This was different. To lose her best friend, her confidant, the one person in Seattle who supported and believed in her, was a double hit. She missed Celeste’s company far more than she did Brian’s. Even now, it was hard to believe Celeste would betray and deceive her this way. So much for the friends’ code of honor.

  “It stinks,” Lindy said. “The thing is, Mom, I’m a complete romantic failure.” Saying it aloud made it seem all the more real.

  “Don’t say that.”

  “How can I not? Mardelle and Nate are engaged and have already adopted a dog they named Oscar. She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding this summer. And Mardelle isn’t the only one of my college friends who is in a committed relationship.”

  “I know what Celeste and Brian did hurts.”

  “No kidding.” She hadn’t meant to blurt out all this drama the instant she walked in the front door. Lindy had hoped to put all this behind her and enjoy the holidays with her family. The less she thought about Brian and Celeste, the better all around.

  “I’m sorry you had to go through this.” Her mother’s gentle sympathy helped ease the ache in her heart.

  “Thank you, Mom. While my head knows that, my heart is having a hard time accepting it.”

  “I can understand that.”

  Her mother was right. Still, Lindy found it hard to believe. “It’s my own fault. I made the mistake of checking Celeste’s page on Facebook last night, and while I was spending my weekends alone, the two of them were skiing on White Pass and attending a Seahawks football game. What hurts most is those are the very activities Brian and I did last winter. I’m such a loser.”

  “You most certainly aren’t a loser, Lindy Rose Carmichael.”

  “I lost my boyfriend and my best friend. Losing Brian isn’t so bad, but Celeste? I have lots of friends, but Celeste and I were so close. We shared everything. I just didn’t expect to have to share my boyfriend.”

  “The two of them deserve each other,” her mother said.

  Lindy expected her mother to champion her.

  “As far as I’m concerned, Brian isn’t half the man we thought he was,” her mother continued. “It’s painful for you now…I remember…” She paused.

  “You remember what?”

  Her mother’s eyes darkened with sadness. “I remember how I felt when your birth father walked out on me…It seemed as if the entire world had collapsed around me. As soon as he learned I was pregnant with you, he took off for the hills. He couldn’t get away fast enough.”

  “Oh, Mom,” Lindy whispered. Looking at it from her mother’s point of view, Lindy had gotten off lucky.

  Scooting back her chair, Ellen gestured for Lindy to remain where she was. “There’s something I want to show you.”

  “Show me?”

  “Something that will make you feel better.”

  While that sounded promising, Lindy wasn’t sure anything her mother had to show her would lift her spirits from this funk.

  Her mother disappeared and returned a few minutes later. With a big smile, she handed Lindy a child-size shoe box.

  “What’s that?” she asked, genuinely puzzled, not knowing what to expect.

  Her mother’s face glowed with excitement. “I went through some of those boxes I packed away in the garage years ago and found this. I’ve been saving it to show you. These, my precious daughter, are your letters to Santa.”

  “While they might amuse me, Mom, I doubt they will do anything to take away this ache in my heart.”

  “I think you might be surprised,” her mother insisted. “Now, open it up and read the first letter.”

  Lindy couldn’t imagine anything she’d written back when she’d believed in Santa had the power to influence her life now.

  “Trust me,” her mother whispered. “Read the one on the top. You wrote it when you were five.”

  “This is silly.” Still, she couldn’t help being curious.

  “Don’t be so sure,” her mother said, with a twinkle in her eye.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Lindy had a hard time believing her childhood letters to Santa had any significance to her current messy life. Nevertheless, she was curious, and reached for the letter at the top of the box.

  Opening the envelope, she pulled a single sheet from inside and spread it out on the table. In her childish, awkward print, she’d written:

  Dear Santa,

  Please bring me a daddy.

  Lindy

  Lindy glanced at her mother and smiled. “I didn’t ask for toys? I can remember wanting a bike around that time.”

  “That came later. All you wanted that Christmas was a dad.”

  “I don’t remember any of this.”

  “Honey, you were only five. You’d started kindergarten, and for the first time noticed that the other children had fathers and you didn’t.”

  Lindy shook her head. She had little recollection of that Christmas. What she did remember was that bike. As she thought back, she realized her mother was right in that all she had asked for was a dad.

  “I remember when I read your letter. No way was I going to be able to give you a father. My heart sank,” her mother said. “The only man I’d ever loved had left me. I hadn’t heard from him since the day I told him I was pregnant. Through some friends of mine, I learned he’d married someone else shortly after you were born.”

  “We were far better off without him.” Lindy believed that with all her heart. She wouldn’t have had the father who loved and raised her if this sperm donor had stuck around, although at the time she understood how his rejection must have badly hurt her mother. Over the years, Lindy hadn’t wondered about him herself. Because she was loved by the dad who’d adopted her, she’d never felt the need to know anything about the man responsible for her birth.

  “We are much better off,” her mother agreed. “Of all the things you might have asked for, a father was the one thing I couldn’t give you. It broke my heart.”

  “Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry.”

