He’s quiet again for a stretch, and the only noise is the birds that chirp in the distance and the crackle of the fire. “The rest of us died a little more every time we had to do it. When Matuk claims he was too scared to do anything, I believe him. I was scared too. We all were. We had to fit in or meet our fates, and yeah… maybe that makes him a coward. Maybe we were all fucking cowards, but we made our choices, and we have to live with the consequences of those.”

  He glances up, eye flickering between Ronan and Elas. “You know a little about living with your demons.”

  Elas’s eyes are unfocused as August puts his arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug, while Cameron holds Ronan from behind, his chin resting on Ronan’s shoulder.

  “So what do we do, then?” August asks. “What’s our plan? We’re building a home here, but we’re also searching for more. You said Nyx could affect the portal?” A few of us nod as everyone looks at Nyx by my side. “What if we open one of them? What then?”

  A few glances are exchanged before Taryn speaks up. “Then we go through.”

  “What?!” Ronan and I ask together, but she only scoffs and waves her hand around the group.

  “You believe the fates gave us our mates… that they put this in motion. That these connections we’re making are supposed to be the cure, and we are the ones destined to fix this place. Somehow, against the millions of odds, we found each other and ended up here. Together. Sitting around the village building furniture and gardening isn’t going to do shit. No offence, Reyes,” she adds, just a touch grudgingly.

  “None taken,” I grumble back before she continues.

  “If you believe—truly believe—we are part of something so much bigger than ourselves, then we don’t have a choice. And I do believe that.” She takes Lillith’s hand in hers, and Lillith gives her a soft smile. “I might never have prayed to the fates, but they answered my prayers, regardless. Nothing else could explain how much I love her. You all understand what I’m talking about.”

  My gaze moves to Nyx, and I find those bright sage eyes staring up at me as well. There’s so much love there that sometimes, I don’t know what to do with it. He gives me a soft, uncertain smile, and I sigh as I press a kiss against his forehead. “Yeah,” I whisper against his skin. “I know what you mean.”

  “That doesn’t mean we go through,” Ronan says, with a touch of hysteria building in his tone. “It doesn’t mean we risk this. I will not risk him,” he snarls, making himself larger like one of us might try to take Cameron away from him.

  “If this world burns, he burns with it, Ronan,” Taryn says gently. “If the military takes more power, us little guys don’t stand a fucking chance.” A shadow passes over the village, the sun ducking under cover like it too wants to hide from this conversation.

  “We’re getting off track here,” Elas interrupts before Ronan can wind himself up too far. “A few sparks from a rift are a long way from just waltzing through. The question at hand isn’t whether to jump fucking worlds. It’s whether we trust these people enough to allow them into our home.” His attention shifts to Xeni, and it feels like an unspoken truce is called between the two of them. “Tell us about these scientists. Can they even help with the portals?”

  “Aryn, maybe. He worked directly in that part of the operation. Sprocket… eh.” He tilts his hand back and forth in front of him. “She’s more of an engineer than a scientist. I’m not sure how much she could help in that area, but she could work wonders with the things we’re struggling with here. Solar panels, wells.”

  “Gods, hot showers,” Cameron groans, and I sigh wistfully at the fantasy.

  “And you trust them?” Elas asks, some of that diplomacy dissolving as he looks Xeni up and down. “You don’t have the same stakes as the rest of us, you know.” It’s a dig at Xeni being the only unmated person here, and it seems to hit its target. Xeni’s gaze drops to the ground, and I notice he rubs his hip again.

  “Just because I don’t have a mate inside this place doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

  “What about Matuk?” I ask. “He’s fucking enormous—”

  “Not to mention our track record with Khileons is pretty fucking awful,” Ronan interjects, and Elas grunts his agreement.

  “That’s not fair,” Lillith says, with an uncharacteristic seriousness about her. “Yeah, Bravis and Khors were dicks, but so are plenty of my kind. Hells, you ripped the throat out of one not long ago. Lots of Nu’vak are assholes, including the one Reyes just killed, but judging an entire group of people based on the actions of a few is beneath you.”

