Anu R

  Dad Archmage

  An OPMC LitRPG

  Copyright © 2026 by Anu R

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

  First edition

  This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy

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  Contents

  1. Chapter 1: Liam / No Longer an Archmage Devourer

  2. Chapter 2: Evil Orphanage / New Child

  3. Chapter 3: Noah / Dr. Graham

  4. Chapter 4: The Dinner / Palace Academia

  5. Chapter 5: Knights Love Apple Juice / The Kidnapping

  6. Chapter 6: Blobby Torture / Augustus

  7. Chapter 7: Dead Golem Heart / Vivana and the Elf God

  8. Chapter 8: I Don’t Know You / Who Cares About the Moon?

  9. Chapter 9: Flowers Strike Their Fancies / The Wand Shop

  10. Chapter 10: The Drunk Wandmaker / Eclipsed Slingshot

  11. Chapter 11: Bonding with a Baby Dragon / Godslayer Soup!

  12. Chapter 12: Best Food in the World / I Wish I Could Fly / Carriage Dimension

  13. Chapter 13: Academy Library / The Plague

  14. Chapter 14: The Hospital and the Artifact / Chaosborn Rift

  15. Chapter 15: Chaosborn Finale / Looking Forward

  16. Chapter 16: Strolling through the Courtyard / High Professors

  17. Chapter 17: Too Much Information / Aura Farming Has a Purpose

  18. Chapter 18: Noah Makes Another Friend / Oops, Didn’t Mean To Do That

  19. Chapter 19: Inverting Mana Is Rather Easy / Santa, The Giftmaker

  20. Chapter 20: The Calm Train Ride / Bandits and Volcanoes?

  21. Chapter 21: Otherworldly Champion / Dungeons Go Wrong

  22. Chapter 22: Ouros the Galaxy-Slayer / I’m Not Dead, You Bastard

  23. Chapter 23: Zeus / The Lord

  24. Chapter 24: Blackened Temple / Jacquelles Caspian's Plan

  25. Chapter 25: End Jacquelles Sequence / The Perfect Timing

  26. Chapter 26: The Dungeon's First Layer / Where Did Flame Go?

  27. Chapter 27: The [Archmage Devourer] Returns

  28. Chapter 28: Protection Enchantments / No Stress

  29. Chapter 29: The Mirror Demon / Lon Can't [Sleep]

  30. Chapter 30: Timely Meeting / Terror Veil

  31. Chapter 31: Local Conclusion / Downstream Gnome

  32. Chapter 32: Fake Robber / The Inn

  Afterword

  1

  Chapter 1: Liam / No Longer an Archmage Devourer

  Liam looked straight in the eyes of the decaying, toothy old man in the rickety wooden boat that was supposed to lead him down to the Underworld. He’d died, after all.

  Then, he spat straight in the old man’s face.

  His spit melted like acid on the old man, though Liam knew there was no use. That damned Hades had made the cripple immortal, so even if he looked decrepit and dumb enough, he was never going to really die.

  “So,” Liam began calmly, trying not to explode with fury. “The reason Hades is gatekeeping a peaceful afterlife from me is because I’ve killed too many of his sons and daughters? It’s not like they die anyway!” He exclaimed. “They just go back to his damn palace, laze around eating fruits straight off the trees, and then return to the Overworld for the sole reason of raising mayhem!”

  The old man tilted his head.

  “Where’d you hear any of that gobbledygook?” He chuckled in a way that pissed Liam off even more. “The real reason—”

  “I heard it from you, you bastard!” Liam threw his hands up in exasperation. “You, fucking crippled old bat!”

  “Ehhh… you can’t prove it, can you?” The man replied, tapping the sides of his boat with his oar. The black, murky water of the River Styx rose and fell beneath him, moving back and forth in a calm motion. This juxtaposed the vision Liam had in his mind—using the oar to smack the bastard straight into the river. Even though it would ultimately be to no avail.

