Captain Harry Haven had been in Vladivostok for two years, when the newly appointed British consul requested an urgent meeting. Captain Haven, who had lost his considerable fortune to a confidence trickster from New York, had decided to reconnect with his friends from Eton and had been able to set himself up in business again, selling machine parts to companies based in the Orient. The consul told Captain Haven that his products were resold on the black market to governments, who were either directly or indirectly in conflict with the British homeland. A shocked Captain Haven apologized and promised to stop his activities immediately and leave Vladivostok. To Haven’s surprise the consul declined the proposal and asked him to continue his activities on the condition that a recently arrived Foreign Office official would be appointed secretary in his company, Harry Haven & Co. Haven agreed to the request. The secretary proved to be an industrious and capable businessman and soon Haven was able to transfer the responsibility for the day to day running of the company to him.

  When Haven therefore received a letter from Mrs. Diss informing him that his old friend detective Jules Poiret had not left his bed for two weeks after wrongfully accusing someone of a heinous crime, which was in court proved to have been committed by someone else, he was able to write her that he would soon arrive back in England and promised to visit him.

  It became clear to Haven that Poiret was not well. Where previously he had a maniacal sense of cleanliness, he now sat in bed listening to the radio and eating the food his valet Burntwood prepared for him. The doctor had taken Haven to the side and had suggested to him to get Poiret out of the flat and to a private clinic in Bath, run by an associate of his. Poiret had rejected the idea.

  “Mon ami, a detective in the sanatorium,” he said, “It is the end.”

  Refusing to give up on his old friend, Haven departed for Bath to rent a private villa, where his friend could stay and recuperate. It was on the second evening after his arrival in Bath that he fell in love with a singer working in a nightclub. Soon his letters were less about persuading Poiret to visit Bath and more about Miss Jillian Buckingham and selling his company in Vladivostok. Poiret arrived in Bath soon after. Haven picked him up from the train station in his new car. “I’m telling you Poiret, the atmosphere here in Bath is awesome as Jillian would say. It's no surprise that people all over England come here to heal. This place is all about peace of mind and love.” “Poiret, he is here to find out,” said Poiret simply. Haven continued, “We’re meeting interesting people. We’re eating interesting food. Everything they say about Bath is true. It’s the most beautiful town in the world, especially at night!”

  Captain Haven had booked a hotel suite for Poiret in the same hotel in the theatre district he was staying in. He was awakened at three in the morning that night by the detective banging on the door. Haven stepped out of bed and opened the door. “Haven, are you awake?” Haven’s first instinct was to close the door. Poiret told him he couldn’t sleep and asked him to go to the bar with him and have a drink. He told him at home in London, he and his neighbor Mrs. Diss never went to bed without drinking a glass of brandy together.

  Haven followed him downstairs to the bar. Soft music was playing in the background. They sat down and Poiret ordered brandy for them. As soon as the waiter disappeared, a young woman with long black hair and a lot of makeup on came up to them. She went down on her knee in front of Poiret and took his hand. “Daddy,” she said. Poiret frowned. “Please to excuse Poiret, but he is not the daddy,” he said. “Daddy,” she continued, “Take me with you to London.” Poiret said, “Poiret does not think Mrs. Diss will agree to that.” He gave Haven a glance. Haven felt embarrassed. The girl stood up and sat down on Poiret’s lap, putting her head on his chest. Poiret froze in his chair. She said, “Adopt me, daddy.”

  Poiret gave Haven another look. Haven was about to faint. Poiret replied, “Poiret does not think Mrs. Diss will like that. She is happy the way things, they are now.” She pouted. The waiter came back with the drinks. He started shouting at the young woman. She shouted back. Everybody looked at Poiret and Haven, who made himself as small as possible. She left the bar. Poiret stood up and looked at Haven. “Qu’est-ce que c’est, Haven? You told to Poiret this is the hotel famous for the luxury and the elegance.” Haven’s face turned red. “If this, it happens again, Poiret, he will leave.” He sat back down again and shook his head. “Mon Dieu!” Haven took his drink and made it disappear down his throat.

