“He’s badly wounded, but he is still alive!” Vo shouted, as if that was some kind of a victory.

  “And the enemy?”

  “They’ve gone. We heard men running in the distance, but they were too far away to follow.”

  “Fuck.” He watched as they tended to the wounded man, Private Dao, and Vo offered to take two men and lead them to the nearest dressing station.

  “No. We follow orders and keep going.”

  “Carrying a wounded man?”

  He shrugged wearily. “Lieutenant, what difference does it make? The way things are going, we’ll all be dead before much longer. All we have left is to follow orders.”

  Or to slip away during the night and head toward the border. I could even reach Thailand. I’ve heard Bangkok is a city where a man can earn a living without having to endure the horrors of war. A city alive with color and music, bars and women. A place where a man can forget.

  Should I leave? It’s tempting, but these men still rely on me, and I can’t desert them. Not until the end, but if many more die because of the stupidity of our commanders, perhaps I will think again. Bangkok is very tempting.

  * * *

  We stopped after the first klick and dived off the track to hide in the shadows of a huge tree with branches that hung down enough to hide us from any pursuit. The Viet that appeared from nowhere had almost killed us, and he would have succeeded if he’d been better trained. He’d fired first, but the muzzle of the AK-47 rose up when he squeezed the trigger on full auto, and his bullets shredded leaves and branches instead of human flesh.

  I fired at the same time as Massey, and our bullets punched into the enemy soldier. He could have been part of a much larger unit, and when Massey ran to make sure he was dead, I shouted at them to leave it.

  “There could be more of them, and when they hear the shooting, they’ll be here any moment. We’re getting out of here, now!”

  I didn’t wait for a reply, just ran. I had no idea where I was running, and in which direction. Just that there could be scores of enemy soldiers behind us, maybe in hot pursuit, and we needed to be out of that area as fast as we could run. Faster, if possible. Waiting beneath that huge tree, we listened intently, waiting for the guttural sound of a Vietnamese officer issuing orders to his men, but it never came. We waited for an hour, and still there was nothing. We were on our own. When the hour was up, I decided we’d missed them, and it was safe to go on.

  “Ray, take the point and keep walking along the track.”

  “How do you know it’s the right direction?”

  “It’s away from the NVAs, and right now that’s good enough for me. See where it goes. I estimate we’re heading north, and we need to reach the Combat Base, so we’ll be looking for a track that intersects to the east.”

  He gave me a look that was unfathomable. Like he had something on his mind, some plan or scheme, and if I hadn’t been so worried about the enemy behind us, maybe I would have given it more thought. More thought in the direction of the enemy ahead of us. Minh volunteered to accompany Ray Massey, in case his uniform and language skills became necessary. Brooke walked along with me, side-by-side, and first we didn’t speak to each other. I was thinking of what happened on Hill 871, and she seemed concerned her mind was also fixated on that event that was like a grenade exploding.

  After almost an hour, the silence was unbearable. We spotted Massey and Minh several times, and each time they signaled there was no sign of the enemy, and they waved us on to keep going. I checked in surprise when suddenly she spoke.

  “Carl, about what happened.”

  It was the first thing on my mind and the last, and all I could reply was, “Uh, huh.” Like the village idiot.

  “I wondered, kind of, if you were ready. After what happened, I mean. For another relationship.”

  After a single kiss? In the middle of a blood-soaked battlefield, surrounded by thousands of North Vietnamese soldiers whose aim in life is to kill us all? Does she know something I don’t? I don’t need to hold that thought for too long. She knows something I don’t.

  I gave her an answer, and it was the best I could do. Maybe not good enough, but hell, life was like that. “I’m not sure. Brooke, I think so, but she’s still on my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about her. If you want the truth, I don’t want to stop thinking about her.”

  “And I wouldn’t want you to do that. You loved her, probably more than life itself, and why shouldn’t you keep her in your mind? I guess what I’m saying is, do you have room in your mind, and in your heart, for someone not to replace her, but someone extra in your life? Someone else.”