  Ronan ducks his head, admonished, and nods. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m just… I fucking hate this.”

  “I trust Matuk,” August says, but Elas snorts.

  “You trust everyone.”

  “There is safety in numbers,” Taryn says, ignoring Elas and August as they glare at each other. “If we want to do more than survive, we’re going to have to learn to work with others. We can’t do this alone. I’m not saying to be careless,” she interjects as Ronan opens his mouth, “but to be smart. Xeni trusts these scientists, and the prisoners? Don’t they deserve a moment to breathe? A life that isn’t behind those bars? Isn’t that the whole reason we fought to give them their freedom?”

  “The prisoners aren’t a threat,” I say as I hug Nyx closer. “And I’m with Taryn on this. What was the point in freeing them if we’re just leaving them to the wolves?” She gives me a faint smile and tips her head in a nod, and Ronan groans as he leans forward and rests his forehead in his hands.

  “Alright. Who’s opposed?” When silence follows, Ronan growls and jumps up from his spot, shoving his hand through his hair. “Fucking democracy,” he mutters, pacing in an agitated line back and forth. After a few cycles, and a few pointedly deep breaths, he nods and plops back into his seat. Cameron yelps as Ronan yanks him into his lap, but curls against his chest like he knows how much Ronan needs it. When Ronan speaks, it’s low and barely controlled.

  “Alright. If we do this, we do it right. We don’t go back there without a plan.”

  Nyx

  The next few days are a whirlwind of activity in the village. Ronan and Elas work with the humans on defensive techniques while Lillith reinforces everyone’s homes. She installs locking mechanisms on the doors and windows that are primitive, but effective. They even hold when she slams her weight against them, so it adds another layer of defense.

  My attention is given to the garden, where Reyes and I pick any viable produce from the remaining plants outside. Xeni works to preserve what he can, and when Cameron and August aren’t being tossed around by their mates in the fighting ring, they help. More shelves are loaded with glass jars full of colorful vegetables and sweet jams, and one evening when he can’t sleep, Ronan takes out his aggression on the dried corn and mills it into a powder for baking.

  There’s a shift in the air, a subtle cooling in the nighttime breeze that tells us the colder months are on their way. The time rolls around for us to make the drive, and Ronan tries again to stop me from coming. Almost every day since we returned, he’s pulled me aside and begged me to reconsider.

  I won’t, though, for reasons I can’t explain. Something deep inside me, an instinct I haven’t heard in decades, tells me this is where I need to be, but he doesn’t take that as a valid argument. Reyes loses his patience and yells, but I pull him away before he starts a fight. There’s no reason for the two of them to be at each other’s throats. They both want what’s best for me.

  We decide the original setup worked well for everyone, so Elas and Lillith stay behind with their mates. Ronan trusts them to protect the village if anything were to happen, and Taryn has assumed more of a leadership role as time has passed. None of us are surprised, given her history.

  Goodbyes are quick, though Cameron and Ronan stand removed from the group in the shadows for a long stretch. My heart breaks at the fear on Cameron’s face as Ronan walks away, and Ronan’s clenched jaw and stilted stride tell me he’s struggling just as much.

  The four of us load into the van to make the journey for the second time. “After this, we won’t have much fuel left,” Ronan says as we roll through the forest. “Enough for another trip of this distance, maybe two.” The headlights are off, and the moon is high in the sky above us. Travelling in the dark makes him jumpier, but we had to leave in the middle of the night to keep our schedule.

  The drive is uneventful, but everyone is on edge. Reyes reads out loud for a while once day breaks, but we don’t get lost in the story like we did the first time. A quiet gloom settles in the air, making it hard to concentrate while everyone’s thoughts seem to drift elsewhere. Eventually, he puts the book away, and we ride to the humming song of the wheels underneath the tires.

  “Last chance to turn around.” Ronan’s offer is met with silence as we spot our destination on the horizon. From this distance, the forest is only a green blob on the brown, dusty expanse, but as we get closer, the trees take shape.