  The next evening Haven introduced him to his friend Jillian Buckingham. They went to the cinema. Haven and Jillian decided to see a romantic comedy movie. After the movie they took a stroll through the theatre district. They met a few of Jillian’s colleagues and decided to have dinner. They ate fish at a little bistro. They also drank a few glasses of wine. They didn’t get drunk, but after Haven paid the bill, they called two cabs to transport them to a flat belonging to Sticks, one of the musicians, where they planned to spend some time. Poiret went along with the group. They went inside, except for Haven and one of the musicians. They went to a local store and bought a dozen bottles of wine. In the flat they played music, sang, danced and drank. One of the musicians gave Poiret a tambourine. At first he seemed lost, but soon he put his glasses on and played along with the rest. Jillian and Haven only had eyes for each other. Poiret complimented Sticks on his skill as a guitar player. The guitar player told him that for a short period of time when he was homeless he played guitar for tips in public parks in London. He said, “The public always think men like me were born with a silver spoon in the mouth. That is not true. We had to work very hard to get where we are.”

  After opening a few more bottles of wine, they began playing along with the songs they heard on the radio. Jillian was singing. Haven clapped his hands. Jillian asked Sticks to play “Angels for Sale.” The musicians stopped what they were doing and looked at the guitar player. Haven whispered to Poiret, “Sticks has a special relationship with that song. He rarely plays it. I don’t know why, but I know it’s so.”

  It was silent for some time. Sticks looked at Jillian. Jillian looked at Haven. Then he said, “Alright.” He began to play the opening chords of “Angels for Sale.” Poiret was moved by the song. Sticks sang, “Your heart is cold like a December day. When we touch, the love has gone away.” The others joined in. Poiret played the tambourine.

  They continued drinking and playing music till late in the night. Haven was sitting on the bed with Jillian. Poiret and Sticks were both sitting on chairs. All of them were more asleep than awake by then. Poiret told them it was time for them to leave. Haven looked over to Jillian, but she was fast asleep on the bed. He stood up. His legs were wobbly. He tried to wake her up. He couldn’t. He tried to lift her up, but the wine had left him quite weak and Jillian was a healthy young woman from Shropshire. The last thing Haven remembered was Sticks saying he was going to the bathroom and not returning.

  Captain Haven woke up early next morning. He had a terrible headache. Jillian was still asleep on the bed. Poiret was lying next to her. He was also asleep. He was still wearing his glasses and holding the tambourine in his hand. Haven looked around the room. It was empty, except for the bottles of wine. Haven woke up Jillian. As he said good morning to her and she said good morning to him she looked to her side and screamed. Haven said, “It’s alright. That’s Poiret. We all fell asleep last night. You have to get up. We have to go.” The look on Jillian’s face as she looked at Poiret betrayed her feelings. Haven laughed out loud. “We’re all alright. Come on! Get up. Let’s have breakfast then I’ll drive you home.”

  He went to the bathroom. He heard someone say, “Do, Re, Mi.” He looked around and found Sticks in the bathtub with his guitar. He was asleep. Careful not to wake him up, Haven washed his face and hands and left the bathroom. Jillian was putting on her coat. Haven woke up Poiret and with some effort was able to get him to his feet. Helped by Jillian he was able to get Poiret down the stairs and into a cab. At nine in the morning Poiret was in his own bed in his hotel suite.

  Haven went back to the hotel at noon and found Poiret in the restaurant drinking coffee and eating cake. Haven asked him how he felt. He responded, “Poiret feels good. He has slept well. He has eaten a large breakfast with eggs and sausages. He feels like a prize fighter before the fight.”

  Haven told him he had an appointment with a doctor. To his surprise Poiret did not object. In the car Poiret asked Haven how he liked his new life in Bath. Haven told him he loved Bath. He spent most days playing golf and polo and went to dinner with Jillian in the evening and watched her sing until late at night at the nightclub she was working at. He told him through Jillian he had made a lot of friends in Bath. On the nights she didn’t sing she arranged a friendly game of poker in the backroom in which Haven participated from time to time. Asked by Poiret if he was lucky, Haven responded, “To tell you the truth, old boy, I’ve been losing money, but I plan to make it back soon. I’m beginning to figure out the game.”