  “Someone else?”

  Why was I answering her like a fool? Like a damned schoolboy, and I longed for my tongue to find the right words to reply to this girl who most men could only dream of, and I was almost fending her off.

  “Someone like me.”

  We stopped, and once again it was like an invisible magnetism that pulled us together, and on that jungle path, in the middle of Nowheresville, Shithole Central, we locked our lips. When we pulled away, I said simply, “I guess the answer is yes. But right now, we need to keep going. We’ll talk some more when we reach the base.”

  She returned a smile. “That suits me.”

  We walked on, and I knew something was wrong. We should have been there by now, and then the light started to fade, and I’d lost track of time and direction. Lost track of my senses, and when we turned the next corner in the winding, downhill path, Massey and Minh were waiting for us.

  “We’ve taken the wrong turn, and we’re heading in the wrong direction.”

  “Where are we?”

  “About two klicks from Lang Vei.”

  I felt like throttling him. He was an Army Ranger, and there was no way he didn’t know exactly where we were going. Minh was nodding and smiling.

  “Phan Dung. Now we are close.”

  “I don’t want to be close,” I growled, “I want to be back at Khe Sanh. We’ve already been through this, and I don’t need to remind you it’s a surefire way to get all of us killed. Ray, you know as well as I do it’s impossible. We’re American soldiers, and the moment they see us, we’ll have scores of AK-47s doing their best to turn us into colanders.”

  “You know what he did to our guys. The VC dressed as a civilian murdered them. Are we going to let them get away with it?”

  “They did get away with it. Those men are dead, and finding the perpetrator would be like finding a…”

  I stopped and felt choked. This was déjà vu. I’d been through it all before with Gracie and said the selfsame things. Like finding a needle in a haystack. A VC dressed as a civilian who threw a bomb and killed my wife.

  This is different. He threw a bomb at serving soldiers, but then again, is it different? He’d gone dressed as a civilian, like the bastard who killed Gracie. It isn’t so different. Fucking VC. I feel choked, confused, and I fully understood Ray’s thirst for revenge. Just like mine, blood for blood, and I could be inclined to go along with it. Except for something that’s recently entered my life. Something in the past few hours. Brooke.

  “It’s not going to happen, Ray. We’re heading back to Khe Sanh.”

  “Killing Phan Dung could save a lot of lives. A lot of our men will die if he launches human wave suicide attacks on the Combat Base.”

  “He’s one man,” I objected, “Even if we could kill him, there’d be a dozen more to step up and take his place.”

  Minh was shaking his head vehemently. “No, he is different. As determined to spill the blood of his own men as he is at the enemy. There is no other.”

  We stared at each other, and there was no solution either of us could see. Darkness fell, and we had little choice but to stay where we were. Otherwise, we may never see them and could blunder into the enemy. Besides, we needed to find our way to Khe Sanh. That meant daylight.

  We slept under the branches of the trees, and the insects did their best to eat us alive. Apart from the incessant bites, there were the jungle noises, the buzz and whine of insects, the occasional footfall of a large animal prowling through the darkness, and then there were the man-made noises. More shellfire, aircraft engines, bombs, and machine gun bullets. I couldn’t care less about any of them. I lay next to Brooke, and we held each other close. Even through my uniform I could feel the heat of her body, and smell the sweet scent of her, and for the first time in a long time I was at peace.

  Dawn came, and we all stripped off and did our best to beat the insects that had infested our clothes. We hadn’t encountered any snakes during the night, although Minh gleefully told us the tree branches were likely home to any number of snakes, so we were lucky. Our skin itched and irritated like crazy, and we didn’t feel lucky.

  I thought Ray Massey was about to speak, and I forestalled him. “We’re going back to Khe Sanh.”

  “Then you’ll be going without me. That bastard goes down. Minh, I want you with me to identify him.”

