She walked over to the corner of her office, behind her desk so nobody would catch a glimpse of her. Then, just like Dr. Maddy had shown her many years ago, she sat down cross-legged and slowly pulled away from the stress churning through her system, trying to pull some of the harmony and the joy of what she did back into her field. It was hard because she wanted everything to work smoothly, and, while she was away from here, it was actually easier to remember the good parts than the bad.

  Now that she was back in it again, the bad parts had all the makings of one hell of a headache. She’d often wondered about having her own place, like an investor-money setup, creating her own center. It was something that crossed her mind on a regular basis. She’d been offered some money to do it at one point but just hadn’t thought she was really ready for that kind of responsibility. Yet the more she thought about it now, the more she had to wonder. Just enough was going on in this place to drive her batty, so maybe she would be better off on her own. Just before she started to drift a little further, Stefan’s voice popped into her head.

  Anytime you’re ready to do it, you know we’re there for you.

  She smiled at that. “It would take an awful lot of money, a lot of know-how, and would create a hell of a lot of headaches,” she murmured.

  That doesn’t mean it would be wrong, he added. And you wouldn’t have to do it alone.

  “Maybe not. I’m not sure I’m up for that just yet.”

  Got it, but anytime you decide you are up for it, let us know. I’m sure we could roust up the money for a center.

  “One of Dr. Maddy’s centers?” she asked, with a smile.

  No, we’ll make it a Dr. Cressy center, he clarified, with a note of humor. The work you do is just as important as the work she does, just in a different field.

  “I know, and honestly I do think about it sometimes, and then I get scared off due to all the bureaucracy.”

  But if you were on the board, he noted, you would have much less to worry about, where bureaucracy is concerned.

  She thought about that and slowly nodded. “I guess that’s what it comes down to. It depends on whether I would have a board of directors I would have to kowtow to. If I didn’t, then fine. I could run it the way I need to, but, if I do, it’s a different story, since one board of directors is the same as the rest.”

  Unless you have people on the board who actually care about the place.

  “How do you get that? … Ah, I know how you get that,” she declared, with a knowing smile. “You have people on the board of directors who remember what it was like when their own family member was part of the system that didn’t give a crap.”

  Exactly, he agreed. It’s not that difficult to find people like that to serve.

  “No, it sure isn’t. I can think of plenty of people I’ve helped, now that you mention it.”

  Exactly. I don’t know what kind of money it would cost even just to buy the center that you’re working for now, he mentioned, but that’s always another option.

  She laughed. “I do not have that kind of money, and I’m not sure other people have that kind of money either.”

  Oh, you would be surprised, and people definitely do, but we would need to find the right kind of funding.

  “Yeah, we’re talking millions upon millions,” she noted.

  Millions upon millions are out there, he told her. Don’t kid yourself about any scarcity of money.

  “Then put out the word, Stefan. And, if need be, if changes here are not successful, maybe that’s what we’ll end up doing.”

  You still have to get control of the board there though, if that’s the route you go to set up shop, and that means buying up shares.

  “I don’t have that kind of money or know-how,” she admitted, “so that’ll take somebody else with a different expertise.”

  I do have a couple people I could mention it to.

  “Fly at it then because I’m heading for the mother of all fights,” she murmured. “What pisses me off is that what I’ve been fighting for is the most basic of health care in terms of good nutrition. You should see how they cut the budget for food and what they’re serving now. God, there’s absolutely nothing here that’ll help rebuild brains, bodies, and damaged souls.”

  Food won’t help damaged souls, Stefan added, but it’s all part of the same package, and it’s certainly a red flag. If they are willing to skimp on that, it’s cause for concern on what other corners they are cutting.

  “Exactly,” she murmured. “Anyway, if you know anybody, go ahead and talk to them. I would run it—or at least co-run it.” She groaned. “I mean, I have too much aversion to the paperwork to be fully involved, plus all the meetings and crap like that. Yet … I’m in them all the time anyway, so I’m not sure it would be any different.”

  And, with that, he just laughed and disconnected in her head.

  She smiled, and, after the conversation with him, found it much easier to slip out of her body and to roam freely. She felt her body start to stretch, feeling the freedom take over her soul, as she was released from her physical form. She felt sorry for anybody who didn’t know how to do this, yet the bulk of the world never enjoyed the experience. She was sorry for them because it was such a unique feeling to fly free, and, of course, she wasn’t alone.

  She flew free here because so many of her patients were here on this mental plane, and, as she headed out into the hallway, she saw various individuals and their energy flowing around the building easily, most of them not sure what they were doing. Likely they thought they were in a dream state.

  Yet some of them knew exactly what they were doing because she’d met them on this plane before. As she walked toward Annalise, the woman looked up and cried out in delight, racing toward her. Cressy braced as the flow of energy shot right into her and passed on through. Cressy laughed. “You always did love to do that.”

