“Biggest fear?” I asked.

  “Depth.”

  “Hmm… What kind of depth are we talking about? Water, or…” I left the question unfinished, already knowing she knew what I was talking about.

  “Any kind of depth that leaves me breathless and helpless.”

  Damn, I wanted to leave her breathless and helpless. RIGHT. NOW.

  “My turn,” she said. “What makes you feel high?”

  Now that was a good question. But the answer came immediately.

  “You…” She stayed quiet, so I proceeded. “Everything about you makes me feel high. Your voice, the scent of your skin, the silkiness of your hair, the way your eyes light up when you are happy, the blush on your cheeks, the sound of your laughter, the fire I can so clearly feel in you… Like I said – everything.”

  The more I thought about what I was saying, the more I felt like I shouldn’t have said that.

  “My turn,” I said after a short pause. “What’s your guilty pleasure?”

  “That’s an easy one – chocolate.”

  I smiled. “I’ll remember that.”

  “What’s your biggest fear, Doctor?”

  The question made my whole body freeze. I swallowed hard. There was only one thing I was really scared of…

  “Death,” I said. “Not my own, but those I may fail to save.”

  “No matter how high your self-esteem is, you are not God. You can’t save everyone.”

  “I know. But when in a surgery, I want to believe that I am God.”

  She smiled. I didn’t see her face, but I could swear she was smiling at the moment.

  As if confirming my words, she said, “And here I thought you wanted to be God everywhere…”

  “Well, my bed doesn’t count, I am everything there.”

  She laughed quietly into the handset. “You are so easy to tease.”

  “It’s because you are a tease, Nikki… A tease that I can’t resist.”

  “You mentioned that last night. Which makes me want to remind you that I don’t mix work and pleasures.”

  “We are not at work now, are we?”

  “No, we are not.”

  “And we are definitely pleased to have this conversation. Am I right?”

  “Maybe…”

  “Then what’s stopping us from enjoying the real pleasures?”

  “Rules.”

  “What rules?”

  “My rules.”

  “And what are they exactly?”

  “There’s only one rule actually – no sex with the boss.”

  “Shall I fire you to make you break the damn rule?”

  “Don’t even think about it.”

  “It doesn’t look like I have a choice.”

  “If you fire me, you will never see me again. Besides, no other assistant will be as good as I am.”

  Damn, she had a point. She was a wonderful PA, she could stand me and my impossible temper, and even fire back when needed. But more than that – I couldn’t let her go and never see her again…

  The thought made something weird crawl into my heart – fear? Was I afraid of losing her? Not a PA, but her?

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “What?” She asked, puzzled.

  “Um… Sorry, thinking aloud.” Suddenly I felt like I needed to break whatever started to build inside me. “I gotta go,” I said. “Something urgent came up.”

  “Oh, okay. See you on Monday, then.”

  “Yeah, sure. Good night.”

  “Night.”

  I could swear I heard the disappointment in her voice. But ending the call was a very small sacrifice from the list of those I would have to make. There was no way to make it work this time, not with her.

  Because unlike any other woman I had ever met, she made me feel things… The things I once swore I would never let myself feel, for anyone. When it came to sex, it was easy. But now, that I knew sex was not the only thing that I wanted to get from Nicola, things were going from bad to worse, really fast.

  It’s not like I was afraid of falling in love with her. I was afraid she would fall for me so hard, it would kill her. Maybe not literally, but chances were high I would fail to meet her expectations. I was not made for serious relationships. My work was the only thing I could dedicate myself to.

  The memory of Melody’s radiant smile flashed behind my closed eyes. I growled at how helpless that memory made me feel. Love was the reason for that smile… She was so deeply in love with James, she was being torn apart by what she needed and what she wanted. And she wanted him…

  But unlike my sister, my wishes and needs came down to one person only – Nicola Holt.

  I didn’t know how to get over my obsession with her. So I did the only thing that felt right at the moment – I called Lola.

  “Hello, sweetheart!” She greeted me, as excited as ever. “How are you? I’ve missed you like hell. Are we still having dinner on Monday?”

  “Hey, doll. Yes, of course. I’m calling to make sure you haven’t forgotten about our date.”

  She chuckled. “How could I? It’s been on my calendar since two weeks ago.”

  “Good. Looking forward to seeing you again.”

  “Likewise.”

  I truly hoped Lola would be able to distract me from my tormented thoughts about Nicola, Nikki as I started calling her recently.

  My eyes traveled to the front door again and the memories from last night returned.

  God, I was being such a fool…

  Nothing on earth was able to distract me from her. But maybe, just maybe it was not too late to stop whatever was going on between us before it ruined us.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Sundays for my family were sacred. No matter how tired I had been after another week of working in the hospital, meetings with my parents could not be canceled.

  But today I was surprised to see my mom sitting alone in the restaurant where our family gathering usually took place.

  “Hey, where’s Dad?” I kissed her on both cheeks and took a seat facing her.

  “He’s not feeling well.”

  “What happened?” I asked, waving for the waitress to bring us menus.