  I didn’t like it, releasing the prisoner to go off on some crazy kill mission. At any time, he could betray the Ranger, and I didn’t like to think how much intelligence he’d acquired in the time he’d been with us. A gift for the enemy, and I couldn’t allow it to happen. That was before Brooke said her piece.

  “Carl, I am a noncombatant, and this is none of my business.”

  “You’re right,” I snapped at her, “It’s none of your business.” I wanted her back in Khe Sanh, where at least she’d stand a chance of living, particularly if she got a flight out to Tan Son Nhut, “It’s none of your business,” I repeated lamely.

  “I haven’t finished!” her voice whipcracked at me, “You’re not thinking clearly, Carl. If this guy is as dangerous as they say, killing him could save countless American lives. It could also save Khe Sanh being overrun by a wave of terrified North Vietnamese soldiers, building a wall of corpses for their comrades to step over and walk into the base.”

  “She’s right,” Massey asserted, “What she described is exactly what could happen with this homicidal maniac forcing his troops to attack at gunpoint. You can imagine, the poor bastards having to advance into the guns and guns pointed at their backs if they stall.”

  “I don’t know…”

  Brooke clinched the argument, and like women the world over, she knew how to have the last word. “What would Gracie have wanted?”

  I didn’t answer, couldn’t answer.

  What am I, an Army Investigator, a Vietnam vet, doing here lost in the steaming jungle of Vietnam? I had a prisoner to take back to Saigon, until MacArthur put a bullet in his head. I had two murders that appeared to be linked, that could undermine morale, and yet I’m getting further and further away from my investigation. There’s no way to sugarcoat what they’re saying. A kill mission, sneak through the enemy lines, put a bullet into this Major Phan Dung, and hopefully get out alive. Ridiculous.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “You didn’t answer me. What would Gracie want you to do?”

  We shut up then and lay flat on the musty soil beneath the tree, giving the insects another chance to eat us alive. The alternative was for the NVA patrol that came past to see us and shred us with automatic fire. They came from the direction of Lang Vei, and I’ve rarely seen such a bunch of filthy, ragged, and demoralized men. Platoon strength, twenty men, and a burly sergeant was pushing them along. He carried a heavy, long cane, and when anyone dawdled, he smacked it across their legs, their buttocks or their backs. He hit a man on the head, and the unfortunate soldier plummeted to the ground almost next to where we lay. Without a word, several of the soldiers picked him up and kept on moving. Numb. Resigned.

  I’d got a closer look at them when they came back for him, and their faces were shocking. The faces of men starved of nutrients, starved of hope. Lined, wrinkled, old before their time, and they moved like automatons.

  When they’d gone past, Minh explained who they were. “They’ll be a unit of the punishment battalion, and when a main attack goes in, they send them in front to take the brunt of the enemy fire. It’s the way he works.”

  He didn’t need to say who ‘he’ was. Phan Dung. The man who sent living corpses into battle, and the only uncertainty they faced was the date and time of their death. Hours or days. No more. The man who’d sent a VC bomber in civilian clothes to murder the Special Forces at Lang Vei. Like the treacherous killer who’d murdered Gracie.

  I wasn’t aware I’d said anything, but the words tumbled out of my mouth. “Bury him.”

  Massey had been staring at me, waiting on my reply, and he relaxed. “That’s the right decision. You won’t regret it.”

  “I already am.”

  He grinned. “We can only do this at night. We’ll have to stay here through the day, and I’ll sneak in after dark and recce the target area. You never know, I may get a chance to put a bullet in the bastard, and it will be all over.”

  Except we need to get back to Khe Sanh Combat Base, and that won’t be easy. Then again, nothing in this battle is easy. It never is, and the Siege of Khe Sanh is a special hell.

  We waited through the long day, and all around us the battle raged. Bombs falling from marauding aircraft, shells whizzing from the North Vietnamese artillery sited across the border in Laos, and our own artillery at Khe Sanh replying to the constant salvos. Once we saw another napalm strike, and having been on the edge of the previous strike, it made for feelings of horror. The recipients may have been enemies, but as methods of dying went, it was surely the worst.

