Oh, my god.

  Squinting, I try my best to find Luca without it being obvious, but the lights are too bright.

  “That’s a great question, and one that isn’t asked often enough,” Tripp responds. “Maintaining the balance between work and family is a top priority. I’m eager to serve my country, and luckily, God has blessed me with a wife who shares that same desire. I think the best piece of advice I can give you is for you to find a partner who shares your beliefs and ambitions. My wife,” he says, turning and motioning in my direction, “is a great example of what a partner should be. Supportive, patient, encouraging, and loyal are only a few of her many wonderful attributes. This isn’t an easy job, but with her by my side, it doesn’t seem so insurmountable.”

  The crowd applauds his complete fabrication of the truth, and stupid me, I clap right along with them. If only his words actually meant something.

  He takes a few more questions before thanking the crowd and reminding them of the reception being held afterward.

  Tripp walks over to me, takes my hand, and when I stand, we kiss. As always, it’s tight-lipped and meant for the audience rather than me. I congratulate him, and we both wave to the crowd as we step down from the stage and to where Olivia is waiting for us.

  As she leads us over to the reception, she briefs Tripp on something I couldn’t care less about because I’m too distracted as I scan the room for Luca.

  When we arrive at the reception, Tripp and I take our places to greet the students, some of whom I already know. I’m a nervous wreck, hoping to God that Luca went home and isn’t here, but all hope is lost when I spot him in the far corner of the room with Emma by his side.

  Ice drips down the nerves of my spinal cord and a freeze. Voices around me dull into a muted echo, and I become lightheaded. Emma and Luca talk, but the moment she looks in my direction, I sway, shuffling back a few steps.

  “What is wrong with you?” Eloise scolds harshly behind her tight lips. “Pull yourself together.”

  I can’t. Emma locks eyes with me, and I panic.

  Is this the moment? Is she going to say something here?

  Suddenly, the urgency to run consumes me, but there’s no escaping.

  My heart thumps so low and so heavy that it can be felt in the pit of my stomach, and I can’t stop fidgeting.

  “Is everything okay?” Tripp whispers, his voice chilling me even more.

  No. Everything is not okay. I’m about to go down in flames, and so is this whole campaign.

  With a forced smile, I lie, “I skipped breakfast. I think my blood sugar may be a little low.”

  “Olivia,” Tripp calls. “Would you mind getting Carly a small plate of food?”

  “Of course,” she replies, not even looking up from whatever she’s typing on her phone before she turns on her heel and disappears into the crowd.

  When I look back to Emma, Luca is whispering something in her ear. She glances my way, says something back to him, and then leaves the reception as he starts making his way over to where I’m standing.

  A multitude of thoughts collide in my head. I should’ve called Emma to get those pictures, but I’ve been in such a panic these past few days I haven’t been able to think clearly. Plus, I’ve been in complete damage-control mode with Tripp, trying to get back into his good graces.

  Eloise takes ahold of my cold, clammy hand. “For Christ’s sake, what is the matter with you?”

  I don’t pay her any attention, though. I’m too busy having a silent fit of terror.

  “Mr. Montgomery, it’s nice to meet you,” Luca says, his tone light and unburdened as he extends a hand to my husband.

  My lungs constrict, and like a noose around my neck, I’m finding it hard to take in a decent breath.

  I can’t move.

  I can’t speak.

  As I look on in horror, my gut twists so tightly, I have to bite back the piercing pain. Luca’s eyes meet mine, and I have to grab on to Tripp’s hand to keep my knees from giving way. Before he can say anything, Olivia approaches with a plate of food and does a double take at Luca.

  “I didn’t know you were going to be here,” she says. The two of them clearly know each other.

  She hands me the plate, and I whisper a jittery, “Thank you,” because I can’t find my voice.

  Luca gives her a curt nod before excusing himself, and I have to rush off to the restroom before I collapse in front of everyone. Eloise huffs as I push by her and make a beeline to the bathroom. I lock myself in a stall and sit on the edge of the toilet, lowering my head down to my knees.

  Luca knows Olivia.

  Olivia knows Luca.

  Holy shit!

  The realization that this is even worse than I expected barrels down on me. If Olivia knows Luca, then she must know Emma too.

  What the hell is going on?

  A sheen of cold sweat coats my forehead and neck, and my hands shake beyond my control. I have no clue what I’m going to do, but this is bigger than anything I’m able to combat.

  I’m screwed.

  Plain and simple—I’m completely screwed!

  Emma

  It’s strange, the shift that’s taken place these past few days. I’m not even sure how I feel about everything, but it’s clear that my gaining the upper hand was right move.

  Establishing Luca as a client seeking help for the very issues that plague her was easy enough to come up with. I told Luca all the things Carly had revealed to me about her upbringing, her marriage, and how her marriage unraveled so that he could be someone she could relate to. We felt that was the best route to take to bring her insecurities and emotions to the surface so that he could more easily take advantage of her. Throwing in the offer of smoking pot with him was his idea. I didn’t think it would work, but eventually she took the bait.