  “Think they’re already here?” Reyes asks, and Ronan chews on his lip as he shrugs.

  “Who knows? We told them a week, but we never settled on a time. If it were me, I would’ve been waiting since the break of dawn, but they may wait to arrive later in the afternoon.” An eerie sense of déjà vu encompasses the group as we park in the same place. There are no signs of life around us.

  No crushed grass or tire tracks, or smoldering ashes from someone’s campfire.

  It’s only us and the trees.

  “Let’s check the camp,” Ronan says, and he readies his sword as he leads the way while Xeni brings up the rear. Reyes clings to my hand like he’s afraid I’ll disappear again. The rift reaches for me as we get closer and speaks to me, pulling me with some ancient intuition I don’t know how to answer. While I’m drawn to its song, it doesn’t force me. It has never felt dangerous.

  The tents come into view, and Ronan holds his hand up to stop us. We freeze, but aside from the breeze and the occasional chirp of the birds, it’s silent. When he’s satisfied we’re alone, we trek through the camp, searching for signs of Matuk and the others, but everything is as we left it.

  “Let’s search while we wait.” Ronan nods at the tents, and the four of us go to work, digging for anything worthwhile to bring with us. There isn’t much here. Scavengers have picked through the supplies the military left behind, though we find a few hidden caches that have been overlooked. It’s nothing spectacular—a few items of clothing, a small box of MREs, and some knives. Xeni finds some random devices he takes for materials, and a spool of wire shoved underneath a ratty tarp.

  Reyes leaves my side for a moment to speak to Ronan, who glances at me then nods. When he returns, Reyes smiles and takes my hand, weaving our fingers together as he leads me towards the trees. “Last time we were here, I found something, but with all the excitement, I forgot about it until now.”

  “You and your surprises.” He grins at my teasing as we walk into the shadows. It doesn’t take long before a spot of color pops up in the distance, and he squeezes my hand as we step around the thick underbrush and fallen logs.

  His voice is careful as he says, “I think this portal might’ve been the one you came through.” I blink in surprise, and he gestures at the dots of purple ahead of us. “Do you remember telling me about the day you arrived? How you were looking at the flowers when they found you?”

  We get closer, and my heart floats into my throat as I stare at the purple and yellow blooms. “Eye-riss,” I whisper, and his hand tightens on mine.

  “Yeah, sirrha. Eye-riss.”

  I sink to my knees and cup the delicate petals, closing my eyes as I try to dig out those cloudy, forgotten memories. Despite how many years it’s been, I find them and pull them to the front of my mind easily.

  The forest behind my parents’ home is my favorite place, and I wander along the familiar paths, searching for a healing herb my mother uses in her poultice. I spot the telltale orange buds deeper in the underbrush, but as I drop my basket and kneel, I hear a strange call. Sweet and inviting, a song rings through my ears. It’s haunting like nothing I’ve ever heard before, and filled with so much emotion it brings tears to my eyes. I leave my gathering basket and weave through the trees, following its path until I see it.

  It’s like looking through a window, but the picture on the other side doesn’t make sense. Pale blue skies and trees shaped like nothing I’ve ever seen wait beyond, and the music that echoes through the opening is louder now. I look over my shoulder towards my home, wondering if I should heed my mother’s warning. She has always said I am too curious for my own good.

  I glance through the strange doorway again, spotting a cluster of flowers I’ve never seen on the other side. I stick my hand through and take a deep inhale at the warmth on my skin. My heart pounds, but nothing bad happens, and I want to step through. I tell myself I’ll spend five minutes, just five, then I’ll return with a beautiful bouquet to put on the dinner table, where they’ll all listen as I share a tale of another adventure.

  The heat compounds as I step through, hotter than home but not unbearable. This place smells different, and I stare in wonder at the blue sky above. I step back through to my home, into the cooler air and familiar blood orange sky, then back again into the heat. A laugh slips free as I take a few cautious steps forward, my eyes following a small winged creature as it flies past.