  “The real reason,” the man continued, “Is because he just doesn’t like you. And the other gods don’t either. So they prefer not to let you, someone with a history of slaughtering strong people for the fun of it, into their domains. You understand that, don’t you?”

  Well, that was the point of his own existence, wasn’t it? Liam was a special class of [Archmage]: an [Archmage Devourer]. With no magic of his own, he was forced to steal it from the powerful. Although he wasn’t fooling himself by saying that. Of-fucking-course he loved beating down those stuck-up, genetically blessed-from-birth, evil bastards. They didn’t deserve to sit on their high horses and manipulate the less fortunate.

  Still…

  “It’s not like I could kill any of the gods, anyway,” Liam deadpanned while twirling a loc of hair around his pale fingers.

  The man laughed dryly, and then abruptly stopped. “Oh… that wasn’t a joke. You’re serious? Take a look at your stats really quickly, and I’ll compare them to the gods.”

  “I’ll do just that, then!” Liam huffed. “And you’ll see that I’m much weaker.”

  He hoped he was that much weaker. He was only a mortal, and the gods were immortal, and he knew that technically made them all stronger. But when it came down to his stats, he had a bit of a sweet tooth for other people’s mana, and may have wiped out a few kingdoms, so…

  [Status], he thought.

  Liam Ordenar - Level 8322 [Archmage - Subclass: Devourer]

  Perfect Human (Containing all Races)

  Equipped Title: Not Great with Kids

  Strongest Affinity: Stars

  MAG: 37,239,016

  STR: 1,823,065

  WIS: 8,265,670

  CON: 982,361

  AGI: 248,196

  “Right then, let’s have a look,” the man fashioned a golden monocle out of his mana and put it to his eyes. Liam didn’t like the way it gleamed maliciously against the rather cool, dark and fiery background, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about that.

  He could berate the man, though. And he found quite a bit of pleasure in doing so.

  “Aren’t you a damn cheating old man… really, going to scry my status?” Liam hoped rather foolishly that he could get under this man’s skin.

  The man tapped his head. “I can’t really take offense, Hades removed that part of my brain. Sorry. But, hmm… maybe I did overestimate you a bit. I thought all your stats would be higher than all of them. But your magic stat is about double the magic stat of Zeus, and your level is quite similar to his as well. Golly gee, I’m scared,” he said in a cool manner.

  “Double? You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

  “Is it that hard to believe, [Archmage Devourer]?” The man shook his head. “Anyway, for every second you stay here, Hades has made a point to increase the amount of pain I feel, and if that increases, I’ll have no way of drinking my morning coffee. So… goodbye. I hope I never see you again.”

  Yep, he’d set his mind upon it just now. Liam was going to rip this man’s throat out and kill him for good. But not yet, though. He hadn’t had any reason to go against the gods before. He’d gotten rid of all the evil [Archmage]’s and then peacefully died in his sleep. But this constituted another fight.

  He could only die peacefully after he got rid of all the gods.

  The old man snapped his fingers, with Liam flashing him the middle finger as a parting gift. Everything cut to black as it usually did when one was traveling between realms, and usually things would go by in an instant, but he preferred to enjoy the ride.

  With a flurry of thoughts in his mind, Liam swept his hand across the “sky”.

  “[Starlight Veil].”

  His mana parted into a silky backdrop containing thousands of tiny glowing pricks, filling the void with light. It felt like a sauna to him, basking in all that starlight. He drifted about the void, looking for the one being he’d ignored for the past century.

  “Oh, Janitor! Come on out!” Liam cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted. “Come on, I know you want to see me! No hard feelings, alright?”

  There was a movement in the darkness. And gradually, a freakishly large eye blinked open. It had several slits in it, was about as vibrant as the sun itself, and was also about as big.

  Several slimy tentacles slid around in the darkness.

  Uh, well, this thing was an Outer God, of course. He called him a Janitor because the gods forced him to clean the in-between realm. Liam hadn’t really met too many of the other Outer Gods—well, really, he’d only met this one. But they all had one thing in common: they wanted the gods dead. And they wanted to take over.