  When he left to use the restroom, he was really unlocking the door for me. I waited outside her office until I could hear them. Honestly, as I waited, I had no feelings flowing through me, not even nerves. To have so many emotions and not be able to sense a single one was a little disturbing. It was as if I was so shocked that I could be that callus that my brain refused to acknowledge it.

  It wasn’t until the following morning, that I felt it—the jealousy of Luca having sex with her, the fear of taking this game to a very dangerous level, and the unease that came with my not entirely recognizing myself.

  What’s done is done, so there is only one way left to go: forward.

  I’ve been sitting on the photos because Luca thought it would be best for us to lie low for a bit, allow her panic to breed with paranoia and hammer in the fact that I now have the upper hand.

  Luca insisted that I go with him to the university today to hear Tripp speak. I didn’t want to, but after what we had done, we both thought it would be the perfect opportunity to twist the knife in a little deeper. Again, I felt numb listening to Tripp speak, hearing his voice, and seeing Carly so pulled together at his side. Anyone on the outside wouldn’t suspect that her marriage was dangling by a withered thread. She’s a good actress, but that’s all it is—an act.

  After, he wanted me to stay and go up to Tripp and Carly so we could freak the both of them out. I couldn’t do it and ended up feigning a headache before leaving. The walk home gave me an opportunity to think, and by the time I climbed into bed, I’d come to the decision that it was time to press Carly for the money she said she would get me.

  Hours later, the front door opens, and I sit up in bed, watching as Luca comes straight into my room.

  “What happened?” I ask when he sits next to me, propping one of my pillows behind his back.

  “She freaked out when I spoke to her husband; her face went pale. But it gets better.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Olivia was there. Carly flipped when she saw that the two of us knew each other. She literally ran off, so I think it’s safe to say that she’s losing her shit.”

  I nod, feeling a swell of despondency come over me, and he picks up on it.

  “Are you okay? I thought that would make you happy.”

  “I thought it would too.”

  “This is what you wanted, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  His eyes scan my face as I sit here, expressionless. “Hey,” he says gently, giving my arm a light tug so that I scoot to face him. “What’s going on?”

  My first instinct is to push him away, but then I feel the tug, the same tug that’s been pulling me closer to him these past few weeks.

  “Will you talk to me?”

  “It just feels weird.”

  “What does?”

  “Me,” I confess. “I feel weird . . . as if I’ve lost myself.” My eyes fall from him and when they return, I step out of my comfort zone and open up a little more. “I feel really lost right now. I know that I’m not, that I have you, but it’s still how I feel.”

  “I hate that you’re feeling this way. But you do have me. I’m in this with you now, okay?”

  “No, it isn’t okay. I should never have involved you, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Are you second-guessing this?”

  “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

  “All we have to do is delete the pictures and forget it ever happened. Walk away. The money situation we can figure out later.”

  “I can’t just walk away, Luca. I have to see this through—for my brother and myself. I’m just having a hard time becoming this person I barely recognize.”

  Reaching out, he slips his hand along the side of my neck. The touch soothes.

  “This doesn’t change who you are, Emma. You’re still the same girl I met three years ago.”

  “I’m not,” I murmur.

  “You are.” He pulls me closer to him. “This world ripped the rug out from under your feet, and you’re doing what you have to do to adjust. Look, I’m not saying I agree with this.” With a subtle flinch, he adds, “I’ll be honest with you, I don’t like the thought of you sleeping with that man, but I’ll never judge you for it and I’ll never use it against you.” His other hand comes to my face, and he holds me in his palms. “I’m here, and I’ll walk this path with you so you don’t have to do it alone.”

  Leaning forward, I rest my head against his chest as he folds his arms around me, lowering us down on the bed. I want to tell him everything, tell him every detail, but as tempting as it is to be completely transparent with him, I can’t—I don’t know how. So, I bury it and let it be in order to protect myself. Let’s face it, I have my issues, and trust is a big one.

  “I won’t let you lose yourself,” he says. “And if you feel like you are, then you come to me.”

  “How can you be okay with all this?”

  “Because it’s you.”

  Drawing back, I look up into his eyes as he stares intently into mine.

  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” he says.

  His words loop around my heart and pull it right next to his, and it’s in this very moment that I find the peace I’ve been lacking. His touch calms my anxiety like balm to a wound, and I can finally feel something—the fall of my heart into his. It’s a powerful emotion that washes over me, taking me by surprise as it floods my system, and out of nowhere, my eyes water. I’m not one to break easily in front of others, but having him hold me instead of running away is beyond what a girl like me deserves.

  Tears fill my eyes, mottling Luca into kaleidoscopic waves of color. I want to say something, anything, but the weight of what he makes me feel leaves me speechless.

  Watching this shift in me, his brows furrow in concern. “What is it?” he questions, ghosting his thumb along the crest of my cheek.

  “Are you sure about your feelings for me?”

  Beyond my fear that we’ll screw this all up is an even bigger fear of not having him love me. I didn’t think I needed his love before, but I do, because it’s him. He’s the only one who’s been able to slip between the cracks of my heart.

  “I never would’ve told you if I weren’t. I know we’re both scared, but I want this—with you.” He shifts down in the bed to meet me at eye level. “Tell me you feel the same because this limbo we’ve been in is killing me.”