  The doctor examined Poiret and told him, though he was well, he should lose weight. “Your bones can't support your weight anymore. Not at your age.” Haven told the doctor, Poiret was addicted to food and he hated physical exertion. Poiret denied this. The doctor suggested he go on a diet. Poiret told him he would think about it.

  In the car Haven asked Poiret w

hen he would start with the diet. Poiret replied, “The doctor, he does not know of which he talks. Poiret is as healthy as a fish from Poitou Charentes.” Haven frowned, “But you heard what the doctor said.” “The doctor, mon ami, did you see him? He needs the diet more than Poiret.” “You don’t have to stop eating altogether, old boy. You could start by cutting bread from your meals.” Poiret looked at him like he had just been stung by a bee. “You do not know Poiret? Not after all these years? If Poiret does not eat the bread, there is nothing left. The French cuisine, it depends on bread. Without the bread, Poiret, he eats the air.” Haven understood he could not change his friend’s attitude towards food. He suggested, “Jillian keeps healthy by meditating. Maybe she could teach you how to do that.” “Mon ami, Poiret would feel much better if you stopped taking about not eating and we take the lovely Mademoiselle Jillian to the dinner and listen to her singing afterwards.”

  After dinner Jillian surprised them by telling them that she wouldn’t be singing that evening, but hosting a poker game in the backroom of the nightclub. She invited Haven to play. Poiret asked her if he could come along. She hesitated for a moment, but agreed to ask the owner. The owner, a big silent man from Yorkshire told Poiret he would only be allowed inside the backroom if he played. Poiret agreed.

  The poker game started at ten o’clock. Of the seven poker players Haven only knew Poiret. He had met a few of the others while playing polo and golf, but he had never been introduced to them officially. He knew Lord Tutbury by name. His family had been the largest porcelain manufacturers in Britain for two centuries. Lord Tutbury, who spoke with an American accent, lived mostly in Italy to avoid having to pay taxes. A few weeks after he left Britain, the government received a letter from the government of Italy asking them permission to open a new consulate in Bath for their new consul Lord Tutbury.

  Haven explained to Poiret that it was another of Lord Tutbury’s famous tax evasion schemes. The status of foreign diplomat allowed him to stay in England without being taxed. Apart from that Lord Tutbury was one of the most hated businessmen in London, because of his business activities. He would buy large amounts of debts issued by companies at twenty pennies on the Pound and then use the legal system to force these companies to pay him back Pound for Pound. He almost bankrupted the textile industry using this scheme. He made a lot of money in that transaction. That was the reason he left Britain. He didn’t want to pay taxes on the gains he had made. Haven continued, “I remember his brother told me once that Lord Tutbury hated paying taxes so much, he is making every effort to live forever, so his daughters don't have to pay any estate taxes.”

  Jillian also introduced them to Robert Bloor, a Herefordshire industrialist from Worcester, to Charles Lutterworth, a third generation Member of Parliament from Hull, to Sir Knaresborough, who inherited a title and a diversified portfolio of real estate investments and to Major Gordon Duddo, an owner of mines, forestry companies and agricultural land. He was the nephew of Lord Henry Duddo.

  Charles Lutterworth and Poiret didn’t get along from the beginning. When Poiret entered the room Lutterworth glanced at him as he came through the door and continued his conversation. Poiret greeted him. The politician nodded back. Poiret tried to strike up a conversation with him. Poiret said to him, “The elections, they will be held this year?” “No”, the other man said and pointed his finger at Poiret “The other party may be better at getting out the vote.” Lutterworth looked him in the eyes and said, “You got something else? No? I have to talk to someone.” He walked away.