  “Caught a cold. Has been fevering all night along. Poor thing.”

  “Oh, no. Do you need anything? Shall I ask a therapist to come and check on him?”

  “No, darling. We are fine, thank you.”

  I knew her well enough to see that something was bothering her. And it was not just my dad’s state.

  “What is it, Mom?”

  She gave me a careful look. “Your father and I… We have decided to sell Melody’s workshop.”

  I swallowed. “What?”

  She cleared her throat before saying, “We think it’s for the best, Son. The place has been empty for ages, and it brings out so many terrible memories. Every time I go there, I feel like I am losing my daughter, over and over again.” She paused, fighting tears that I could see glistening in her eyes. “I can’t do this anymore, Ashton. Besides, dad and I thought it was time for you to let go of that story… We know how much you love your sister, but look at you – for years you’ve been working like a mule, trying to save as many lives as possible. All for what? To justify yourself for losing your sister? But we all know that it was not your fault!”

  Uh, I knew where this conversation was going. “Mom, don’t start this again…”

  “I want you to be happy, Son.” She reached out and covered my hand with hers. “I want you to stop blaming yourself for what happened. It was more my fault than yours.” She removed her hand and looked down as if she was too ashamed to look me in the eye. “Probably sending Melody to the institution would have been better than letting her stay at home.”

  “No,” I said through my clenched teeth. “You don’t know what happens to those locked up in there.”

  “I don’t. But maybe we should have thought about helping her somehow. I don’t know; maybe find a good doctor somewhere abroad. Or…”

  “Mom, listen to me. We did everything we could do to make her life easier and happier.”

  There was so much pain in her gaze, I couldn’t stand it.

  I rose to my feet, went around the table and came to give her a hug. “If there is someone to blame for what happened to Melody – is should be James Collins.”

  “No, Ashton. You should stop blaming him. James loved her!”

  My jaw clenched, my heart raced and I found it difficult to hear; I could barely control myself.

  “Stop saying it,” I snapped, going back to my seat.

  I sat down and took a deep breath to calm down. I couldn’t understand why mom kept defending the bastard. “You can sell the workshop if you want. But don’t expect me to forgive James Collins.”

  She was about to say something, but then the waitress came with two menus in her hands, put them next to our plates and stepped back, waiting for us to make an order.

  I looked through the list of meals absently; my thoughts were still wrapped up in James. How could she not see it – he pushed Melody over the edge! He kept following her, even though she told him to leave her alone.

  “I’ll take the usual,” Mom said, shutting the menu. Obviously, she was too stressed to think about the diversity of food served in the restaurant.

  “Me too.” I gave the menu back to the waitress.

  She nodded, made notes in her notebook and left.

  Mom and I stared at each other.

  “I’m sorry.” I sighed. “I know how much you liked James.”

  “Deep down, you know that what happened to your sister was not his fault. You need to let your anger go, Ashton. Forgiveness is the greatest of gifts. You need to forgive him, but more than that – you need to forgive yourself. There was nothing you could do to save her. But what you are doing now, the lives that you save every day – is priceless. It is so much more important than to keep running after the ghosts from your past. It’s time to move on, darling. Give yourself a break. Enjoy your life.”

  “I wish it was that simple, Mom.”

  “I know it is not easy, but your father and I are worried about you. When was the last time you went on a date? Bought flowers for a girl? You are not going to stay a bachelor for the rest of your life, are you?”

  “Mom, can we talk about something else?”

  “No. I wish there was something else we could talk about, but I’m kind of tired of listening to the numerous surgical stories that you tell me every Sunday. I want to hear something else – that you’ve started dating someone, that you are thinking about having a family and having kids maybe.”

  “For that, I need to find the right girl first.”

  “Don’t you have nice girls in the hospital?”

  Oh, God, I couldn’t bear this conversation any longer. “Fine. There is … someone.”

  Mom’s eyes widened, her face lit up with excitement. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me anything about her? What’s her name? How old is she? Is she a nurse or a doctor?”

  “Slow down, Mom.”

  She shifted impatiently in her chair. “Okay. Okay. Tell me more about her.”

  “Well…” I didn’t know what to say actually. It was not like Nicola and I were dating; she had a boyfriend actually, and she would probably kill me for talking about her behind her back, and what was even worse – talking about her with my mother as if she and I were in a relationship.

  “Her name is Nicola.”

  “It’s a beautiful name.”

  No matter what I was going to tell mom about Nikki, she would call it either beautiful or amazing, or fantastic. I couldn’t blame her. It was actually the first time in what - ten years? – that I had mentioned a girl’s name in my conversation with mom.

  “She’s my new PA. And she’s very smart.”

  “And beautiful I guess.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be telling me about her.”

  I made a helpless gesture. I couldn’t argue with that.

  “She is beautiful.”

  “And you like her, don’t you?”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “I have never seen my son’s face turning scarlet when talking about a girl. No, scratch that – I have never heard my son mention a girl in the first place.”

  I pressed my palms to my cheeks. I was not blushing, was I? Shit, I was turning into a pussy. Nicola would definitely have something sarcastic to say about it.