  It’s been killing me too, so I run my hand along his jaw, and with all my honesty, I admit, “I want this too.”

  With that, he kisses me, slow and still, pressing his lips against mine. His arms tighten around my body, and as my heart untangles, I relax, softening into his hold. I move my lips, needing more, and he freely gives it. His kisses scorch my lips, and when he glides his tongue along mine, tingles race up my spine.

  We’ve only kissed a couple of times before, but never like this. He moves over me, and my hands get lost in his hair when he drags his lips down my neck and along my collarbone. Goose bumps lick my skin when he slides his hand beneath the hem of my top, up my stomach, and cups my breast. I arch to feel more of his touch.

  I’ve never desired a man’s hands like I do his, and being with him is unlike all the others before. Never were emotions attached, but now they are, and I don’t want to imagine sharing this with anyone else but Luca.

  He unhooks my bra from under my top, and when he sits back on his heels, he pulls me up with him. My eyes tether to his as I lift my arms, a silent invitation for him to undress me, and he does. Slipping my top off, he pulls my bra with it, tossing them both to the floor. His eyes cascade down my body, taking in every inch of my exposed skin for the first time. No one has ever looked at me the way he is right now—as if I’m something special to be valued. I’m not, but it feels good regardless.

  He pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it aside, adding it to the pile. I meet his stance, adjusting to sit on my heels, and guide his hand back to my body. My breath kicks hard as we sit in silence, staring into each other’s eyes. Seconds that feel infinite pass, melting pieces of me that this past year has hardened into ice.

  I blink, and when a tear falls, his lips land along its dewy trail. He lowers me back down onto the mattress and kisses me slowly and thoroughly as the rest of our clothes are slipped from our bodies. With each item removed, I grow restless to have more of him—his heat, his touch, his power to calm and make the world right again, if only for tonight.

  He touches my softest parts as if they were sacred, loving me in a way I didn’t think he was capable of. The room fills with my shallow gasps of pleasure, and when the heat of his tongue tastes me for the first time, I lose all focus. Gripping the sheets in my fists, I writhe beneath him.

  I reach down to grab on to his head, but he catches my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. As he loses himself between my thighs, he holds my hand tightly in his. My head lifts, and I open my eyes. He’s entirely consumed, and as much as I want to watch him, the sensations become too much, and my head falls back onto the pillow.

  His mouth is still on me when I hear the rip of the condom wrapper, and when he finally draws back, he spreads my legs wider. My eyes flutter open to see him staring down at me. He takes himself in his hand, and I watch as he pushes inside me.

  I moan as he fills me, and when his head falls into the crook of my neck, he breathes a heady, “I love you.”

  It’s as if everything beyond the two of us ceases to exist. He touches me in ways a woman could only dream of—with passion and purpose. He gives it freely when I am so undeserving. Yet, somewhere beneath all my vile behavior is a fragment of purity I thought was long gone until he unearthed it. So, I give it to him, handing it over with my heart as well, because he’s the only one I want to give them to.

  I’d give him so much more if I could.

  Right now, I can’t, but one day, I will.

  For now, I give him all I can as our bodies move together in a way I never could’ve predicted.

  “I love you so much,” I breathe through the unbounding pleasure he’s giving, and then he kisses me, stealing the words off my lips and swallowing them so they can find their home within him where they’re safe. Because that’s what Luca is—he’s my one true place of safety, accepting me for all I am, loving me when I feel so unlovable.

  With each pump of his hips, he breathes life into my soul, reminding me that I’m still alive and that I’m loved and that, maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

  For the first time since my parents’ death, I believe him.

  Emma

  Naked and warm, Luca holds me in his arms. The two of us just woke up to a snow-filled morning. I thought it would be weird, but it’s the furthest thing from it. There’s no awkwardness between us; it just feels right.

  His hand runs along the length of my spine, and I tangle my legs with his as large flakes fall outside my window. Lazily, we kiss, his lips soft against mine. Being with Luca last night wasn’t what I had expected. Never did I imagine him being as loving as he was—fervent but in the gentlest way.

  Afterward, he confessed how different that was for him. It was different for me too, but the two of us have only ever had casual hookups. I can’t even begin to explain how right it felt being with him.

  When I sense him hardening against me, we shift to our sides and he drapes my leg over his hip. I say nothing as I reach down, not wanting to interrupt this moment to grab a condom, and guide him inside me. We’re silent aside from our heavy sighs as he sinks deeper. We’re skin on skin, entirely vulnerable to each other, yet I’ve never felt more secure than what I do right now.

  In no rush for this to end, we move slowly as we quietly make love and explore each other’s bodies. His breath is all over my skin, and I crave more. With my hands pressing into his strong muscular back, he flexes his arms around me tighter, pulling me closer against him. I shut my eyes and get lost in the rhythm of his body. Time vanishes into blank space as the world around me swims out of focus. The longer we make love, the more eager we become, picking up the pace, grabbing on to each other, and growing louder. The room spins, and when I open my eyes, he’s right there, his damp forehead pressed against mine.