She had set her hand on my chest. I bit her. I hurt her. Yet, she wanted me back. I thought I had no name but I did. My name is Evander. She’s mine, my wolf, my mate, my alpha. I opened my eyes. The memory was gone. But here she was, asleep.

  I whined, turning to lick her face. She tasted like salt and ashes. Rain came from her eyes. I licked it up. I felt pain when her eyes rained. I licked her cheek free of salt, tasting her for the first time. She made a hissing sound. I had my paw laid over her hurt paw. I moved it, whining at how I hurt her more.

  I licked my lips, trying to place where I tasted her before. The first time, I knew she was my mate. We were in a house. We sat on a large bed. I called her mine. She was mine. She called me hers.

  Zuri, my mind jolted. Zuri was her name. I whined, nudging her with my nose. I remembered her name. My mate was Zuri. I was Evander. Memories collided against my head. It hurt.

  I closed my eyes, snuggling up against my mate. I remembered going to get her. She was lost in the woods along the river. I found her being chased by fae. I saved her. And then she saved me. She saved me from the former alpha Royan. She saved me from kludde as we ran through a different forest. She was always there for me - loving and loyal. She was my alpha female.

  My body convulsed. I shook without knowing how or why. I closed my eyes, hoping it blocked out the pain I felt. Everything hurt from the tips of my ears to my tail. I sucked in a breath, laying on the floor. My eyes stared wide open at the stone ceiling. My mate woke with a jolt, holding me tight. Her brown eyes locked on mine, stroking the side of my face.

  “Shift,” she urged, tears falling off the tip of her nose. “Please shift.”

  I closed my eyes again, focusing on the part of me that demanded to be let out. My body shook, tingling all over as if I had been left in the snow to die. I gasped. All the air rushed out of me and came back in sharply. My mind went eerily dark like each side was battling for control and didn’t want me to witness my demise as it decided for me. But I decided for myself.

  I wanted my mate. I wanted my Zuri, to go back to her, to never again be parted from her. To have a life and grow old with only her, and watch our children have children of their own. A spark of light came across the right field of vision, lighting up an array of colors duller than the wolfish side of me.

  “Evander,” my mate’s soft voice pleaded, cracking with the emotion she tried to hide. “Shift, babe. You have to decide if you want me or the wolf.”

  Her soft hands pressed into my fur. I struggled against the thrashing of my body, desiring to only be held and loved forever by her. It’s all I wanted. All I would ever need was her love. I closed my eyes, willing my heart and the mate-bond to go back to her. I wanted nothing else. I solely wanted her for eternity.

  My back arched. I closed my eyes at the pain. Silver threading light came across my field of vision and became brighter, blindly so I opened my eyes to escape it. The light was brighter still, fading softly away to a dull twilight.

  Glancing around, stone walls and barred off areas met my gaze. I sat up confused as to why I was in the dungeon at Kyna castle. Sobbing came from behind me, sounding exactly like my mate.

  “Babe,” my voice rasped. “What has you down here crying?”

  “You,” she bit out, sobbing.

  I turned around, seeing her sitting on the ground with her knees pulled up tight against her chest. Her left hand was bandaged in white gauze and a protective purple covering it. I grimaced, wondering who the fuck hurt my mate. Zuri stopped sobbing long enough to lift her head up and look at me.

  Dark circles made themselves known under her red, puffy eyes. Tears stained one side of her dirty cheek. Her sunflower blonde hair was mussed, piled in tangles on top of her head in something I heard her once call a bun. She shook uncontrollably, quaking with it though her teeth didn’t chatter.

  She sniffed, launching herself at me from her seated position. “Evander,” she cried, wrapping her arms around my neck so tightly I was being lovingly strangled.

  I embraced her back, positioning her on my lap. Her legs wrapped around my midsection tightly, squeezing me in fear of me disappearing. I was never going to go anywhere without her. I held her close to me, relishing the heat of her body. I inhaled her guava, honey, and vanilla scent. My fingers wove themselves through her hair. The feeling of her under my fingertips sent shivers of love and lust through my body. This woman was all I would ever need in this life. Everything in me thrived to be hers.

