somehow it seemed severe at the time, but I don’t remember.”

  “And how often have you tested them?”

  “Some of them, I have quite the reaction,” he shared. “Some of them are not too-too bad. Yet they’re all on my watch list. I think only one gives me a rash. With others, I swell. One gives me blackouts.” He shook his head.

  “In that case,” Shane declared, “we’re avoiding them all. So the hot tub just might be where you need to come on a regular basis.”

  “Oh, gosh,” Spencer murmured, a smirk on his face. “What a tough job.”

  “It is,” Shane agreed, with laughter in his voice, “but somebody’s got to do it.”

  Chapter 6

  Bella worked furiously for the next few days, not necessarily by choice but because a lot of work was piling up. They’d had a flood from a leaking watering trough, and that had left them with a pile of mud to deal with that was being tracked everywhere. So they had to dig a drainage ditch and a pit to make the trough function properly, as it should. By the time she was done every day, she would eat and crash early after a shower.

  However, a few days later, by the time she had a chance to take a breather, she realized that another day was basically done. She groaned, feeling her whole body and shoulders ache, particularly today. She’d been short one laborer, and, never afraid to pick up the tools required for the job, she’d been shoveling a little bit more than her body was happy with.

  She pondered the hot tub, and, of course, that brought her mind back to Spencer, wondering how he was doing. Deciding that the hot tub would help her to function properly tomorrow, she got home, had a quick shower and changed into her bathing suit. She slowly put on a cover-up and hung a towel over her shoulder and headed toward the hot tub. Just as she collapsed into the water, she heard a chuckle beside her.

  She surfaced to see Spencer. “Great minds think alike,” she said, as she sank back under.

  “Tough day?” he asked.