  “You got something else?” fumed Poiret to Haven. “What does he mean? There is something about the words Poiret does not like.” “Not at all, old boy,” explained Haven cheerily, “He meant the question to be friendly.” Poiret continued, “It is all, how do you say, egoism in politics. “You got something else?” Poiret has never said that to anybody in his life. That is not the way you talk to people. “You got something else?” To Poiret of all people! What has he done to anybody to deserve this kind of attitude? “You got something else?” Poiret shook his head. Haven explained to Poiret, “Old boy, I think this may have something to do with his shyness when meeting people face to face. He is charming and all as a politician should be, but a little bit awkward at it. On the other hand he does a marvelous job with big crowds. He didn’t become a Member of Parliament by kissing babies and glad-handing as many voters as possible, but by appearing on the radio and in the newspapers.” “Non, mon cher Haven, he did not earn his position. He inherited it,” sniffed Poiret dismissively.

  It was Major Gordon Duddo, who suggested that they increase the stakes after a few hands. At the end of the game, seven hours later, he was down more than nine thousand Pounds. Haven was up by a thousand Pounds. He played like a gambler. One of his hands took him down a thousand Pounds. Another hand just before the end of the game brought him back into the black. Poiret had a small gain. He was a careful player. He put his glasses on and wrote down after every hand how much he had won or lost. He bet carefully and therefore didn’t win much, but he also didn’t lose much. He also played slowly to the chagrin of the other players. Lord Tutbury was up four thousand Pounds. Charles Lutterworth had lost five hundred Pounds. Sir Knaresborough was up seven thousand. The man from Herefordshire lost two and a half thousand Pounds. He had lost heavily from the beginning and was the first to say he wished to leave the table. He asked the other players if they agreed to settle the debts at a later date. As all players were known to each other, nobody objected. They exchanged the necessary notes and left.

  Poiret and Haven couldn’t sleep, because the adrenaline was still pumping through their veins, so they decided to go to a restaurant to eat breakfast. Poiret carefully chose his meal. Suddenly the waitress told him she was in the middle of her divorce and that when it was all over, she liked to meet him again. Poiret looked at Haven with open mouth. Haven could see that Poiret didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he also didn't want to get involved with her. Poiret said, “Haven, if you please to give the lady your business card.” An embarrassed Haven gave her his business card. After she left, Poiret whispered, “Haven, the English women, they are not like the poem, it says, the wilting roses pining in the shadows.” He smiled.

  At the restaurant they met a few tourists from different parts of the country. Haven’s easy manner made him an easy person to talk to. Poiret ate his breakfast in silence and watched him. Fred, a shopkeeper from Newcastle-under-Lyme, who was visiting Bath with his wife and daughter, Carol, told them his daughter kept nagging at him about building a swimming pool in the garden. Fred told them that during the boom years, he was able to open his own shop and make a good living at it. He employed fourteen store clerks in Newcastle-under-Lyme, but the economy took a turn for the worse and he recently had to let go three employees. He blamed the government for his economic woes. Poiret nodded. He told Carol she had to understand grown-ups have other priorities and that she would understand in a few years, when she was a grown-up herself. She blushed as she was reprimanded by the exquisitely dressed foreign gentleman.

  Poiret told her she should make it a habit to take notes every time someone interesting spoke. “The way you will learn is by doing it or listening to someone with the experience.” He told her a story from Greek mythology. “The Greeks of old, they thought there was the reason for the tall grass, moved by the wind it goes, “Wesh, wesh.” The reason, it is the king of Syracuse. He is born with the donkey ears. His parents, they are devastated and make sure nobody, they ever know about it. After his parents, they die the new king of Syracuse continues to cover up his donkey ears with the hat. Nobody knows his little secret, except for his barber, who is an old mute. The old barber, he dies, so a new one has to be appointed. The unsuspecting man receives the shock, when the king of Syracuse, he takes off his hat for the first time. “Your Majesty,” he says, “You have the donkey ears.” “Yes,” says the king, “And if I ever hear rumors about my ears, I know it was you, who has started the rumors and you will be dealt with swiftly.” The barber, he does not open his mouth and he continues with his work.