  “Honey,” I said softly, my voice throbbing from emotion and pain. I wiped the remaining tears away with a stroke of my thumb, “Let’s get outta here.”

  “I love you,” she cried, pulling back and raining kisses on my face. Her right hand wove itself into my hair, holding me against her with her one good hand. “Don’t ever do that again or I will kill you myself with or without chocolate.”

  I laughed. “What are you going on about? What did I do that you had me locked in the dog house?”

  Zuri wiped her eyes with her right hand. I scowled, wondering why her left was wrapped. Whatever happened, seemed to do a number on her emotionally, she was still quaking from it all.

  “Don’t you remember?” she asked, meeting my gaze.

  I shook my head. “Last I recall, I was headed to Kadia Castle to get you back from the fuckin’ dragons.”

  “You went too far into your shift. You bit me. You went after Bertok. We had to bind and muzzle you to get you back here so I could figure out how to pull you out,” she choked. “If I even could. And if I couldn’t-”

  My heart broke. She couldn't even finish her sentence. But she didn’t need to. My throat constricted, understanding the gravity of what she would have to do if she couldn't pull me out of the shift. I still didn't know how she was able to pull me out. The only reasoning I could come up with was the mate-bond. I figured she went into that bond and called to the part of me that was lost.

  My muscles ached. My entire body felt stiff and drained. Yet, I never felt more relieved to have her in my arms, to be back in her presence. Fresh tears coursed down her cheeks. I held her close to me, lifting her in my arms despite the ache. I just couldn’t let go, not ever, after knowing the gravity of what she almost had to do. I carried her out of the dungeon, up the steps and out into the hallway behind the dining hall.

  “I'm so sorry baby,” I whispered. “I will never lose myself in a shift again. Just the fear of losing you, of not being able to be there and save you, or our baby, sent me over the edge,” I explained, carrying her into the dining hall.

  She finally stopped sobbing, but she clung to me with her good hand. My stomach dropped, hurting her was a regret I would carry with me forever. I never meant to. I was afraid to ask how much damage I even did to her.

  I kissed the side of her head, letting my lips linger. I inhaled the scent of her fruity perfume mixed in with the ashes of whatever she’d done. My lips made their own trail to hers, claiming hers in such a sweet, intoxicating relief. I held her kiss against my lips for the longest time, cherishing the emotions and the power of it. Her kisses were all I needed to keep me alive.

  “Is the baby ok?” I whispered.

  She nodded. “Yeah,” her strained voice choked out. “I had an ultrasound with the pack doctor. The baby is just fine and growing happily.”

  I kissed her again. Even if her kisses could keep me alive, I was still starving for food. And given how Zuri was, not wanting to leave my side, she was probably hungry as well.

  My pack stopped what they were doing, staring at me like I had just come back from the dead. I went to the first table in front of me, setting Zuri down. Her body shook; no doubt from all the emotions and the turbulence of not knowing what to do about me. I looked around for a blanket to cover her with. I spied one in the corner and grabbed it, draping it over her shoulders. I slid an empty glass in front of her, pouring her some water from the pitcher on the table.

  I kept a hand on her shoulder, staring at the pack inside the room. My eyes landed on Bertok and Molner. I winced at their hard stares. Without a doubt I deserved it all after what I put her through. I deserved their hardness toward me. An alpha was never meant to lose control, yet I did.

  “I'm sorry,” I announced, my voice carrying in the silence of the room. “Having her taken from me, and the baby, it sent me over the edge. I deeply and-”

  I cut myself off. Eyes once hard and hateful turned surprised. I glanced down at Zuri’s flushed cheeks. She sipped the water, staring at the table. I gazed around the dining hall room. Smiles and quick glances to those my pack was standing beside made me nervous.

  “I deeply and humbly apologize. There are no words I could use to describe how sorry I am for what I’ve done, only I vow to never do it again.”

  “She’s pregnant!” Molner’s wife Darra screeched.

  “Yeah,” Zuri replied.

  “What the fuck, bud!” Bertok grouched. “Why didn’t we know?”

  “Yeah!” Molner chimed. “What the fuck!”