  “I’m so happy you’re here,” Annalise cried out, happy and bouncing all over the place. “Oh my, do we get to play again?”

  “To a certain extent,” Cressy replied. “This is my first time back here in a long while.”

  “I know. I know,” she cried out. “I didn’t want you to leave. It’s been terrible with you gone.”

  Annalise cried out with the overdramatization of the young woman that she was inside. Really Annalise was a forty-year-old woman, but, when she was in this spiritual plane, she was a young woman, one who enjoyed life, had fun, and raced around the center, laughing as if she had not a care in the world.

  She didn’t have those cares, until she returned to her body and the world that had hurt her so badly that she preferred to not actually live but more to just exist by the means other people demanded of her. If Annalise had a choice, she probably would have danced out of her body and stayed here forever, but it was hard on bodies if you did that.

  It was important for souls to come back and connect to life, if they could. Unfortunately not all of them could, and some wouldn’t even try. Other things were on their minds, and, as far as they were concerned, better things, things that didn’t hurt as much as reality did, and Dr. Cressy certainly understood. Who was she to judge anybody else’s experience, when Cressy’s own sister had been in the exact same position? Pain was pain. It didn’t matter what form or shape it took. It was all about the interpretation and how it affected you.

  Spending a few minutes with Annalise, Cressy left her doing cartwheels up and down the hallway, hoping that one of the other residents would come out and play with her. Occasionally they did have a resident who could come and play, and then Annalise was absolutely in her element.

  Cressy didn’t know whether any such patient was here now or not. She watched and waited, but she noted no sign of anybody coming to join Annalise. Cressy wondered if Annalise realized just what was happening but figured she probably didn’t at this stage. Regardless, as long as she was happy, Cressy wouldn’t bother Annalise too much at the moment. There would be time for more questions down the road.

  Right now Cressy needed to see who was here, who wasn’t here, and whether those she expected to see were actually here or not. She could do an awful lot of work on patients and for them in this realm, but finding those who could step into this realm was a whole different story. She moved on down the hallway, checking on the patients she knew, going from room to room.

  She still had the high-security ward to check out, but she was avoiding that at the moment, while she started out with the easier patients. She laughed and smiled as she saw several of them. She was sad when she realized that one of the young men she had really enjoyed spending time with had apparently passed on. She made a note to check his file and see what had happened.

  He’d shown so much progress, and she really hoped it had nothing to do with her leaving. She already had enough guilt going on in her system without that. But just because she felt guilty didn’t mean that she was to blame, and she had to keep reminding herself of that. At times you could and should take on the blame of knowing you’d done something wrong, and then other times you realized you just had nothing more to give. She’d also been physically affected by the last blowup that had happened and was not too willing to jump right back into something similar.

  By the time she’d gotten through all the regular hallways that she had planned on checking out, she felt much better, knowing that several of the patients were waiting for her, these patients noting that Cressy was back on that plane. She spent a few minutes just being with them, catching up and checking on how they were doing, what they were up to, anything that had happened in the meantime. Progress on all levels, as far as Cressy was concerned.

  Then she headed down the hallway toward the room of the man she’d been trying to help back then, when the blowup had happened. He was no longer here, and it was the first time she’d been in that hallway since the attack happened. She’d tried to force herself to go there earlier and had somehow managed to evade the entire concept all day. Not that it was unexpected because just enough memories remained in the back of her mind to keep her away from it, yet she couldn’t allow fear to have control over her.

  It was one thing to have a problem and to acknowledge it, but quite another not to acknowledge it, thus giving it that kind of power over you all the time. As she headed toward that corner, she took a right and slowly drifted down the hallway, looking for any energy, looking for any emotions of her own that were locked up in her body or mind and unwilling to be open. Happily, she found her system was functioning fully as she moved swiftly through the area. She smiled when she came to the end of the hallway because she found nothing, no reaction, no negativity, absolutely nothing.

  Feeling much better and feeling some of the stress in her system drift off, she slowly headed back down this hallway, deciding that she would take a quick gander over in the high-security area, before going back to her office and writing down notes.

  She needed to sort out who she would help and how, plus what kind of help she could actually give at this point. As she moved toward the high-security area, she checked out the sheet to see how many rooms were full. Unfortunately she realized that every one of them was taken, and one was assigned to the man that she’d been trying to help when everything had blown up six months ago.

  She shook her head. She couldn’t believe it. Maybe the list was out of date. So she headed to the room assigned to Rodney.

  She froze when she saw his name on the door, and, when a hard slam came against the inside of the door, she drifted backward to get away. Yet getting away was the last thing she needed to do. She took a deep breath and slowly, with all the protection enabled around her, her spirit slipped into his room to find some man standing against the door, his head banging against it constantly. This was not Rodney. This man’s forehead was bruised, and his arms were wrapped around him, but he just stood there in place.