  Liam wanted the gods dead. But he didn’t want the Outer Gods to take over.

  “What do you want? You’re disturbing my sleep.”

  Liam whistled. “You can sleep? Lucky bastard, eh? Thought the gods worked you like a dog, carrying people between realms.” He cleared his throat. “Ahem—anyway. I wanna take your quest now.”

  “You can’t ingest the crystal.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Liam replied. His body wasn’t compatible with it, that he knew. “That isn�
��t my plan. If I can’t be the one to do it, I’ll just have someone else do it for me. Preferably a talented little kid.”

  “Look at the title you have equipped right now.”

  “Oh… You mean [Not Great with Kids]? Pssh, don’t worry about that!” Liam waved his hand. “I’ll deal with it well enough.”

  “Whatever you say, you clown. Here. And there’s no bad blood between us. A century isn’t anything at all, it’s but a blink.”

  Great Outer God ??? has given you a quest.

  Quest: Kill all the gods.

  Reward: Crown of Yullu

  “Yeah, I accept and all that,” Liam said.

  You have accepted the quest!

  Great Outer God ??? has given you an item.

  You have received a [Godslayer Crystal], meant to be ingested by making it into a soup. The ingredients are as follows:

  One toad mushroom

  One bottle of [Perfect Elixir]

  A great desire to end the gods.

  Liam looked at the [Godslayer Crystal], which glowed just like a magic emerald. It was the same color as well, he noticed. He wasn’t sure if the Outer God was trying to scam him. But it seemed real enough, and it had a nice sheen to it.

  “I’ve got enough of a desire,” he muttered. “Well, Janitor! If you can send me to the nearest orphanage in the Overworld, that would be greatly appreciated!”

  “Sure. Now, out of my sight.”

  Liam chuckled as his vision flashed and he was swept back into the Overworld, not entirely happy about the fact that he was going to enter his mortal body again.

  Still, he now had a goal.

  And some time to enjoy himself, as well.

  * * *

  Liam wasn’t exactly sure he was in the right place. The Outer God had dropped him on a cliff, overlooking quite a pretty view. Fluffy clouds that he could and would bounce on top off, and maybe eat like cotton candy. A calm, sparkling blue sky. A healthy, thriving forest down below. The works.

  There was no orphanage, though.

  Have my senses dulled or something? He thought. Do I really have to use a skill for this?

  He stood, thinking of which skills to use in order of priority.

  “[Infinite Pipe],” he said. A long smoking pipe fashioned itself out of his mana, made from what looked like a reed. It was already lit. Liam clamped his mouth over it and began to smoke. The blend of smoke was enough to make a man go insane, as it contained fairy dust, but it was great for him.

  Ah. Then, the next priority.

  “[Search].”

  What would you like to search for?

  “An orphanage. Preferably one with a kid who won’t die if they eat this.” Liam flashed the [Godslayer Crystal] to the system screen, accidentally letting out a blinding light over the world. He hastily put the thing away.

  Searching…

  Search completed.

  Orphanage found: Jeaner’s Orphanage for the Poor, Ardenstrom City

  Location Marker Created.

  Distance: 34 mi.

  Liam had two options now. Well, three. He could continue to smoke his pipe here until sunset came, and then he could go to the orphanage. Or, he could run through the forest, maybe frolic with the magic animals for a bit, and take his time to get there.

  He could also make haste and just teleport there. That would cut out a lot of the fluff in his eyes.

  “[Teleport],” he said. “[Location: Ardenstrom City].”

  Liam didn’t want to come off as a crazy guy, even though he was quite handsome with his soft features and long hair—this wasn’t his own opinion, but the opinion of a member of his party quite a long time ago. She’d died a while back.

  But he didn’t want to look crazy, so he thought he’d ditch the dirty overalls he was wearing now, and look for a mage’s robe in the city instead. He’d also buy flowers and some gifts… anything to pamper the kid and cancel out the effects of his forcefully equipped Title.

  With a warp of light, he was gone.