  I glanced at Zuri, feeling like a gaping fish. They’re not pissed that I went too far into my shift, they’re pissed they didn’t know Zuri was pregnant, I thought, trying to wrap my head around the sense of it. I was relieved in a sense that they didn’t demand for me to be overthrown as alpha. I raked my free hand through my hair, wondering what to do or say next. It was overwhelming to come out of the shift I was stuck in, and didn’t remember, only to have the pack come together in solidarity for me and my mate.

  Zuri patted my hand. “Ok babe, thinking is supposed to hurt you, not me,” she said, removing my hand from her shoulder. She turned toward the pack, “I’m sorry I kept it from you all. I just wanted to be sure I was pregnant with me being a zaglis and all..”

  Her and I glanced at each other when the surprised stares faded back to pissed glares. I had no idea what to say or do. I couldn’t deduce whether they were mad at me for losing self control, biting her hand, or her being pregnant. Maybe they were angry at all of it.

  “Again, I’m very sorry,” I said to the pack.

  Darra waved a hand like she was swatting away my words. “Alpha, when is the baby due?”

  “I dunno,” Zuri shrugged. “Whenever it wants to come out.”

  “Well, is it a zaglis or a wolf,” Molner said, draping an arm around his wife. “Or do you not know?”

  Zuri pursed her lips and shrugged more. “I don’t know. Whatever the baby is, is more than fine with me.”

  “Do you have a crib? Clothes? Anything? What do you need, alpha?” Another pack member asked, stepping forward.

  Zuri and I glanced at each other. I blinked. Despite what I had put the pack and my mate through, they still looked to me as alpha. In a quick spanse, they had forgiven me and were excited for the baby. I sat down at the table, too tired to stand and too grateful to think. I grinned, closing my eyes to the relief feeling of being back with my mate and pack. My head hung against my chest. I breathed deep, sniffing. I was so grateful, so lucky to have such a mate as Zuri and a loving, accepting pack.

  “Alpha,” Bertok’s deep voice boomed, “have you and Zuri decided on any names?”

  My head snapped up, turning toward my friend. “Owen for a boy and Morrigan for a girl.”

  The women in the pack collectively ‘awww’ed at the names. I grinned. The pack got back to the tasks they were previously doing like nothing was ever amiss and I was never gone. Bertok, Molner, and Darra took a seat across from me and my mate, grinning happily.

  “We should make a nursery!” Darra said excitedly.

  A plate of food was slid in front of me. I thanked whoever it was with a smile and a dip of my head. I ate quickly and silently. I peeked at my mate out of the corner of my eye. She looked exhausted, hardly eating anything. All of a sudden, Zuri slumped against me with her head against my shoulder, and sighed. I refrained from moving whether she was asleep or not. I smirked, figuring she was.

  My eyes landed on Bertok and he nodded.

  “She’s asleep,” he said.

  I bit the inside of my bottom lip, wondering what I had done to her yet scared to know how bad it was. I closed my eyes and sighed. I knew I hurt her. Memories tricked back softly. She had reached out to touch me and I bit her hand, shaking it in my jaws. Seeing her hand all bandaged now filled me with more regret that I could even express.

  “What did I do?” I asked softly.

  “You went fuckin’ nuts, bud,” Bertok replied.

  Molner nodded, looking between Bertok and myself. “Any semblance of the former you was lost. Even your eyes changed. You went deep into that shift.”

  “You bit Zuri so badly, she lost fingers,” Bertok added. “Her magic nor the pack doctor could help save them.”

  “Fuck,” I breathed, tears welling up in my eyes.

  I wiped them away. I wrapped an arm around her, holding her close while tears tracked down my face. How she still loved me, I didn’t know. I surely didn’t deserve her love. I wiped the tears away, not wanting to meet the gaze of my friends.

  I was so blinded by rage and fear of losing her, of never being able to see her again, I lost all control. I lost myself to the wolf. I sat there and wept as I held my sleeping mate against me. Tears splattered in her disheveled blonde hair. I kept my lips pressed against her head as I cried. Never again would I lose myself. Never again would I have her be so fearful and worried for me.

  “We understand Evander,” Molner said quietly as Bertok nodded. “So does Zuri. Any one of us would have done the same.”