  Brooke spent the day with me, chatting about her career as a reporter, and she talked about a possible future should we survive Khe Sanh and get back to the States. I was less than sanguine about the prospect. We were inside the inferno, a place of death, and survival seemed like a distant hope. I had to broach a subject I hadn’t wanted to and waited for the right moment to put it to her.

  “You know Massey is going into Lang Vei to locate Phan.”

  “Yes, I know. It’s a terrible risk. I believe Minh will be going with him.”

  “That was the suggestion, yes, but I don’t believe it’s a good one. We can’t be one hundred percent confident about Minh. He could betray him at any moment.”

  Her eyes widened. “But surely he’s proved himself several times. Like when we met that NVA soldier. His friends were so close we could hear them, and he could have called a warning, but he didn’t.”

  “That’s true, but he’s had one change of heart about the Communists, what’s to stop him having another?”

  “You’re saying Massey should go alone?”

  “No, not alone.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Carl, you’re not suggesting what I think you are?”

  “He has to have someone to watch his back, Brooke. I’m a soldier, and my duty is to go with him.”

  “You’re an Army Investigator, it’s different. You’re not a combat soldier.”

  “I was, and I’m part of the same army. There’s no option. This is what I signed up for.”

  “It isn’t what you signed up for! You’re a cop.”

  “I won’t argue this. All I can say is I’ll be going with him. You stay here with Minh and keep an eye on him.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” She was shaking her head in anger, “If you do this you’ll die. You won’t come back. Dammit, Carl, the one good thing to come out of this mess, and you’re determined to destroy it.”

  I wasn’t so sure about calling a major battle a mess. Probably the biggest siege in living memory, certainly since Stalingrad in the Second World War. Besides, in the past plenty of people have written me off as dead, including an unknown perpetrator at Khe Sanh, who’d positioned the booby trap outside our bunker.

  I pulled her toward me and wrapped my arms around her. “I’ll be coming back. You can count on it.”

  “You’re sure?”

  I tried to make light of it. “Sure, and sure. When this is over, it will be another story for you to post, and you’ll be famous.”

  “I don’t want to be famous. I want us to both get home alive.”

  “We’ll get home alive.”

  She didn’t believe me, how could she, but she wanted to be reassured, and I felt her relax. After a short time, I left her to slide next to Massey so we could talk in low tones without being overheard. Not by her, by Minh, or by any passing NVA soldiers.

  “What’s the plan for Lang Vei?”

  “There is no plan. I’ll slip in after dark and see if I can locate him. Minh could be helpful if we need someone to divert attention and make the enemy look the other way.”

  I told him Minh wouldn’t be going with him. “You need someone to watch your back, Ray. Minh could put a bullet in it.”

  “He won’t have live ammunition.”

  “He won’t have any ammunition, because he won’t be coming with you. I will.”

  “You?”

  “I’m not exactly a rookie, Ray. I may not be a Ranger, but I’ve fired a few shots in my time, and I’m always up for firing a few more.”

  He glanced toward Brooke and back at me. “Did you tell her?”

  “I told her. There’s nothing more to say. We go together, and we come back together. She’ll keep an eye on him. Remember, she has the Colt, and she knows how to use it.”

  “If he tries anything and she fired a shot, she’ll bring the North Vietnamese down on her head.”

  “I doubt it. There’s so much ordnance flying around this place a.45 caliber bullet is not likely to attract any attention. She’ll be okay.”

  He shrugged. “I won’t say I’m not happy to have you along. There’s always a question about a deserter, even one like Minh, who seems genuine. So, we leave after dark. And if we get a chance to pop Phan, he goes down.”

  “No question.”

  The rest of the day went slowly. There’re only so many times you can clean and check your rifle, remove the magazine, count the bullets, and reinsert them. Check your water bottle, and we’d need to find somewhere to replenish the water which was running low. The intense humidity in Vietnam was something to be believed, and the men get thirsty and need to drink plenty to make up for the constant stream of perspiration.