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  Her heart went out to him, but she also knew that she had to be careful. She wasn’t sure what was going on, and she could never take a chance of going in and dealing with another patient like Rodney, not until she knew his full history. Since his correct name was not on the room, she didn’t have a way to pull his medical history. She would have to resolve that problem, then check his history, see about this kind of behavior. Watching the stranger harm himself was painful. She immediately pulled back into her body and then headed to her office.

  Once she was there, she sat in place for a long moment, settling her spirit back into her body. Then she got up and walked right back down to that unit. Outside of his room, she checked what medication the misnamed patient was on and whose care he was currently under. Dr. Weatherby, which was fine and dandy.

  As she stood here, one of the orderlies came up and asked her, “Everything okay, Doc?”

  She smiled at him. “He appears to be struggling.”

  “He does this every night,” he told her, with a shrug. “They’ve changed his medication time and time again, but nothing ever stops it.”

  She nodded. “Anybody ever talked to him about it?”

  “He’s nonverbal,” the orderly said.

  She didn’t know who this orderly was. He wasn’t one of her regulars, so she asked him, “How long have you been here?”

  He looked at her and then shrugged. “I guess four months now, maybe.” He looked at her intently for a moment and then asked, “You’re new too?”

  “No, not so much new as returned. I’m just back from a sabbatical.”

  “Ah, right, Dr. Cresswell,” he said reading her name tag. “Pleased to meet you.”

  She smiled. “What’s your name?”

  “Simon, and I really do appreciate the chance at the job here.”

  Of course, at four months he’d just passed his probationary period and was hoping there wouldn’t be any issues. She had no issues with him, at least not yet. It remained to be seen just what was going on at this place and who survived the shake-up. But it seemed that the board hadn’t skimped on security. She smiled at him. “I’m glad you’re happy to be here. This work is definitely not for everybody.”

  “I feel sorry for them,” Simon replied, staring around at the sealed doors. “It’s not much of a life.”

  “No, it sure isn’t,” she agreed. “We’re trying to make it easier on them.”

  “I hear you, but I’m not sure how much good it’s doing though,” he stated doubtfully.

  She smiled. “And that is one of our constant challenges.”

  “Agreed.” And, with that, he stepped back.

  She took note of the medication this patient was on and then headed back to her office. When she got there, she quickly sent a text to Dr. Weatherby, asking about the meds for that patient.

  Instead she got a phone call. “You’re back five minutes,” he noted wearily. “And you pick up on the problem patient right off the bat?”

  She chuckled. “I don’t know that I picked up on the problem patient, but I was down in that area and heard the steady banging of his forehead on the wall.”

  “No, you’re right. I keep mixing up his medication, hoping to find something that’ll work. I hate to say it, but he’s been way worse. If you want to take him under your care, feel free,” he offered in a very low tone. “I’ve tried everything, and I don’t have anything else to offer.”

  She winced at that. “Let me take a look at his file and see what you’ve tried. Then I’ll consider it. Also I need his correct name. The wrong name is on his door.”

  “Really? I can’t imagine. I’ll double-check. But don’t take on a new patient just for me,” Dr. Weatherby added. “I don’t want to stress you out and send you off on another sabbatical, So forget I asked for help with him. I’ll keep him.”

  She laughed. “Everybody seems concerned that I’ll take off again.”

  “Hey, … you left so fast that we weren’t sure exactly what happened.”

  “Yeah, when you hit that wall,” she said lightly, “you just hit the wall, and there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason.”

  “If that’s what it was, good enough.”

  Of course that meant he didn’t believe her but was willing to accept her reasons, just as everybody else was. She appreciated it. Only so much she could actually tell anyone. None of it would be believed to some degree, and she would wind up in this place as a patient herself.

  The last thing she wanted to do was to end up with people running through her head. Even if she got into that kind of trouble, only so much help somebody like Stefan could give her. When she got off the phone, she updated her notes and then decided that, rather than sleep here, she would be better off going home, and she would need the comfort of that now, more than ever.

  She’d done what she could for tonight, but that was about it. As she walked to her vehicle, she went through the long main hallway toward the double front doors, the big entranceway. She should have gone around to the doctor’s entrance. It would have been quicker. As she reached the front doors, she heard an odd sound. She turned and frowned at the security guard at the front desk.

  He looked at her. “Got a problem?”

  She shrugged. “Just thought I heard something.”

  He snorted. “In this place, you hear all kinds of stuff.”

  She nodded. “I guess. I had forgotten what it sounds like.”

  He laughed. “That’s all right. I’m sure you’ll be back into the swing of things in no time.”

  She nodded agreeably and stepped out of the front doors. As soon as she got outside, she headed to her car, wondering what she had heard because it was odd, and it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. It was like that pounding, that banging that her problem patient had been doing inside, yet amplified ten times worse outside. She stood in the parking lot, listening for it again, but there was nothing. Then, just as she got into the car, she heard it once more, this time louder and louder and louder, as if somebody were running toward her, yet was on the other plane.