‘Oh, my dear girl, what’s wrong?’ Elizabeth must have heard the crying and come to investigate.

  Unable to answer through her tears, she held out the letter. Her cousin took it and sat on the end of the bed to read it. This gave Lucinda time to recover her composure, blow her nose and wipe her face.

  ‘I thought I’d lost him, Elizabeth, that I’d never see him again. I can’t believe he’s going to get a divorce so he can marry me.’

  Elizabeth carefully folded the pages and pushed it back into the envelope before speaking. ‘Do you know what’s going to happen when this gets to court?’

  Lucinda shook her head. ‘I expect my name will be mentioned but I’m already a scarlet woman so I can’t think it matters. There are more important things happening right now than me being named in the divorce petition.’

  ‘I don’t think you quite understand, my dear. If Mrs Castleton doesn’t want to be divorced then it will go to court and you’ll have to appear. You’ll be cross-examined, what little reputation you have left will be stripped from you.’

  This wasn’t the reaction she wanted or had expected. ‘You don’t understand, Elizabeth, he’s giving up everything for me. It won’t just be my reputation that’s talked about, it will be his.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Lucinda, but I think if Mr Castleton genuinely loved you then he’d at least let things settle down for a year or two and not be forcing the issue so publicly.’

  Lucinda was about to argue but Elizabeth held up her hand.

  ‘Think about it, no decent man would have put you in that position in the first place. You didn’t know he was married but he certainly did and yet he still seduced you. No, don’t shake your head, you were seduced. That’s what it’s called when an innocent girl ends up in bed with an experienced older man.’

  Hearing what she thought of as a wonderful, loving relationship described so coldly put things in a different light.

  ‘I suppose when you state the facts so baldly it must make me re-evaluate what happened. But surely, Elizabeth, if he’s risking getting dismissed from his important position it proves that he loves me?’

  ‘There’s a grain of truth in that. Maybe I’ve underestimated his character, but I haven’t changed my mind. He might love you as much as he says he does, but it’s a selfish kind of love. Jonathan would never put me through what he intends to put you through.’

  ‘Can I stop him? Can I refuse to appear in court if it comes to that? I really don’t want to bring further embarrassment and disgrace to my family, especially you and Jonathan who have been so kind to me.’

  ‘I don’t actually know whether you can prevent him naming you in the petition. I’ll talk to Jonathan and see what he says. It might be better if I did it whilst you’re up here – less likelihood of things being said in the heat of the moment.’

  Obviously, Elizabeth didn’t mean that Jonathan would say something intemperate, but that Lucinda was likely to if she heard something she didn’t agree with.

  ‘All right. Do you think I should reply to the letter or throw it in the fire?’

  ‘Neither, Lucinda, it might be needed as evidence later on. I’ll take it with me so Jonathan can read it. I’m sorry that just as you’re getting over all the unpleasantness Mr Castleton has upset you again.’

  Her cousin had the letter in her hand as she stood up. It was a personal letter, showing it to Elizabeth was different as she was family and a woman. Having Jonathan read it was quite another thing and Lucinda wasn’t going to let that happen.

  ‘No, please, Elizabeth. I’d rather Jonathan didn’t read it. It’s private, it’s not up to you to show it to anybody else.’

  ‘I beg your pardon, I overstepped. Here you are, put it somewhere safe just in case you need it later.’

  Lucinda regretted having shown the letter to Elizabeth. This wouldn’t have happened if her cousin hadn’t walked in whilst she was sobbing. But there was nothing she could do about it and right now the contents were being shared with Jonathan as well.

  Instead of getting up, Lucinda turned out the bedside light and snuggled back under the blankets and eiderdown. She’d only had seven hours’ sleep and another two or three would do her good.

  Eventually, she rose, washed and dressed. She always cleaned her teeth in the washroom and WC downstairs and headed that way as soon as she was ready. She was halfway down the stairs when she remembered she’d left her tray so reversed and went to fetch it.