  “You need to understand. That year, Christmas was bleak. My parents left to spend the holidays with my brother in Kansas, and it was just the two of us. With everything in me, I wanted to make this special for you, because you were going to miss Gamma and Papa.”

  Lindy knew how dearly her mother loved Christmas, and how hard it must have been for her to be alone, instead of with her family. And then Lindy had to ask for the one thing her mother couldn’t provide.

  * * *

  —

  Relaxing against the back of the chair, Ellen’s memories returned to that fateful Christmas. With her parents gone, she was alone over the holidays for the first time in her life. She’d done everything she could think of to make it as perfect as she could for her little girl. With a single income, making ends meet was difficult.

  Christmas Eve she sat up until nearly midnight, wrapping the few gifts she was able to put under the tree for Lindy. All the while, she regretted that she wouldn’t be able to give her beautiful daughter the one thing she’d so desperately wanted—a daddy.

  Trust was a huge issue with her, after what happened with Robbie. He’d said all the right things, lavished her with compliments, seduced her, and then, once he got what he wanted, he changed. His calls became infrequent, and when he did show up there was only one thing that interested him. All the signs were there, only she’d been blind. So blind. His promises were empty, and when she learned she was pregnant, the truth hit her square between the eyes.

  How grateful Ellen was for her parents, who loved her and helped support her through the pregnancy. After Lindy was born, they’d helped her get into a small apartment. Robbie had abandoned her and claimed he wanted nothing to do with his daughter. With that attitude, Ellen made the painful decision to cut him completely out of their lives. Robbie was more than happy to sign away all parental rights, which meant he didn’t need to pay child support. Consequently, Ellen struggled financially.

  Still, she’d been determined to make this a good Christmas for her daughter. Due to her parents’ generosity, there were plenty of gifts under the tree for Lindy to open.

  Christmas morning, Lindy roared out of bed and raced barefoot to the Christmas tree, sliding toward it like she was running for first base. “Can we open gifts now?” she pleaded.

  Ellen brewed herself a cup of tea and smiled as Lindy opened one small gift after another.

  “Mommy, look, Gamma and Papa got me a baking oven!”

  “Wonderful. You can bake a cake for our Christmas dinner.”

  Lindy set the gift aside and reached for another package. Tearing away the wrapping, she groaned a sigh. “It’s underwear.”

  “Yes, look how pretty it is.”

  “No one is supposed to see it, though.”

  Ellen constrained her amusement. “You’re right. You shouldn’t show anyone your new pretty underwear.”

  After three or four presents, Lindy settled back on her feet and looked expectantly at Ellen.

  “What’s the matter, honey, don’t you like your gifts?”

  Lindy was quick to nod. “I do. I wanted that bake oven forever and I love the new game and my puzzle. But Santa didn’t answer my letter.”

  “I know, honey, and I’m sorry. Do you want to play with your new game?”

  Lindy was quick to agree, and the two played several games before Ellen cooked them breakfast. Afterward, they watched Ellen’s favorite Christmas movies and they talked to her parents and brother in Kansas City. Joe asked if his gifts had arrived, and when she said they hadn’t, he apologized for mailing them off so late.

  When they were off the phone, Lindy mixed up the batter for a small cake to bake in her new oven.

  Because it was just the two of them, Ellen roasted a chicken for their dinner. The scent of it drifted through their apartment.

  “Chicken is my favorite,” Lindy said, as she patiently waited for her cake to finish cooking. She sat in front of the tiny oven and stared at it, watching the small timer tick away.

  “Chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy.”

  “And peas,” Lindy insisted.

  “And peas.” Lindy liked to squish them up with her potatoes and then add the gravy.

  It was while she was peeling the potatoes for their dinner that the doorbell rang.

  Before Ellen could put down the knife, Lindy was on her feet. “Mommy, Mommy, maybe it’s Santa.”

  Before Ellen could stop her, Lindy raced to the front door and threw it open. “Did Santa send you?” she asked, with wide-eyed expectation.

  “I believe he did,” the man said, as Ellen stepped out of the kitchen.

  “Are you my daddy?” Lindy asked. She whirled around, her eyes bright with joy. “See, Mommy, Santa got my letter after all.”

  Ellen’s face flushed red with embarrassment, and she avoided looking at the man in the doorway.

  “Ellen?”

  She glanced up and stared. “Phillip? What are you doing here?” She didn’t mean to sound unwelcoming. She’d known Phillip in high school and hadn’t seen him since they’d graduated.

  “I work for UPS.”

  She should have realized that, as he was dressed in his brown uniform. “You deliver on Christmas?”

  He shrugged. “All the other drivers are married with families. I’m single and volunteered to do the deliveries, thinking some little girl might be waiting for a gift from Santa.” With that, he handed the package to Lindy. “I believe this one is addressed to your mom and you.”

  Lindy grabbed hold of the boxed gift.

  Phillip smiled. “I should confess I recognized your name and saved your package for last.”

  “Please come in where it’s warm,” she said, when she realized this was his last stop. Ellen remembered that Phillip had always been shy.