  Mom laughed under her breath. “When are you going to bring her home?”

  “What? No, no, no. I’m not bringing her home.”

  “Why not? Your father and I would be happy to meet her.”

  “No doubt. But she and I…we kind of…just started getting to know each other.”

  Crap, I was putting myself into so much trouble. I was going to regret this.

  “Just don’t be an asshole with her, son.”

  I looked carefully around. “Mom, did you just call me an asshole? Do you really think that low of me?”

  She giggled. “Considering how often you fire your PAs, I’m pretty damn sure what I called you is very close to the truth.”

  “Well, thank you, mother. I never doubted your love for me.”

  “I love you, Ashton. But I would love you even more if your Highness Doctor Bright blessed me with a grandkid or two. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?”

  “It’s a hell of a lot to ask for mom. It’s not like I can order a kid from a menu, you know?”

  “I know. And that’s why I’m telling you to think about your future and try to be good with that girl, Nicola. If you really like her, take your chance with her. Who knows, maybe she’s the one?”

  Mom’s words got stuck in my head as if they were burned there. I couldn’t stop replaying what she said. I barely tasted the food and hardly heard anything she was telling me about her meeting with Father Midgard. But the more I thought about trying my chances with Nicola, the worse the idea seemed. Flirting with her was one thing, but letting something serious happen between us was something completely different, and definitely more complicated.

  Just when mom and I were about to leave the restaurant, we came face to face with Mr. Milkoff, who was in the company of a very attractive lady that was not Nicola and whose mini dress was the shortest dress I had ever seen.

  “Doctor Bright...” Judging by his expression, I was the last person he expected to see.

  “Jared, right?” I gave the lady by his side a head-to-toe glance.

  “Is this a friend of yours, honey?” The lady’s eyes studied me.

  “No, just a…”

  “A boss of his ex-girlfriend,” I helped the jerk finish the line. I deliberately emphasized the word ‘ex’. There was no way in hell I would let Nikki keep seeing him, even if she was going to tell me all the damn good things about him. The man didn’t deserve to look at her, not to mention touch her. Like father, like son – I was right about him after all.

  “Enjoy your lunch,” I said to the happy couple. “Mom.” I opened the door for her and then followed her out of the restaurant, as fucking pissed as ever.

  I wasn’t going to tell Nikola a word about this unpleasant meeting, but I hoped the son of a bitch had enough conscience to break up with her without my help. Or I swear he was going to pay for using her.

  “Who was that?” Mom asked after I helped her into her car.

  “No one,” I snapped.

  “Are you okay, Son? You look a little worried.”

  As worried as a red-assed bull could be.

  “I’m fine.” I faked a smile, wished mom a good day and then went to my car, parked nearby.

  I sat in the driver’s seat, my hand reached for the phone in my pocket.

  I stared at the black screen, fighting the desire to call Nicola. I shall admit it, after last night I felt a little guilty for ending the conversation that she and I obviously enjoyed. But more than anything, I just wanted to hear her voice again.

  Let’s do it, I thought to myself.

  I unlocked the phone and dialed her number.

  Three beeps later, she answered the call.

  “Doctor Bight? To what do I owe the honor?”

  In no time flat, I felt like I was in heaven. Her sweet voice poured into my head and I forgot about everything that had happened a few minutes ago, well almost forgot.

  “I just wanted to apologize for last night. I didn’t mean to end our game so soon.”

  “No worries. We can get back to playing it any other time.”

  “I love the sound of that. What have you been doing today?”

  “Um…nothing special. Cleaning the apartment, doing laundry – boring stuff.”

  “All by yourself?” I knew Jared was not there to help her, and this is exactly why I asked my question. I was wondering what the douche told her he was busy doing today.

  “Yep. Didn’t find any volunteers to do the ‘dirty’ job for me.”

  “What about your boyfriend?”

  “Well, after you made me turn him down on Friday night, he left for Palm Springs, without me.”

  No, shit?

  “So he’s in Palm Springs now?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “No reason. Just checking in case you want to go out…with me…tonight.”

  It was a spontaneous question. I wasn’t planning on asking her out. But the moment the idea came to my head, I couldn’t stop myself. Though I was sure I sounded like it was the first time I ask a girl out. Dumbass…

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said.

  “It’s not like I’m asking you to have sex with me, though I’m sure you would enjoy it too.”

  “And this is exactly why I think it’s a bad idea. You seem to be unable to stop thinking about getting in between my legs, and that is not gonna happen.”

  “Ever?”

  “Uh, you are hopeless, Doctor Bright.”

  “It’s all your fault, Nikki.”

  “Stop calling me that.”

  “Not until you agree to go out with me.”

  She growled. “Fine. Damn it. If that makes you happy, then you can pick me up at 7:00 PM. And it’s not a date.”

  “It is a date, Nikki. See you later.” I hung up the phone, as happy as ever.

  Now where shall we go? Or maybe I should have asked her where she wanted to go? Anyway, we can decide it later.