  The house was quiet. The children, she remembered, were out for the day visiting a friend over the river. Grace must be asleep and Lily only worked for the morning on Saturday. Presumably, Jonathan and Elizabeth were in the sitting room – as the door was kept closed to keep the heat in she could nip past and use the facilities without having to speak to them.

  She was busy in the kitchen making herself a sandwich and a pot of tea when Elizabeth arrived.

  ‘Good, are you feeling better after your lovely sleep?’

  ‘More rested, yes, thank you for asking. I’ve just made tea – do you and Jonathan want a cup?’

  ‘No, thank you, we had one a little while ago. We were beginning to be concerned when you didn’t come down.’

  ‘I’m tickety-boo now, I needed the extra time in bed to make up the hours I’ve missed over the week. I can’t tell you how happy I am not to have to go out for two nights. I don’t know how Mr Hatch was managing to be a postman every day and be out every night.’

  ‘He only delivers the morning post so was able to sleep in the afternoon. But you’re right, he’s not a young man and having you take over the weeknights will make his life so much easier. The young man that you rescued last night hasn’t broken his neck, thank God, he’s just suffering from a severe concussion. Dr Cousins came round and told us what you did – we’re very proud of you.’

  ‘I’m a bit proud of myself. I’ll drink my tea and eat my sandwich and then come through. Would you like me to meet the children from the ferry? It won’t be running after dark so they’ll have to come back by four.’

  ‘Are you sure? That only gives you half an hour to eat.’

  ‘I’d be happy to. I’ll also take charge of supper. I know it’s rabbit pie, vegetables and that scrumptious-looking Victoria sandwich for dessert.’

  Keeping busy kept her from thinking about the letter. She also wanted to show her family that she was a reformed character, that the Lucinda she was now was the real one.

  5

  Emily and her brothers didn’t enjoy the freezing, rough crossing from Wivenhoe to Rowhedge across the River Colne on the ferry that Saturday morning.

  ‘Blooming heck,’ George said as they disembarked their teeth chattering. ‘Coming back’s going to be even worse. I’ve changed my mind, I’m going home now before it gets rougher and colder.’

  Sammy grabbed his arm and yanked him away from the hard. ‘No, you’re not, you’re coming with us as we’ve promised to go to the party.’

  Emily intervened before it became physical. George had already clenched his fists.

  ‘It’s too late, George, as Doris is already waiting for us.’

  The boys liked Doris, especially Sammy. Emily thought her friend reminded him of his previous life in London’s East End.

  George looked even more grumpy but didn’t turn tail and hurry back to the ferry before it returned to Wivenhoe.

  ‘Good to see you, Doris, I’m almost looking forward to this so-called party. We’ve got indoor shoes and homemade cards, plus the boys have very kindly donated a jigsaw as a gift.’

  ‘You twisted my arm, Emily, or I wouldn’t have given it. Anyway, it’s a picture of teddy bears on a picnic and we’re too old for it,’ George said grumpily.

  This was hardly gracious and she was about to tick him off but he ran on ahead with Sammy, leaving her to walk with Doris.

  ‘Crikey, he’s in a bad mood. Who pulled his chain?’

  ‘He’s in trouble for fighting in the playground and has been suspended from the boxing club until next year.’

  ‘He doesn’t look like no fighter, but he does have a temper on him. He’ll ruin the boys’ party if he’s grumpy all day.’

  ‘We’re all really cold after the crossing. I’m hoping he’ll be fine as he warms up – running all the way to Penny’s house should do the trick.’

  ‘It’s perishing, and Nan reckons it might snow this afternoon. I ain’t running, but you go ahead if you want to.’

  ‘No, I’d rather talk to you. Anything new from the big house?’

  ‘I should say so, it’s the talk of the village. Those women had half a dozen soldiers up there for a party the other night. They never went home until the morning neither. Nan was scandalised and said those women are tarts and shouldn’t be allowed to have those kiddies living with them.’

  ‘I’m not sure what a tart in that context means, I’m guessing that they’re being intimate with men for money.’