  I walk towards the yellow blooms I’d spotted from my forest, and I glance behind me to make sure the opening is still there. Satisfied, I turn back to the flowers and pick a few to bring with me. A clearing in the trees invites me inside, and the heat isn’t so bad when I’m under their canopy. My palms drag along rough bark, and my ears twitch with the alien chirps of animals in the distance. I spot a burst of color ahead, and rush forward to investigate.

  I lean in and smell the flower, and my heart aches with a homesickness I haven’t experienced in so long, I forgot what it feels like. “They came from there,” I say as I point into the forest, “after only a few minutes. I wasn’t going to stay… wasn’t going to explore any further. I wanted to take flowers home to my mother. She would have scolded me for my adventures, but displayed them with so much pride.” Reyes sinks onto the grass beside me, silently offering his support. “She never knew what happened to me.”

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and I open my watery eyes, still cupping the velvety petals as I glance behind us, towards the rift.

  “It was so close. If I had been paying attention… I could have run. If I had not been so curious…”

  “I love how curious you are,” he says quietly, and I sink into his side, resting my head on his shoulder.

  “I wouldn’t change it, you know,” I say, and he rests his head against mine. “Coming through. Being caught. Any of it. I wouldn’t change it, because if it had never happened, I wouldn’t be here with you right now.”

  “It would’ve saved you from a life of pain.”

  “Perhaps. Or maybe there was just as much pain waiting for me on the other side. I would’ve liked to say goodbye, though. Tell them not to worry, and that I love them. That it will hurt, but it will be okay someday.”

  “I wish I could take it all away from you.” His voice is thick, and I climb into his lap. Strong, steady arms wrap around me, holding me close and anchoring us together.

  “You have,” I whisper, and he takes a shuddering inhale as his fingers dig into my hair and hold me tight. He tilts my face, and his lips find mine, and for that singular moment, the world is perfect.

  But that moment doesn’t last.

  Voices erupt beyond the trees, and I recognize Ronan’s furious roar at the same time as Reyes. We spring to our feet, and he stares back and forth between the commotion and me with wide eyes. Conflict plays over his face as he battles himself with what to do. He wants to help, to charge in like he didn’t at his camp and prove to himself he is not the coward he believes himself to be. But he will never abandon me.

  “I can’t leave you.” His voice cracks, and my heart breaks with every unsteady breath that saws from his lungs. “I can’t.”

  A branch snaps in the woods, not far from where we stand, and crunching leaves and footsteps tell us someone is coming. Fear pierces my mind and locks me in place, and the world slows to a crawl as I realize what this means.

  It’s happening again.

  History will repeat itself, and I’ll be taken, and he’ll be gone.

  He’ll be gone.

  He’ll be gone.

  Alone. Alone, alone, alone, always alone.

  Reyes yanks my hand, and we sprint through the trees as fast as our legs will carry us. Our feet pound against the grass and growth, and a startled shout behind us calls out our position. More shouts answer, louder ones, and I can’t keep track of the voices. Many. Too many.

  “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” one of them sings, taunting and triumphant. Someone who has utter confidence in their victory. The others respond with howling laughter.

  They laugh.

  We run until my legs ache, Reyes desperately searching for safety as they laugh behind us, chasing with unrelenting strides. Magic flares in my stomach, and I tug Reyes’s hand as the thick brush parts for us, allowing us passage and barely scraping our cheeks before slamming shut. Their shouts are too close as they yell, but the brambles dig into their skin and slow them down.

  We don’t stop running, even as the noises grow quieter behind us, or when the shouting moves in the opposite direction. We’re sweating, panting, hurting, and terrified, but we run until we can’t. I stumble and almost hit the ground, but Reyes catches me and supports me as I breathe through seizing lungs. My body knows pain but not exertion, and rebels against it. He drags me behind a dense growth of bushes, and our eyes meet. His are frightened, but his hands are steady while my whole body trembles. Neither of us knows what happened to our friends.