  “Agreed,” Darra’s soft voice chimed. “We still love you. We still want you as alpha. We’re just happy you’re back.”

  “Thank you,” I breathed.

  I was beyond grateful to be back in the pack, but more so to be with my mate. I glanced around the dining hall at the happy faces. The relief and feeling of community inside this room, prickled my skin. Without anyone having to say anything, I knew the dragon mess was dealt with. From the sheer tenacity of my mate to the wholeness of the pack, everything was handled.

  “How did you pull yourself out?” Bertok asked. “Or better yet, what did Zuri do?”

  I shook my head, smirking slightly. I still couldn't rightly recall what she did. I knew she was inside of me. She saw my wolf, spoke to it, trying to get it to remember we were the same yet different. I bit my bottom lip, racking my brain for the memory locked inside.

  “I don’t know. She used her magic to speak to me, reminding me. It was like, all of a sudden, I knew who I was, who she was, and I wanted to come back to her.”

  “Mate-bond,” Darra and Molner said together.

  “It’s a powerful damn thing,” Molner continued, hugging Darra close to him. “It’s wholeness to an entirely new level that’s merely unexplainable.”

  I nodded. “She saved my ass, yet again.”

  Bertok laughed. “Good thing you’re not keeping score.”

  Zuri rose groggily from her half hour power nap, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She turned to me, lips pursed out and her brown eyes hidden by heavy lids. I rose from my seat, gathering her in my arms. She nestled against me, flopping her head against my chest and continued to sleep.

  “I’ll see ya’ll at dinner,” I said.

  I carried her out of the dining hall toward our bedroom. A pack member strode down the hallway toward me, quickly getting our bedroom door for me before pressing on to his destination. I walked in, kicking it shut behind me.

  The room was as we left it a few days ago. The bed was made. Her clothes lay in a pile on the floor by the bedside table. I carried her to the bed, laying her on top. She nestled herself down, turning on her side, facing the side where I slept. I covered her with a blanket, tucking it in around her.

  With a sigh, I plopped down on the bed beside her. Instantly, I felt tired and drained yet my body refused to allow me to sleep. I turned on my side, staring at my beautiful wife. I swept her blonde hair off her face. My fingers craved the feel of her skin against mine, and I relished the softness of her.

  This badass, daring, loving, loyal woman was everything and more to me than I could rightly say. I was damned lucky.

  “I love you, Puppers,” she whispered, snuggling closer.

  “I love you too, babe.”

  I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her against me. Her left hand draped across my chest. Her head lay in the crook of my arm. She nuzzled her head against me, sighing contentedly.

  “Do that again, I will make sure chocolate can kill you,” she mumbled.

  I pressed my lips against the top of her head to hide the smirk. My lips lingered, content and happy to have her wrapped tight in my arms. I was never letting go. And never doing that again, knowing full well, she meant it.

  ONE YEAR LATER…

  ZURI

  I blew my lips, annoyed that it was taking forever for Evander to emerge from the bathroom. We were already late to Orlin and Resi’s son’s birthday. All Evander had to do was put on a pretty brown and orange flannel button down and off we teleported to the party. Yet, he was in there, grumbling about wearing something other than his typical gray or black shirt with dark denim jeans.

  The outfit we’d shopped for, that he even picked out himself, looked really sexy on him. I loved him in flannels. The numerous colors made his eyes pop. Currently, I matched him in a dark, burnt orange maxi-dress that made it easy to breastfeed when I needed to. I crossed my right leg over my knee, bouncing my foot impatiently.

  I sighed. I turned from my spot on the bed to peek inside the car seat carrier. Carefully, I pulled back the covering to look at Morrigan. The sweet little sprite was sound asleep, binky in her mouth. A mop of brown curly hair was held up by a little white bow. I rummaged through the diaper bag on the floor, ensuring I had enough for several diaper changes, and clothes in case of her typical afternoon blowout.

  Luell trotted inside the room, going straight for her cat house in the corner behind the bedroom door. She climbed up, going inside her little lookout with her tail twitching angrily. I grinned. Luell probably tried to get at the sprites in the garden again and got zapped by their magic. My kitty mewled, flopping onto her back and clawing at the top of her house.