  ‘Spot on, Emily. I’d not want to do it, not for money nor nothing else,’ Doris said. ‘When I get married I’ll have to, but I ain’t indulging in any hanky-panky before then. Jill’s sister just had a baby and there’s not a husband in sight.’

  ‘Sorry, do I know Jill?’ Sometimes Doris talked about village friends, forgetting that Emily didn’t know any of them.

  ‘Right, Jill’s a bit slow, if you get my drift, but ever so nice. She lives in the cottage next door to us and is a bit older than me. If someone was going to get caught out like that I’d have thought it would be her.’

  ‘I see, what will happen to the baby?’

  ‘I reckon they’ll keep it, it’s a boy, not been one of those in the family for years.’

  Emily knew roughly how babies were conceived but not the actual details. Why would a girl want to do it when there was a risk there could be an unwanted baby? Doris was more worldly than her and took such things in her stride.

  They arrived outside Penny’s house and were surprised to find the boys waiting for them.

  ‘Why didn’t you knock and go in?’ Emily asked.

  George grinned and looked his old self. ‘Wanted to wait for you two slow coaches. Sorry for being so ratty, I don’t like being cold.’

  ‘No one does, let’s get inside. I hope the twins aren’t overexcited by it being their birthday,’ Emily said to the back of his head as he raced to the door and hammered loudly on it.

  The day was such good fun, if a little noisy. There was jelly and custard as well as cake to go with the jam sandwiches. They played pass the parcel, blind man’s buff and musical chairs. Penny’s mum had to re-wrap the same things in the same brown paper so that the twins could play pass the parcel four times. Blind man’s buff and musical chairs were equally popular and even the overactive twins were exhausted by three o’clock.

  ‘Thank you so much for coming,’ Penny said as the three of them got ready to leave. ‘It’s a pity little Jimmy didn’t come – I wonder why as he was very excited when I invited him the other day.’

  ‘I’ll call in on me way home and see what’s what,’ Doris offered.

  ‘Thank you, that would be kind. I’m going to keep his piece of cake here for him to collect.’

  ‘We better get a move on, Emily, so stop yapping with your friends,’ George said. ‘It’s going to be dark in twenty minutes and we promised we’d be back by then.’

  ‘I’m coming. Thank your mother for inviting us, Penny, and I’ll see you at school on Monday.’

  Emily first hugged Penny and then said goodbye. Doris was waiting in the middle of the lane. ‘It’s your turn to come to me next Saturday, Doris, so if you can’t make it will you please tell Penny?’

  ‘Nothing’s going to stop me, I love coming to Harbour House. Shame Penny can’t come next week as well.’

  ‘They’ve got an ancient aunt visiting from Colchester. She’s not seen the twins for over a year as they’re too volatile to take on the bus.’

  Even the boys hugged Doris as they really liked her. The three of them almost ran down the hill and only just made it as the ferry was about to leave.

  ‘Look, Lucinda’s come to meet us. I didn’t like her at first,’ George said as they were approaching the riverbank where the ferry would drop them. ‘But I think she’s okay now.’

  ‘So do I,’ Sammy agreed. ‘She’s a bit of all right, very glam and posh. Not like the back end of a bus like what some of them girls are.’

  Usually her adopted brother sounded exactly like George when he spoke but occasionally, after he’d spent time with Doris, he sometimes reverted to his East End vocabulary.

  Lucinda had a scarf wrapped around her face and a woolly hat pulled down over her ears so she was barely recognisable. It was her mink coat that made her stand out in a crowd. Emily wasn’t quite sure how she felt about someone parading around in Wivenhoe in a coat that was worth more than most people made in wages in an entire year, if not a decade.

  The boys raced off, eager to get home and out of the cold, leaving her to walk at a more ladylike pace the short distance from the river to the house.

  ‘Why don’t you sell your mink, Lucinda? You could buy a lovely one made from rabbit fur and then you wouldn’t be short of money,’ Emily suggested.

  ‘I say, that’s a spiffing idea. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself. There’s no point in trying to sell it here, I’ll take it up to London next Saturday. It came from Harrods and I’m pretty sure they’ll be delighted to buy it back from me.’