  * * *

  The streets were made of cobblestone, which pained Liam terribly. Maybe he’d gotten too accustomed to the more modern cities he’d seen further up north, but he didn’t like the way it looked.

  Although the city itself, in his eyes, was flowery. All the buildings had a distinct Victorian style, with ornate designs and steeply pitched roofs. There was an excess of wood—which was a bit off—and stained glass windows everywhere too.

  The roads sloped upward to the palace, which was located at the center of the city. Liam could swear that it was tilted a bit. But in his opinion, it was cheery enough. A nice city, raising nice people. Obviously, the orphanage should be nice as well.

  “Are you new here, sir?” A young woman’s voice shook him from his stupor.

  Liam glanced right, shutting off any accidental bloodlust.

  The woman wore a frilly dress made of baby-blue fabric. She had a rose in her black hair. She looked a bit socially awkward, like Liam was quite a long time ago—and still was. His stats didn’t really affect his brick of a personality.

  “I am,” Liam replied. “You could call me a wandering mage, looking for my next quest.”

  Shoot. That was about the corniest, dumbest thing he could say.

  The woman’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “A mage? You’re awakened, then? Most of our mages are cooped up in the Academy right now, so we don’t get to see them often. Say…” the woman leaned in to observe Liam. He stepped back, not appreciating her breaking into his personal bubble. “Can you show me some magic?”

  That’s what they all ask, Liam thought, exasperated. Every time. All the non-awakened.

  It gets damn tiring.

  Liam smoked his pipe for a bit longer before finally giving in. It didn’t hurt him, after all. Then, he pointed his finger up, preparing to blow the woman’s mind.

  “[Fireworks].”

  Sparking, multicolored flames burst from his fingertips, flying like eagles into the sky. They exploded far up above into a staggering but incredibly beautiful display… all until one tiny flicker of mana fell too close to the ground, smashing into some building.

  The woman stared at him.

  Liam let out a shaky, nervous laugh.

  Was this not the right [Fireworks] skill? He didn’t know which mage he’d stolen this one from.

  “I didn’t ask you to destroy my house…” the woman began.

  “That was yours?!” Liam gawked. His bad luck was really off the charts. “I do apologize, I’ll fix it in a second.”

  “That’s not the problem,” the woman said. “You’d best get moving. My father works there, and he has a bit of a temper. So… if you don’t want to get your face fixed…”

  Liam nodded. He understood what the woman was trying to say. Fortunately for him, he had no chance of getting his face “fixed” by an angry old man. So he simply snapped his fingers.

  “[Reverse Damage].”

  The broken bits of rubble all reassembled themselves, and the flames disappeared. The house looked good as new.

  “What’s your name?” Liam asked the woman.

  “Uh… Marie,” she replied in a daze. “I forgot what I came here to do anyway… Here’s a flyer.” She pressed a poster into Liam’s hands and ran away. There was a crowd gathering, but Liam simply concealed himself with a cloak of mana and got out of the way quickly.

  He ducked into an alleyway.

  Well, that hadn’t exactly gone well.

  Opening up the crumpled flyer, he took a look. It depicted a swordsman and a mage, with a bunch of symbols around them. The tagline read “JOIN THE ACADEMY! BECOME THE GREATEST!” Which was obviously just bait, in Liam’s eyes. He was the greatest mortal. So none of them could become the greatest.

  Anyway, so much for starting with a good impression.

  And so much for buying gifts or a new change of clothes. That would take too much time. And he didn’t want to magic new clothes into existence.

  Liam gazed at the [Location Marker] that his [Search] skill had set up. It pointed to a location on the far outskirts of the city.

  He sighed.

  “[Teleport]. [Location: Location Marker].”

  2

  Chapter 2: Evil Orphanage / New Child

  This… is an orphanage? Liam looked upon the small manor, which sat on top of a hill. But it wasn’t a normal hill, as the grass was actually blackened, charred with the color of coal. The manor itself looked like a haunted house would look if someone had bashed it with a giant hammer a couple of times. It had a rotten stench as well, which was most definitely not fit for children to live in.