  “It’s just the two of you?” he asked, looking around.

  Ellen nodded. “Mom and Dad are with my brother in Kansas City.”

  Lindy was sitting on the floor, opening the package, which was from Lindy’s godmother. Inside was a doll for Lindy and another package wrapped for Ellen.

  “I suppose you’re in a rush to get back to your family,” Ellen said.

  Phillip shook his head. “My parents are with my grandparents in Yakima.”

  In other words, he was alone on Christmas, too. “It isn’t much, but would you like to join us for dinner?” Ellen asked. “I mean, if you want. No pressure.”

  “I’d like that more than I can say.” His eyes held hers and they were filled with promise.

  Shaking her head to clear the memories, Ellen’s gaze returned to Lindy, who was staring down at the letter she’d written all those years ago.

  * * *

  —

  “Dad arrived that Christmas Day,” Lindy whispered.

  “Yes, it was your daddy, the very daddy you’d asked Santa to bring you.”

  “I don’t remember writing Santa,” Lindy said, running her finger over the clumsily drawn letters. “But I certainly recall you and Dad dating and how patient and kind he was to me.”

  “Don’t you remember me saying your dad was the best Christmas present I ever received?”

  “Yes, but I had no idea his arrival that day had anything to do with my letter to Santa…I mean, that’s a stretch, isn’t it? More of a coincidence.”

  “You might not think so, if you read the remainder of the letters.”

  “I will, but I want to hear more about that Christmas when I was five.”

  * * *

  —

  Oh, the memories. Phil had returned for dinner after dropping off the UPS truck.

  Once again, Lindy hurried to the front door, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside the house. Ellen had the table set and had refreshed her makeup. She remembered the shy looks he’d given her back in school. He’d never asked her out. If he’d found the nerve, she would have gladly accepted.

  “Mommy’s a good cook,” Lindy told him. “Almost as good as Gamma.”

  Lindy led him to the sofa and then sat down next to him. “I’m five and I can read.”

  “You must be very smart.”

  “Do you want me to read you a story?”

  “I would.”

  Ellen was flustered. “Lindy, let’s wait until after dinner, okay?”

  She looked disappointed but agreed. “Okay. I got pretty underwear for Christmas, but Mommy said I’m not supposed to show it to people.”

  “Your mommy is a wise woman.”

  Ellen coughed. If she was wise, she wouldn’t have ended up as a single mother.

  “She’s pretty, too.”

  “Yes, she is,” Phillip agreed. “I’ve always thought so.”

  For the next several minutes Lindy chatted away as if she’d saved every experience from the first five years of her life to tell him. He was wonderful, patient, and attentive.

  And that Christmas Day was only the beginning. Phillip quickly became a part of Ellen and Lindy’s life. And as Ellen had so often said, he was the best Christmas present ever.

  “And then later, Dad adopted me,” Lindy said.

  “That he did. We were married the next summer, and within a few months after our wedding, he legally became your father.”

  “I’m pretty sure I know why you saved that letter to Santa,” Lindy teased.

  “Open the next one,” her mother urged.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Reaching inside the small shoe box, Lindy withdrew the next letter. Unfolding it, she spread the paper out on the table and read aloud.

  Dear Santa,

  Thank you for my daddy. Mommy has a baby in her tummy, and I would like a baby sister and Rollerblades.

  Lindy

  “I got my Rollerblades, but I didn’t get my sister. Instead, we got Chad.”

  “I don’t think you were disappointed, though,” her mother reminded her.

  “No. The way I figured it, Santa knew what he was doing when he sent Chad. I remember Dad taking me to the hospital to see him. I had to stand on my tippy-toes to look into the nursery. The instant I set eyes on him I knew in my heart of hearts that deep down I really wanted a little brother.” Santa had come through after all.

  From the time her parents brought Chad home from the hospital, Lindy had doted on him. She couldn’t bear to hear him cry and did whatever she could to entertain him. Although there was a six-year difference in their ages, Lindy and Chad had developed a special bond that continued to this day.

  “I don’t know that I can wait until Thursday to see him,” Lindy said. Her brother and his small family came regularly for dinner Thursday night, which was her brother’s day off from the warehouse.

  “Ashley is only working part-time, so I’m sure if you give her a call, you’ll be able to connect.”

  “Will do.” Lindy couldn’t wait to see her brother and Ashley, although her nephew, Peter, was the real draw. That kid had had her heart from the first moment she’d held him in her arms. He’d gazed up at her and their eyes had linked. From then on, Lindy was a lost cause.

  Chad and Ashley had married young. Chad had told Lindy he knew right away that Ashley would one day be his wife. Even as a teenager, Ashley said she felt the same about Chad. Without question, he was the one for her. If Lindy didn’t love them so much, she could almost be jealous.

  Intrigued now, she reached into the box for the next letter, opening it and setting it down on the table beside the other two.

  Her printing had gotten much better, she noticed. “I wrote this when I was seven,” she said, reading it aloud.