  ‘There was plenty of party food, but I didn’t eat much, I wanted to make sure the boys and the twins had what they wanted.’

  ‘That was kind of you. I’m in charge of supper tonight and I promise it’s going to be scrumptious. Is that what you wanted to know?’

  ‘I suppose it was. I can’t remember the last time we all sat down together to a meal and I can’t wait. Actually, I don’t really like jam sandwiches and jelly and custard so doing without wasn’t a hardship.’

  As they were walking down Alma Street – or The Cut as this end was called – Ginger suddenly jumped onto the wall and meowed. Emily shot sideways, collided with Lucinda and for a few seconds they stumbled about, trying to regain their balance.

  ‘You ridiculous cat, why do you do that?’ Emily said once they were upright and reached out to stroke him. His purrs echoed down the road.

  ‘I’m more a dog person myself, but your Ginger’s beginning to grow on me. He’s definitely got a sense of humour.’

  To her surprise, the cat jumped onto Emily’s shoulder and draped himself around her neck like a big, warm, orange scarf. She was glad it wasn’t very far to the back door as he weighed a ton but she didn’t like to turf him off when he was being so friendly.

  Emily left Lucinda in the kitchen and, after carefully hanging up her coat and putting her wellingtons in the correct place, she headed to the sitting room to see her parents and hopefully her baby sister too.

  Lucinda sat at the dinner table, surrounded by chattering family, and for the first time in her life felt loved and that she belonged. The children took it in turns to go to the bottom of the stairs and listen out for the baby without being asked. It didn’t matter to them that they were a decade or more older than their new sibling, they loved her more if anything. Unlike Lucinda’s older sister and brother, who had not exchanged more than a few sentences with her ever.

  ‘Lucinda, is there any more gravy lurking in the kitchen so we can finish up this splendid pie?’ Jonathan asked.

  ‘There is. I left it to keep warm in the saucepan on the range so what I’ve got to do is fill up the gravy boat again. I won’t be a minute.’

  The huge ginger tomcat greeted her with a purr and tugged at the leg of her slacks. ‘What do you want, silly boy?’

  The cat nudged her still with a mouthful of her trousers. Light dawned.

  ‘You want something to eat. I’m sorry, I should have fed you and I quite forgot I’m not quite au fait with everything in the kitchen.’

  Emily spoke from behind her. ‘You’re definitely one of the family now whether you like it or not, Lucinda, as Ginger’s decided he likes you and you’re talking to him just like one of us.’

  Lucinda, for the first time in her life, felt she belonged somewhere, that she was genuinely loved and wanted.

  ‘I wonder if you’d be allowed to come with me next Saturday, Emily, we could have lunch at the Savoy if I managed to sell my coat.’

  The girl shook her head. ‘I’d love to, but it’s just not safe. No one goes to London unless they absolutely have to – I should never have suggested that you did. There’s a smashing department store, Williams, in Colchester and they’ve got a very grand section where all the rich ladies go to buy expensive things. I bet they’d be delighted to buy your mink coat – you might not get quite as much as you would at Harrods, but you wouldn’t have to put your life at risk, which must be worth a lot more than a few pounds.’

  ‘What a sensible young lady you are – I was still a giddy girl at your age with the most enormous crush on the head girl at my boarding school.’

  ‘I don’t think I even know the name of the head girl at my school as the lower school is in Greyfriars House and upper school is at the top of North Hill. The head prefect at our school is only a couple of years older than us so maybe the babies in the prep school have crushes on them but we certainly don’t.’

  ‘Heaven knows why we’re talking about school when we came out here to get gravy.’

  ‘You do that, Lucinda, I’ll feed the cat. I know what he likes.’

  As it was a special occasion – the first time they’d all sat together and Lily had made a cake – Jonathan said the adults would have coffee to go with it. Emily triumphantly carried the cake to the table to a round of applause and she brought up the rear with a tray holding a magnificent silver coffee pot and matching paraphernalia.