* * *

  ‘Police, there is a cow in my house.

  What? No, it is not my cow.

  No, I did not steal the cow!

  No, there are many cows in my house. They are dead!

  No, I did not kill them!

  No, I don’t mean I have steak!

  I come home and my house, it has many dead cows in it, very large cows, all dead.

  No, I am not having a barbecue.

  I know the weather is nice.

  Look, you idiot, someone has put a dozen dead cows into my house.

  What? What do you mean you did it?

  Helmut Graf, yes, he is a friend.

  A good friend, why? What is this?

  He is wanted? By the people in Zug?

  Oh.

  No, I don’t mind about the cows.

  Yes, I will clear it up.

  Yes, I am sure, sorry to bother you.

  Yes, thank you for your time.’